The Scenes Between
by Adelheide1121
Summary: What do a Secret Agent and infectious disease Doctor do off-screen? A series of vignettes to help fill in the gaps. Think of it as Finn & Anna: The Extended Cut. These scenes won't be in chronological order.
1. Chapter 1

Holding Cell, Location Unknown

The damp air of the cell grew colder making Anna deduce that night had fallen. Out of habit, she walked a circuit around the cell. Her senses were alert, constantly looking and listening. She turned towards the narrow cot that was set against the stained cinder block wall. Finn lay there his arm thrown over his face and he was snoring ever so slightly. Her face softened as she looked at him. She had scolded him for following Robert's plan but if she was honest with herself she was impressed with how well he was handling the situation. She was coming to understand that he had more skills that of just sarcasm.

She walked over and looked at Finn as he slept and before she could stop herself she reached to brush the dark hair away from his eyes. She was tempted to run her fingers through it but was loath to wake him. Experience had taught her that sleep was a precious commodity while in captivity.

A noise on the other side of their cell door caught her attention. They must change guards for the night shift she thought. That would make the time around eight or nine o'clock pm. Suddenly she felt fingers close around her wrist and looked down to see Finn rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Oh good you're really here I didn't just dream you." He rubbed his temples in an attempt to rid himself of the weariness he still felt.

"If being in a damp room perfumed by mildew is a dream of yours I would recommend you reach higher." She arched her brow at him and smiled wryly.

"You know that's a really good idea." He stood up and loomed over her.

Anna never perceived herself as small but she was acutely aware of how tall he was as he leaned closer in. She swallowed. As much as she wanted to deny it something about Hamilton Finn made the calm cool Agent Devane feel breathless and undone. It was something she hadn't felt in a very very long time and It was a feeling she was happy to be enjoying again so unexpectedly. Kidnapping be damned she decided she didn't want to waste a moment with him. They had wasted too many already since their disastrous New Year's Eve thanks to Cassandra and in large part to her own fears. Don't ever push me away for my own good again. Finn's words echoed in her ears. Stepping even closer she smiled brilliantly at him as she reached her hands under the edge of his vest. She spread her fingers across his ribcage when she heard him inhale sharply.

"Are you ok?" she pulled back immediately

"Sure, your hands are cold and I love the feel of ice cubes on my skin."

"No, that wasn't it. You winced in pain. Did they hurt you?" Before Finn could protest she had pushed him towards the cot and placed her hands on his shoulders urging him to sit down.

"Let me see."

Without waiting for an answer Anna knelt down in front of him and reached for the buttons of his vest. Despite her concern, she couldn't help but smile at the contrast of the formality of his attire with the drabness of their surroundings. She also realized she liked this, the ritual of undressing him. There was something so sensual about peeling through all of the layers: vest, tie, and dress shirt to reach the man beneath. It was so different from what she experienced with her past lovers, especially Robert, who usually stripped himself down to his boxers before she had even made the first move.

She heard Finn hiss in discomfort which broke Anna from her revery and caused her to refocus on the task in front of her. First, her fingers deftly unbuttoned his vest. He reclined slightly and watched, making no motion to assist her. Anna eased the vest off his shoulders and set it aside. Her hands moved to his tie and as she slid the knot down his hand reached to cover hers. He looked into her eyes and kissed it gently then released her so she could continue.

She moved next to unbutton his shirt and parted it to look at him in the thin pale flickering neon light that barely cast enough of a glow to see by. She could see swelling and the mottled color of a bruise on his torso. Her trained eyes recognized a blunt force contusion when she saw one. She looked at him in surprise.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Goons 1. Ribs 0." he quipped.

Anna resisted the urge to roll her eyes and got back to her work. She carefully ran her hands along the swollen skin pressing carefully to feel for signs of internal bleeding.

"Ouch! A warning maybe? Your bedside manner could use some improvement."

"You are going to lecture me on bedside manner? Seriously?"

"Hey, my patients find my abruptness...refreshing"

"Mmmhmm...I'll bet they do." she retorted sarcastically. She leaned back on her heels and looked him over with her eyes. "Well, Dr. Finn I'll need to determine the severity of injury so I can know if this is serious or not."

"And who's the doctor in this operation?"

"Don't worry all WSB field agents have to be trained to deal with injuries in the field. I will need to thoroughly assess your wound"

"Oh, really how will you do that?"

"Well the first task is to assess the injured person, perform a full check of the wound and look for signs and symptoms of more serious injury." she leaned forward angling for a better look.

"Oh, well that doesn't sound too bad. Feel free to assess me for as long as you like Agent Devane."

The way he placed just a hint of suggestiveness in his voice coupled with the dark look in his eyes made Anna pause. She had the sudden and overwhelming need to touch him. She wasn't sure what had come over her but at this moment she didn't feel like second guessing it either.

With a gleam in her eye, Anna leaned down and gently kissed the marred flesh on his abdomen. Once the area had been thoroughly explored she continued up his rib cage and then up and over the line of his sternum. She smiled with satisfaction when she heard his breath hitch as her lips breathed warm air onto his chest. Goosebumps rose as she continued to survey his body for any other signs of injury.

"Next I have to ask if you have any allergies."

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Good. Medications?"

"I try to stay away from pills if I can."

"Duly noted. Past pertinent medical history?"

"That's a long sordid tale do you want to be up all night?"

"Alright then." She leaned in, the nearness of him was overwhelming. She placed her hands on his chest and angled her face toward his. She had really missed him and the realization both surprised and delighted her.

"Last oral intake?" She whispered low in his ear His face was only millimeters from her own. She felt him shiver and she was certain it wasn't from the cold. He made no sound and Anna realized she may have finally left the man of endless comebacks completely speechless.

"Doctor?" she asked huskily and then in an instant his hands were in her hair and his lips were on hers. His tongue was insistently exploring her mouth and she adjusted to deepen the kiss. It had been so long since she had felt him this close and warmth spread like fire through her limbs. During her captivity, she had spent hours trying to keep track of the days and weeks passing by but she had spent a fair amount of time thinking about the planes of his body. Their time together had been interrupted and remembering the feel of him was something just familiar enough but not so routine that she knew it by heart.

Her hands moved to tangle in his hair as he placed his firmly on her hips. He pulled at her till she was sitting on his lap and then his hands moved to the buttons of her blouse. Anna inhaled sharply as Finn's lips moved to the column of her neck and she closed her eyes taking in the sensation. But something in the back of her mind was blaring like a claxon, trying to get her to return to earth from the heights Finn was quickly taking her to.

She knew they needed to stop. The practical side of her psyche knew he was injured and had gone through a harrowing experience. He needed rest. But there another side of her that had been hidden away for so long and that part of her soul was aching to be touched. Anna let the angel and devil wrestle on her shoulder until the practical side won out. She reluctantly pulled back from his embrace and attempted to catch her breath.

"What?" Finn looked at her quizzically but stilled his hands as soon as he felt her withdraw.

"As much as I hate saying this, and believe me I do hate saying this, but you really need to rest. I don't want this bruise to get worse and we have no idea to expect tomorrow. On top of it all, I need to think out a plan for us."

"But I feel fine. Fit as a fiddle." he patted his side for emphasis and then groaned. "Ok, maybe it's more than a little tender. But if we slow down now you have to promise we can celebrate properly when we get home, right?" She nodded emphatically, her heart warming when he reached out to squeeze her hand.

"Can you hold me?" she noticed by his raised eyebrows that her request had caught him off guard. And no wonder, she wasn't one to ask for things from others.

He lay down and shifted his weight on the thin mattress to give her a sliver of space. She carefully wedged herself against the wall of the cell and the warmth of his body trying her best to avoid disturbing his left side. She settled into the crook of his arm and relished the feel of his hand on her hip. She pulled the rough wool blanket that lay at their feet over them and looked into his clear blue eyes; eyes she could see were filled with weariness.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. She looked at him in the dim light. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey," he said reaching to cup the side of her face "I'm sorry for not being here sooner. I'm sorry I didn't know you were missing. Maybe we can have a code or something so I'll be better at this whole thing in the future."

"The future…" she began but let her voice trail off. She couldn't bear the thought of him being in danger again because of her. He must have read her mood because he turned to look her directly in the eyes and wouldn't let her look away.

"Listen, I'm just glad that you are alright. I was worried they had hurt you. When Robert told me you were missing I assumed the worst." He entwined his fingers with hers his thumb tracing circles on the side of her wrist. She liked his hands and how they always seemed to be reaching for and caressing hers. He had healer's hands, strong and capable.

"It's ok, I'm fine." she squeezed his hand reassuringly hoping the pressure would alleviate some of his worries. "But I am curious about something. How did Robert handle my disappearance?"

"Calm actually. Which seemed strange considering that you are...you know...what the two of you are to each other.

Anna chuckled "I know what you are trying to say. No, that's good that he seemed controlled that means that the Intel he has convinced him that our lives are not in immediate danger. If he had been truly worried for my life then you would have been able to tell."

"You mean he has a setting other than sardonic disdain?" Finn was rewarded by the sound of Anna's silvery laugh that was muffled as she pressed her face into his chest.

"Oh yes. He can be overbearing but he has gotten me out of a tight spot more than once and God knows I owe him for that." She snuggled closer to Finn. "Thank you, by the way, for trusting me. I need to know who is behind this and what they want with you. Thank you for understanding that."

"If there is one thing I have learned about you, other than how you like your tea, it's that you would rather banish me from your life than let me get harmed so if I should trust in anything, it would be you. You wouldn't risk me unnecessarily, at least, I don't think so."

"No that's true. I wouldn't. I hope to keep you around a bit longer. Go ahead and sleep. My instincts tell me that they will want to move us right before dawn; early enough to transport us without being hampered by traffic but late enough not to draw suspicion while on the road."

She kissed his cheek and she felt his grip on her tighten and he pulled her closer. She could feel him kiss the crown of her head. The gesture was so sweetly given that she felt the prick of tears forming unbidden behind her eyelids. Finn had a way of disarming her in unexpected ways, he was such surprise.

"Anna, promise you won't go anywhere without me," he said softly. With those final words, Finn closed his eyes and was out like a light.

Anna smiled and reached to touch his face. She felt the curve of his jaw and the roughness of the stubble of his chin under her fingers. She luxuriated for a moment in the feeling of his warmth.

"Don't worry, I won't," she whispered before joining him in a dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Pier 55, Port Charles Harbor

He found her standing at the pier looking out into the harbor. The sound of the bells were tolling in the distance and the breeze coming off the water lifted her dark hair, wafting it about her shoulders. She was still dressed in the same outfit she had worn to the Nurse's Ball. Her arms wrapped around herself, rubbing her upper arms as if to keep herself warm. As he walked closer, Finn noticed her teeth were chattering and she seemed to be shivering uncontrollably. He recognized the signs. In WWI it was called shellshock, then it was called post-traumatic stress and now in civilian terms, it was called an Acute Stress Reaction. But it all meant the same thing, her body was reacting to a traumatic incident. He couldn't think of too many incidents that could top being held at gunpoint and threatened by the child you gave up for adoption. But then again this was Anna, she had endured more pain than anyone should ever have to bear. He moved to stand next to her, his hands in his pockets, simply waiting to see what toll the last 24 hours had taken on her body and soul.

"He was right you know, Valentin. I was ambitious. Impressing Sean, that's all I could think about. How could I get WSB Chief Donely to notice an orphan from nowhere in particular? And I thought I was so clever that I'd take down Cesar Faison. What stupid stupid fool I was. And now we all pay the price, Peter, Robin, Nathan, Robert. I should have killed him a long time ago. But I never could and for the life of me, I don't know why. Why did I turn out to be such a coward? Sean would be so disappointed in me. And Valentin...I should kill him for what he did to Peter. I could do it you know, but I'd have to think it out carefully."

Finn recognized what was happening. He had seen it in areas ravaged by disease when the loss was too great, trauma had a way of unlocking memories and emotions long buried. Anna was in a full memory cascade. He turned to her slowly like he was approaching a skittish colt that might bolt at any moment. As he moved her he saw her tense up. He raised his hands in a non-threatening manner.

"When was the last time you ate?"

She looked at him confused. "What?"

"When is the last time you ate? It's a simple question. How about slept? My guess is that you have been up for at least 24 hours. Listen, even superheroes need sleep."

She returned to looking at the water and he sidled close enough to reach for her hand. She didn't pull away. As nonchalantly as he could manage, he placed his fingers on her wrist and tried to look at his watch without being obvious. She turned to look at him and he felt like she was just becoming truly aware of his presence for the first time.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm taking your pulse."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a doctor. And I was right, your heart is racing. Your body is in a tug of war between fight and flight. You need to take care of yourself."

"I'm fine." She took a step away a resumed looking out at the dark choppy water.

And there she was, Agent Devane. But Finn knew Anna was in there somewhere buried deep down in her psyche. He wanted to find her and retrieve her before she was too deep to reach.

"I disagree with that assessment. I'm going to take you home."

At first, he was sure she was going whirl on him and tell him to go to hell. But instead, she exhaled in a deep weary sigh and nodded and then she leaned on his shoulder. He held her close and stared out at the harbor amazed that just 5 hours ago she had been in a standoff and could have ended up with a bullet hole. What would he have done if she had been wheeled into General Hospital, bleeding out on the very night he had worked up the courage to tell her the truth about how he felt. She had begun to fill this void in his life and the prospect of losing her terrified him.

It's not easy to stand by and watch people eviscerate themselves with the best intentions.

That's what makes this a tragedy.

Their words from earlier filled his mind as he helped her into his car. Throughout the car ride, she rambled about the times she could have eliminated Faison punctuated now and then with how she would rid the world of Valentin. Finn was impressed by her creativity. And her knowledge of international maritime laws and countries with bribable judiciary systems was exhaustive. He took note that she seemed to be owed several favors from individuals with questionable backgrounds. Good to know.

As time passed she grew silent in the car. He tried to keep her talking but soon she ignored even yes or no questions. She was shutting down and locking herself up in her own mind. All Finn could concentrate on was his desire to care for her. There was no one stronger than Anna Devane but everyone had their limits and he knew she had reached hers. As a doctor, the drive to heal and restore the body was what got him out of bed and into the hospital every morning. But it's the emotional wounds you can't diagnose with a blood test or see on a scan that frustrated him. How could he even begin to devise a course of treatment? He would have to do what he did best and focus on easing the physical symptoms first. Everything inside him was urging him to take care of her and he would.

Finn unlocked the front door to their house- Anna's house he corrected himself.

It hadn't been his for months. He helped remove her coat and led her up the stairs and down the hall to her bedroom. She followed docilely.

He walked into the master bathroom and began to run her a bath, filling the white clawfoot with hot water. He had expected Anna to follow but she still stood where he had left her so he took her hand and brought her in. The room was already becoming warm with steam. His hand moved to the satin sash at her waist and he untied it. Her choice of attire for the Nurses Ball made sense now. It would be hard to conceal a gun in an evening gown although Finn had no doubt that Anna had plenty of experience with guns and gowns.

Next, he removed her satin jacket leaving her upper body covered only by her black bra. He had her sit on the vanity chair as he bent to remove her shoes then pulled her up to stand and he worked to peel her black slacks from her. At no time did she pull away or make motions to help him. She was still locked away in her own thoughts. Soon she stood, underwear-clad, in the middle of the bathroom. The tub was filled and white oleander-scented bubbles covered the surface. He waited for her to make motions to finish undressing or move towards the bath but she still stood motionless.

Finn's jaw set as he made a decision and closed the distance between them. He picked her up and she felt like nothing in his arms. Somehow this woman managed to be tough as steel and light as air at the same time. He gently set her into the tub and she gasped as she sank into the warm water. She leaned forward drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Finn reached forward and lightly touched her shoulder. She looked at him and nodded knowing what he wanted to do. He reached forward and unhooked her black lace bra and she shrugged it off. She then shimmied in the water until her black lace panties were removed as well. Then Anna leaned back and closed her eyes.

Finn left her to soak and walked downstairs to the kitchen and set about making tea. He pulled down the electric kettle from a shelf and filled it with water. He had gotten it for her for Christmas. He pulled down the largest mug he could find and the tin of chamomile tea that was also a gift from him when he had thought she could use less caffeine. He remembered the exasperated look she had given him as she had pushed his gift aside reached for her favorite Earl Grey. This room was filled with memories. The whole house was filled with the ghosts of laughter and conversation. He thought over his time here and one thing struck him. He had been happy. Home, that was what this house was to him if he allowed himself to admit it. Here with her and her things. He got back to the task at hand. He wondered if he could convince her to eat something. Maybe toast to go with the tea. He set two slices of bread into the toaster and got out the marmalade and peanut butter. He didn't know where she developed a taste for such an unholy combination but then nothing about Anna Devane had a simple explanation.

With all of his items collected Finn mounted the stairs again. He set the tray holding the cup and saucer and toast on her nightstand. He looked around the room until he found a dog eared copy of Pride and Prejudice. Despite her tech savviness Anna preferred to read real physical books, and she had a particular fondness for hardbacks. He set the book next to the tray in case she wanted it. He then turned down the covers to make the bed ready for her.

He crept up and put his ear to the bathroom door and he could hear the sound of wracking sobs. He resisted the urge to go to her. This was the catharsis she needed and his presence might keep her from giving in to her emotions. She was the strongest person he had ever met but she had a lifetime worth of tears that needed to be shed and he would give her the space to do that. He would be there to help build her up again after.

Finn crossed the room and pulled open the top drawer of the dresser looking for something to put her into after her bath. He stopped short when he found a dark blue men's dress shirt neatly folded and sitting on top of her pajama sets. He lifted it up. He recognized the dark blue material printed with tiny black polka dots. This was his, he must have left it behind the night of their ill-fated second attempt at New Year's Eve. He inspected it closer. The shirt had been brand new and he had only worn it once before he left the house. But looking closely at the shirt in his hand he could see that fabric was faded and the collar was no longer crisp. It showed signs of wear and looked as if it had been laundered often. The scent of Anna's perfume lingered on it. He stood stunned for a moment processing what this meant. She really had missed him all this time.

He set the shirt on the bed and returned to listen at the door. The sound of her cries had ceased and when he entered the room she lay back with her eyes closed. Finn took a moment to unbutton and roll up the cuffs of his shirt. Bottles filled a caddy that was next to the tub. He selected one and poured its contents into the palm of his hand. He then knelt down behind her and massaged the lavender scented gel into her wet hair, raking his fingers across her scalp causing her to sigh in appreciation. He then scrubbed her back and arms till her skin was pink. Finn finished by rinsing the suds from her hair. He felt like he was helping her wash away all of the guilt and sorrow she had harbored for so long.

Once he had finished bathing her he held out a warm terry cloth towel as she stood up and exited the bath. He tried to be gentlemanly and avert his eyes but it was hard to ignore the sight of her, shining and sleek from the tub, in front of him. She was beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and carry her to the bed and finish what they had started before he so foolishly left all those months ago. But now was not the time he reminded himself, so instead, he dried her off and smiling he held out the blue shirt for her to slip her arms into.

She stiffened when she saw it as if she had been caught red-handed but Finn's smile was soon mirrored by her own as she covered face with her hand in embarrassment. He helped her into the shirt and carefully fastened each of the small jet black buttons leaving the top one open. Try as he might he couldn't ignore that she bit her lip when his fingers grazed her skin as he worked at each buttonhole. Once done, he folded and smoothed the shirt collar and took a step back to look at her.

The sight of her standing in front of him barefoot, her damp hair tousled, skin glowing and wearing his clothes caused something to snap inside him. Finn's heart began to pound so hard he was certain she could hear it. The urge to wrap his arms around her waist and place his mouth on hers was so strong he didn't know how he found the strength to resist it. He took a deep breath to compose himself and reached for her hand instead.

Anna took his hand in her own but then walked right into his arms. Surprised, Finn pulled her to him enveloping her. Anna seemed to melt into him and then he felt her knees buckle. Exhaustion had finally overcome her. He picked her up and carried her to her bed, laid her down and tucked her in. He even cajoled her into taking three bites of toast and a gulp of tea. He then sat beside her and rubbed her back until he heard the even sound of her breathing which signaled that her battle with sleep was over and she was finally at rest. He leaned down and kissed her cheek softly before gathering his things and leaving her home. But this time he knew he would be back.


	3. Monte Carlo

Monte Carlo, Monaco

"So this is how I'm going to die. Going over a cliff and drowning in the ocean."

"Oh don't be so dramatic." Anna shifted and accelerated out of the turn.

"We are supposed to be driving to a casino not winning the Grand Prix."

The growl of the Ferrari F430 F1 Spider accelerating around the next curve was the only response he received.

"Well if you ever wanted to quit the spy business, you could have a good career as a race car driver."

He saw her expression change ever so slightly as she flinched at his words. Something he said had struck a nerve.

"You are not the first person to make that observation." She said tensely. "Listen, it's been a long time since I've driven these roads and even longer since I've done it while not being chased or in pursuit of someone. Let me enjoy myself, while you sit back and enjoy the ride."

The roar of the V8 engine prompted Finn to check his seatbelt one more time and braced his arms against the center console and the armrest. He tried to look out the window to enjoy the views of the Cote D'Azur, but all he could think about was careening into the picturesque Mediterranean ocean. He didn't relax until Anna brought the car to a screeching halt at the front entrance of the Casino de Monte-Carlo. The glamorous Belle Epoque building loomed over them, aglow with light and activity. Once he was done being thankful that he was standing on solid ground, Finn surveyed the architecture trying to classify the ornate style of the building.

"Neoclassical?" he asked

"Close." Anna answered "Beaux-Arts style."

"That's it." He snapped his fingers.

She handed the keys to the valet and reached to take the arm that Finn offered her.

"See? You made it in one piece," Anna teased. "You really should learn to trust me."

They walked up the stairs and through the heavy doors made of polished wood and gleaming glass. They passed by the Salle des Amériques, the sound of slot machines merrily rang out, serenading the gamblers that were sitting at them. Anna seemed to know her way around the complex, as she deftly guided him towards a room of impressive proportions.

"Welcome to the Lounge Bar Salle Europe. Please allow me to check your coats for the evening." The lounge host greeted them warmly.

Finn looked appreciatively at the opulence of the setting. His gaze was captivated by the gilding, the vibrant paintings, sculptures, and bas-reliefs. The effervescent atmosphere around the gaming tables made the Salle Europe Bar the perfect location to take in the sights. The lounge offered a cozy area in which to sit back and watch the casino floor, perfect for soaking up the atmosphere. The live piano music only added to the charm.

Finn tore his eyes away from the lounge's polished interior to help Anna out of her long black overcoat. As she shrugged out of it, Finn's eyes widened. The sight of what was being revealed made him forget about the decor altogether. The short, red silk cocktail dress she wore skimmed her body like a second skin. It had a high neckline but draped low in the back, exposing the long line of her spine. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and glinted in the bright lights of the casino floor. Finn was speechless for a moment. Anna was usually so buttoned up that seeing her like this made his jaw literally drop. He told himself not to stare and instead fiddled with the buttons on the sleeves of his dress shirt.

Anna turned to him and smiled as she placed her fingers on his tie, smoothing a small crease. She made a final adjustment and slid her hands slowly to rest on the lapel of the perfectly fitted dinner jacket she had selected for him. Anna thought he looked quite handsome. She hoped that she could help assuage the sadness that still lingered in his eyes. She still felt terrible for her insensitivity earlier in the evening at the Brasserie. Talking about her family after the loss he experienced had been callous. She was already pushing him far past his comfort zone to catch Cassandra Pierce she didn't need to top it off with cruelty, unintentional or not. "Your ability to read a person is slipping Devane," she chastised herself internally.

"Try to have fun tonight, yeah?" She looked up into his face and gave a small smile, and he nodded in response while letting out a deep breath. The sight of a figure walking up to them caught Finn's attention, and Anna turned to follow his gaze. Unexpectedly, she gave a little squeal, jumped and clapped her hands together. Finn blinked in surprise.

"Mademoiselle Devane! We have not seen you in so long, Cherie! What a pleasure for you to be with us tonight." A man Finn guessed to be in his late 50's was walking towards them his arms wide. He was graying around the temples and was clad in a white tuxedo jacket. The red geranium at the lapel gave him a rather rakish look.

Anna clasped her hands to her heart before holding them out to the man. "Jacques! It's been too long." They kissed their hellos and then Jacques took her hands in his and looked her over.

"You are as beautiful as ever."

"And you are as charming as ever."

"Now what brings you here to Monaco? Business or pleasure?"

She looked behind her shoulder at Finn. "Perhaps a little bit of both."

"And who do you have with you tonight?"

"Oh, of course, where are my manners. Jacques this is Dr. Hamilton Finn. Finn this is Jacques, he is the floor manager here at the Casino de Monte-Carlo. He has been a dear friend to me over the years."

"If I am your dear friend then you were my angel. Come! Drinks are on the house tonight. What can I get you, Anna? A Kir Royal? Or champagne? We have the 2006 Laurent Perrier Grand Siècle, your favorite year as I recall." He snapped his fingers to signal the bartender.

"You have an excellent memory but…,"She glanced at a rather uncomfortable looking Finn who stood with one hand in his pocket and rubbed the back of his neck with the other. "I think tonight calls for something stronger. I think a scotch on the rocks will do nicely."

"And you sir?" Jacques asked politely

"Club soda with a twist of lime will be fine."

"I'll leave you to enjoy yourselves and your drinks while I find you room in the VIP salon." With that, he kissed Anna on the cheek and hurried away. Finn looked at her incredulous.

"Really? A Secret Agent in Monte Carlo, isn't that a little cliche?"

"Mmm, maybe it is." she acquiesced.

"Next you are going to tell me you had Baccarat lessons as part of your training, right after poisoning."

She arched her brow at him. "Oh yes, that's right. It was right after Poisoning 101 and before the Seminar on Enhanced Interrogation Techniques."

Anna turned and leaned back against the bar looking out on the busy casino floor. Finn noticed that her eyes were scanning the faces in the room and she seemed to take special note of all the entrances and exits. Anna picked up her glass and walked to a small table that gave her an unobstructed view of the gaming tables. Finn followed and pulled out the chair for her, and she nodded her head in thanks as she sat down.

"Looking for someone?" He asked.

"Not in particular, but this is the sort of place where one might run into old friends." A faraway look filled her eyes for a moment.

"Why do I get the feeling that old friends is just spy-speak for enemies."

Her eyes snapped to his, and she gave him a withering look. "I think you've watched too many James Bond films." She took a sip of her scotch. She tasted caramel, toasted oak with a smoky finish and a note of dark honey. It was sublime.

"Besides," She leaned forward in her seat and leaned her chin on her hand so she could look at him directly, "I'm too high profile of a target. They would have to be foolish to attempt an assassination in such a public place. They would wait till we leave."

A look of horror covered Finn's face, and he looked all around in a panic. Anna tried to contain her mirth for as long as she could, but then her laugh rang like a silver bell through the casino floor which turned heads in their direction. Anna barely registered the stir she was making as her laughter made her breathless. Once she composed herself, she leaned in over the small table between them and smiled widely at him. Her smile seemed to brighten the whole room. Finn realized that this was the first time he had really heard her laugh and it was delightful. It took him off guard and before Finn could help himself, and he was joining in her laughter until his face hurt from smiling.

"So how do you know that Jacques guy? Ex-boyfriend?"

"Hardly. No, I helped break up a card counting ring that was using international casinos as a means to launder money from illegal arms deals."

"Impressive."

"It sounds more exciting than it was," she said dismissively

"Somehow I doubt that."

"Well, it's not like what you do." Anna raised her glass towards him in salute.

"Like what I do?" Finn was perplexed. "Look at slides through microscopes?"

"No, being an Infectious Disease doctor." Anna slapped him lightly on the shoulder, and he looked down in surprise then back at her.

"Excuse me, how is that exciting? I don't think I have heard anyone use that term to describe me ever. I'm probably the least exciting person on the planet."

"Oh come on, you're joking." she rolled her eyes, but when he continued to look at her uncomprehendingly, she sighed and sat up straighter so she could explain.

"It's exciting because of the risk you take in treating your patients every single day. Most doctors simply treat their patient's condition. Take Griffin, for example, he's a talented neurosurgeon, but he doesn't have to worry about contracting the tumor he's removing from his patient. But you...you have to treat the patient and contain any threat there might be to the population at large. What you do doesn't affect just one life; you might protect hundreds if not thousands of people. And then there is the risk to yourself from being exposed to dangerous infections that you face head-on every day. It takes courage to do what you do." She raised her glass to her lips and swallowed the remaining liquid. Then she signaled to the bartender for another drink.

Finn was stunned by her words. He had never thought of himself in those terms before, and courageous was definitely not an adjective he would have applied to himself...ever. He had spent the last month in seclusion barely keeping himself afloat and this woman, who took down international weapons dealers for a living, was talking to him like he was some sort of a hero.

He took a moment to really look at her. The single candle on their table reflected its light off the angles of her face. The hollow of her throat stood out in relief at the base of her neck. Her warm brown eyes smiled at him, and her sleek dark hair shone glossy in the candlelight. He felt an unexpected tightness in his chest when he looked at her, and a feeling he couldn't quite place filled him. Gratitude wasn't the right word. Maybe the right word was honored.

He cleared his throat and reached for this club soda. "I guess...I guess I never really thought about it like that."

Anna nodded and took another sip of her drink. She tapped her glass against her lips and seemed lost in thought. Finn wanted to ask her what was on her mind but before he could the lounge host approached their table.

"Pardon me, Sir, Madame, but a place has been found for you in the Baccarat lounge, please follow me."

Finn stood up and offered her his arm. She nestled her hand in the crook of his elbow, and they walked towards the Salle Médecin, ready to try their luck.

"So do you think the Baccarat gods will smile on us tonight?" Finn asked

"I'm hoping you will be my lucky charm," Anna answered.


	4. Chapter 4

Devane Manor, Port Charles

The house was quiet when she entered it. Anna had noticed Finn's car parked in the driveway but the lights were dimmed and she couldn't hear him on the lower floor. One would think that the house was empty, but she knew it wasn't. Even if it were not for the sight of his medical bag on the table next to the door she would know Finn was there. She could feel his presence warming the house. He filled the large empty space with life, sarcasm, and humor. He was like a spark inside her home, which for so long had been as cold and vacant as a mausoleum in the nighttime hours.

Anna kicked off her shoes in the darkened foyer and mounted the stairs with the intention of shedding herself of her business attire, getting comfortable and maybe retiring with a good book and a glass of red wine. The light seeping out from under his door let her know that he was inside. "He must be in his room relaxing with Roxy," she mused to herself. The thought of him cuddled up with his bearded dragon made her smile.

As she made her way down the dark hallway, without warning, Anna found herself walking straight into a firm object. She pitched forward and lost her balance. Her world tilted and she was falling until she felt herself caught in two strong arms. Anna's dark brown eyes found themselves looking into Finn's crystal blue ones. His damp hair fell over his right eye which gave him an almost boyish look despite his age. She was suddenly aware that her hands were pressed against his naked chest. She could feel the firm muscle under her palms and the smell of sandalwood, musk, and clove on his skin was rosy and warm.

Anna's mind slowly started piecing together the situation she was in. Two things were suddenly apparent. One, Finn had just come from the shower. Her eyes spied a spot of royal blue on the floor. Two, Finn's effort to keep her from falling must have made him drop his towel. She looked at the muscles of his arms taut with the task of holding her in place.

Finn pulled her upright and then, to her surprise, lifted her completely off the ground then set her down. Anna Devane was not used to being literally swept off her feet. Once her feet were on the floor she was aware that she was still pressed against him and he had one hand on the back of her neck, tangled in her hair, while the other was still pressed against the small of her back. The whole situation had left her breathless, and the combination of the fall and Finn catching her had set her nerves on fire. Finn looked into her eyes for what seemed like a lifetime then he smiled at her.

"When I let go don't look, alright?" His voice was low and gruff and Anna felt the rumble of his voice reverberating down through her toes. She felt herself flush like she was some shy teenager rather than a grown woman who had seen plenty of naked men in her time; although she admitted to herself, it had been awhile.

Finn released his hold on her. Anna stepped back and turned her head as he bent down to retrieve the towel from the floor. When she turned back he was securing it at his waist. "I'm sorry I almost knocked you over," he said sheepishly. "I was using the hall shower because the water pressure is better than in my room for some reason." He used his thumb to point towards the door behind him.

"Yes...well you know these old houses the...uh... plumbing...is..is well…" Her eyes were drawn down to the muscles of Finn's abdomen and continued to his navel. She was distracted by the sight of his hipbone that was peeking from just above the low-slung towel. Anna found herself grasping for words. "What were you saying?"

"I wasn't saying anything. You were telling me about the plumbing." A smile began to bloom on his face and mischief was in his eyes.

"Oh, right, well it can be...surprising. I mean it's surprising how things can change room by room." She suddenly had the great desire to sink through the floor.

"Uh huh…"

"Well let me move out of your way. You probably need to get dressed to head to the hospital later." She stepped aside and ran her hands through her hair and smoothed down the front of her skirt and blouse.

"No, I'm not on call tonight so I don't have anywhere to be." He adjusted the towel on his waist and Anna could just barely see his muscles flex in the in the dim light of the hallway. "I can hang out all night."

Anna's mouth went dry.

"-dessert?"

"Hmmm?" She realized he was speaking to her but her brain was having a hard time concentrating on his words

"I said, 'I know you probably already ate but I bought a pint of Rocky Road on the way here and I was wondering if you wanted any dessert.' Maybe we can just sit and talk?"

"Oh, uh sure. Yes! That sounds good."

"Alright let me get out of this towel and I will meet you downstairs. You look like you had a long day, why don't you get comfortable too."

"Ok, that sounds like a plan." She noticed her voice sounded unusually high and a lot louder than she meant for it to be.

Anna straightened herself up and nodded before moving towards her bedroom at what she hoped was a casual speed. As soon as she was through the door she sank against it, willing her heart to beat slower. Once she had composed herself she moved towards the mahogany dresser and she opened the top drawer. She was thinking about Finn. She couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking only a few doors down. She was engaged in an internal struggle. Part of her longed to be held, ached for his company and nearly swooned at the prospect of being touched by him, but that side of her was at war with the part of her that had a deep need to hide how much he affected her physically.

There was an attraction there, yes. She couldn't deny that. The way she saw him look at her left her in no doubt that he felt the same way, but that didn't mean they should act on it. Anna knew her armor was wearing paper-thin. She longed to finally allow herself to come in from the cold, lonely life she had been leading and feel his warmth. She took a moment to admit the truth to herself. They were here together simply because they want to be here, it was no longer about the case or his protection. He had asked her to spend time with him and tonight it was about enjoying each others company.

Anna selected a navy blue silk pajama set from her lavender-scented drawer and quickly changed. Her fingers fastened each button starting from the bottom up leaving the top button undone. She paused and looked at her reflection in the dresser mirror, examining her silhouette. On impulse, she unbuttoned the second button of her top and was pleased with the effect. She reached for her matching robe and began to pull it on but then stopped as a memory entered her mind.

Without me or this operation, you are one step away from putting on a bathrobe and adopting a cat.

Anna decided against the robe.

Downstairs she went and met Finn in the kitchen. He was dressed in a black, v-neck t-shirt and black sweatpants. She tried not to openly stare but he looked relaxed and appealing in his comfortable clothes. Anna could feel Finn's eyes flick over her as he took in her lounging attire, pleased when his eyes lingered for a moment at her neckline. He smiled as he handed her a bowl of ice cream and Anna moved to the living room while Finn followed on her heels. She sat down on the couch with her back against the armrest, her feet tucked underneath her. Finn joined her and set himself in the middle with his feet propped up on the coffee table. The fire crackled cheerily and spread its warmth through the room. They sat savoring a rare moment in which they were together, not as agent and asset or doctor and spy, but as themselves.

"So? How was your day of protecting the free world?" He dug into his bowl with his spoon and got to work demolishing his mountain of Rocky Road.

"Good." Anna ate a spoonful of ice cream enjoying the smooth creaminess on her tongue."Got through a mountain of paperwork. Nowadays it feels like is 10% thrilling, investigative work and 90% bookkeeping."

"Sort of like my job, 1% brain worms 99% chlamydia."

Anna snorted and then laughed hard. Finn joined her. Anna had grown to covet the sound of his laugh. He didn't let himself indulge in it all that often so anytime she could coax his throaty laugh out of him was a success. She found nothing seemed to work better than her own laughter. As she watched him, Anna felt her eyes drawn to the images inked into his skin.

"You have tattoos." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"Yes, I do. Why are you surprised?"

"I don't know. I guess I just never pictured that under your three-piece suit." He quirked his eye at her and she recognized how her words sounded. "I mean, not that I'm thinking about what's under your suit. I mean...I didn't see you a someone who would trust anyone to put a needle to your skin."

"I had a buddy in med school that moonlighted as a tattoo artist to help pay his way through school. We all tried to throw him business. How about you? Do you have any?"

"No. The WSB discourages any markings that can make an agent identifiable to the enemy in the field."

"Even if you can cover them up?"

"Well depending on the type of operation, you might...need to uncover a bit."

"Oh. And you've had those kinds of missions?" He raised his eyebrows in surprise and she could feel his eyes rake over her again.

"I'm sorry, that's classified."

"Too bad sounds interesting."

"A good agent never seduces and tells."

Anna laughed and shifted her weight, she had the urge to stretch as she felt the pinpricks starting to settle over her legs. Finn noticed and motioned for her to do so as he set his empty bowl down. She hesitated for a moment and then unfolded herself. Finn reached and took possession of both her feet in his hands. He set about massaging her right foot and it took everything within her to keep from outright purring at the sensation. The feeling of his thumb stroking the arch of her foot was exquisite and suddenly felt very intimate.

They held each other's gaze unable to vocalize what was passing between them. The air seemed to crackle with the electricity.

"Hold still. Here, you have chocolate right... there." Finn reached over and ran his thumb against the corner of her mouth. He looked at her for a moment and then put his thumb to his lips tasting the sweetness he had swept from her. Anna felt her insides turn to warm liquid. She couldn't take her eyes off his mouth.

Finn moved a little closer. His arm was draped over the back of the couch and he brushed his hand against her shoulder. Now that he was close enough, he reached to finger a strand of her hair and Anna's breath caught in her chest. He curled his large hand around hers making it feel both warm and small. The kiss they had shared before Christmas was on her mind and it was clear that it was on his too.

He looked at her intently as he reached to take the bowl from her other hand and set it down on the coffee table next to his. He ran his fingers from her hair over the side of her face and down her jaw until he was holding her chin in his hand, tilting her face towards his. Anna swallowed. He was so close, the clean smell of him filled her senses. She brought her hand to rest on his upper arm, tracing the images printed there, feeling the firm muscle underneath smooth skin. With the other, she traced his bottom lip. She knew what she wanted and moved to close the distance between them.

 _BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

The sound of Finn's beeper startled them both. The spell was broken and they pulled away.

"Uh, sorry that's the hospital. Something big must be happening if they are calling me tonight."

"You need to go. Of course. I hope nothing too terrible has happened." Anna sprang up from the couch.

"I'll know when I get there. I'm sorry to have to run like this..."

"No problem. I should be getting ready for bed anyway. It's late." Finn looked at her so intently Anna felt rooted to the ground by his piercing gaze. He nodded and walked out of the living room and up the stairs.

Anna didn't know what to do with herself or her hands so she walked over to retrieve his medical bag from the table by the front door. Her hands gripped the worn leather handle tightly, echoing the grip she was trying to get on her own feelings. When Finn came down the stairs, the t-shirt and sweats were replaced with his usual slacks, dress shirt, vest, and tie. He collected his coat from the hall closet and put it on.

"Good luck!" She said as cheerfully as she could masking the disappointment she felt at their interrupted evening and what might have been. She handed the bag to him, realizing the gesture was reminiscent of a 1950's housewife sending her husband off to work. "What is happening to me," she chastised herself internally.

"Thank you." Finn took a few steps away and then turned on his heel and returned to her. He cupped the side of her face and kissed her softly on the cheek. "I'll see you later," he said into her ear, his warm breath sending shivers down her spine. His lips trailed along her hairline and she was sure she felt him nuzzle her hair, but the moment was so brief Anna was left wondering if maybe she had just imagined it. Finn turned, walked to the door, opened it and was gone.

Anna let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and walked up the stairs to her bedroom to spend another night alone with a novel. She wondered if that would ever change. She hoped someday it would.


	5. Chapter 5

General Hospital, Port Charles

"This is good, isn't it? Standing still long enough to stop running away from each other?" Anna looked at Finn

"The pleasure is all mine." He smiled. She leaned in to kiss him again and ran her hand over the side of his face.

"So? Can you stick around for a little while?" Finn enjoyed having her in the hospital and hoped to spend as much time with her as he could before she went on her next adventure and left him behind.

"I'd love to but I need to finish making my travel arrangements and I want to go over the field agent's notes before I go and I still need to pack." Anna looked at him apologetically.

"Oh ok. But you will be home later?" Finn asked with a plaintive look in his eyes. At the word home, Anna smiled. "I only have a few more patients left to see. Can I spend the evening with you?"

"Of course. I'd really like that."

"Ok, then I will I see you later then." He made a motion to stand up from the bench.

"I'm going to miss you." The words slipped out before Anna could stop them.

Finn sat back down and tilted his head as if he had misheard her. "What was that?"

She offered no further explanation and maintained her steady gaze in Finn's crystal blue eyes. He looked at her expectantly but Anna just smiled back, enjoying their game. Anna leaned in for one more kiss and then stood to head down the corridor but felt a tug on her hand pulling her back. Finn stood, pulling her body flush against his and kissed her hard before letting her go.

"I'll see you later."

Devane Manor, Port Charles

Anna walked through the door of her home, leafing through the documents in her hand, her passport, another passport that contained her alias just in case it was needed- it was always best to be prepared- her first class plane ticket and the case notes sent from her contact in Argentina, the last place Dr. Obrecht was detected. A delicious smell drifted from the kitchen. She set her purse and papers down and hung up her coat before walking towards the promise of something delicious. She walked past her little-used formal dining room and was surprised to find the table set for two with candles lit. They very rarely ate there, they usually chose to eat standing and talking in the kitchen or companionably on the couch. She was intrigued.

"Finn?" She called and walked through the door to the kitchen. She found him uncorking a wine bottle. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and there was an apron tied around his waist. Anna was amused at the sight of him. The cork made a loud popping sound as it came loose and Finn stood upright and acknowledged her presence.

"Red or white?"

"Red." She said. Finn poured and handed her the glass.

"You made dinner?"

"No, I ordered from that little Italian place next to General that you like. Chicken Piccata and roasted vegetables for you and lasagna for me. Why don't you take your glass into the dining room and I will be right out to join you."

Anna did as she was told and sat down at the table. Finn joined her and placed her artfully plated meal in front of her. She picked up her silverware and tucked in. She hadn't realized how hungry she was. They talked about the challenges he was facing at the hospital. Being down a doctor with Griffin's suspension had reverberated throughout the staff, shifting workloads and changing schedules. Anna let him know about the WSB's lead on Obrecht and her plans to start in Argentina. After dinner was done Finn emerged with a slice of lemon chiffon cake and a cup of tea. Anna felt certain there was something he wanted to discuss beyond the day to day events at General Hospital so she decided to try and get to the point.

"So what is the occasion for all of this? Besides my leaving, that is?"

"Well, I thought that this would be a good time to talk somethings over. There is something that we need to discuss."

"Really? What?"

"You asked me earlier if I was ok with you going after Obrecht and leaving me behind."

"I do recall that yes, and if I remember right, you said no."

"Correct." He countered.

"But you know I'm going anyway."

"Oh yes, I am under no illusions that I can tell you to do anything. But, since this is something that we will have contend with going forward I think we should talk about it. After all, we are involved. Right? We can agree we are involved?"

"Yes, I would say that we are involved."

"Ok good, at least we agree on that. So before you head off to bring that German-Swiss, whatever- mad scientist to justice, there are a few promises that I would like you to make or at least consider making."

Anna raised an eyebrow and took a sip of tea. "This should be interesting. I'm listening."

"Ok, first is you won't sneak out in the middle of the night."

This gave Anna pause and she was about to make a retort but stopped. She placed her teacup on its saucer. She suddenly had an image of herself frantically trying to track down Robert during one of his many disappearing acts. The recollection brought the feelings of anger and fear right back to her. How could she do that to Finn? And he without the tools or means to find out her fate. His request was fair. She slowly nodded her head and saw Finn she exhale in relief.

"And second?" She motioned for him to continue.

"Whenever possible we will spend the evening before your departure together."

Anna smiled and leaned back in her chair "Ok."

"And third, you will let me make love to you, hold you all night, and you will wake up in my arms."

Anna's heart melted a little. The thought of him wanting to spend time with her before leaving was sweet and made her smile.

"And finally, you will let me kiss you goodbye before you leave. If you can promise me these things then I can figure out how to do without you once you are gone. And, I will have a wonderful memory to hold on to if, God forbid, something were to happen to you."

She started at his words. "Nothing is going to happen to me..."

He raised his hand in the air to stop her. "Call me superstitious but I think you shouldn't say that out loud."

"You don't want me to tempt fate. Is that what you are saying? Like, in Greek myth when the happiness of mortals attracts the anger of the gods?"

"Yes, like that." Finn sorted through his memories until he found what he wanted to recall then quoted "Think not to match yourself against the gods, for men that walk the earth cannot hold their own with the immortals."

Anna tilted her head, surprised at his recitation. The words were familiar and she sought to place them. "Let me see...Homer? The Iliad." Finn nodded his head and grinned. Anna was pleased with herself for a moment but then contemplated his words.

"Sometimes my life feels like a Greek tragedy. Or maybe Gothic Horror would be a better comparison; mystery, Byronic heroes, returns from the dead, a doppelganger, even a Mad Tyrant. and me at the center, La Belle Dame sans Merci." It was her turn to quote. "I saw pale kings, and princes too, Pale warriors, death-pale were they all; Who cried—La Belle Dame sans Merci, Hath thee in thrall!"

Finn loved the sound of her voice. She made the melancholy words sound vivid and sweet as honey. The Beautiful Woman without Pity. The poem spoke of a woman with a cold heart. Is that how she saw herself?

"John Keats. Nice. Let's see, I think I know some of that one. 'I met a lady in the meads; Full beautiful, a faery's child; Her hair was long, her foot was light, And her eyes were wild.'" Finn quoted "I'd say that's fitting." And it was true, that was Anna Devane to a T. Wild, untamable, and enthralling. "Although, I have to admit Keats sounds better with your accent than mine."

Anna raised her eyebrows and lifted her teacup to salute him. "Impressive."

"Don't tell anyone. I might not have read Jane Austen but poetry is different. If I hadn't been so interested in virus mutations, who knows maybe I'd be teaching survey poetry courses to bored college freshmen. Now, if I am understanding you, you are saying you are cursed. Is that a warning?"

"Cursed, I have felt that way at times. Robert and I had two chances at love and each time I almost died. And Duke, we loved each other so much but it wasn't enough to get us through the consequences of his choices. And David, I know I don't speak about him very often, but that's because the pain of losing Leora is too wrapped up in my memories of him. Our love couldn't survive that loss."

"The pain of losing Reiko was something I wasn't prepared for and it sent me down a dark path that I didn't think I would be able to get away from. Even with Hayden, we loved each other but it wasn't easy. But now, being with you feels like the most natural thing in the world. I can't remember a time when I felt as...unburdened as the way I feel with you."

"But being with me landed you in the hospital, got you held hostage, knocked out, and kidnapped." Anna deadpanned.

"And I've never been happier. What about you? Are you happy, Anna? Do I make you happy?

Her cheeks bloomed red under his gaze. "Yes, you make me happy," she said softly.

"Good. Sometimes there are things that I want to say to you, but I don't know how to start. I feel like I just got you back. I'm not looking forward to being away from you again. I think the fact that I don't know how long you will be away is the hardest part. I'm going to miss you."

For some reason, his words took her by surprise. They were uttered with such tenderness that Anna felt all of her defenses shatter into a thousand pieces. Finn kept looking at her with a gaze of devotion that almost felt like a soft caress. Her heart was overflowing with feelings and emotions that she thought were long buried and would never be felt again. And yet here a pair of clear blue eyes were raising them from the dead. It was too much.

Anna could feel tears forming in her eyes, brimming close to the edge. She felt one escape and with that, she could feel the dam break. She tried to blink the first few drops away before she left the table and rushed from the room. She made it as far as the living room before her tears began to fall in earnest. She tried her best to stop them but the more she tried to calm herself the more frantic her cries became. Her breath caught in her throat and she gasped between the sobs.

Finn was on her heels and his hand was on her shoulder. "Anna, are you ok?"

"Yes... for the first time...in a long time I am...OK. And I don't... know what to do with...this feeling." she managed to speak haltingly through her weeping and she felt him move closer.

Her words to Griffin echoed in her ears.

I've spent my life running away from things I should have been running towards and that's because my life is dangerous and I want to protect people but if I protect them I'm removing myself from their company. I'm setting limits on love that aren't mine to set.

Love.

"I feel...I feel…I don't know... what to say…," her voice wavered and more tears fell. Finn extended his hand running his fingers through her hair and his palm cupped her cheek. Anna leaned into his touch and closed her eyes. She took several deep breaths willing herself to regain control. When she opened her eyes again, Finn looked at her tenderly.

"Shhh...You don't have to say anything. Listen, maybe the gods are watching us, but if we stay still and quiet they will grow tired and leave us alone. You don't have to say anything. No one needs to know what you feel."

His eyes bore into hers and seemed to declare his feelings without words as she desperately tried to do the same. The honesty she saw was almost blinding and she didn't know if she could bear for him to keep looking at her. She attempted to pull herself together and summon the courage to speak. She could only imagine what she looked like to him. Her eyes were red from her outburst and she was embarrassed for coming apart at the seams in such a way in front of him. For Finn's part, he was mesmerized by how beautiful she looked with her emotions rising to the surface.

Suddenly he wrapped his hand swiftly around her wrist and pulled her to him and up against his body. She felt firm arms wrap around her frame and pull her close. She didn't fight it. She didn't want to. Anna pressed her face into his neck and focused on the embrace that felt tender and comforting. Finn's hands gently stroked her hair and made soothing sounds as he pressed his lips to her temple. She looked up into his eyes. Before she could say anything he pressed his lips against hers. She struggled to breathe as he kissed her repeatedly, her lips burning with the intensity of his caresses.

To Finn, she tasted of bergamot, black tea, and a taste that he was coming to recognize as her own. Soon Anna matched his passion with her own, her hands moved to his hair, her mouth tasting his. His hands moved over her back and waist making her feel undone. They barely made it up the stairs as they took turns pressing each other against the walls of the house a frenzy of lips and hands on skin. Anna pushed him hard against the wall making the pictures swing with the force. Finn was always amazed at her strength. He knew for a fact that she could take him down to the floor with ease and any resistance he made would be ineffective. The thought excited him, and if he was willing to admit, made him nervous at the same time. But at this moment all he wanted to focus on was craving lips and her nails digging into the flesh of his arms.

Anna reached to remove his tie. Her deft fingers loosened the knot with practiced ease from the time they had spent together as lovers. She pulled at one end and the navy blue silk slid from his neck and into her hand. His shirt came next. The desire to make the moment last slowed their pace. They finished undressing each other with care. They stepped over the pile of clothes on the floor then sat onto the bed.

Finn kissed her deeply and slowly pushed her to lie back into the mattress. He stopped to gaze at her silently and she merely held his gaze before pulling him down to her. Finn pressed a lingering kiss on her lips before moving to her jaw and traveling down to the dip at the base of her throat. Her body arched in response. Finn continues to explore her body slowly with his lips. He enjoyed the soft gasps that escaped Anna as she said his name. His hands traced the curve of her hips and he moved to settle himself over her. He didn't leave her waiting long before their bodies aligned. His grip on her tightened as he felt her fingers rake down his back. They both lost themselves in each other and soon a blaze of pleasure swept through them. Finn relished the sound of his name being called out as hers was on his lips.

Exhausted from passion Anna felt Finn roll onto his back and then he reached to pull her to his chest. Comforted by the heat of their bodies, Anna's eyes remained closed and all she was aware of was her own ragged breathing and Finn's heartbeat. As her breaths slowed, the haze filling her mind dispersed. Her thoughts were cleared and she knew that she loved this man, even if she was still too afraid to say it. Perhaps he was right, maybe if she kept it in her heart they would escape the notice of the gods and they could remain like this happy and unharmed.

Anna lifted her head and looked at Finn and he looked back at her with his usual adoration. He kissed her temple and pulled her closer. She felt safe and sound and put all thoughts of their inevitable parting out of her mind. She closed her eyes again and waited for sleep to take hold, her body and mind both contented.

Devane Manor, The Next Day

The pale light of a cloudy fall sky filled the room, softly filtered by the scarlet and yellow leaves of the maple tree that grew on the other side of the bedroom window. The sight of her made Finn pause. Anna was already awake and reclined in bed with her arms extended over her head stretching her limbs. She smiled at him and an instant of recognition passes between them. His chest tightened and his heart felt as if it was pushing against his ribcage. The pounding in his chest was so intense it was as if his heart was trying to escape its bonds. He slid closer wrapping his arms around her

"Good morning." Finn's voice was still husky from sleep. It vibrated under Anna's skin in a comforting way.

"Good morning." She answered. Finn noticed that her accent became more pronounced first thing in the morning or late at night when she was sleepy. She reached for his hand, bringing it to her lips and pressing a firm kiss on the back of his hand. Her lips felt cool against his warm skin. Her mouth stretched into a smile against his palm and he was happy for a moment to have her safe and snug next to him before she went out into a cold and unpredictable world.

Finn responded by tracing the line of the gold ring that always adorned her pinky finger with his thumb and then interlacing their fingers. The bright smile on her face dimmed for a moment. Her eyes studied him quietly, studied them, he suspected. Finn submitted to her scrutiny trying to convey with his eyes all that she meant to him. He ran his fingers over her left shoulder feeling along an almost undetectable depression in her soft skin. Whoever had treated her had done an impeccable job, touch was the only way that he could tell that she had been shot and that the bullet had entered and exited cleanly. The stitches had been immaculate and left no trace.

Her body carried the marks of her profession. He did a mental inventory of all of the visible effects of her lifetime of danger. He was memorizing every speck of her. The thin white lines crossed her flesh here and there were knife wounds he was sure. If he looked close enough he could see a faint pinkness on the scalp along her hairline. Finn was certain that it was from a burn. And then there were her hands bearing scars of a different sort, needle pricks needed to control her Polycythemia Vera as if the outside world wasn't treacherous enough her own body had to betray her as well.

Perhaps the best he could do was be prepared to mend her body when needed. He looked at some of the wounds with a doctor's eye and thought he could have stitched them better. There was one on her inner thigh, raised and jagged. The placement of the scar and its appearance told its story to him. A deep splash of crimson, a belt or rope for an improvised tourniquet, a desperate push to stem the river of hot blood- too far from medical care, sutures were hastily sown in the field, maybe infection or fever followed. Finn wrapped his arms tight around her.

Anna placed her hand on his cheek and pinned him with her dark inscrutable eyes. "You can't worry," she said sternly. She managed to remind him that she is capable and independent even while lying naked in his arms. But to ask him not to worry was the same as asking him not to breathe. She continued "I will be just fine. I have everything I need." She stroked his cheek in tender consolation. He would do anything to keep her from harm yet it felt like she was the one protecting him. She always was.

His embrace tightened and he sighed contentedly. She turned in his arms and stretched herself slowly as if to prove a point, her body casually brushing against his. Finn groaned. His lips were already on her collarbone, his hands eagerly tracing her hip.

"I need to be getting ready. The car will be here in an hour to take me to the airport."

"Then I promise to be quick. Well, quick but not too quick."

"I need to shower." she protested half-heartedly, she already knew where this was leading

"Perfect, I'll join you and we will check two things off the list for this morning."

"It's a deal."

An hour later Anna had her suitcase in one hand and her briefcase in the other. The car to take her to the airport was waiting out front. Finn reached to adjust the collar of her jacket.

"Be safe." He wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her long, hard and thoroughly. When he broke away he found himself looking into brown eyes trying his best to paint the picture of her in his mind.

"I will. Please try not to worry." She ran her gloved hand against the side of his face.

"I promise to do my best." Finn opened the door and stood to watch until the car pulled out of sight. He made up his mind to head to the hospital, the best way to keep from missing her was to keep busy and Finn intended to be as busy as he could until she was back safe in his arms. He hoped it would be sooner rather than later.


	6. Chapter 6

**Devane Manor, Port Charles**

"Goodnight Anna. Don't wait up." Finn waited. He waited for her to say something, anything that would call him back into her arms and finish this dance they had started. He wanted to pick her up, carry her upstairs and spend the rest of the night extinguishing the desire that was burning through him. He just needed her to give him one sign that she wanted the same thing.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Her words hung in the air between them.

Finn looked at her. He could still feel her on his lips. He could smell her on his collar. But she was unyielding. He nodded and walked out of the living room, leaving her behind. He thought he might have detected a hint of regret in her voice, but it was most likely his wishful thinking.

He put on his coat and grabbed his keys and walked out the door with no plan on where he was going. As he opened the door to his car he thought about heading to the hospital, but the thought of having to answer questions about why he was there or making small talk with the nurses was more than he could handle. Instead, he found himself driving towards downtown. The sidewalks were filled with shoppers bustling along the streets. The storefronts were filled with light and Christmas cheer and for some unknown reason, he was drawn to it.

 **Wyndham's Department Store, Port Charles**

Finn walked into Wyndham's. The store was crowded but being lost in the crowd felt like a relief. No one would pay him any mind, he was just another shopper among many. The hum of people mixed with the instrumental Christmas music that filled the air. He walked past the displays. He picked up a pair of socks and then put them down. He held a scarf up to the light then draped it over a mannequin that was nearby.

A stack of boxes caught his eye. He picked up an electric kettle from the pile and turned the box over in his hands. He read over the information printed on the packaging. It heats water in three minutes and holds a liter and a half of water. This might be convenient. She could even keep it in her room if she wanted. He tucked it under his arm. He was suddenly struck by the absurdity of his situation. He had told her not to wait up and here he was buying her a Christmas present.

Electric kettle in hand Finn began to make his way through the throng of shopper towards the checkout counter. On his way, he walked past a glass display case and stopped when something caught his eye. It was a silver cuff bracelet. He stepped up and peered in to have closer look. It wasn't like anything he had ever seen Anna wear but for some reason, he could just imagine how it would look on her slender wrist. As he did so an image of him kissing the inside of her palm flew unbidden into his mind. His heart began to beat a faster rhythm in his chest and his mind began to replay the events of the evening. He had pulled her to him and he had done it, he had done the thing his mind wouldn't let him stop thinking about; what he had imagined himself doing more times than he wanted to admit. He had kissed Anna Devane. And he had kissed her long and hard. Most importantly, she had kissed him back.

"Can I help you, sir?" A small gray-haired woman was standing opposite of him. Her hair was cut short in a no-nonsense way and she wore a red Christmas sweater adorned with a wreath that blinked on and off. Her plastic name tag said _Hello My Name is Carol_.

"Huh? Uh...no that's ok. I was just looking…"

"Are you looking for a gift for someone special?"

"Uh..no! I mean...not that she's _not_ special. She's very special she's just not special to _me_...I mean she's special to me just not in _that_ way." Finn wished he could disappear.

The clerk looked him up and down with what he was sure was equal parts pity and disdain.

"Uh huh. You seem to be trying really hard to convince yourself of that."

"I'm sorry, we don't know each other. I don't think you know anything about my situation."

"Listen, son, I work the jewelry counter and have for the last 20 years which means I've seen thousands of men walk through these doors looking for something that sparkles and I've seen thousands of couples shopping for rings thinking they are ready for a happily-ever-after. I can tell by the cut and size of a diamond if a relationship is going to work or not. They should just give me a Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Therapy for all of the relationships I have helped repair with a gold pendant or the pre-marital advice I've had to dole out. Let me just say I've learned a thing or two over the years about what brings men to this counter."

"I know I'm going to regret this but what?"

"Men are at this counter for three reasons. Reason #1, they want to say they are sorry because they screwed up. You look like you could be a screw-up but that's not your reason."

"Thank you, I think?"

"The second reason is because they think it will impress a girl. I'm going to take a guess that that is not your game either because you are looking at silver jewelry instead of gold, platinum or diamonds. You also are carrying a modestly priced electric kettle under your arm and the way you are dressed lets me know you don't _have_ to be cheap."

"I'm not cheap!"

"I know, I just said that. That's how I know you are here for the third reason."

"I'm afraid to ask."

"You are looking at this case because you actually care about her and something caught your eye and you wanted to have a closer look. You want to get something nice for this special-girl- who-isn't-special-to-you."

Finn raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Here's the thing though, kid, I think you just need to come to terms with the fact that she is special to you even if you don't want to admit it. It would probably make things easier for both of you." She reached and patted him soothingly on the shoulder.

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Well, it would be easier if she was here too, then I could get a really good feel for your situation but since I just have you I would say you have got a case of the romantic feelings and you've got it pretty bad. So when are you going to man up and tell her how you feel?"

"If I buy this will you stop psychoanalyzing me?"

"Only if you buy the two-year replacement warranty and get it gift wrapped. And if you open a Wyndham's credit card you can get 15% off today's purchase."

"Deal."

"Ok Casanova, hand me the kettle and I'll take care of that too."

Finn paid and took his packages with him. "Thank you, Carol. I hope you have a Merry Christmas."

"I hope you grow a pair so you don't have to spend your Christmas alone."

He practically ran out of the store.

 **Devan Manor, Port Charles**

"You're back?" Anna turned in surprise at the sound of the front door closing. Finn stood in the doorway with his hands in his pockets.

"Yes, I just had an errand to run."

He looked at the boxes and paper and ribbon that lay in disarray around the living room.

"Were you looking for something?"

"Yes. I was. But it doesn't matter I couldn't find it."

Finn looked at her carefully. From the way she was chewing on the side of her mouth and pacing back and forth, he knew something was bothering her. She seemed to be filled with a nervous energy but he didn't think it had to do with him. Something must have happened but she wasn't ready to share. He walked to the foyer to retrieve his packages and handed the largest box to her.

"Merry Christmas, Anna"

"Finn, you didn't have to get me anything."

"I know but I wanted too."

She smiled and tore the paper from the box but looked perplexed when she saw the contents.

"Thank you? But I already have a perfectly good kettle. The one over on the stove. I can just turn the burner on."

"That's true but I'm betting that you will like this one anyway." He turned away to head out of the room. He didn't think he had the courage to give her the other gift. He felt certain that Carol would have called him a coward and she would have been right.

"Wait! I have something for you too." She smiled shyly, "Here."

She handed him a present he knew she must have wrapped herself due to its haphazard appearance. He carefully peeled back the tape and unfolded the paper taking care not to rip it as he opened it. He could tell Anna was growing impatient

"Oh for God's sake just open the damned thing like a normal person."

"Hey, It's my present and I will open it how I want."

The paper came off in one piece and he carefully folded it and set it aside. In his hands was a heavy hardbound book. Calfskin by the feel of it. It was old and worn by the look of it. No title was imprinted on the cover so he opened it. Printed on the page was _Anatomy: Descriptive and Surgical by Henry Gray F.R.S.; Philadelphia: Blanchard and Lea, 1859._ He looked up in wonder at her and found her eyes shining like stars.

"Is this what I think it is? This is a first edition of Gray's Anatomy." Finn was practically speechless

"The earliest editions hadn't received that title yet. I thought a doctor and surgeon such as yourself should have a copy. There are notations in the margins by a Dr. Winslow Brown, who used this book during the Civil War at Camp Dennison Hospital. Do you like it?"

"Like it? It's incredible. Thank you. This means a lot to me."

"I'm glad."

He closed the book and held it over his heart and looked at her.

"Well." she said "Merry Christmas. I'd better get this place cleaned up and head to bed. It's getting late."

"Wait! I have one more thing for you." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the white box tied with a red ribbon.

"What's this?"

Anna opened the box and lying on a soft piece of cotton was a silver cuff bracelet. It was a larger piece of jewelry than she would normally have chosen for herself but its textured surface caught the light and sparkled in an appealing way. He had picked this out for her and she was touched.

"It's beautiful. Thank you." She said so softly he almost didn't catch her words.

Finn looked at her, she was bathed in the soft glow of the Christmas tree looking at his gift. The refreshing smell of a fir tree filled his senses and the sound of the fire fills his ears. Anna was silhouetted by the light around her and he could see the shape of her dark in contrast. The quiet intimacy of the scene in front of him took his breath away. He felt what he could only describe as yearning. Finn had been mistaken. He did yearn. For an instant, he felt brave and he decided to not let the moment pass.

He walked up to her and embraced her. Her small frame fit perfectly against his larger one. Anna relaxed against him, resting against his chest. He leaned his cheek on the crown of her head, feeling the soft silkiness of her hair. He felt her arms reach around his waist and clasp together behind his back. They stood together like that, content to hold each other until the clock on the mantle began to strike. It was midnight.

Anna withdrew and Finn was certain he saw her wipe her hand hastily under her eyes.

"It's late. We should probably call it a day." She said in an overly cheery voice. She stood up straight and ran her fingers through her hair.

"We probably should. Goodnight Anna." Finn walked over to pick up a stack of towels that were still piled on one of the chairs in the sitting area and walked up to his room. A few minutes later he heard her door close across the hall. He was certain that she would get just as much sleep as he would tonight.

The next morning a groggy Finn came downstairs to find the electric kettle out of its packaging and on the counter, already filled with water and piping hot. He grinned at the sight of it and pulled down her favorite cup and saucer and a packet of earl gray tea and set it to steep. When Anna entered the kitchen he handed it to her and she set it down to let her cup cool while she moved to start his coffee brewing.

Anna picked up her tablet and he instinctively handed her her glasses. They sat down at the kitchen island while she read over the WSB's overnight notices. For his part, Finn picked up one of the patient files that he had brought home with him. Anna even read bits and pieces out loud since the security clearance was low enough. Her questions about this or that virus and how it was transmitted that she asked as she read made Finn wonder about the state of the world but he tried not to dwell on that. As she picked up her teacup and lifted it to her lips Finn saw the glint of silver on her wrist. Anna raised her eyes to his and smiled.

 **The End**


	7. Chapter 7

**The Doubletree Waterfront, Berkeley California**

She awakened slow, like emerging from the water. Her limbs felt heavy, and her heart was experiencing what she could only explain as an emotional hangover. The conversation with Robin had drained her until she felt empty and depleted and the effects she knew would linger. Anna opened her eyes briefly, then shut them again taking a moment to get her bearings. She was lying in bed in her hotel room although she couldn't remember when she fell asleep. She was naked. And she was not alone. Her head was pressed to Finn's chest; her arm splayed across his body. She didn't know how much time had passed, but a quick glance at the window told her it was late in the night. She listened to the sound of his heartbeat and felt the soft rise and fall that accompanied his even breathing.

Anna raised her head to get a better look and found herself reaching towards his face. Her hand hesitated, her palm hovered inches away from his face before she finally touched his cheek. Her fingers lingered briefly before she brushed away a loose strand of hair. She could do that now all she wanted she realized. There was no need to restrain herself from touching him now.

Anna sat up and swung her feet off the bed and onto the floor. She felt her feet touch soft cotton and she reached down to retrieve the object at her feet. It was Finn's black tank top. It had lain there after she had pulled it over his head and discarded it in her hurry to have access to his body. She felt warmth blossom on her cheeks as she remembered the feel of his skin against hers. She held it up and breathed in the smell of him. On impulse, she threaded her arms through the openings and put it on. It hung loosely on her small frame, but she felt comfortable wrapped in his clothing.

Anna felt too awake to try and rest again. Standing in the middle of the room she felt her heart racing, pushing against her rib cage wildly. There had been so many sleepless nights before, too many to count, wishing that she could curl up in his arms and be lulled to sleep by his steady heartbeat and now that the dream was reality she was held awake by an almost unbearable lightness of body and soul.

She crossed the room and drew back the curtains, taking pains to ensure he stayed surrounded in shadow. She stood and looked out at the twinkling lights of the marina. The hulls and masts of the boats were illuminated in the darkness by the lights on the docks. She pondered for a moment. Ships in the night, that's what they had been to each other these past few months. She had needed him, and he had wanted her, but they had sailed on their courses, moving farther and farther apart. And then she had almost capsized, drowning in a sea of regret and despair over choices made so long ago, a lifetime ago. And when she thought all hope was lost, Finn had folded her into his arms helping keep her head above water.

She had tried to push him away, thinking that with time and distance she would be able to lock her feelings away. She hoped that they would wither and vanish. But she had underestimated the power of her own heart. It refused to let him go no matter how much her mind told her it was for his own good. And he always refused to go anyway.

She heard sounds of stirring and then she could feel him behind her. His arm wound around her waist and pulled her close while his other hand brushed the hair from her neck and moved the strap of the tank top from her shoulder so he could lay his lips there. She shivered with delight as he nibbled at the sensitive skin. She leaned back against him; eyes closed reveling in the sensation. He sighed happily as she responded to his touch and sunk back into his embrace. Finn's hands slid over the curve of her hips to caress her thighs. Together they swayed back and forth gently mirroring the movement of the boats in the waterfront before them. There was so much to be said, but Anna didn't know where to begin so she waited and hoped that he would be the brave one.

"Now that we are finally here together I don't want to let you go."

"You don't have to." she smiled and closed her eyes, she enjoyed the feel of him wrapped around her.

"Good," he spoke softly into her hair. "Anna, I wasn't sure we would ever get here."

She turned to him, and she could feel his a gaze wash over her, warm and comforting. She traced a pattern on his chest and moved to caress the line of his jaw feeling the roughness under her fingertips. Then she raised up on the tip of her toes and gently kissed the corner of his mouth.

"I know," she whispered against his lips, "so much time was wasted because I kept pushing you away." Anna held his hands in hers. "I'm sorry for that."

"That's over now. We will just have to make up for the lost time." Finn reached around her and slid his hands down her back to grip the underside of her thighs, and he lifted her up till she was at the level of his hips. Anna gasped at the sudden change in elevation. She looked down into his eyes and wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. She crossed her arms around his neck and curled her forearms around his the back of his head, pressing her body against his.

As if in slow motion, their mouths moved toward each other and came together. Soon they were intoxicated with the taste of each other. Finn broke his mouth from hers for a gasp of air, then moved his lips along her jawline and then down her neck, and she could not contain the moan that escaped from her lips. Their bodies strained toward each other. He walked and pinned her against the hotel wall. With one arm he supported her hip, his other forearm cushioned the length of her spine, his hand cradled the back of her head. Gravity increased the friction between them. Held off the ground, Anna could do nothing except to wrap herself more tightly around Finn and hold on. With a quick fluid motion, they were together.

"Oh god, Anna..." Finn buried his face in the dark softness of her hair, and his lips brushed over her earlobe before settling once again at her collarbone. He was pleased to hear the sharp intake of breath in response. Anna was coming apart at the seams. She abandoned herself to the feeling, forgetting everything that had come before and whatever might happen after. All she could focus was on her demanding desire for him as she gave him free rein of her body. Her appetite for him had only been sharpened by their months apart. To Finn, she felt incredible. His whole body was set aflame by the feel of her. He could feel her hands moving across the muscle of his back encouraging him to continue his exploration of her. Anna soft gasps joined his huffs of exertion, quickening until finally she could not keep quiet and called out his name. The sound of her voice urged him on until her name was on lips and then the room was filled with the sound of their ragged breathing in the aftermath of their passion.

Exhausted, Anna hung her head over Finn's shoulder, and her hair fell in front of her face. She could feel his body quake from the effort to remain upright. He released her, and Anna slid to the ground on shaky legs. She leaned against him, and he held her, kissing the top of her head.

"Is it ok... to admit that I've... wanted to do that since New Years?" he panted.

"Only if it's ok to admit I've wanted to since Christmas," Anna fought to catch her breath.

They laughed together, and Finn took her by the hand led her over to the bed. He pulled back the covers so she could lay down and then settled himself beside her so he could look into her eyes and take in her beautiful smile. Anna pillowed her hands under her head and enjoyed her view of his beautiful blue eyes.

"So what happens tomorrow? When we are back in Port Charles?"

"I suppose we will be together. And I hope with no reservations."

"And Alexis?"

"I never wanted to hurt Alexis. I thought it would be best to try and move on from you. That was an idiotic move on my part."

"I deserve my fair share of the blame in that. She gave me plenty of opportunities to remedy my mistake, but I was stubborn."

"Can you say that again?"

"That I'm stubborn?"

"No that pushing me away was a mistake."

"Hmmmm...what if I just say I'm happy that we're together. Would that do?"

"I suppose it will have too."

"We should probably try to sleep. We have an early flight, and you will owe me breakfast. I have a feeling I'm going to be ravenous tomorrow."

Finn moved closer and placed an arm on either side of her. His body hovered over hers. "What if I told you I'm ravenous right now."

She arched her body up against his and bit her lip. "Then I'd say we would need to do something about that. I guess we could always sleep on the flight home." She pulled him down so his body was pressed against hers and she reached to stroke his hair.

"You have the best ideas."


	8. Chapter 8

**Dasher & Dancer's Christmas Tree Lot, Port Charles **

"I want a really tall one this year. What is the point of having such high ceilings if you don't get a tree to match them?" Anna reached to shake snow that covered the prickly riot of green bows in front of her. The crisp, sharp smell of evergreens filled her nose, awakening her senses. She thought about the contrast between the peaceful snow-blanketed world she now found herself in from the hot humid vitality of Cuba. The only thing the two locations had in common was the man who stood next to her. The man she loves and who loves her. She presses her lips and together and smiles at the sentiment.

"Do you like Noble firs or Douglas firs?" Finn helped her bat the snow away so she could have a better look.

"I like a tree with a lot of fullness. I have a lot of ornaments."

"Alright let's check out the Fraser firs then. Do you want it flocked?"

"Mmmm...no it always gets everywhere."

"How about this one?" Finn pulled a large tree from the fence and held it up for Anna to inspect thoroughly. He turned it slowly so she could see it from every angle.

"It's got a bit of a bald spot in the back."

"Ok, this one?"

She shook her head and looked around her.

"Are there any taller trees?"

Finn pointed to a magnificent one in the center of the lot. It stood at least 14 feet tall and its limbs stood out proud and full from its straight trunk. It was perfect.

"There's that one but how are we going to get it to the house? It's not going to fit in the car."

"It doesn't need to. I came to this lot because they will deliver. I should have done this sooner but with the wedding, the manhunt for Obrecht and Havana it was off my radar."

"Well, at least we'll have it for your party."

"Our party."

"I'm pretty sure It was _your_ idea. So it's _your_ party". She rolled her eyes at him but she recognized the teasing in his voice and the look of mischief in his eyes.

"I happen to feel like there is a lot to celebrate. What better way than with family and friends?"

He smiled. "What do we have to celebrate?"

"A successful mission. New Beginnings. Us. Love."

"There's that word again. And you said it first this time." Finn mentally added a mark in his favor. Of course, he and Anna had started an unspoken game to lure each other into saying the L word first each given day. He wasn't sure who was winning and it didn't really matter but he played just the same.

Anna pulled him by the lapels and kissed him soundly. She was had almost forgotten how much easier the trials and tribulations of life could be born when wrapped in the love of another. Anna was relearning how to love and be loved in return.

"Hmmm, so you won't make out at the hospital but Christmas tree lots are fair game?"

Snow began to fall and Finn loved the way the soft delicate flakes clung to her hair and eyelashes. He reached to make sure that the scarf at her neck was keeping the frostiness at bay and kissed her forehead gently. Her cheeks bloomed pink in the winter air. Anna Devane was enchanting at all times but especially so winter.

"Mmm...you nose is cold." she nuzzled hers against Finn's cheek.

"So is yours. Since we've picked out the perfect tree maybe we should go home and get you warmed up. I don't want you to catch a cold."

"I like the sound of that. But how do you suggest we do it?"

"Maybe a warm bath, followed by a warm bed? You know they say the best way to increase body temperature is skin to skin contact." Finn took her hand and kissed her gloved fingertips. She chuckled and rose up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. Her eyes were shining.

"I think I'm ready to go home. And I'll drive."

 **Devane Manor, Port Charles**

The kitchen is perfumed with the smell of citrus, vanilla, cinnamon and star anise from the wassail that was warming on the stove. Anna was busily setting out the crystal punch glasses.

"There is so much that still needs to be done. I haven't even started wrapping the party favors yet." She rubbed her hands on the front of her skirt and began mentally running through the checklist of items that needed her attention.

"Well pause a moment and give this a try." Finn handed her a glass filled with deep amber liquid, it shone almost crimson in the light. She took it from him with a smile.

"Happy Christmas!" she toasted and clinked her glass against his. Finn delighted in watching her take a sip. Her eyes fluttered closed as she savored the taste on her tongue. "Mmmm," she said and to Finn, it was the most beautiful sound in the world. He was grateful that some of her cheer had returned. Yesterday had been a blow to her there was no doubt about that. He had listened to her as she raged in her frustration at Obrecht's latest escape from justice and he had held her as her anger gave way into bitter tears of disappointment, mostly aimed at herself. She has cried for Robin, for Emma, for Duke, for Robert, for Peter and all the others she had failed to protect. Finn had held her tight and soothed her when she was receptive. She had collapsed exhausted in his arms and he had hoped that sleep would be a step in the right direction. He was pleased to see her the next morning in a much better state of mind. Once her emotions were purged she seemed to rally, determined to enjoy as much happiness as she could muster.

"So what's your deal with Happy Christmas? Is that a just a Brit thing?"

"Not just. Happy is an emotional state, while merry is a behavior. Happy Christmas expresses a wish for well-being and caring which is the spirit of the season whereas merry is something you can be with a drink in your hand and nothing else. It's impersonal. Happy Christmas is warm and intimate."

"Well, I disagree. 'Merry' does have connotations of merrymaking, which is something traditionally associated with the communal feasting. Which I believe this dinner qualifies as."

"Well, it's my party, my greeting."

"I thought this was _our_ party."

"And I thought you didn't like parties.", she countered.

"I'm finding that there are a lot of things I like if you are involved. Dancing for one, that wasn't so bad. Especially since I got to do this." He reached and pulled her close. He breathed in the smell of her hair and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist before kissing her deeply. She accepted his kiss and sighed in appreciation. Her hands slid up his lapels before she pushed him away with a laugh.

"Finn, we need to focus on getting ready."

"There are other things I'd like to focus on." He moved to reach for her again.

She giggled and evaded his grasp, staying just out of reach. "Now is not the time! Besides, the tree should be delivered soon, yeah? We are still going to have to decorate it before everyone arrives."

"What time is it supposed to arrive?"

"I don't know? What time did you arrange the drop off for?" Anna looked at him quizzically.

"Me? I didn't arrange anything?" Finn answered, confused.

"At the tree lot. I went to get the car and you ordered the tree. I saw you talking to the lot attendant." A faint flicker of panic was starting to fan into a flame.

"He was complaining about a rash on his hands so I took a look. I don't think it was contagious, just a pine tree allergy so I recommended him to an allergist to have it looked at. I thought you had already taken care of the tree." Finn shrugged helplessly.

She slapped him on the arm. "Well, this is just great. No Christmas tree for a Christmas party. And there's no time now! How could this have happened?" She put her face into her hands trying and groaned. How to fix this? She couldn't begin to sort it out.

"Listen I'll figure something out. You go finish up in the kitchen. Don't worry about the presents I can get those figured out in no time. Wrapping is sort of my thing."

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Finn, she picked up a plastic snowball ornament and threw it at him.

Finn grabbed his coat and walked out the front door of the house. He had no idea what he was going to do. So he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked around. The stately trees that lined the walkway to the house were too large to be of any use. Anyway, he couldn't begin to fathom the grief he would get from Anna if he cut one down. He surveyed the neighborhood and something caught his eye. He looked up and down the street before trotting across to get a better look.

 **A Half Hour Later**

"I found us a tree!" He held out his hands triumphantly. He was holding a two-foot tall conifer in a pot. He ran his hand over it to fluff the scrawny branches and more than a handful of needles fell onto the floor. Anna looked at it and him out of the side of her eye.

"Ok, I'm not sure that qualifies as a tree, it's more like a bush. And where did you get that? Wait a minute- that looks familiar. Did you steal that from the neighbor's porch? Tell me you didn't!"

"Hey, compared to the duplicitous actions I have been encouraged to perform by _you_ over the last year did you really think that tree theft was beneath me?"

"So international espionage is a slippery slope to petty theft is what you are saying?"

"You said we needed a tree for this party so the end justifies the means in this case, wouldn't you say? Besides Tom and Terry aren't even home for Christmas. They are visiting family in Vermont." Anna opened her mouth and stared at him then closed it again. Sometimes you just have to let things go she thought.

"Fine, set it on the table over there and I will try to get some ornaments on it. Maybe this is the Christmas tree I deserve this year." Finn set the tiny tree down and nudged the large box of ornaments with his toe. He would have to put them back in the attic. He turned to see Anna massaging her temples as warding off a headache. The look of her all flustered and discombobulated tugged at his heart. Something about this woman tied him in knots in the very best way.

"I stole something else while I was over there." Finn produced a sprig of mistletoe tied with a red ribbon from his pocket. "We missed out last year." He walked over to her and held it above her head. "Did you know that in Victorian times as man could request a kiss from a woman who was under the mistletoe and it was bad luck to refuse. They would remove one of the berries for each kiss and once they were gone all of its kisses were used up."

"Maybe that was the problem with this year. I had bad luck because you didn't kiss me under the mistletoe."

"A mistake I will never make again." Finn tilted her face upwards and placed a kiss sweetly and tenderly on her lips. They lingered in the moment before the broke apart and returned to the task of opening their home to family and friends. Come hell or high water it would be a happy Christmas this year. And hopefully for years to come.


	9. Chapter 9

**The MetroCourt Hotel, Port Charles**

"So what are you going to do?" Anna asked softly. The setting sun had given a warm glow to the room. The light filtered through the window and it was reflected in her dark eyes, eyes that he knew were searching his face for signs of what he was thinking and feeling. She was trying to read him.

Finn looked at her. He almost couldn't bear the look in her eyes, so full of compassion and concern. There was something else there too that he couldn't describe, almost a sadness that seemed rooted somewhere deep in her soul. What was he going to do, she was asking him? What _was_ there to do? His mind was reeling, caught somewhere between the present and the past but a pair of brown eyes, shining like gemstones, had brought him straight back to earth. At this moment all he wanted was to remove that heartbreaking sadness from them. He wanted her eyes to smile again. Her hand was still in his, fitted perfectly in his palm and he squeezed it in, what he hoped was, a reassuring way

"Listen, I don't need to do anything right now. There is no more to really say about it today. Thank you for being here with me. What I want to do is forget about the letter for a moment and just be with you. I want to focus on us."

He touched her hair then moved it aside so he could clasp the back of her neck. He pulled her to him, wanting to kiss her lips into a smile, but Anna placed her hand on his chest and turned her face away ever so slightly.

"What is it?" He pulled back in surprise. Anna patted her hand gently over his heart, she could feel it beating under her fingertips before she turned and took a step away. Her eyes fell on the bed. Earlier at the hospital, she had delighted in the idea of taking him back to this room and using her body to sooth away the difficulties of his day. But then Curtis had arrived with Hayden's letter and now that seemed unwise. She quickly turned and moved to look at Roxy, warming herself in the terrarium. How Anna wished for a moment she could be like her, oblivious to everything other than the small narrow life she lived, insulated from the harshness of the world.

She could feel him watching her. Anna desperately needed to avoid his gaze, but then her eyes were again on the white piece of paper lined with Hayden's feelings and her request for him to join her in Rome on the Via Veneto. A request, the significance of which Anna knew too well. Once, years ago she had inserted herself back in Robert's life, unwelcome and unbidden. Yes, the circumstances had been different but his world had been shaken nonetheless and once the dust had cleared Robin's existence had shattered it anew. She had been selfish, not thinking of Holly or the life he had built. All she had wanted was for Robert to listen to her, to understand her choices, to understand what she had done out of love. Hayden was asking Finn for the same chance.

"Finn, you have had a difficult day. Between the school presentation and this letter, your mind must be in a hundred different places right now. And I don't want to be another distraction."

"What are you talking about? You are not a distraction."

"I am if I keep you from really considering Hayden's words. You loved her, you should think about what she said. Like I said before, I'm not threatened by it." She willed her eyes to not betray her. She picked up the letter. If felt thin and fragile in her hands. She found it ironic that something so delicate could push through their bubble like a wrecking ball.

"Finn, I think I know what this moment is like for you. I wouldn't be fair for me to stand here and command your attention when your time should be spent honestly examining your feelings. To that end, I think it makes sense that we place a little bit of distance between us. Just temporarily. I am going to be busy over the next few days with my matron of honor duties and that should give you some time to process Hayden's request. Maybe by the wedding, you will have some clarity."

"Anna, I don't understand…"

"Finn I care about you but I don't want us to be together just because we both had a bad day." She turned and looked him directly in the eye and she saw him flinch ever so slightly at her choice of words. She instantly regretted it and reached out her hand to him. He folded her hands in his and she squeezed them reassuringly.

"I'm going to leave you alone for a bit. We have Jordan and Curtis's bachelorette and bachelor party later so I'll see you there, yeah? And remember, you have to be a gracious loser when we beat you, ok?" She ran her hand down the side of his cheek and placed a wide smile on her face hoping it would set him at ease. It seemed to work because he smiled back.

"We'll see about that."

"Alright then. I'll see you later." Anna winked and gave a little chuckle. Finn ran a hand through his hair and nodded. He grasped the handle and opened the door for her.

"I'll see you later, Anna."

She gathered her coat and her purse and reached to touch his face once more before she walked out. Finn stood looking at the closed door long after she had gone.


	10. Chapter 10

**Port Charles Museum of Mayhem**

Anna could see him across the room amid the falling confetti and cheers. She felt alive with adrenaline coursing through her veins. It was a feeling she never could get enough of. She smiled widely and gestured to herself in a congratulatory manner while mouthing "Winners. That was us" rather than attempting to shout over the din of the room. Finn shook his head and smiled broadly. She walked towards him laughing with a gloating look on her face while he shook his finger at her in disagreement. Without thinking about Anna walked over to him and placed her hands on his shoulders. Finn chuckled and reached to brush her hair off her shoulder. His fingers made contact with the bare skin at her collarbone and he felt a spark pass between them. Suddenly Anna remembered her plan to give him space. She swallowed and took a step back. Five minutes in his presence and her plan was already going off the rails. She steeled herself and folded her arms in an effort to create a physical barrier between them. She turned to survey the room. The love and excitement between Jordan and Curtis was palpable. She was glad for their happiness.

"I think they had fun," Finn said, his tone light.

"Yeah, I think they did."

"How are you getting home?"

"I rode here with Jordan, but Maxie offered to drop me off."

"Can I take you home?"

"I'm not sure that's the best idea. We agreed that we should take some space to process Hayden's request to see you in Rome."

"You decided that for both of us." She looked at him quickly before turning her head away.

His voice softened. "Come on, let me take you home. Please."

Anna looked at his eyes brimming with tenderness and she wavered.

"Ok." she heard herself say.

Finn brought the car to the front of the building and she avoided Jordan's knowing look as she got it. The car moved soundlessly through the empty streets of Port Charles. Anna was silent, focused on the passing lamps, each a streak of golden light, making the journey seem like a dream. She knew Finn was watching her, but this too felt like a part of the dream. A fitting end to what had turned into a surreal and perplexing day. What a difference 24 hours had made.

 _I have a wonderful life. Nothing's missing. I have you, I think._

His words puzzled her. He had had her from the moment he pulled her to him and kissed her. How could he not know that she was his? But then, she knew why, didn't she. It was because she was too afraid to tell him. Too afraid to let him know that he sits in a place in her heart that is reserved for no one else. A place he has elbowed and pushed his way into even when she had tried so hard to keep him out.

Anna realized she had grown accustomed to his presence in her life. Why she kept denying the depth of her feelings she couldn't say, but then today a letter, read aloud and pressed into her hand, made the reason clear. She had been holding her breath, and her heart, waiting for the earth to open up underneath them and for happiness to be snatched away. It always was. Would she ever be able to live and love without needing to look over her shoulder? No, she never would.

She wanted her love to be genuinely received not mistaken for an attempt to keep him or to guilt him into staying. Anna Devane will not beg to keep someone who doesn't want to stay. So she needs to let him go. Let Hayden lay her unfinished business at his feet and then, universe willing, he will return to her with the past behind them. And she would have to run the risk of him not returning. The thought caused an ache in her ribcage that made it hard to breathe, but she pushed the feeling down as she was so practiced at doing.

They had arrived at Anna's home in no time and she was awakened from her contemplation by the quiet that fell over them when the engine was turned off. She moved to open the door. The evening chill made her shiver and only now she noticed how warm the inside of the car was. She turned to look at Finn, but he remained seated, looking back at her, not wanting to exceed her permission. He had kept his word and escorted her home. But as the invasive cold air continued to wrangle with the fleeting warmth, Anna was reluctant to leave.

She felt a flash of panic. What if this was it for them? It could be the last moment before Finn went to reclaim the future he had wanted so desperately only a short time ago. It had been Hayden that he had been longing for when she had first found him alone and brooding in his hotel room. That life was open to him again and Anna knew that she would have to live with the fact that she had been the one to encourage him to revisit it.

"Can I come in just for a minute. Just so we can talk?"

She felt she should say no but looking at him made realize how reluctant she was to be alone at this moment.

"Yes." she answered.

Finn responded with a kind of half-smile. He got out of the car and was swiftly at her side, offering his hand. Anna hesitated for a second, but then let her hand rest in his as she stepped out onto the pavement. His thumb gently brushed over her skin and he held her hand in his. Even though she had been trying to place distance between them she couldn't bring herself to pull away.

They walked into the house together. Anna could just feel the warmth of Finn's hand at the small of her back as he helped usher her inside. He paused by the door for a moment as if trying to make up his mind before he took off his coat and hung it up in the hall closet. He headed towards the kitchen while Anna set down her purse and shed herself of her coat.

There was a chill in the air. Her house while large and stately did have a tendency to be drafty as well. She walked over to get the fireplace going. She spied the cashmere throw on the back of her sofa and reached to pick it up. She slung it around her shoulders and gathered it under her chin. It was a poor substitute for what she really wanted which was a pair of strong arms and a warm body to lean into.

Finn returned with her favorite teacup filled with hot water and a packet of chamomile tea on the saucer. She took them and gave a little smile before setting herself on the sofa. He was concerned about her. He always gave her chamomile when he was worried about her health or her well-being. Anna wondered if he even was conscious of it. He sat down next to her and draped his arm across the back. He didn't touch her but he was close enough that if she leaned back just a little more he could have. He was letting her dictate their proximity.

Here before her was a man who worried about her heart. Anna had guarded that heart carefully and spent the last three years trying to mend its breaking structure. But her heart had always had a mind of its own, rather ironic, considering her rational nature, and no amount of time could ease its pain, only caused the cracks to deepen. He somehow that has managed to fill the holes, making it strong again. And yet still she can't tell him that she loves him.

"Will you take Hayden's offer to meet? She's asking you for a second chance, do you think you should hear her out? Know why she left?"

"I'm not going to lie. If I had gotten this letter a year ago I might have been on a flight to Rome in a heartbeat...but now? Anyway, it doesn't matter what she has to say. There is nothing I need to hear from her."

"I'm afraid You're deflecting. Like with your father."

"My father? What does my father have to do with this?"

"Avoiding rather than confronting your feelings. You'd rather just say you've moved on than examining the situation. You loved her. You didn't want her to go. If she had stayed we would not be here together like this. There would be no us. I can't ignore that Finn and neither should you."

"Anna…", he began but she interrupted

"Your world was rocked today with a letter and mine was too. Finn I don't want to be the one you settled for. You thought she was the love of your life, you wanted to marry her, to raise a child with her.."

"None of that mattered. She still left. Those were just dreams that I had to set aside."

"Finn, I've also seen what the memory of love can do. It can turn a human being with all their flaws into a romanticized version of themselves. A sacred memory that becomes more and more removed from reality as time passes. The hurt and pain they caused fades until only the best parts of them remain. All the good times and what-might-have-beens crowd everything else out. I know this from experience."

Anna set her teacup down and the clink of china sounded loud in the room. She stood up and moved to the fireplace. Anna leaned her head on the hearth and worked to control her emotions. It wouldn't do either of them any good to dissolve into a mess of tears even if she was certain it would help relieve this terrible ache in her breast. She would not draw him to her side with pity.

Finn cornered her by the fireplace, she could have pushed past him but his body loomed over hers, firelight casting shadows on his face and his eyes reflected its brilliance. He took her breath away for a moment. Finn slowly reached his hand out and caressed the side of her hip and with the other, he cupped her face and leaned in towards to her. He was close, so very very close.

"Anna, I know we both have faced pain in our past, but I want to be with you, now, in the present. Let me. Please."

His breath was warm on her cheek and Anna closed her eyes trying to summon her resolve. The smell of him was as intoxicating as she knew the taste of him to be. She tried to put on a mask of icy indifference but her breath betrayed her. She inhaled and exhaled in a rapid and ragged manner that kept pace with the desire that flamed inside her. Despite her efforts to contain it, the tension seemed to wind tighter and tighter between them. His mouth hovered over hers. She knew if he kissed her she would be lost. Suddenly she summoned all of her strength and slipped past him.

"And I do want you Finn so much, but not like this. Not now when you have so much to think about. Please, just listen to me. Like I said before, Jordan and Curtis's wedding is two days from now. We both have a lot to think over. I think we should. We'll see each other then and hopefully, things will be more clear for both of us." Somehow she managed to keep her tone calm, not betraying the disarray of her mind. She felt as a single tear escaped and rolled down her cheek and she quickly turned her back to him hoping he did not see the dampness on her cheeks.

Finn's hands fell to his sides and he placed them in his pockets. He took a deep breath and nodded. He would do as she asked.

"Alright. I'll see you at the wedding. Goodnight Anna."

"Goodnight." She bid him farewell as they walked towards the door. She opened it for him. Finn turned and looked at her with the same heartfelt stare he did before. With a final glance, he was gone. Anna was able to close the door before the tears fell.


	11. Chapter 11

**The MetroCourt, Port Charles**

Finn sat in the dark. He had watched as the shadows in the room had grown longer and longer until there was hardly enough light left to cast them. He was perched on the chair that occupied the corner of his room at the MetroCourt with his head with his head in his hands.

Anna had asked him to consider Hayden's words and he was doing just that, however, his mind was distracted. His thoughts kept wandering back to her, wondering what she was doing. Was she thinking about him? He felt that she was. He realized this was the longest they had been apart...by choice anyway. They had spent the better part of a year at each others sides in one way or another. He took a moment to indulge in the memory of kissing her in this hotel room the day after he had declared his feelings for her. They had finally stopped denying that there was a bond between them, one that refused to break.

 _Deflecting_ , that's what Anna would say he is doing and he conjured up in his mind the scornful look she would give him if she knew that she was occupying his thoughts rather than Hayden's request to meet in Rome. But he had made himself relive every memory of Hayden: her illness, her recovery, they way she felt in his arms, the unconventional proposal, her nervous energy that always seemed to fill the room and invigorate him, the last time he saw her. He felt exhausted from the effort and worn out from the flood of tears that he couldn't keep in check. He looked at his phone. Any moment he expected to see dates and times on his screen. But so far there had been nothing.

To be honest he was no closer to coming to a conclusion on that front that he had been when he first read Hayden's words. Finn still didn't know how to process the fact that she had reached out to him after all this time. He looked over at the piece of paper folded on the bedside table next to him.

Finn picked up the letter again. He had left it untouched for the first 24 hours of his exile, but now it was growing dingy from all of his handling as he had read and re-read it so many times that he could recite it verbatim. Sitting next to it was its companion, another letter also creased, tear-stained and worn around the edges. It was the first one Curtis had given him on they day he realized Hayden was truly gone and she was not coming back to him. He knew that one by heart too. Tucked inside it was something more precious, a grainy image of a tiny life, one that was gone too soon.

Before him sat these two correspondences, one that shattered his world into a million pieces and one that was asking for the chance to repair the damage. The words of both rose into his mind and tumbled over themselves till his head felt like it was spinning.

 _I am setting you free._

 _I hope you find someone worthy of your love._

 _Forget Hayden Barnes ever existed._

 _There was a complication. The baby didn't survive._

 _I'm sorry for running away._

 _I should have trusted in you. I should have trusted in us._

 _We have unfinished business._

He alternated between being moved by her words and angry at them. He had wondered if she regretted her decision. That was one unanswered question that he had and now he knew that she did. That was satisfying somehow. What nagged at him was the fact that her letter held only her own desires and no attention was paid to where he was in his life. Perhaps she assumed his world had stopped and started with her, that he was a dragonfly in amber. That was like her, impulsive, self-focused and leaving context by the wayside.

Rome. The Via Veneto.

Finn had wanted to leave Port Charles behind and travel to some unfamiliar corner of the world, but it had been Anna who he had planned to sit next to while watching the world pass by. Even Detroit would be enchanting with her wit and charm by his side. But they hadn't gone. Her job was demanding and he knew would take her away from him often. A small taunting voice sounded in the back of his head told him that Anna was encouraging him to leave and meet Hayden because he was mistaken about the depths of her feelings for him. He pushed the thought aside.

Finn stood up and stretched his limbs, sore from remaining in the same position. He walked to the bathroom and regarded himself in the mirror. The face that stared back at him had dark circles under the eyes and hair in disarray. He looked weary and threadbare. And no wonder, he hadn't slept. He didn't sleep well when Anna was away and his insomnia had been exacerbated by all of the thoughts crowding his mind.

Finn felt like he was going mad. He passed his hand over his face. The room felt impossibly small and he felt like he was suffocating within the tight confines of his quarters. He needed an escape from these memories. He grabbed his coat and headed out the door.

 **General Hospital, Port Charles**

"Here are the charts for your next appointments. I'm so glad you decided to come in on your day off. We are all swamped. With Dr. Monroe still on suspension all of the appointments are backed up for weeks. You are really helping us catch up."

Elizabeth laid a stack on blue binders on the counter in front of him and Finn reached for the closest one to him. He opened it at quickly looked over the information. He was glad to be looking at something other than hand-written words. He was glad to be in the hospital. The soft beeps of medical equipment and the gentle murmur of patients, doctors, and nurses going about their day were soothing. This was just what he needed.

"No problem. I'm glad to be here."

"So Mr. Haskins is in Room 110 he's been complaining of dizziness. And Mrs. Rodriguez needs her blood work explained to her. It looks like she is anemic. She also loves to argue her diagnosis with doctors. She likes to internet research her symptoms so be prepared for a lot of print outs. Good luck!"

Elizabeth turned and began to walk down the corridor. He watched her go and from behind he was struck suddenly by the how much she resembled Hayden. Unexpectedly, Finn found himself calling out to her.

"Hey, Elizabeth?"

She stopped and looked at him questioningly. "Is there something else you need?"

"So, uh, I heard from Hayden. I thought you might want to know. I don't know if you two are in touch."

Elizabeth tilted her head to the side and looked surprised.

"No, I haven't heard from her but I didn't really expect to. It's been a long time now since she left town. How is she?"

"Uh, she seems good. She's out there trying to find herself it sounds like."

"So why is she reaching out to you after all this time?"

"Oh uh, she said she wants to see me. She asked me to meet up with her. She said that she thinks we have some unfinished business".

"Oh, that would be just like her."

"Why do you say that?"

Elizabeth smiled ruefully. "Well Hayden always had a knack for making things about her. Whether she meant to or not. Thinking of what she wants without taking the time to see where you are in your life first. It's probably a hard habit for her to break." There was no malice in her voice. The two of them had been able to put aside their differences and that was something Elizabeth was grateful for.

"I hadn't thought about it like that. Maybe you're right, well I just wanted to let you know I heard from her and she seems to be doing ok."

"Thanks for the update, Finn. It sounds like you have a decision to make. I wish you well on that."

She turned and walked towards the nurse's hub. Before she had gotten more than a few yards away Finn, called to her again. He trotted behind. He needed to know something.

"Hey! Elizabeth wait. I have a question for you. Do you think we could have made it work? Hayden and me?"

Elizabeth stood in thought for a moment and she seemed to be wrestling with her thoughts as if there was a tug of war happening, pulling her mind this way and that. She walked back and leaned against the hospital wall. She was too preoccupied with looking at her shoes to meet his eye.

"I'll be honest, Finn, that's a tough question. Hayden loved you and I think that she really did want a life with you, but if I'm going, to be honest, I think, no matter what, Hayden was always going to be a flight risk. It just seemed to be in her nature."

"But once all her secrets were out she wouldn't have needed to run anymore. Even though we lost the baby, she would have had me. We could have grieved together. I can't help but think about what might have been if she had stayed. Maybe the baby would have been ok and we could have been a family together."

Elizabeth tucked her hair behind her ear and folded her arms in front of her. Finn knew she was trying to figure out how to put her thoughts to him delicately.

"Finn, a baby always creates a bond between people but that doesn't mean that's enough to keep them together. And believe me, I know that better than anyone. Hayden has a difficult past and insecurities that run deep. You have no way of knowing if she could have gotten past all of that even if the baby had survived."

"I had my own share of problems and she helped me out of my dark places."

"But that doesn't mean you could save her from _her_ dark places. Sometimes love isn't enough no matter how much we wish it was. There needs to be trust, and commitment there too."

"I think what drew me to Hayden first was her fire and outspokenness. I thought she really understood herself as a person which was more than I could say for myself at the time. But the more I knew her the more I could see that it was a charade. She was just trying to figure it all out herself. But I loved her for that. I guess she is still trying to find herself. I'd like to think that I've finally figured out who I am".

"Finn, do you still have feelings for Hayden?"

"You see that's just it. I've been asking myself that over and over. And everytime the answer that I come up with is that I really wish we could have had that life we planned. The house, a family. I had a lots of dreams for us."

"I don't want to...diminish your dreams, but I am a realist. Life has made me that way. Dreams don't always translate into reality. When I thought I lost Lucky all I could think about is the life I wanted us to live and how heartbroken that I was that we would never have that chance. And then he was back and I thought we could just pick up where we left off. But it was different. Him being with me again didn't translate to a happily-ever-after for us. And we even share a child together but we still aren't a fairytale. Do you get the point I'm trying to make?"

"I do. Anna said something similar. That sometimes our memories can hold on to the good and we forget the bad." Suddenly, Finn realized what he had been mourning was not the lost past but the lost future. Not what had been but what could have been.

"Well Anna's right. Speaking of which, what about the two of you? You have been able to move on and you and Anna look happy together. I don't think I've ever seen you smile this much. Or her either." The thought of Anna's smile brought one to Finn's lips.

"Anna is probably one of the most courageous people I've ever known. It was difficult to move on after Hayden but she pulled me out into the world whether I thought I was ready or not. I'm sure there was a lot of talk about us around here at the hospital. I hope it didn't seem like rebound after Hayden because that's not how I see it."

"Finn, I don't think anyone could consider Anna Devane a rebound. She's probably as close as a person can come to dating a superhero in real life."

Finn chuckled "That's fairly accurate actually. She is the one that is encouraging me to talk to Hayden. That's just the thing...I think that I'm sure of her and what we mean to each other, but what if I'm wrong? Anna doesn't need anyone, but sometimes I feel like I might need her. It scares me you know, being vulnerable again."

"Well, It sounds like maybe you are in love, but aren't ready to admit that yet?"

Finn opened his mouth to react put no words came out.

Elizabeth raised her hands up in defense, "Listen, I just call 'em as I see 'em. And to be honest, If you and Anna are in love I like to think I might have played a small role in that."

Finn looked surprised. "What do you mean?"

"When you were here in the hospital after that drug overdose, Anna practically haunted your room. I could tell that was more than just a professional concern. She was really scared for you. I could see then that there was a connection between you two and I encouraged her to follow her feelings and to take her chance for happiness. Life is too precious to waste time being apart from people we care about."

"It took awhile for her to take your advice".

"Much too long! I lost the nurses pool on when you two would get together by a long shot. Brad won." Elizabeth started to laugh and she was happy when Finn started to laugh along with her.

"Look, I've known Anna for a long time now and yes, she is a complicated woman, but she feels strongly and she is fiercely loyal. I have to say I've never seen her light up like she does around you and to be honest I haven't seen you like this before either, not even with Hayden. I know loving her was not always easy and I know she broke your heart. Maybe it's time to let it heal and Anna seems to be helping you do that. And as for Anna I think you are healing her too."

Finn took a moment to consider Elizabeth's the things that she had shared. Then Hayden's words floated to the surface of his mind.

 _I know you will find love again and I just hope that woman, whoever she appreciates how truly special you are and how lucky she is to have you._

At that moment a fog seemed to clear from his mind. Finn realized that he had found love again and it was Anna Devane, the woman who found him charming where others found him irascible, who laughed with him, protected him and most importantly the woman who said she trusted him with her life. Elizabeth reached out and placed her hand on Finn's shoulder and gave him a comforting squeeze.

"Finn if you are curious about Hayden and her motives and it will help you put the past behind you then you should go see her, but if you feel like you've closed that chapter maybe don't go looking for answers you don't need, to questions you didn't ask."

Finn nodded. "Thanks for the talk I really appreciate it."

"Hey, don't mention it. We were almost family for a minute there and Robin and I are so close that Anna feels like family too. I was able to be there for her and Emma when they thought they lost Robin. Her happiness matters to me. And so does yours. Now go check on those patients before they come out here and yell at me".

"Aye, Aye Nurse Webber."


	12. Chapter 12

**All Saints Chapel, Port Charles**

"Oh Jordan, it's beautiful!

"Thank you. As soon as I put it on, I knew it was the one."

Jordan stood next to Anna and wound her arm around her waist. She smiled as she leaned her head on her shoulder. Anna returned her embrace and sighed as they stood looking at the frothy concoction of ivory satin and tulle that hung on the back of the dressing room door.

"If only finding the right man was just as easy." Anna deadpanned, she then broke into laughter that echoed through the stone walls of the church.

"Isn't that the truth!" Jordan laughed in return.

"I'm glad you wanted to get here early before the rest showed up. We haven't had much time to spend together lately. I've been more of an absent friend of late I'm afraid." said Anna apologetically.

"Anna, I think we both have had a lot on our plates. Me with a murder investigation and you taking down international drug cartels, I'd say it was a busy year for both of us."

"That is true. It's been a very eventful year."

"But the best friendships are the ones that stay strong even in absence. I couldn't think of anyone else I would want standing next to me while I marry the man of my dreams."

"Awww," Anna hugged Jordan even tighter, "if I had a drink I would toast to that."

"We have champagne for later."

Anna broke away and walked forward. She reached out and touched the hem of the dress, tracing the edge of it delicately with her finger. The early morning light streamed through the window and illuminated the gown, so it shimmered radiantly, brightening that corner of the room. The sight of it made Anna feel wistful, dredging up memories of warm Italian days, gray Scottish afternoons and a beautiful rose-filled garden under a blue sky. She remained lost in thought, taking a moment to honor the ghosts of her past.

"You know, it makes me think of my wedding dress, I mean my second dress. It was more like yours, a big proper wedding dress. Not like my first, that one was very simple and given to me. And the less said about my third dress, the better. I mean the dress was lovely, but the hat could have used a rethink. All-in-all that's probably more dresses than one person should want to wear in a lifetime."

"You must have been young when you first got married."

"Oh, God yes! Impossibly young. But in the WSB I felt like I had lived a lifetime by the time I was 20. By that age I had a full career, married, divorced became a mother and had to...to retire, I guess is the best way to describe it. By the time I fell in love again and married Duke I felt practically middle-aged even though I was still in my twenties."

"Well look at you now. I'd say you've found a way to turn back the clock because you and Finn are more like lovesick teenagers than the wise and jaded grown-ups you like to pretend you are."

Anna blushed.

"I don't know about that."

She stood up and folded her arms as if to ward off the chill in the room. Anna walked over to the boxes of bouquets and flower arrangements that had been delivered from the florist, fiddling with the ribbons that bound them. She was working hard to keep Finn from her mind but was failing spectacularly at it. Anna didn't know what choices he would make and that was the crux of her dilemma. How could she accept Finn's affection, revel in his presence when she wasn't sure of him.

She hesitated to fully hand him her heart because in the back of her mind she could not forget Hayden Barnes. She was making herself miserable, but not half so miserable as she would be if one day she read hunger for another woman in Finn's eyes, or regret for a chance not taken. Someone was going to suffer over this, one heart would be left out, and if it proved to be hers, then she would hold her head high and bear it although she felt tired and soul-sick if she dwelt on it too much.

Jordan noticed the change in her friend's energy and looked at her with concern in her dark eyes.

"Anna, how are you doing, really? Curtis told me about the letter from Hayden."

"It was a shock for Finn, yes."

"And for you Atoo I'm sure."

"Yes.", she admitted. "She wants to meet with him to talk things over, you know. She would like a second chance."

There was an edge to Anna's voice that did not go unnoticed. Jordan watched as Anna paced the room and twisted her hands together in agitation. Jordan though a moment and chose her words carefully, afraid that if she pushed too hard, Anna shut down. Jordan knew she was well-practiced in compartmentalizing her feelings and it wouldn't take much for her to slam the door of her heart closed.

"Hayden can want that, but her letter can't have changed the way you and Finn feel about each other."

"I don't know how he is feeling, to be honest. I encouraged him to take the time to think about his feelings. We agreed to spend a few days apart so he could understand what he wants. If he meets Hayden and can settle the past between them, then I will be satisfied. Until then I will do my best to continue my life as normal."

"Oh, Anna. That must be incredibly difficult."

"It is, but it's fair. I try to take some small comfort in that. But that's enough talk about it. I don't want to ruin your day by talking about Finn and me and our problems."

Anna quickly walked over to a small side table and opened the lid of a glossy white box that sat there. She reached in and picked up the veil that felt like gossamer in her hands from and began to smooth the creases from it.

"We should be focusing on you today," she said with as much cheer as she could muster. A smile was placed firmly on her face, one that didn't seem to match her eyes.

Jordan walked over and took the veil from her and set it aside before reaching to hold both of Anna's hands in her own. She took a deep breath knowing that what she needed to say next would not be easy even though it was necessary.

"Anna while we are still alone there is something I need to say to you. I should have said it long before now."

"What is it?" Anna knit her brows in concern.

"I need to tell you I'm sorry."

"For what?" she asked, taken aback by the serious look in Jordan's eyes

"Back in January, after Finn left the hospital and went home with you, I stopped by your house, but you weren't there. I don't know what came over me, but I warned Finn that the life you lead is one of adrenaline and excitement, but that doesn't translate well into everyday life. And I'm pretty sure that your relationship stalled because of me."

Anna just stared at Jordan. She was speechless. Jordan took the opportunity to continue hoping that she could atone for her mistake.

"I was out of line. You and Finn have managed to build a relationship on mutual respect and have supported each other through difficult times. It was none of my business, and I should have let the two of you work through things without interfering. I'm sorry Anna. I hope you can forgive me. I had no right to project my concerns onto you and your relationship. Anytime you want to go down to the gym I'll let you kick my ass if you like."

Anna slowly regained her capacity for speech.

"Jordan, thank you for telling me, but your apology is not necessary. Finn and I were doing just fine messing things up on our own back then, with or without outside help."

"But you got back on track."

"Yes, I thought so, but here we are. Trouble seems to follow us wherever we go. Or maybe it just follows me." That heart-sick ache returned and settled in Anna's throat, choking her from saying any more.

"You love him don't you."

Anna said nothing but averted her gaze. She was unable to meet Jordan's eyes, so she instead stared intently out at the perfect fall day framed by the window. Her cheeks flamed with the same color as the red and copper foliage that adorned the trees outside. Jordan looked at her friend, her eyes alight.

"Oh Anna, I'm so happy for you."

Jordan noticed as Anna's shoulders slumped slightly and she seemed to draw into herself. They stood in silence for a moment before Anna turned and was finally able to meet her friend's gaze. Jordan could detect a glassiness in her eyes that betrayed the depth of her emotions.

"That might be premature. I don't know what Finn is going to do. I haven't seen him in two days. But really it doesn't matter. This is your wedding day…"

Jordan put her hand up to stop Anna's words.

"Let me stop you right there. It does matter. Anna Devane is in love, and that is as rare as chicken teeth, as Aunt Stella might say. That deserves to be celebrated." Her words had the desired effect because Anna raised her hand to her mouth and stifled a laugh.

"Chicken teeth?"

"Listen, I know that it can be a scary thing to leap without a safety net. But if I didn't take chances, then Curtis and I wouldn't be here today. I don't want you to be so afraid of losing something that you can't enjoy what is right in front of you. You deserve some happiness, Anna. Don't make up Finn's mind before he does."

"I'm not making up is mind for him." Anna protested.

"Uh huh. I saw you leave the escape room together. Was it Finn's idea or yours to spend some time apart?"

"Mine."

"And what did he want?"

"He wanted to stay with me."

Jordan looked at Anna pointedly.

"Alright you've made your point," she said with a toss of her head.

Jordan placed her hands on Anna's shoulders and shook her gently. She smiled at her until the expression was returned. If she needed to shake some sense into Anna Devane literally, she would.

"It's my wedding day, and all I ask is that you stop hiding from your feelings and enjoy the man that has put a smile on your face for the first time in God knows how long. No keeping your distance, no pretending you don't want him. Can you do that for me? Hell, can you do that for yourself?

"Ok! Ok! Yes, I will." Anna exclaimed. Jordan was pleased to see that the hard, dull look had cleared from her eyes.

"Good. Now help me get ready."

Anna nodded. She made up her mind to take Jordan's advice and make the most of this day. She wouldn't keep him at a distance if she reached for her. She would not waste the time they did have. And if she was honest with herself, she had no choice in the matter. She ached for him. She wanted his arms around her, his eyes looking into hers. A bittersweet feeling flooded through her veins- she was happy that he will be with her today but sorry that she must hide her feelings a little longer. She loved him, and she's known this for a while now. But, she still can't tell him- not yet. Anna resolves that she will if he comes back to her.

Her moment of contemplation was broken by the sound of voices in the hallway. She is sure that it's Maxie and Lulu. Her deduction is based upon by the rapidness of the voices and exasperated tone of the exchange, even if the content of the conversation was too far away to hear. Her instinct was spot on as Hurricane Maxie burst upon the room with Lulu at her heels.

"Anna! You haven't even started to get ready!" Maxie mourned at the sight of her. Anna knew better than wait for a scolding, so she grabbed her dress and retreated to the dressing room. She would have to get ready and see what the day would bring, for better or for worse.


	13. Chapter 13

**The Haunted Star**

Finn couldn't stop looking at her. Anna stood looking out at the dancefloor at Peter and Maxie with a smile on her face. The dim light of the Haunted Star main room bathed her with a bewitching light, casting shadows on her. Her profile, elegant posture and the curve of her neck were accented in the low light, and Finn thought she looked like something out of a Pre-Raphaelite painting, ethereal and remote.

The sight of her scarlet-clad with flowers in hand, smiling directly at him as if they were the only two in the chapel had made him release a breath he wasn't even conscious he was holding. Seeing her made him recall a quote by Cicero, I shall breathe again when I see you.

Their eyes had met several times through the ceremony, lingering on each other, small smiles exchanged, and they are both relieved. Relieved that the wall between them was being taken down brick by brick with every glance. They can see each other over it now, but the path was not completely clear, not yet. Finn hoped it would be soon.

Later, Anna had taken his hand and led him to the dance floor ignoring his quips. She knew his methods and tricks to see through his feigned disinterest, and she had grown immune to them. But secretly he is glad. She was taking what she wants from him rather than remaining at a distance.

Her inquiries after Hayden and the plans to meet were the only things that took him out of the moment. The look of raw compassion that she casts on him both freezes and scalds him at the same time, as does her assertion that she will support him in his decision no matter what he chooses. He told her he's grateful for saying so, but deep down there is a faint flicker of disappointment. He doesn't expect her to ask him not to go to Rome, he knows her too well. She will always sacrifice her own happiness for those she cares for. The flicker of doubt is soon extinguished as he realized that her effort to remain neutral is a just a signal of her caring and it gave him hope. He decided to let it go for now and not take a minute of his time with her for granted. And then Anna, rose up to receive his kiss and he was further encouraged that final bricks in the barrier were coming loose.

Anna, for her part, took note of how handsome he looked in his tailored tuxedo. The pressed lines are at odds with his hair, tousled from when he last ran his hands through it. Her fingers itched to do the same. She worked to keep her features even, but she couldn't help the smile brought to her face by the picture he made in the soft light of the room.

"Listen I've been thinking about what you said…"

Anna turned quickly and placed a finger on Finn's lips.

"It's ok. You don't have to tell me now."

She resumed watching the couples on the dancefloor. To Finn, the sight of her smiling and vibrant, was the proverbial breath of fresh air, reviving him from the stupor of the last 48 hours. He just needed to be sure that she was willing to receive the attention that he so wanted to pay to her.

"Alright. Can I kiss you?"

She looked at him with an inscrutable look in her eyes, a soft smile playing about the corners of her mouth.

"Yes."

Finn bent to press his lips against hers chastely as if testing the waters. She leaned in, yielding ever so slightly. The second kiss was bolder his mouth moving more forcefully over hers. In response, Anna indulged her desire and let her hands tangle in his hair. The guests faded into the background. The third kiss reduces them both to warm liquid desire. The caress locked them in a private bubble, the wedding reduced to nothing more than a haze in the background.

"So, can I take you home?" He whispered into the shell of her ear, and she shivered as his warm breath tickled the sensitive skin of her neck and threatened to melt her down into nothing.

Anna nodded and extended her hands to him.

"Yes."

The feel of her hand in his soothed tension that he didn't realize he was holding. It is always intimate, the mingling of their hands and Finn was gratified to see Anna's eyelids close every so briefly in contentment. He was glad that she feels it too- the comfort of their hands together. Finn realized that one of the things he had missed the most over these last two days was the reassuring pressure of her hand squeezing his.

"Can I stay the night? He asked, gathering her close in his arms he placed a kiss on her temple. He can feel her nod against his chest, and they sway slightly in each other's arms, an echo of a slow dance. Even though he claimed not to like dancing, he liked the feel of her in his arms. He nuzzled his nose to her forehead smelling the bright citrus smell of her hair. Anna's fingers reached up to map the lines of his face. Her thumb traced his bottom lip, and the sensation made him grip her tighter, as quick as a reflex.

"Yes."

The word has barely escaped her lips, and he swept her up in his arms and covered her lips hungrily. The kiss was deep and satisfying; his tongue was exploring and tasting her while his hands gently tugged at her hair.

"You want to get out of here?"

"Now."

Desire washed over them like a wave, threatening to drown them both. Finn took her hand and fairly ran her out of the room. Anna barely had the presence of mind to grab her clutch. She figured her friends would forgive her for leaving the reception in such haste, in fact, she was sure that if Jordan were still there, she would have high-fived her on the way out.

Finn whisked her through the corridors of the Haunted Star away from the noise of the reception and the prying eyes of the other guests. As soon as they were in an empty corridor, Finn pressed her against the wall and kissed her with ardor. Anna responded in kind as she gripped his dark hair and her mouth met his. Once he had left her thoroughly breathless, he retook her hand and led her down the gangplank to where his car was parked. Finn took out his keys and pushed the button on his fob to unlock it. He opened the front passenger side door with a flourish and waited for her to enter.

Anna stood a moment thinking then looked at him with a wicked glint in her eye, She scanned the parking lot and observing no one quickly opened the door to the back seat of the car. She smoothly lifted her skirt and slid in. Anna scooted over the far side and patted the seat next to her. Finn stood mouth agape, his brain almost short-circuited at the realization of what she was intending.

"Are you coming? It's rude to keep a lady waiting."

Anna found herself backing up against the door of the car, her eyes heavy-lidded, as she waited in breathless anticipation for him to join her. She did not have to wait long. Soon he was seated beside her, and she was pinned against the car door by his strong arms as he claimed her lips. He drew a moan from her as she responded in kind gripping his shoulders as she tasted him.

His hands caressed her back, sliding down the silky fabric of her dress. His lips moved to the sensitive side of her neck, lingering at her exposed clavicle. All she could do was grip his jacket in frustration- she needed so much more of him, and she needed it now. She threw her head back in abandon as she revealed in the sensuality of the moment. This physical catharsis was necessary after the emotionally fraught days proceeding. Hayden, Rome, the Via Veneto she cared about none of it, only the feeling of her skin against his.

Confident fingers dipped beneath the silk of her dress sending an electric current of pleasure straight down her spine to her center. Anna let her hand slip from his hair to caress the side of his face before moving it to his collar where she ruthlessly pulled at his bowtie and stripped it from him. Finn's hands reached for the tie of her wrap gown and tugged until he had freed her from it. She shrugged it off, and her bra soon followed. Anna gripped his shoulders as his hands made good use of their access to her body.

"Please!" she gasped.

She was almost mad with desire. Finn shifted to shed himself of his jacket while she worked frantically at his shirt buttons. Her heart pounded, and her adrenaline was so high that it was interfering with her fine-motor skills. Soon the jacket and shirt were both off and joined her dress, flung haphazardly over the front seats. The rest of their clothes soon followed.

Finn pulled her up till she was astride him, his hands caressing her back down to her smooth thighs. She arched her body toward him as he called her name. Their labored gasps had fogged the windows of the car obscuring the outside as the twilight evening slipped into darkness. She felt his hands gripping her hips forcefully drawing her even closer setting a pace that would soon send them both over the edge.

The wrongness and rightness of their location only made her passion stronger. Anna lost herself in the feeling of him. She dug her fingers into the flesh of his back as she felt release claim them both. Warmth started in her core and soon radiated through her limbs to her fingertips. Anna felt her body go limp from pleasure, like a marionette with its strings cut. Finn's eyes were closed as she snuggled her face against his neck and she felt his fingers slowly caressing her back as if to calm her. She felt a surge of tenderness as she leaned against him.

"Finn...I…" Anna began to speak but then stopped. In that moment, cradled in his arms, the urge to tell him that she loved him, that she wanted him to stay with her, and leave the past in the past, was so strong in almost spilled from her lips. She only just checked herself. Not yet, she needed him to be sure. He would have to make that decision outside of the rosy afterglow of passion.

"I missed you." She continued. As he held her his head leaned on her shoulder. She smiled at the feel of his hair brushing her neck.

"I missed you too." Finn wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close, stroking her hair gently, letting this fingertips communicate the affection that he didn't have the words to say. The stayed like that for a moment, content to hold and be held.

Too soon they were occupied in collecting and re-donning only the clothing that was necessary to keep them from being arrested for indecent exposure on the drive home. Once halfway decent they clumsily climbed back into the front seats. Finn started the engine and turned towards to her.

"Anna, can I still come home with you? I...I don't want you to think that this is what I wanted. I mean this is definitely what I wanted, but I also wanted to, you know, just be together and talk. Roxy's more of the silent supportive type, and I just want to be able to have a conversation with actual words."

She nodded her enthusiastically in affirmation. She had no plans to let Finn leave her side tonight.

 **Devane Manor**

They sat on opposite sides of the sofa, tea and sparkling water in hand, phones silenced, formalwear discarded for more comfortable attire, and talked over the wedding from each of their perspectives. The more difficult conversations could keep until morning.

Their combined wit was high tonight, and Anna smiled. She had missed this over the past few days. Their words were parrying and reposting like sabers on a piste, each bout yielding a different victor. Their discourse was always invigorating. Often the more heated of their exchanges were echoed later by their bodies in the privacy of their shared bed- his or hers as the mood took them. But in those bouts, they were both victors.

"It's late now. You must be tired." Finn's thumb traced the lines of her palm.

Anna leaned forward and let her hands wander to the front of his robe.

"Not too tired."


	14. Chapter 14

**The MetroCourt, Port Charles**

It was the emptiness that drove her from the house. It used to be filled with laughter and conversation but now nothing but sound of her heels on cold tile echoed throughout the cavernous walls of her empty home. She swears she can feel the beams, the painted walls and the glass windows press down on her.

Since Finn had exited- no, been pushed from her life, the high ceilings and ample bedrooms just served as a reminder that the space served just one solitary soul. Being alone in her house had never bothered her before, but that was before she had shared it with another person, unusual circumstances notwithstanding. Now the silence was deafening and Anna felt like a trapped animal despite the sizable square footage of her cage.

So she fled. And this is how she found herself at the MetroCourt. She chastised herself. Why would she come here of all places? She refuses to admit the truth, that she secretly hopes that she will run into a pair of clear blue eyes. And then, when she does and she will wonder why she tortures herself in this manner. A wave of hot regret washed over her as she looked across the crowded dining room and saw him seated next to Alexis. Anna had said she didn't want him. The lies that were needed to keep the ones she cared for safe were always difficult to bear. And God knows she has plenty of practice

Finn watched as Anna walked in and took a seat at the bar. It had been quite awhile since they had seen each other, not since she had told him that Alexis wouldn't be stepping on her toes by pursuing a relationship with him, the sting of which is still present. But it was true, her toes looked just fine.

She looked smart in her blue silk blouse and black pencil skirt. Finn mused on how she was always full color in a sepia-toned world. Their eyes met for a moment, she turned away first. Finn continued to look at her, he couldn't help it. He wished she would turn around one more time so he could see her face. He wondered if she could feel his eyes on her because she seemed to be doing everything in her power to avoid his gaze.

Alexis took a glance behind to follow his stare. She rolled her eyes to see what had caught his attention. She should have known. She turned back to him and decided it was best to address the impeccably chic elephant in the room straight on.

"Do you want to go say hello?" She asked.

"What? Ah...no. That's not necessary."

Alexis looked at him from the side of her eye but decided to just move on. "Ok, fine, I'll let it go at that. Will you be stopping my place later?"

"Uh, no I don't think so. I think I'm going to head to the hospital to go over some of my patient files before tomorrow. I have a heavy schedule this week."

"I also have a heavy caseload this week and court most of next. It's probably best. But can I buy you lunch tomorrow?"

"It's a date. Let me walk you out."

Anna watched Finn help Alexis into her coat and kissed her on the cheek before they walked out of the room. She sighed deeply, seated herself on a stool and crossed her legs. She tapped a staccato on the underside of the bar with the pointed toe of her boot. The bartender took notice of her and approached to take her order.

"What can I get you?"

"Scotch on the rocks. Actually, make it a double."

Once the drink was set before her she picked up the cool glass and raised it to her lips to take a sip. Anna felt the comforting burn of the scotch in the back of her throat. She raised her glass to the light and looked at the amber liquid shining inside. She then tilted her head back drained it and set it down on the bar. The clink of the glass against marble was sharp to her ears. She signalled for another.

"Anna?"

Anna closed her eyes in knew who addressed her without needing to look. Great, she thought, as if this day wasn't already a disappointment she knew it was about to go even further downhill. She didn't turn her head him, but just stared at bottles lined up on the back wall of the bar.

"Valentin." she said cooly and took deep gulp of her second whiskey.

"Shouldn't you slow it down a bit."

"What are you my mother? I'm a grown woman and I'll do as I please. Go away. I really am not in the mood for one of our tete-a-tetes."

"That may be, but I was supposed to meet Nina. She's running late. So while I wait why don't I save you the embarrassment of drinking alone."

"I've never needed saving from anything." she said haughtily turning away from him.

"Fair enough. But I don't usually see you tossing back scotch like it's last call. Is something bothering you?

"No." she said morosely, her fingers traced a pattern in the condensation of her glass.

Valentin removed his black leather gloves and laid his coat on the back of the barstool before he settled himself on it. Anna finally glanced in his direction. There he sat, tailored, elegant, aristocratic. _And treacherous_ , she added to herself. The bartender stepped forward to attend to his new customer. "Can I get you something sir?"

Valentin picked up the wine list and scanned it quickly.

"Yes, I 'll have a glass of the 2012 Château La Gaffelière . Thank you."

"That's a good year." Anna acknowledged.

"I know it's a good year. It's Nina favorite so I make sure that the MetroCourt has it available."

Anna picked up the cardboard coaster from under her drink and turned it over in her hands.

"The 2012 Château Margaux is better. The La Gaffeliere has too many fig notes, making it heavy. The Margaux is bright with a raspberry undertone that is the right balance of tart and sweet."

"That's your opinion." he retorted

"That's the opinion of people who have taste."

A muscle worked in Valentin's jaw and he gripped the stem of his glass tightly. He looked at her nonplussed but he couldn't fault her assessment. The Margaux was the better choice but he would never admit that to her...or to Nina.

Anna sat back and eyed him critically. Valentin was alway found that look unnerving. Her ability to cold read him was uncanny. Valentin felt exposed and vulnerable under her cool gaze. On one hand he is fascinated by her insight, on the other he resented her for it and he felt his anger rising. He worked to control his temper. Why her inscrutable gaze could be so infuriating he couldn't say. His vexation was alway cold as marble, filling the air with palpable tension. Valentin was used to making people feel threatened or apprehensive but, Anna merely looked at him unconcerned and uncowed.

"You must have nothing better to do if you are going to sit here and let me insult your palate." Anna could see the daggers in his eyes and it amused her.

"Well one thing we learned at the Academy is that there is lots of intelligence that can be gathered over the course of an alcohol-soaked evening." His tone was curt but he had centered himself.

Suddenly, Anna smiled and set her glass down. She clapped her hands together with glee. The abruptness of her change in demeanor took Valentin by surprise and he almost sent his wineglass hurling to the floor. He was able to recover in time and set it down.

"YES!, she exclaimed. "WSB Rule # 24: Never give up an opportunity to get information meant for someone else's eyes or ears. Oh! That was one of Sean's favorites. He used to drill me on those, you know. For hours on train rides and flights on the way to a mission. I bet I could recite all 156 if I thought hard enough." She looked at the ceiling as if beginning the recitation in her heard. Valentin raised his hands to stop her.

"Well please spare me the performance." he said dryly. "What brought you here tonight? I doubt it's notalgia for the WSB days. Something else has you drowning yourself in a bottle of scotch. What could it be? Perhaps I saw the answer to that question as I was walking in. I see that Dr. Finn and Alexis are now an item. What happened? I thought you and Finn were...close."

He looked at her with a smirk. He could read her too.

"Well that shows you what you know." Anna slumped back into her seat and proceeded to swallow another mouthful of scotch, then another.

"So who decided to end it?"

"End it?" She said with bitter edge to her voice. "We never even began. It was better that way. The farther away he is from me the better for his well-being."

Valentin looked at her critically. "If I'm going to be honest-"

"But your _not_ honest." Anna looked at him pointedly. She could practically see the steam rise from him at her words. "Anyway, continue." She waved her hand to prompt him to resume his sentence.

Valentin's eyes narrowed at her interruption. His bruised feelings rose to the surface, a churning dark tide he cannot control.

"I see the game you are playing- leave him and make him want you even more. Ever the predator playing with your prey."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Finn has moved on. I'm sure I'm barely a footnote in the course of his life."

"Stop. It's unbecoming." He was in no mood for her games.

"What?" She asked insistently. He looked at her and read genuine non-comprehension in her eyes. That took him by surprise. All he saw was pure curiosity at his words. This fascinated Valentin.

"Is it possible that you really don't know? I thought it was just false modesty at best, or insincerity at worst, but maybe you really don't know."

"What are you going on about?" Anna's temper was beginning to be roused from its slumber. She had no patience for these sphinx-like exchanges that Valentin was so fond of.

"You. The way you are. The effect you have on men. Whether it's by design or not you make an impression wherever you go."

She narrowed her eyes and shot him a withering look. She dismissed his words with a wave of her hand. Valentin forged ahead.

"Let's examine things for a moment. Robert Scorpio, a career agent and notorious womanizer, married you three days after your first introduction and planned to leave the WSB behind to run away with you. Question. How does that happen?"

The inquiry took her unawares and Anna started. A voice in the back of her mind was reminding her that loose lips sink ships, but the scotch in her system was making her feel warm and comfortable despite the company. The image of a sandy-haired Australian standing is the warm Italian sun filled her mind. Anna smiled to herself at the memory.

"Dear Robert, he always thought himself so clever. I'll never forget the look on his face when he realized I had rescued the hostage and completed our mission on my own while he was asleep. And his surprise when I detonated an explosive I'd set on the DVX car that was pursuing us..." She chuckled softly to herself at the memory

"I'd say that is not a conventional boy-meets-girl scenario."

"Maybe not. But Duke was different. We met at the Policeman's Ball. That's a conventional enough setting."

Valentin folded his are and looked at her. "Why were you there?"

"I was Police Chief at the time and receiving a commendation for solving a string of murders. Duke asked me to dance." Anna knitted her brows together in thought. "Actually I had his close friend arrested and threatened to have him arrested too."

Valentin raised his eyebrows at her and was satisfied when she looked away, her cheeks flaming.

"And weren't you married to someone else at some point that wasn't named Lavery or Scorpio? How did that start out?"

"Been memorizing my dossier have you. Should I be flattered? Let's see...David. I held a gun on him and uh, he caught me breaking and entering his hotel room. I thought he was heading up a drug ring. I bugged his medical bag so I could track him.

Valentin shook his head at her sarcastically. "And they say romance is dead." he deadpanned. "And what about Dr. Finn."

"Maybe I blackmailed him...a little bit"

"Well you're not forgettable, I'll give you that. Scorpio even went after you a second time."

"I might have tied him to a post with my stockings." She said under her breath, but not low enough to escape his notice. Valentin sputtered into his wine glass

"But to be fair he was into it." She looked at him directly and unapologetically. Valentin felt a tightness at his collar that made him want to loosen his tie.

Valentin regarded her for a moment, debating whether or not to share a memory that still haunted his dreams. Perhaps the Château La Gaffelière had made him nostalgic as the scotch had done for her. His features softened as he recalled a time long past when he was a different man altogether, a different name, a different face and a different temperament.

"I remember the first time I really noticed of you. When we were at the WSB Academy I found you the common room with a first aid kit and a very nasty cut on your hip. You had a thread and needle and were trying to stitch it up yourself."

Anna grinned. Her smile dazzled "I forgot about that. I was trying to find the location of a DVX safehouse. I found it and got a knife slash for my trouble."

"You were out past curfew on an unsanctioned mission, and you refused to go to the infirmary because you didn't want to be punished. You asked me to help you. So I sewed the sutures. If anyone knew you would have been suspended at the minimum. And you begged me to keep your secret. We became friends after that."

Valentin doesn't tell her how the her shape silhouetted against the fire is burned in his memory. How the iron-rich smell of her blood, mingled with the smell of antiseptic is imprinted in on his senses. As is the sound of her sharp gasp as the needle weaved through her skin and how she took a swig from the bottle of whiskey she had pilfered from God-knows-where. She had told him of her adventure with the flair of a gifted storyteller. He had never seen anyone more alive than her in that moment.

Anna's voice broke into his memories. "It didn't matter. Agent Scheider found out anyway. I thought I was in the clear, but I got hauled in and dressed-down anyway. I never did figure out who turned me in."

Valentin paused a moment, debating his next words. But he looked at her out of the corner of his eye to gauge her response, then forged ahead.

"It was me."

"You? Why?" He registered genuine shock on her face. She had never suspected him, just as he had intended. The sincerity of her response make him feel like he owed her some sort of explanation.

"I thought it would ground you for a little while. Keep you around the Academy more."

She considered this for a moment, looking at the ice in her glass as she swirled it around and around. She set it on the bar and caught the bartenders eye and signalled for another.

"You know I should be angry with you, but actually I think I should thank you. Sean was there when received my "court-marshall" so to speak and by the end of it I was fast tracked into fieldwork. He personally oversaw my training regimen from that point on. That's how I ended up meeting Robert. So in some way I have you to thank for all the best moments in my life and in equal measure some of my worst."

"Well we're even then. You are responsible for some of my worst moments." Valentin's eyes gleamed grimmly.

Her eyes glittered back at his words and she was more amused than insulted by them.

"Oh, I don't think you'll ever let us even. Your too competitive." She reached out and poked him solidly in the chest with her finger.

"Ouch." he couldn't help saying and rubbed the tender area briskly.

"Oh, come on that can't have hurt. You're growing soft." Anna eyes lit up as an idea broke over her like the sun after a storm.

"Do you want to arm wrestle? I bet I could beat you." She said loudly.

She placed her elbow on the bar and Valentin spied the bartender looking at her with interest. One hard look from Valentin sent him scurrying away to make himself busy among the glassware. Valentin scanned the room to see how many heads were looking their direction.

"No, Anna I don't want to arm wrestle." Valentin took a moment to mentally add up how many drinks he had watched her consume over the course of their conversation.

"You're no fun." She huffed and crossed her arms.

"Well sorry if I disappointed you, but the last thing I'm going to do is arm wrestle you in the middle of the MetroCourt."

"It's because you know I'd win." She took another drink and then leaned in closer to him. Her chin resting on her hand. Her eyes were half-lidded and she lowered her voice to a gentle tone.

"You know what? It's too bad you are so despicable because we could make really good friends you know. There are very few people that have sacrificed the way we have or can understand what it was like to operate in a world of lies and deceit. You made a Faustian bargain. You traded a crooked body for a crooked soul. It's a shame."

"What a compliment." He said dryly.

"I mean it Valentin. I might not agree with you- let's be clear I _never_ agree with you, but I do think I understand you. Does anyone else really understand you?" He eyes glowed softly and all he can do is look into their depths.

Like grotesque inversion of Dante's Divine Comedy, she is Beatrice but rather that leading him to Heaven all she is doing is leading him to his Seventh Level of Hell and he knows if he continues to follow she'll leave him there with no guide to help him back.

Anna stood up and the world swam and she sat back down. She stood up more slowly steadying herself with her hand on the bar. Instinctively, Valentin reached to steady her, grasping her by the wrists.

"Whoa easy there. Ok, I think you have officially had enough. Bartender put Ms. Devane's drinks on my tab and I'll take care of the bill."

"Can I tell you a secret? Anna laid her hand on his lapel and angled her lips near his ear. He could feel the warmth of her breath on his neck. Valentin swallowed and his mouth went dry."

"What?"

"I think you could be a really good man, you know. It's in you. You just have to know when it's the right time to tell the truth. Lies need to be told sometimes, I know that, but a good man knows when to be honest. Please. Be good, Valentin."

Valentin grimiced and gripped her wrists tighter. He words rankled and he looked at her ready to lash out at her taunting. But when he viewed her, he saw no malice or mocking in her dark brown eyes. Valentin looked at her in surprise and she smiled slightly. For a moment he saw the woman who had been his friend looking at him. She appeared vulnerable, tired…and sad.

He could smell her perfume and the warmth of her palms almost scalded him through the fabric of his shirt. He felt a sharp pain as if something was piercing his heart, which is soon replaced by a dull ache. Here she is, and here he is. And she's telling him how to be the man she wants him to be. It enraged him and humbled him and a part of him wishes he could be better for her, but, dammit, she made him this way. He wondered if she could unmake him just as easily.

All of a sudden, he felt her stagger ever so slightly. He was about to ask if she was alright when Anna's hand gripped his shoulder and her other hand came to rest on his forearm. Valentin reached an arm around her waist to keep her upright. Why after all this time could he not shake her hold on him. She was a vortex and he always let himself get too close even though he knew the danger. For years the image of her had possessed him. She was Demeter the Lawbringer and he, Erysichthon, cursed by her with an insatiable hunger. The craving for both validation and vengeance consumed him and could never be sated. Desire like that swallowed the soul and left a man starving.

He heard a soft buzzing noise and realized it was his phone. He looked at it. It was Nina. He knew he should answer it, but here he was holding Anna in his arms. She was an enigma that he will always want to unravel. A puzzle he will always want to solve.

"Merde." he cursed under his breath.

"Language, Valentin." Anna giggled.

He looked at her in surprise giggling is not something he heard very often from Anna Devane and by not often he meant not since there academy days. Oh dammit all to hell!

He released her wrist and with an impatient jab of his finger he sent the call to voicemail. He then put both his arms around Anna's waist to support her. Damn her. Bless her. He didn't know which to do, but this was his lot in life. Anna Devane would always command and piece of his soul he just would have to make sure it was not the lion's share.

"Alright Anna, I think you have had more than enough tonight. I'm going to help you get home.

"I don't need your help." She protested.

"No more arguments. My driver will be at the front waiting."

He helped her into her coat and Anna leaned heavily on his arm as the made their way to the entrance of the hotel. Valentin helped situate her in the back seat of his car and after a moment's hesitation slid in next to her. Classical music reverberating through the car, she leaned her head against the window, her face pressed to the cool glass. Feeling herself descend into slumber, Anna shook her head and sat up straight, letting out a sigh.

"Sleep Anna. You'll be home soon." Valentin said calmly

She shifted herself and rested her head on his shoulder. He worked hard not to look at the chestnut locks that brushed his coat. He wondered if there was a cure for a slip of a woman who could charm, punch or shoot her way out of any situation

During the drive he took care not to wake her. She needed sleep- he knew she was dealing with her own personal demons that night, and he knew his role in them. If only she was right, that he could be a good man, but she didn't know the extent of his sins. And with any luck she would never know. Never know the depth of his betrayal.

When they reached her home instead of waking her from deep slumber, he scooped her into his arms. She would reprimand him if she knew. She stirred in his arms and mumbled "Finn, please don't go...I'm sorry" and his jaw tightens as he grits his teeth. He walked to the front door and with some careful balancing used her keys to open the front door.

 **Devane Manor, Port Charles**

The sound of a key turning the tumblers of a lock and the sight of the handle moving brought Finn's attention to the front door. He felt a moment of relief. Anna was finally home. His sojourn at the hospital had been brief. The sight of her at the MetroCourt had made him long for the opportunity to talk to her. There were so many things he missed about her. He had found himself on her doorstep and rather and wait in the cool night air for her return he had put his key to use. He didn't know why he had held onto it. Maybe because that would have seemed too final, even though he knew her decision had been final. But then again she hadn't asked for it back either.

Finn quickly made his way to the foyer, but was shocked by the sight that greeted him. Valentin Cassadine was carrying Anna in his arms, her head nestled on his shoulder and her arms slung around his neck. She appeared to be unconscious and a sudden panic in his chest swelled and engulfed him as all of the scenarios of how she got into this state flashes rapidly through his head.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER? Did you hurt her? Put her down!" Finn yelled.

Valentin bristled at the unexpected insinuations that were being hurled at him by an equally unexpected intruder. He adjusted his grip on Anna's sleeping form and turned to face his accuser.

"What did I do? I brought her home. She had overindulged on liquor tonight and was in no condition to get her here herself. She fell asleep in the way and I'm just trying to get her inside. Now excuse me!"

Valentin walked past Finn, cutting close enough to make him take a step back. Valentin laid Anna gently down on the sofa, tucked her hands under her cheek and reached for the throw that lay on the back of her couch and placed it over her. Once his task was done he turned towards Hamilton Finn. They stood facing each other, both rigid with anger.

"You can go now. I'll take care of her." Finn gestured dismissively towards the door.

Valentin scoffed derisively "You'll take care of her? Your the reason she's in the state she is. People like Anna don't lose control very often. And why are you here? Shouldn't you be with Alexis since you relinquished your claim to Anna? You know for a doctor you think you'd be less of a fool. You had a opportunity with a person of Anna's caliber and you blew it."

Finn sought to keep his temper. "For the record I didn't blow it. It was her idea not mine."

Valentin's voice dripped with disdain "Well, that just shows me how weak you really are. You don't even know how to fight for a woman, just how to let them walk away from you, isn't that right Dr. Finn? Is this bad luck or is it becoming a pattern?"

Finn's hand tightened into a fist. Finn felt like he wanted to punch something and if that something was Valentin's smug face he felt it would be worth the risk to his surgeon hands. But then again, why use firsts when words can pack just as much of a punch. Finn took a step closer, just an inch or two into Valentin's personal space and was gratified to see him lean back away ever so slightly.

"Listen, Anna is a grown woman and she makes her own decisions and if one of those decisions is to not be with me, then I will respect it even if I don't like it. Because that is what a mature person does. They respect the decisions of others instead of treating them like a commodity. Which, you know, speaking of things you treat like commodities, shouldn't you be with your wife? Or has your obsession with Anna made you forget about her?

Valentin's lip twitched almost imperceptibly and his eyes narrowed. Finn saw a look that boarderlined on murderous in his eyes.

"My wife has nothing to do with this you son of a bitch _."_

Finn knew he had struck a nerve and couldn't help the self-satisfied smile that crossed his face. It was probably a dangerous game he was playing but knowing that he could push Valentin's buttons was a good feeling.

"I know why I'm here. How about you? Maybe you could tell me a thing of two about having a thing for Anna."

"I don't have to explain anything to you. Listen I'm someone who knows a thing or two about addiction and whatever this fascination is you have with Anna shares a lot of the same qualities; tolerance, withdrawal cravings. It's all there. You need to let this go. There is nothing for you here! " Finn's voice grew louder

"I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS FROM YOU!"

"HEY! Can you both keep it down? I'm trying to sleep."

The sound of Anna calling groggily from the sofa interrupted their standoff. They both turned their eyes to her in surprise. They had both had forgotten she was even there. She still lay on sofa, eyes closed and a sofa pillow pulled over her head.

"You can keep fighting just do it a little more quietly, yeah."

Sudden she sat bolt upright. It must have been too quickly for her because she placed her head in her hands for a moment before remembering what she wanted to say.

"I know! _You_ can arm wrestle! That way you can settle you disagreement." Valentin looked at her with exasperation. Finn just looked confused. What was it about imbibing too much alcohol that brought this up?

"But fair warning Valentin, Finn's arms are...just...wow." She giggled and tried to stand. Finn bolted to catch her when he saw her waver on her feet. It was just in time and she collapsed against him. "Oops!" she exclaimed.

Valentin watched as her hand curled around Finn's upper arms and she smiled at him with a look of guileless adoration. Finn, for his part, appeared to be be scanning her form for any signs of distress or injury. She reached to smooth a lock of hair away from over his eye. At the sight of the caress Valentin felt darkness descending into the far recesses of his soul. The only solace he could take was that her heart was on display and he knew she would hate herself for it in the morning.

"I'm done here." Valentin turned and stalked towards the door.

"Grrrreat!" Anna slurred "Can you turn out the light on your way out?...It's so...bright."

Valentin stopped and flicked the switch to the living room leaving only the light from the foyer to illuminate the room. The slam of the door, strong enough to shake the foundations of the house, confirmed his departure.

Finn set about caring for Anna. He got her settled back on the couch. He felt it was best to keep her downstairs for the time being. He retrieved a glass of water from the kitchen and set it on the coffee table within reach of her. He roused her enough to get her to swallow an ibuprofen and take a sip of water. He kept encouraging her to drink until the glass was empty. When she was finished she smiled and rested her hand on his cheek.

"I miss you. But shhhh…don't say anything. You can't know, ok."

Then she was out like a light. He brushed the hair back from her face and his fingers lingered there. He missed her too, but he knew that she would forget this all by the morning and they would remain in the same state the were now in, looking at each other from a distance. Finn remained long enough to pull her boots from her feet. As he headed for the door he took his key to the house from his pocket. He set it on the foyer table. It was time to let it and her go. Then he looked at it for a full minute before picking it up again and placing it back in his pocket. He closed the door softly on his way out. He left determined to call and check on her in the morning.


	15. Chapter 15

**MetroCourt, Port Charles**

Finn placed the key card into the slot and opened the door to his room. It was dark, and Finn smiled triumphantly. Somehow he had managed to beat her here. Finn flicked on the light and threw his wallet and keys down on the table.

"What took you so long?"

Finn nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of her behind him.

"How did you get here before me?"

"Being a former police commissioner has its advantages I know the fastest routes around town and the officers know me and my car, and they kindly look the other way when I'm in the mood to get somewhere quickly. And believe me, I was in the mood."

"Well, that makes two of us."

Anna stepped closer to him, and she fingered his necktie. It was blue, a color she loved on him. Quickly, her fingers wrapped around the knot and she pulled him forward to capture his mouth with hers. Her arms were around his neck, and she was kissing him with the force of the passion running through her veins. She broke away to gasp for air.

"Sorry I had intended to take my time with you, but that idea seems to be going out the window."

"We can slow it down. Whatever pace you want."

Finn grew serious for a moment. He took her hands into his own, and Anna looked at him questioningly.

"I've been thinking. You asked me what I thought Hayden meant by 'unfinished business.' I think I know."

Anna looked at him curiously. Finn began to pace back and forth nervously. Anna took a step back waiting for him to be ready to talk about whatever was running through his mind.

"When she was sick she went into a coma. I was trying everything I could to help her, and I needed her to wake up. So, I sat next to her, and I begged her to open her eyes. I told her we had unfinished business. And she opened her eyes. I think, in her letter, Hayden was trying to remind me of that moment. Of how I called her back and she was trying to do the same thing, call me back to her."

"But you didn't want to go?"

"Why? I'm happy here with you. There is nowhere I'd rather be."

"Finn, I haven't asked, and I hadn't intended to but...what did you say to Hayden to tell her you weren't coming to Rome."

"I texted her saying that an urgent matter prevented me from making the trip."

"An urgent matter," Anna repeated.

"It was. I had to get my tickets changed, and I urgently needed to be with you."

"So that's it then. You just texted."

"No, that's not it. I wrote this. I'm going to give it to Curtis to send to her."

Finn reached into the interior pocket of his jacket and retrieved a cream-colored envelope. He held it out to her.

"A letter?" Anna asked in surprise.

"It seemed appropriate. Do you want to read it."

Anna felt unsure, and she didn't know why. Perhaps it was the thought of reading words he had intended for Hayden to hear made her feel as if she was eavesdropping, but her curiosity was peaked.

"I don't have to if you don't want me too."

"Anna, I meant it when I said I didn't want any secrets between us."

Finn put the letter in her hand. Anna carefully slid the folded piece of paper from its envelope and unfolded it. She could see Finn's distinctive scrawl covering its surface. Anna sat down on the bed, one leg tucked underneath her and Finn eased himself down next to her. He placed his arm around her waist, his need to stay connected to her overwhelmed him. Anna cleared her throat and began to read aloud.

"Dear Hayden, I hope this letter finds you well. I will be honest; these are not easy words to write. I've thought about what I would want to say to you often, but now that I have the chance I'm not sure where to begin. But now I know I need to put my thoughts into words, such as they are-"

Anna looked at Finn, and he shrugged. "It's not Walt Whitman, I'll admit it." She nudged him playfully and then looked back down at the page and continued reading.

"Let me start by saying what I think we both understand. We did love each other. Once we thought that what we had together would stand the test of time. But we found ourselves battling our own demons. We thought we could fix what the other was lacking, making each other whole again."

"And that worked for a little while. We did find a bit of happiness, and I am grateful for that. But I think we both realize that what we had wasn't sustainable for either of us, even if our baby had survived. I will never regret falling in love with you because you were part of my journey towards becoming who I am today, just as I hope I have played a part in your journey towards finding out who you want to be."

"I wasn't able to meet you in Rome as you requested, but I want you to know that I am doing well and I am happy. When you left, you wrote that you hoped that I would find-"

Anna's voice broke with emotion at the words on the page in front of her, and she brought her hand to mouth and paused. She worked to compose herself before starting again.

"I would find love again, and I am happy to tell you that I have." Anna looked at Finn, and he smiled at her and nodded.

"I had a difficult time after you left, but then I met someone, someone who was there to give me the courage to go out into the world again and made me realize that I am a whole lot braver than I ever thought I could be. With her by my side, I have built my life into something I am proud of."

Anna reached her hand out towards him, and Finn caught it in both of his. He brought it to his lips and kissed each one of her knuckles slowly.

"What I hope is that one day you will find the person who stands beside you also. You will always have a place in my memory, and I will cherish what we meant to each other. I wish you the best, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Here are the things I want for you. I want you to be happy. I want you to know how happy you once made me and, even though it pained me the day you left, in the end, I was better for it. I wish you the best. -Finn"

Anna looked up from the page with tears in her eyes. She stood up, refolded the letter and tucked it back into its envelope before setting it down gently on the table in front of her. She could feel Finn standing behind her. She turned and walked into his arms. He enveloped her in his embrace, his arms wrapping all the way around her as tight as he could.

She looked up at him and raised up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "I love you, so much," she whispered against his mouth and kissed him again, slowly and deeply.

Finn broke the kiss and looked straight into her eyes, and she felt as if he was piercing her soul. "I love you," he said fiercely, and his lips captured hers, and their kiss was long and sweet and tender. They broke apart and just looked at each other. His hand moved to her cheek and caressed the soft skin with his thumb. His eyes lingered on her face as he cataloged the planes of her face as if seeing them for the first time. Anna's cheeks blazed under his gaze. The way he looked at her made her feel naked, not in the physical sense but as if her very essence was bare and vulnerable. She shivered involuntarily but not with cold. .His hand moved to the back of her head, his fingers carefully brushing through the strands in an almost hypnotic way. Anna felt her skin tingle, starting from her scalp and running down over her limbs. Waves of warmth flowed down her body and settled in a warm pool in her core. She pressed herself forward in search of the heat of his body and their lips met. Finn's mouth was warm and inviting and brushed hers unrushed and unhurried. His lips moved to her neck and up to her ear.

"I love you." He breathed into the shell of her ear, and she was lost. His voice was like a spark that set her body humming with electricity. They crashed into each other to sink into a kiss, deep and fierce. Anna brought her hands to his face, pulling him as if she couldn't bring him close enough to her.

"Anna." he sighed and let out a soft groan as his hands shifted to trace the curve of her back. He loved her back and how he could feel lean muscle shift under her soft skin. He worked to remove the layers of clothing that prevented him from touching her flesh, while his mouth moved to spot where her neck and shoulder met. Soon her clothes were pooled on the floor, and his hands were free to enjoy all of her. Finn felt at a disadvantage and stopped to help her as Anna worked at his buttons and soon he was just as exposed as she.

Anna reached to touch his chest, and he captured her hand in his an gently kissed her palm, then her wrist, then her elbow and finally his teeth grazed her shoulder. Goosebumps covered her skin as she drew in a ragged breath. The look in his eyes was different now, it burned into her and made her knees weak. She could see his chest rising and falling as his own breath quickened. Finn smiled and returned to kiss the column of her neck enjoying the sounds of appreciation he was able to draw from her. He loved her, and she loved him. The feeling of joy Finn had was overwhelming. He needed to be with her and tell her with words and his body how much he cherished her. Suddenly he dropped to his knees and wrapped his arm around her waist resting his forehead on her navel, just wanting to hold her. She gasped in surprise, and the ran her fingers through his hair, soothing him. "I know. I know..." She whispered gently. She understood. Neither of them had expected that love would grow, but they were so grateful to have found each other.

Finn ran his hands down her legs and then stood up and picked her up in his arms. In two steps he had reached the bed and laid her down on it. He kissed down her body until he reached the crease of her hip. Anna felt like she was no longer in control of her body. Finn hovered over her and then brought his mouth back up to hers. She reached to pull him closer tangling her hands in his hair. The room dissolved into blankness around her as she closed her eyes and Anna was aware of nothing other than the feel of his mouth on her body.

Finn stopped to smile at her as he took her leg and wrapped it around his waist. He couldn't leave her wanting anymore. He held her tightly, and his eyes peered into hers, filled with emotion as they rocked together. They were enveloped in an intimacy that Anna wasn't sure she would ever feel again. Their breath quickened in tandem and Finn whispered muffled words of adoration into neck while she called his name. Pleasure broke over them like a wave and their bodies tensed and relaxed in turn. Finn pressed hurried kisses over her face and neck as she ran her hands down his back languidly. They looked at each other and said "I love you" at the same time and the sound of their laughter filled the room.

The bed was warm, and Anna and Finn nestled themselves under the comforter. Sometimes Anna wanted to lay her head against Finn's chest listening to the rhythm of his heart beat in time with his breathing. But most of the time they lay on their sides and just looked at one another. Blue eyes and brown eyes regarding each other. That's why on this night they lay taking in the view they love best.

For her, its blue irises the color of a cloudless day, creased with lines from the smile he doesn't know is on his face. For him it's her smile, so dazzling it brightens up the room with its brilliance. In this position, face to face, hands are intertwined, fingers reached to trace the planes of the face, lips leaned in to touch. Words are spoken.

For the two of them, home isn't a place. It is a person. And there were finally home.


	16. Chapter 16

**General Hospital, Port Charles** General Hospital, Port Charles

Finn stood leafing through the chart that he hadn't been paying attention to for more than an hour. He stared intently at the door of Anna's room. His pen tapped rapidly, mirroring the speed of his thoughts. The day's events had played and replayed in his mind. Anna in a wheelchair. Him, running to her side. The feel of her hands gripping his so tight he thought she might draw blood. The sound of fear and panic in her voice as she called his name that had made the blood drain from his face and limbs. Finn had never heard her sound like that before and it had harrowed him to his core. He had worried for her before, he had seen her held at gunpoint, she had been abducted and she had always remained completely in control of her situation. This was different.

Finn stepped away from the counter and began pacing back and forth in front of her door. His eyes were on the floor, tracing every crack and nick in the linoleum surface as if he concentrated hard enough perhaps he could somehow restart the day. His brow was creased with worry, giving him a headache. He reached up to massage his temples hoping to relieve the pressure but placed his hands in his pockets when it did no good.

Finn was a doctor. He had told her once that he had to keep a professional distance from his patients, that if he got too involved or emotional to could affect his objectivity and compromise his patients care. To hell with that now.

The sound of his phone caught his attention. It was a text.

Is grandma ok?

Finn's heart sank. Emma was worried and he had no answers to giver her reassurance. He thought for a minute and responded.

Don't worry. Griffin and I are taking care of her.

Finn hoped that would be enough to set her mind at ease even if he wasn't. Emma thought her grandma hung the moon and Finn thought she wasn't far off in her estimation of Anna's abilities. Finn heard the creak of a door and his head shot up. He turned his attention back to Anna's hospital room door and was grateful when he saw it open and Felicia slipped out. Immediately his posture straightened and he walked over to get the latest news. Felicia gave him a tight smile as she approached.

"How is she doing?" Finn asked concern shadowed his face.

"She's hanging in there. I brought her some things from home. I was able to get her to relax and she just dropped off to sleep. I think she's just exhausted. Sleep will do her good."

"I'm sure you're right."

"And how are you doing?"

"I'll be a whole lot better when we find some answers. Griffin sent the CT scan results to Berkeley for Patrick to look over. They both agree that surgery is the best course of action right now. It's scheduled for the day after tomorrow."

Felicia nodded. "Mac talked to Robin. She's making plans so she can come out if she needs to."

"You might as well tell her to wait and see what the surgery results are. Then we will know how...permanent her condition is. If the damage is severe then Anna is going to need all the support she can get."

"Well she has a lot of people in her corner. And most importantly she has you."

Finn looked down at his hands and tried to avoid her eyes. "You know Anna. She's fiercely independent, that's what makes her, well, her. She's not going to want to ask for help. In fact, I have a feeling she is going to resent it."

"You're probably right but if I am right about you, and I think I am, you are up for the challenge. Which is good because she will be a challenge."

"I love her. I'm here for the long haul."

Felicia smiled and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm so happy to hear that."

Finn cleared his throat. "And Robert?"

"Mac couldn't get ahold of him. I called Frisco and he said he is on a blackout assignment. He said he would get him the message as soon as he could."

"You know, I understand that Anna's job is dangerous by its nature and I've accepted that. And I know that her PV has its own set of risks. But I can honestly say that I didn't see something like this coming. And I hope I can be what she needs."

"You will be. You hang in there and call me if you learn anything more."

"Of course. Thank you for coming and I'll let you know when we know something."

Finn watched as Felicia walked towards the elevator and then returned his attention to the metal door that led to the most important person in his life. He loved her and she loved him and their lives were finally in sync and now another blow was dealt to them. He remembered Anna speaking of being cursed. Perhaps their happiness had finally drawn the attention of the gods and in their jealousy, they had blinded her and rendered him useless to help. He shook his head at his foolishness, mythological comparisons were hardly helpful at this juncture.

He spied Nurse Driscoll holding a tray and walking towards Anna's room. That would not do. Finn shuffled over quickly and placed himself between her and the door. Like a liminal deity, presiding over thresholds, gates, or doorways; he mused, allowing for one last classical indulgence before setting the analogies away. Only Anna would appreciate the reference anyway, it's one of the many things he treasures about her. He's certain Amy Driscoll would have no frame of reference.

"I'll take that." He said, reaching out for the tray. Amy clutched it closer to herself and motioned for him to remove himself from the doorway and let her pass.

"Its for Ms. Devane and I'm supposed to help her get out of her street clothes."

"Ok, great. Um, she's resting right now and it would probably be better to come back later. I'll take the tray in and I'll put hospital gown in there too. I'm sure you have a lot of patients to see, I don't mind helping out."

"Oh, it's no trouble." She moved closer and he put up his hands to stop her.

Finn decided to change tack and put as much sternness and authority as he could into his voice. "As her doctor I'm going to have to insist that you let her rest."

"But you aren't her doctor. She's Dr. Monroe's patient and she's on my rotation for tonight. And it's time to take her vitals." She reached for the door handle but Finn placed himself in the way before she could.

"You're not going in there and that's final. If I need to I'll page Dr. Monroe and get him to back me up."

"Geez, fine! But you are going to have to be the one to explain to Epiphany why I haven't signed off her chart." Amy handed him the tray and threw up her hands in exasperation.

"That is a risk I am willing to take."

Finn opened the door and walked into Anna's room. He set the tray on a side table and walked to stand next to the hospital bed that held Anna's sleeping form. She lay so still. His hand hesitated, hovering inches away from her face, before he pulled back. As he watched her sleep his nerves tied themselves into knots and seemed to settle at the base of his skull causing his head to throb with tension. His hand closed around hers, he held on tightly as if he could will her to get better. Not three hours earlier he had been arguing with her about going to Laura's event and now the light had gone out in her beautiful eyes and she was sightless.

The guilt washed over him. He should have stayed with her, insisted he go with her to meet Peter. He could have been there, maybe he could have noticed her symptoms sooner. What good was being a doctor if he couldn't help the ones that he loved? He took a moment to to center himself by reviewing her treatment plan in his head. It was easier to focus on something tangible, something her had control over. The holidays had been filled with laughter and joy and now that ,for better or worse, the Obrecht situation was behind them and they were not in any direct danger, things he never had expected to worry about again had begun to resurface anew with fresh vigor. But this time it's not the fear of losing her to to life-endangering circumstances but losing her to despair.

He pulled a stool over and watched her sleep from beside her bed. He worked to bolster his feelings as she rested and waited for the looming confrontation that would happen when she awoke, as he knew it would. He watched her chest rise and fall evenly, she had a peaceful expression on her face and it made him smile. He wanted badly to crawl into bed next to her and hold her sleeping form even though he knew how ill advised that would be. He averted his eyes and smothered those thoughts. Instead he sat and waited.

The light in the room began to wane and he didn't want to disturb her by turning on the lights. He shook his head at his own foolishness. It would not matter if the lights were on or not. Her world was dark. Still it seemed disrespectful to fill her room with light she could not see. There was no way around it, this would be a sleepless night for him. He was resolved that he would not leave her side.

The one thing he was secretly grateful for that that the lack of sleep and its telltale dark circles, would not be noticable to her. He would count these small mercies. Finn hoped he would be able to conceal his emotions from creeping into his voice. He reached to pick up her medical chart, it was only then that he realized his hands were shaking uncontrollably. Finn closed his hands into fists, his fingernails digging into his palms, as he attempted to collect himself. His chest tightened as his breath turned shallow and sounded loud in his ears. An anxiety attack was the last thing he needed so he focused hard to get his breathing under control. His eyes burned as tears rose behind them.

He heard a rustling sound and he looked to see Anna shifting restlessly in the bed. The soft chirping of the hospital instruments seemed to have disturbed her slumber. Her eyes fluttered for a bit before she suddenly started violently awake. Her hands were reaching out frantically in front of her in a panic. Her eyes darted around the room but focused on nothing. Finn caught her hands in his. He cursed himself mentally, he should have known that the first time she awoke would be disorienting. He reached to hold her hands on his own and made soothing sounds to her.

"Anna, Anna...it's ok. It's me, I'm here with you." The sound of his voice seemed to calm her slightly and she leaned back against the pillows.

"Finn! Turn on the light. I can't see you."

Finn fought back the tears that welled at the sound of her distress. He reached and ran his hand against the side of her face and she grasped it tightly.

"The light is on Anna." he said gently.

She stilled for a moment as the events of the day returned to her memory. Finn sat and watched her as she tried to make sense of it all. He could see her eyes shimmer in the low fluorescent light and her empty eyes seemed to look right past him, seeing only a deep, black abyss. She pushed Finn's hand away and wiped the tears from her eyes. She didn't want him to touch her, she was afraid that the pieces of her would fall apart fully at the faintest contact. She felt so alone in the darkness but for his sanity she didn't want him to see her weak.

"It's so dark." She brought her fingers to her eyes and rubbed as if she could clear the haze from them. But it did no good and she let them fall helplessly to her sides.

"I know. We have you set for surgery the day after tomorrow. Hopefully we will get this straightened out."

"I just want answers. You know what I am learning through this?"

"Tell me."

"I think what I am learning is that it's lonely here in the dark. You are truly alone with only with yourself and, with a past like mine to contemplate...I'm finding out that I'm not very good company." Her voice broke slightly and Finn's heart broke at the sound.

"Well then let me be your company instead."

Anna shook her head, her eyes were turned towards the sound of Finn's voice. "You didn't have to stay with me. You are probably exhausted and you need rest even more than I do."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay by you always."

"I...I don't think you should be talking in absolutes right now. You might regret it later."

"Anna-" Finn started but Anna raised her hands in front of her defensively.

"I won't have you stay by me out of pity, do you hear me? I won't have it!" Her voice rang out in the room. The tension between them was thick with unspoken fears and withheld emotions. He began to make a rebuttal but thought better of it in time to save himself from saying something he couldn't take back or that she would reject. Finn decided that a distraction was needed for both of them. He stood up and moved over the the table that held her tray and wheeled it till it was angled over her lap.

"You must be hungry." He took a spoon and placed it in her hand. The change in topic startled her into silence and Finn was pleased.

"Here I'll explain where everything is. Think of the plate like a clock, the mashed potatoes are at two o'clock and the broccoli is at six o'clock. And hold on, I'll cut up your meat for you to make it easier..." Before the words were out of his mouth he knew it was a mistake. Anna threw the utensil down in frustration.

"I don't want this. I'm not hungry. I'm not a child that needs to be fed." A frigid silence followed. Finn didn't want to cause her to retreat further into herself so they sat opposite each other, each lost in their own cold thoughts. It was like a light in his own heart was extinguished. Her eyes that had lit up at his smile or danced merrily at his deadpan jokes was veiled in the thick black cloak of darkness. It was then that Finn's composure broke. He felt his own frustration rising and spilling over.

"Anna I get it. You are frustrated and your scared. And you know what? So am I! I'm a doctor! I'm supposed to be able to remain objective around my patients but right now I am the man who loves you and wants to make you better immediately and I'm failing spectacularly at that right now."

The sound of his raised voice made Anna sit up a little straighter and seemed to break through her melancholy for a moment. She then hung her head in apology.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't take my frustration out on you. God knows you don't deserve it."

"It's Ok. Losing one of your senses is a new experience for you."

Anna contemplated his words and suddenly the past was in her mind and she could see it as clearly as if she did have sight. Did you know that I had lost my hearing before?" Finn sat down in the stool and rolled it closer to her. He was glad to hear some of the anger go out of her voice.

"No. Tell me about it."

"There was an explosion and when I woke up in the hospital I couldn't hear from concussion. I had ruptured both my eardrums. I felt pain in my ears and for days all I could hear was a rushing sound. Everything else sounded like it was coming from far far away. It was so disorienting."

"So how did you get through it?"

The doctors were able to repair the damage. It was different then. I wasn't afraid. I was just relieved when I realized I had survived, even though my life was about to go to hell, I just remember feeling so grateful to be alive. Losing my hearing didn't seem like a high price to pay deal in the grand scheme. But this is different. I haven't survived a near death experience, I was just having coffee on a normal unremarkable day and then this happened. Why? WHY!?" She brought her fist down with all her might onto the thin hospital mattress as her anger broke like thunder before a storm. Her emotions roiled like a tornado sweeping away her composure.

The sound of Finn's voice cut through her frustration. "Hey. I know this situation is a scary one but no matter what the outcome-" Anna felt a hand cover hers and she pulled her hand away quickly.

"If you say that this will make me stronger I will strangle you. Somehow I will find out a way to do it sight or no sight."

"Hey, you said that Neichzsche was helping my bedside manner."

"Well that is before you tried to use it on me. What good am I going to be to anyone now?"

"Are you kidding? This is coming from the woman who could tell where our kidnappers had taken us with a bag over her head and shoved head first into an van. And you are also the same womans who found Obrecht because of sound of a few cars and some cannons."

Finn smiled as he saw Anna's sightless eyes roll at his comment. He decide to move along to another task that needed to be done.

"I'm sorry to say but you have to get into a hospital gown so you can be readied for tests tomorrow. Now, I can call Nurse Driscoll in to help you or I can be the one to assist. Or I could help you." Finn held his breath, waiting to see what answer she would give. He feared she would she continue to push him away. After what seemed like an eternity, Anna held out her hand to him and he took it gratefully and pressed his lips to her fingers.

"I don't want anyone but you here right now." she said so softly he could barely hear her words.

Compassion washed over Finn. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around her, relieved when she didn't pull away but instead gripped him so tight he almost couldn't breathe. Finn sighed and ran his fingers through her hair smoothing it back from her temple as a he gently kissed her along her hairline. He willed her to be calm. Her fingers reached to trace the lines of his face. The tip of her index finger ran down the slope of his cheek. She was reading his face like Braille , the pads of her fingers floating delicately over his skin. They then trailed all over his forehead, cheekbones, down the bridge of his nose and her thumb felt along the curve of his bottom lip. Her fingers were remembering his features, filling the small gaps in the picture of him she had imprinted in her mind. She tried to remember his smile, his eyes and all the other looks with her touch.

When Anna's fingers reached his eyes he closed them at let her run them over his eyelids and brows. Then she let them brush back the hair from his forehead, she knew that it would have fallen over his right eye as it always did.

Finn's face softened with compassion for the woman in front of him. He wanted to kiss her but he worried that she would pull away. He took a deep breath before speaking.

"I think we should get you ready. I have your gown right here." Anna acknowledged his statement with a nod of her head.

Finn's hands moved to the tie of her shirt and pulled the strings until they came loose and her eased it off her shoulders. Anna pulled the straps of her bra down and slid them over her arms. Finn carefully reached around and undid the clasp and drew it from her body. She held her arms out in front and he threaded her arms through the opening of the gown and tied it at the back His hands then moved her her the button of her trousers and he undid it quickly and she slipped out of them, sitting down so he could finish pulling them off. She remained perched on the edge of the bed as he carefully folded her things and placed them neatly in the plastic bag that was meant to receive them. A faint smile played around the corner of Anna's lips as she could see him being so meticulous in her mind's eye. Now that they were cohabiting again she had to remember to pick her towels up off of the floor and put her shoes in the closet, especially now that they shared the master bedroom, something they had not done the first time. The thought of their living situation in light of her condition sobered her and Finn could change in her demeanor immediately. He needed to keep her talking. To try and draw out her feelings. He decided that a direct approach would be best.

"Do you want to talk about what you are scared of? It might help to get it out and into the open."

"I...I'm not sure I can." Anna's voice sounded small and she wrapped her arms around herself protectively. Finn knew he would have to break the ice, even if it meant they both broke through and floundered for a bit.

"Well then how about I go first. I'm afraid that I won't be able to help you and you will end up being another person I let down. I'm afraid I won't be what you need. I'm afraid that you are going to try and push me away for my own good again. I'm afraid you are going to close off yourself to me. I'm afraid that I'm going to lose you and I love you so much the thought of you not being in my life is excruciating."

Finn saw her hand feeling around the bedclothes seeking his. He took it and interlaced his fingers with hers. Anna's blank eyes stared ahead and she took a deep breath.

"I'm afraid that I will hold you back from living your life. I'm afraid to need to rely on you and have you resent me for it. I'm afraid that I won't be Anna Devane anymore, that I won't know who I am. I'm afraid that I won't be the woman you fell in love with. I'm afraid of not being able to see the faces of my loved ones. I'm afraid of all the beauty that I will miss out on in the world. I'm afraid I'll take my anger out on you and I can't promise that I will go through this situation gracefully."

"Listen Anna, not too long ago I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life, I let you walk away from me. I didn't fight for you or for us when I should have. I was lucky that it turned out alright in the end. But I'm not going to repeat my mistake. This is new territory for both of us. I think that right now just laying our cards on the table is a good first step. And we will just take each moment and decision as they come and we will do it together. One step at a time ok?"

Anna nodded slowly and angled her head downward as if she was trying to avoid his gaze even though she could not see his eyes on her. She could still feel them watching her. She sighed deeply. "At least there is a silver lining for you in all of this."

"What's that?" Finn asked in surprise.

"You won't have to worry about dancing again. I'm in no condition...to lead. I don't know that I'll ever really dance again. Not like I used to anyway."

With that Anna's composure crumbled and she placed her face in her hands and her tears began to fall in earnest. Finn's heart shattered into a million pieces as the implications of her words reverberated through his brain. She thought that the loss of something she held so dear would make him relieved. As if her blindness released him from an unwanted task. Suddenly all of the jokes he had made about not wanting to dance made him feel ashamed and callous. An idea took hold and he reached down and removed his shoes and placed them under the hospital bed.

Anna inclined her head towards the sound, as if she was trying to decipher his movements. She worked to take the reins of her emotions and keep them in check. But she was emotionally exhausted and even her training was not enough to help cover feelings of loss that bubbled inside. She felt Finn tug on her hand in an effort to get her to stand.

"Come here."

"Why? What are we doing?" Anna held her other hand out in front of her to keep balance.

"Do you trust me?" Finn's voice was low and rough in her ear like sandpaper over silk.

"What...?" She stood up on her feet carefully. Anna felt confused again, but her face contorted in shock at what she heard next. Suddenly, the slow sultry strains of a Cuban guitar floated in the room. The gentle rhythm flowed through her and she stood in stunned silence and what he intended dawned on her.

"I've been listening to this on my phone since we got back from Havana. I guess I just wanted to remember our trip. Now, I'm not an expert by any means, but I did have a pretty good teacher."

She could feel Finn's arm wrap around her back, sure in its intention. His thumb traced a circle on the bare skin of her back, exposed by a gap in the hospital gown. She felt a hand grasp hers and guide it to rest on his shoulder. She could feel the smooth fabric of his vest under her fingertips. Underneath she could detect the firm muscle stretching under the material of his suit. She could smell his aftershave, clove and sandalwood, remnants of the shower they had taken together that morning. She remembered the feel of her skin against his, it seemed like a lifetime ago.

Anna felt Finn bend his head closer until his cheek rested against hers. The stubble of his goatee was rough against her face, but it was a feeling she welcomed. The feeling of something so familiar grounded her. She inched closer, allowing herself to ease into his embrace. She could feel the heat of him through the layers of wool and cotton that were between them.

She felt the nudge of his dress-sock clad feet against her bare toes and she took the hint and rocked back slightly on her heels so that balls of her feet rested lightly on top of his. They began to move together to the music, the contact allowing her steps to follow his. Muscle memory took hold and even without sight she still nudged him this way and that as they swayed. She would always lead.

"Ok I'm going to spin you. Are you ready?" She nodded and he turned her slowly keeping his fingers at her hip to steady her. When she faced him again a smile creased her face and the impact of it on his soul was not diminished by the blankness in her eyes. There was a Balm in Gilead and she was it. He brought his lips to hers and kissed her tentatively at first but then he felt her lips part and he pulled her close and kissed her deeply. Anna responded by placing her arms around his neck and savoring the taste of him. They continued to hold and caress each other, swaying to the music. She realized that for somethings sight was not a requirement and enjoying Finn's company was one of them. Anna decided that, come what may, she would take the small blessings where she could where she could find them. And with that thought in mind she lifted her chin upward to let him kiss her again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Devane Manor, Port Charles**

It was after midnight when Finn finally dragged himself through the door and kicked it closed behind him. All he could think about was his desire to take a shower and wash the long hours of General Hospital off his skin and his soul. It had been a hell of a day, but the prospect of crawling into bed next to Anna had kept him going through the hours of patient consultations, prescriptions, scrub-ins, and charts. He had imagined pulling her into his arms half asleep and burying his face in her hair and drifting off into oblivion. He was happy to be home. Home. This was their house together now. No deception, no games, just two people choosing to build a life together. Toothbrushes on the counter, shopping lists, arguments over the thermostat, coffee and tea in the morning, drycleaning, dishes; Finn loved every moment of it. He even loved her over protective family and how they had welcomed him into their unwieldy clan with open arms.

Stepping into the foyer, Finn was surprised to find the house ablaze with light. He walked into the living room to find Anna sitting on the couch with her hands on her knees staring at something in front of her with extreme concentration. If she heard him behind her, she took no notice. Intrigued Finn walked toward her to decipher what she was doing. As he moved closer, he could see what held her attention. Sitting on the coffee table in front of her was her gun.

"Anna-?" He began, but she raised a finger to her lips to motion for him to be quiet. Finn stopped and watched as she continued to sit in silence. Finn noticed that every muscle in her body was tense. She looked as tight as a coiled spring.

BEEP!

The sound of a phone alarm pierced the air, and Anna reached forward and grasped her gun and drew it off the table. Her hands moved like lightning as she smoothly rotated the safety lever on the left side of the slide. She pointed the firearm towards the wall and removed the magazine by pressing the release button behind the trigger. It ejected readily and slid into her palm. She slammed it down onto the table. She pulled back the slide and tilted her head to the side as she looked into the chamber. She held the pistol firmly in one hand and braced the trigger guard with her index finger. With her other hand, she pulled down the front of the spring-loaded trigger guard, pressing it sideways to prevent it from springing back into the frame.

Anna pulled the slide all the way back until it unlocked from the slide rails and the and she lifted it off the end of the frame then eased the slide all the way forward and off the front end of the gun. Soon it was lying next to the magazine of the table. She extracted a spring from the front end of the barrel. Once the parts of the gun were laid out in front of her, she just as quickly to begin to reassemble the Walther PPK by reversing the steps that she had just taken. She had just taken the magazine in hand and was preparing to slam it into place when several loud beeps emanated from her phone.

"Damn! Damn! Damn!" she cursed loudly. She pushed the clip into place with the palm of her hand and then pounded her fist on the coffee table in frustration.

'Hi honey, how was your day?" Finn asked amused.

"I almost beat my record. But I was distracted." She started the process of taking her gun apart once again but with slower motions but no less purposeful.

"Is it often that you are going to find yourself facing an adversary with your gun in pieces? Wouldn't it just make more sense to have another gun ready while you cleaned the other?"

"For someone who won't touch one, you sure act like you are an expert."

Finn watched as she turned to pick up her gun cleaning kit. The briefest flicker of pain passed over her face as she reached. It had not escaped his attention.

"Anna, are you ok?" The question was out right away.

"I'm fine." she opened the case and began the process of cleaning her field weapon. Her eyes met his briefly, and she could see that he was skeptical of her truthfulness. She returned to her work but could still feel his eyes on her.

"It's nothing more than a muscle spasm in my shoulder" she responded to his unspoken question. "Don't worry about me."

"What is it from? Have you been overdoing it at the gym?"

"There is no such thing as overdoing it." She arched her brow at him.

"Well, you are obviously in pain. I'm a doctor, so I'm going to try to determine the mechanism of injury. It's one of the annoying consequences being in love with a doctor."

"Duly noted. I'll have to remember to find someone in a different profession for the next time I fall in love." She stopped to hold her shoulder and attempted to stretch it out. She started to massage the side of her neck down towards her elbow.

"Let me have a look." He took a step towards her.

"That's not necessary."

"Something must have happened that you are embarrassed about if you won't tell me about it or let me look at it. Spill it."

"Chase is preparing to teach a women's self-defense course because of the recent attacks. He asked me to help him decide which skills he should go over. Once we sorted that out, he asked if he could practice some of his grappling moves with a more...seasoned opponent."

" Is Chase still alive?" Finn realized that his brother probably got more than he bargained for with Anna as a sparring partner.

"Uh, more or less. You might want to check on his ribs tomorrow though. Just as a professional courtesy if nothing else."

"I will since I know what it is like to be knocked on my ass by hurricane Devane. But it looks like he must have got the best of you at some point."

"Well, I wouldn't say that. He wanted to learn some Krav Maga moves that I picked up when I worked with the IDF. He just is more solid than he looks and when I threw him over my shoulder, I felt a twinge. I'm sure it will sort itself out in a few days."

Anna finished her task and placed her gun in its case and locked it. She knew Finn didn't like it when she left it laying around, so she had taken to putting it away when it wasn't needed. And there was no need for him to know about the 357 revolver that she kept concealed under her side of the bed in case of emergencies. A WSB agent could never be too careful.

Anna walked over to the sideboard in the living room and poured herself a glass of scotch. She hoped that the alcohol would dull the pain a bit. She had no intention of admitting that a young, green detective had given her any trouble. Finn was looking at her closely, searching for signs of discomfort, She made sure she showed none. She knew it was late but suddenly the prospect of a hot bath to soothe the pain away seemed like a good idea. She picked up her gun case and made her way upstairs. Finn followed her and watched as she disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

The sound of running water concealed her gasp of pain as she sank into the bathtub. The scalding water seemed to do nothing to touch the pain that was building in her shoulder or ease the knots in her neck.

Anna finally emerged from the bathroom and expected to see Finn in bed and sleeping. She hoped to slip in beside him and retire for the night and let the Tylenol help the pain subside. But instead, Finn sat on the edge of the bed unbuttoning his shirt. As soon as he saw her, he stood up and slipped the gray fabric from his shoulders and held it out to her. She couldn't help but smile at the gesture. They both knew that her favorite loungewear was his dress shirts, especially when they held the scent of him on the collar. And Finn never got tired of seeing her clad in his clothing. She took a moment to admire his naked torso and then she did her best to hide her discomfort as her arm moved to slip into the sleeve, but she could feel his eyes on her sensing ever gesture.

"It still hurts doesn't it?" He said matter-of-factly

"I'm fine Finn. I just need some rest, and I'm sure it will sort itself out by morning."

"Why don't you just admit it and let me help you. Is it a stiff upper lip thing? I actually know quite a bit about pressure points and how to relieve tension. You don't mind when I put my hands on you any other time. Why is this different?" He looked at her pointedly, and Anna was ashamed when her body betrayed her by blushing. He walked closer and extended his hand towards her. Anna tensed, anticipating his touch but his hand remained hovered above her left shoulder. She knew that her reluctance for him to attend to her injury was nonsensical, but to her this was different. It seemed a sign of weakness which unsettled her.

"I just don't like to see you in pain Anna," Finn said gently, his voice was soothing as if he was trying to keep her from fleeing. "Let me help you."

She felt the throbbing in her shoulder keeping time with her heartbeat, and that was coupled with the look of love and concern in his clear blue eyes. She could feel the heat radiating from his outstretched hand, and it held the promise of relief.

"Alright." She conceded.

Finn hid his feeling of triumph and instead moved closer. He gently swept her hair from her sore shoulder and shifted it to the other side. His finger reached to unfastened the top three buttons of the shirt and pulled it down to expose her shoulder. Anna couldn't help the goosebumps that covered her bare skin. She could feel his broad palm covering the base of her neck, using warm, gentle pressure. She released a breath she didn't realize she was holding. His thumbs began kneading her muscles, finding her pressure point. She gasped and then sighed deeply when he found it. She suddenly can't remember why she was so reluctant for him to help her. Unfortunately, old habits die hard.

"Go ahead and take deep breaths in and out. In and out…" The roughness of Finn's voice was almost hypnotic, and his fingers continued to tease the tension from her back. Anna sighed and rolled her head to the side. His fingers found a particularly sensitive set of nerves, and she groaned in appreciation. She could hear the rate of Finn's breathing increase at the sound she made. She smiled and closed her eyes so she could focus on the sensation. A warmth was coursing through her bloodstream, and she wished his hands would continue moving over the rest of her body. She felt her entire body soften under his touch, melting like snow under his warm hands. He hands finally stopped and rested on her shoulders. The pain was gone, but her desire for his touch was greater than ever.

"I can write a prescription for some muscle relaxants if you want."

"No thank you. I think you are just what the doctor ordered." She sounded tranquil and felt at peace.

Finn's arms encircled her waist, and she didn't object as he brought her closer. She turned in his arms and laid her head on his shoulder. They lay down facing each other. The room was quiet, and the restorative magic of Finn's hands had made Anna feel as if she was somewhere suspended between dreaming and waking. The only thing keeping her tethered to earth was Finn's smile as he looked at her. She snuggled closer and kissed just underneath his jaw, then wound her fingers tight in his hair and pulled him to her lips. It felt so good; he felt so good. She pulled back to look at him again.

"I promise to be better at this. At letting you take care of me. It's not my first impulse to ask for help."

"Or your second, or your third." Finn chuckled softly. She swatted at his shoulder playfully, and he caught her hand in his and interlaced their fingers together "But don't worry I won't give up."

"Good." She squeezed his hand and then traced the lines of his palm gently.

"I have tomorrow off. What do you say to our just staying in bed all day and only emerging to forage for food." Finn moved closer to her and drew her to him, so her head rested on his chest.

"Even better why don't we just order in and then we never need to leave the house, and then you won't have to endure my cooking."

"I would never have made you cook. I know better."

"That sounds like the perfect day to me."

Warmth and contentment flowed through her and Anna, washing away all of her cares and concerns. Finn sensed as she relaxed in his arms and breathing became steady and even. He kissed her hairline and whispered "I love you." and was happy to see the sides of her mouth curl up before she drifted off to sleep, her mind and body at ease. For the first time in a long time, the path in front of them was clear, and Finn couldn't wait to see what the future held for them. Things could only go up from here. Finn closed his eyes and let rest find him. It was good to be home.


	18. Chapter 18

**Anna and Finn's Manor**

The room was silent except for the faint sound of Robert and Anna's rapid-fire exchange happening in the kitchen. He strained to listen for a moment and he smiled to himself. It sounded as if whatever they were discussing was less quarrelsome than Sonny Corinthos. He'd never really seen anything quite like Anna Devane and Robert Scorpio. Two people, who in one moment could almost share the same brain and then fight like cats and dogs the next. Finn knew better than to get into the middle of them but he couldn't deny they were entertaining to watch. It was clear there was a deep loyalty and understanding between them that only a lifetime of shared experiences, both heartwarming and heartbreaking, could produce. And, Finn could appreciate the subtle territorial nature that Robert displayed where she was concerned. Robert Scorpio would suffer no fool when it came to Anna Devane's happiness. Finn was certain he could reassure Robert that he was up to the challenge of loving a woman as layered as Anna. Somehow loving this complicated woman was the most uncomplicated thing in the world. Her bravery was astounding and he drew strength from it. If she could face this situation with resolve, then he would rise to the occasion also. He took a moment to indulge in the memory of their last kiss, the feel of her hand on his face and the softness of her hair. The sound of heels on tile and an exasperated sigh announced her return to the room. Finn watched as Anna walked back into the room and perched herself on the back of the sofa and crossed her legs. Like always, she had his full attention.

Finn tried to redirect his thoughts by picking up book and leafing through the dusty pages, but all he could focus on was the long line of her neck. Anna tilted her head to the side while looking at the stack of books piled on the table next to the chair Finn was settled into. She leaned forward to take a closer look at the titles etched into the spines of the thick medical textbooks. As she did Finn couldn't help but notice how the angle, combined with the low cut of her blouse, gave him a clear view of her. Finn swallowed and struggled to ignore the soft curve of her breast tucked into her black, bra but he was failing. Finn did his best to prevent images of her from pouring into his mind but this was a game he was not going to win.

"Ahem." Finn's attention was captured by the sound of Anna clearing her throat. He dragged his eyes away from her decolletage and looked up into her eyes. She had caught him staring so blatantly at her and she arched her brown warningly at him. But, the smile on her lips let him know the attention was not unwanted.

Anna stood up and walked towards the window, looking out at the violet sky as it slowly turned navy. Soon, the stars would be out. She could still feel him watching her. She smiled at the warm feeling spreading from her heart through her limbs, yet Anna felt guilty in a way, letting her emotional state get in the way of an investigation. She knew she needed to focus on the task at hand. Finn's concern for her state of mind always left her feeling buoyant but the sensation of his lips on hers and his hand on the back of her head had woken up her whole body. She knew from the way he was looking at her he felt it too. She turned back around and when their eyes met Anna inhaled slowly as the air grew heavy with the desire that blossomed between them.

Finn's eyes were bright and she could read hunger and want flickering in his clear blue irises. She knew her's were reflecting the same feelings. To say the last few days had been bewildering, was an understatement. Between the hospital stay, her sojourn with Peter at the police station, Robert's return, and Kevin's strange behavior, they hardly had a moment to themselves. Sneaking by with only a clasp of hands here and there or a quick peck on the lips to keep physical contact. Their need for each other had been held in check. But now the dam was breaking from the weight of one lingering kiss and it threatened to carry them away.

Anna walked back and resumed her position on the edge of the couch. She crossed her legs and they gazed at each other. Impulsively Finn reached out and ran his finger up the smooth skin of her calf to the sensitive area behind her knee. His hand made its way just under the edge of her skirt and her breath hitched sharply.

"Good work finding Cabot's name. Now we are getting somewhere. It looks like you aren't useless after all."

The sound of a loud gruff voice from the kitchen sent them scurrying apart. Robert entered the room but didn't seem to notice their flustered appearance. Anna turned away and brought her hand to the base of her neck then smoothed her skirt nervously. Finn ran his fingers through his hair and picked up the nearest tome and began to leaf through it quickly.

"Thanks…I guess," Finn answered.

Robert clapped his hands together and rubbed them vigorously. "Alright well let's get back to it. We found one Arthur Cabot reference and there are bound to be others." Robert reached for the book at the top of the pile, it was a mottled green color and it was unclear if that was by design or time itself had left its mark on cover.

They all sat in silence, books in hand, the only sound was that of pages turning. Finn found himself looking back at Anna. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and reached to massage the back of her neck and rolled her head from side to side as if trying to relieve the tension in her muscles. His fingers itched to knead the weariness from her. He looked back at the page, but the printed words wouldn't come into focus. Finn snapped his book shut. To hell with it. He couldn't concentrate on anything at this point. All Finn knew is that he needed to be alone with the woman he loved as soon as possible. But how he would actually accomplish this at the moment, was beyond him. He looked at his watch and got an idea.

"You know what...uh...it's getting late and I have an early day at GH tomorrow so maybe we should all just call it a night and we can work on this tomorrow with fresh eyes."

Finn stood up and placed his book down on the pile. Anna looked at him out of the corner of her eye and then resumed looking at the page in front of her. Finn could tell she was holding her breath. Robert raised his eyebrows and nodded his head in agreement. Finn felt relief at his response.

"Sure, no problem. You can turn in and Anna and I can work on it ourselves. I'll go put on a pot of coffee, grab another scone and we'll settle in for the evening. We can work through the night, just like the old days. Right, Annie?" Robert reached over and slapped Anna on the thigh and she started in surprise. He got swatted hard on the shoulder in response.

"Uh...oh...well." Anna looked at Finn, her eyes begging him to help her out of a long night of research. She knew what they both wanted. Finn looked at her helplessly, not knowing what to say or do to give Robert the hint.

"Ok then...I guess, I'll just say goodnight then." Finn turned and began to walk towards the stairs, he was trying desperately to come up with a plan. He got as far as halfway up the staircase when suddenly an idea dawned on him. He snapped his fingers, turned around and walked back into the room.

"Oh, wait...you know what? I forgot something. Anna, have you looked at the time?"

Anna tilted her head in confusion. She didn't know where his question was leading.

"Um...yes...it's getting late."

"That's right it's way past time for your treatment." She noticed Finn looking at her hard as if trying to communicate something to her. She shrugged ever so slightly at him to telegraph that she had no idea what he was trying to accomplish. "My treatment…," she repeated.

"What treatment?" Robert asked.

Finn walked over to his medical bag and took out a small bottle and an eye dropper.

"Anna is still under a the optic surgeon's treatment protocol for her vitreous hemorrhage. Uh...since the neovascularization from the proliferative retinopathy was the cause of her blindness, a laser panretinal photocoagulation was performed. And it's still possible for the residual hemorrhage to cause regression of neovascularization." Anna blinked in shock, then smiled at him, thoroughly impressed. She nodded as if she understood any of what he had just said.

Finn nodded back at her and continued, "She has to have these eye drops administered to treat the after-effects of her surgery."

Anna looked at Robert and shrugged in apology. Then she looked at Finn with admiration. Finn's genius as a doctor was one of his most alluring, and to be honest, arousing qualities.

"Oh. Well, fine then, go ahead so we can get back to work." Robert returned to leafing through the large book in his hands.

"Well, that's just it. The drops have to be in for at least eight hours and they have to be administered...while lying down." Anna's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but Finn continued. "And, they dilate the pupils so she needs to be in complete darkness."

Anna stood up and crossed her arms. She put a hint of exasperation in her voice and matched it with the look on her face. "I mean I'm sure I could put it off for one night. Robert's right we have a lot to get through. And Finn you know I hate having things put in my eyes."

"And compromise your recovery? Robert, you aren't going to let her be that cavalier with her health are you? Back me up here."

"He's right Anna. We're trying to get to the bottom of your blindness. You won't be any good to us if everything goes dark again."

"Oh, thank you for the encouragement," she said dryly.

Robert shot her a look and then returned his attention to Finn. "Listen, I'll be back first thing in the morning and we can finish our research. And, hey! You take good care of her and don't let her give you any grief. Hold her down if you have to."

Anna strangled a cough at his response and she couldn't help but notice when Finn flushed all the way to his ears at Robert's comment. She smiled slyly. "Oh don't worry. I promise to cooperate fully," she said innocently.

Robert stood up and walked to the foyer and donned his jacket. Finn followed and opened the door for him. Robert started to leave and then gestured for Finn to lean in a little closer.

"Careful. She's got that look in her eye. I know it well. Try not to get injured." Robert patted a speechless Finn on the shoulder.

"Goodnight!" He said loudly, waved towards Anna and walked out of the house.

Finn hurried to close the door and turned the deadbolt.

He turned to see Anna standing in the middle of the living room. She looked at him with an intensity that made his blood run hot, then cold through his body. Suddenly, they were both at each other like a shot. Finn set her on the edge of the couch and let his hand feel the shapely legs that were under her red skirt while the other felt the taut skin of her back. Anna pulled at the tie at her waist, undoing the fastenings of her blouse until she could shrug out of it. She felt Finn feel for the zipper of her skirt and tug it down swiftly. Soon, she was divested of any articles of clothing that were a barrier to his exploration of her body.

She arched towards him and moved his hands, guiding them to all of the areas of her body that ached for his attention. Her teeth grazed his bottom lip and he groaned, pulling her closer. His lips were on her neck and he gently returned the favor by running his teeth over her smooth skin. He was careful to soothe any redness his attentions left behind with a soft kiss. Anna brought her hand to the back of his neck, she pulled back and pinned him with her eyes. Something wicked gleamed in their depths and Finn felt his whole body flush from the way she looked at him.

"You don't need to worry." She smiled and pulled on his tie to bring him closer.

"What do you mean?" Excitement ran through him mixed with curiosity.

"I'm saying there is no need to be gentle tonight. In fact, I'd rather you'd not." She lifted herself up to her tiptoes and nibbled at the underside of his jaw.

Finn's world seemed to turn sideways as his brain took a moment to comprehend what she was insinuating. Finn swept her into his arms, hot sparks igniting as he kissed her. They were both breathless, each in a hurry to devour the other. Anna reached for the top button of his vest but when it would not part under her fingers quick enough she grabbed a handful of fabric with each hand and pulled with all her strength. Buttons shot in every direction. His shirt was her next victim.

They would never make it upstairs, instead, Anna pulled Finn to the couch. His lips lingered on her skin and she gasped at the pressure of his teeth on her shoulder. She knew it would leave a mark. The thought excited her and reduced her to warm liquid that pooled in her center. All restraint was forgotten. Fingers pressed, nails raked, and voices urged for more until their desire was extinguished in each other.

Anna woke up to the light streaming into their bedroom window. She felt warm and snug and reached her hand over to the other side of the bed but found it empty. She opened one eye and looked at the vacant spot where Finn should have been. Her disappointment cleared when she saw the unmade bed and tangle of crumpled sheets. She smiled at the memory of their evening of passion. They had been overcome by basic, unapologetic lust and it had been exactly what Anna needed to clear her mind. She took a moment to stretch limbs and found her muscles felt sore. She reached for her robe and slung it on. As she walked by the bureau mirror she stopped short. Her hair was unruly, her skin flushed and there were two marks that she could count, one on her shoulder and one on her clavicle. She would have to leave off wearing anything low cut in favor of something that would cover the traces of last night's exploits. She remembered the blue shirt she purchased, still hanging in her closet. Its high neckline will be just the thing to hide the fact that Finn more than honored her request to not be gentle. She smiled at her reflection and hurried her way downstairs.

Robed, shirtless and his hair disheveled, Finn busied himself making coffee and pouring hot water into Anna's favorite teapot. He turned to hand her a cup as he heard her pad into the kitchen. The sight of her made him halt. Her satin robe hung off her shoulder and he could see the marks he left on her, the rosy splotch standing out against her pale skin. She looked at him, satisfied and undone. He smiled widely at her and looked at her adoringly. In turn, she ducked her eyes and smiled sheepishly.

Finn placed the cup on the counter and walked towards her, reaching out to touch her tousled hair, making her blush. Anna ran her hands over his shoulders, gently caressing the scratches she left on his skin last night. Finn's arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her against him, his skin was warm. His eyes continued to gaze into hers, flickering with all of the emotions she brought to the surface. Right now, this Anna Devane was different than the poised WSB agent that the world was accustomed to, she was unpolished and wild and he knew how to make her tremble. His thumb stroked her cheek and he placed a kiss on her lips taking a moment to take a snapshot of her in his mind's eye. She sighed softly and leaned against him wrapping her arms around his waist. Finn rested his forehead against hers and Anna smiled at the feel of his hair falling softly against her face.

"Last night was incredible." Anna grinned into the side of his neck breathing in the smell of him.

"Thank you. You weren't so bad yourself."

"We have a lot of work ahead of us today. We have to meet Robert at the MetroCourt and we have our leads to follow up on."

"Ah, well, while you were lazing about in bed, I already did that. I'm waiting to hear back from my contact."

"We should go get ready." Anna planted a kiss on his lips. She leaned back and turned away but gasped in surprise when she felt Finn's hands on her waist as he swiftly lifted her up and placed her on the kitchen counter.

"Not so fast. I haven't said good morning yet." Finn ran his hands down her smooth legs as he stood between her parted knees. His mouth was on hers, fingers tangled in her hair while Anna pulled at the sash of his robe.

"Well, let's make it a good morning," she breathed huskily as he trailed his lips down her neck. Her voice was daring and she loved feeling so unconstrained with him.

"Deal," he replied."


	19. Chapter 19

**Devane Manor**

Anna awoke in a panic, her heart racing. The remnants of her nightmare flashed as she struggled to get her bearings. She was engulfed in the feeling of overwhelming dread. A cold sweat covered her body making her skin gleam in the faint violet light that strayed into the room through the tall windows, the setting sun was ceding its throne to the cold moon. The shadows filled the room like fantasms, ghosts of the past haunting her present. As her senses began to adjust to the darkness she realized she was lying on her couch in her living room. The pain in her neck, and the hardbound book facedown on the floor, it's pages splayed out, told her that she had fallen asleep while reading again. Nowadays it seemed to be the only way to coax her mind into quieting long enough for sleep to come but now- the nightmares were back and this cycle was just beginning again.

Even with Cesar Faison dead she still couldn't escape his reign of terror. In Bern, Robert had said she needed to take time to rest and to heal. The advice was well meant but how could she forget him if even in sleep he still tormented her. It always began the same. The acrid smell of a cigarillo in the air. Faison pointing a gun at Finn. Faison screaming that she was his destiny. Finn pleading for her to run. The deafening sound of the gun. The sight of Finn's blue eyes, cold and lifeless, as she tried desperately to stop the flood of red hot blood flowing from his chest. Faison telling her that another obstacle between them had been removed but his voice was drowned out by the keening sound of her own weeping.

Anna didn't fear death, she had been conditioned not to. It was only through her loved ones that she was vulnerable. The nightmares just reinforced the truth of this. Finn refused to understand this truth. His words echoed in her memory.

You're denying what you feel. You can't tell me that is what you want.

How could she even begin to explain to him that this had nothing to do with what she wanted. Rather than understanding the danger he posed to him he had wanted to run towards her, to jump in with both feet. But he was just a moth to a flame not understanding that all that she could offer to him was the means of his own destruction.

You're complicated and you lead a dangerous life and that's not fair to the people you care about.

No, it wasn't fair, this life. And there was no way out. Those choices were stripped from her ages ago when she was too young to understand the implications of her career path. She had once told Robert that the price to personal happiness that the WSB commanded was too high. And she had been right, the cost was too high, but what she didn't realize at the time was that it was a debt that could never be paid.

Faison's death really changed little. If it wasn't him that was a threat there would always be another. Adversaries both named and unnamed. She would always be a danger to those she loved. Anna had been heartbroken when Robin, Patrick, and Emma moved to California but in the back of her mind, she felt a small sense of relief that they would not so easily be targeted by any enemies that came to Port Charles looking for leverage against her.

The darkness grew and Anna had no idea of how long she had been sitting with her thoughts. Suddenly she knew what she needed to do. Anna grabbed her coat and headed out the door.

 **The Port Charles Harbor**

Anna found herself on standing on the pier as she used to in the old days. Staring at the water, remembering. Anna took a moment to check her surroundings. She was alone, the dock was deserted so she let the tears fall. The cracks in her armor began to deepen. She felt frail as if she would shatter at the lightest touch. No amount of time could ease the pain. For a small sliver of time, she thought that there had been someone who could restore her heart. It had begun to beat with renewed strength, on the verge of opening, eager for companionship but also more susceptible to loss. Her distracted thoughts made her unaware that she was being observed.

Finn's mind contemplated the woman standing in front of him. From a distance, she looked composed, as if nothing out of the ordinary was troubling her. But Finn knew better and as he walked closer he could see the dark shadows under her eyes betray her weariness. She was attempting to hold on to her air of self-possession but he can see the facade crumbling ever so slightly. He was close enough to see a twitch at the corner of her eye that matched the tiredness on her face. Her eyes darted to and fro as she looked out into the dark water. Finn felt a sharp pang in his heart. Their eyes met but Anna turned away quickly. Finn thought about turning around but instead, he approached slowly. If only he could make her understand that they were capable of handling the world together.

Anna's thoughts were interrupted by a familiar warmth standing behind her. She felt his hand rest on her shoulder, a gesture that took her by surprise but she did not startle. The steadiness of his body pressed against her back. She inhaled sharply at the unexpected contact but her soul-weariness overwhelmed her and before her mind could rationalize what was happening she leaned back against him. Immediately Finn's arms were around her holding her firmly.

"Anna. I just want to help." Finn's voice was soft but with a roughness that made her heart beat faster than before. The striking gentleness in his tone took her by surprise but he didn't press her further. She didn't respond but turned and looked up into his face filled with unfeigned concern. What she wanted to see was his eyes, bright and alive. The comfort of his gaze on her began to calm the uproar of emotion in her heart. She took a moment to commit him to memory. Tall, handsome, alive. Her arms went around him and she held on for dear life. Anna allowed herself to linger over memories of comfortable evenings and laughter, remembrances rose-colored and warm. She thought of their never-to-be future. She had the urge to apologize. She was sorry for being reckless with his life but she also wanted to plead for him to understand she didn't mean to care. Their eyes did not leave each other for a long moment. On impulse, she reached to brush the hair back from his face. The warmth of his body radiated through the layers of wool and cotton. She imagined embracing him in another time, under different circumstances. She swallowed her feelings and attempted to smother those thoughts. She didn't want him to let go yet, but she was ashamed of her weakness.

Finn watched as the lines of her face deepened, and the echoes of grief, old and new were apparent. Her gaze became more sorrowful and then stern. She didn't speak a word but her eyes spoke volumes. She was engaged in a battle with her feelings for him. He remembered when she first made an impression on him. Her hard stare was not like the look of impish glee that had sparkled in her eyes as she blackmailed him into her life, instead, it was sad and worried. He couldn't bear it. His own eyes dropped overpowered with emotion, unable look to her. Finn felt a sharp stab in his chest that had nothing to do with physical pain. What he felt was anger, an emotion that he very rarely let himself feel. He was angry at the situation, at the life that prevented Anna from following her heart. If she could he was certain that she would choose him, choose "us". His thoughts returned to the present moment, he could see her make a conscious effort to push the sadness away. He wished he could take her sorrow away even if for a moment. Suddenly she pulled away.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"Anna-"

"No. It's my fault. It won't happen again." Before he could respond Anna turned on her heel and walked quickly away. Finn knew there was no use following. As she receded into the distance, Finn reached into his pocket and drew something out. He looked at the piece of cold pressed metal in his hand. It was the key to her house. He had kept it. He didn't know why but it always found its way with him wherever he went. His thumb rubbed over the bright steel which had grown more brilliant over the past month as his fingers ran over it like a worry stone. He had thought it wasn't necessary but once he had lost it and it was when he was in the middle of tearing his MetroCourt room apart that it occurred to him that it held more significance than he wanted to admit. Losing it was losing her. She had sent him away but he wasn't ready for the finality of that decision. So her key stayed with him. He turned and walked away hoping that maybe somewhere in time he and Anna Devane could have their chance. But for the life of him, he didn't know if that would ever be possible.

 **Devane Manor**

Anna climbed the stairs to her bedroom feeling bone weary and heart-sick. She left a trail of garments in her wake as she walked straight to her bedroom. She reached into her dresser drawer and drew out a dark blue men's dress shirt. She smoothed her hands over the fabric and lifted it to her face and let the soft linen touch her cheek then she pulled it on. She took a moment to fold up the cuffs. A smile came to her face as she remembered the sight of Finn rolling up his sleeves just to unroll them a moment later. He always did that and she would never dream of pointing that out to him. She loved the picture he made engaged in habitual motion. She was sure he could point out her own habits as well.

Once she was dressed in his clothes the dam broke. The tears pooled in her eyes and one blink sent them on their way, cascading down her cheek and into the collar of the shirt. She swallowed a sob as the tears fell unchecked. Anna crawled into bed and pulled the blankets over her head. She could only hope that Finn's touch, the one that she could still feel burning on her skin would be a talisman against the monsters that haunted her dreams. Fortunately, luck was on her side and she fell quickly into a dreamless sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**Devane Manor**

"Nice house. Not very feng shui though. You can really feel the negative shi chi in the room. The house feels like...attacking energy and repressed emotions." Former doctor, and prisoner, Britt Westbourne placed her hands on the wall and closed her eyes for a moment.

"Ugh, stop touching things and making everything sticky. I'm going to have to go wipe down the car already." Finn squirted a generous amount of hand sanitizer into his palm and rubbed his hands together vigorously.

"Well if you two had done a better job making sure I wasn't assaulted by Lulu I wouldn't be like this. Hopefully, you are a better doctor than a bodyguard." Britt continued to walk around, picking things up and setting them down as she chose. A muscle worked in Finn's jaw and Anna reached to rub his arm soothingly.

"Britt, why don't you go upstairs and get yourself cleaned up. The second room on the right will be yours for the night. There are towels and everything you need in the shower."

"Can I at least have a snack first? I'm starving."

Finn looked at her in horror. "How is that even possible? I didn't think any one person could consume that much meat in one sitting as it is."

 _Ding Dong!_

Britt's eyes lit up at the sound of the doorbell and she fairly skipped over to the front door.

"Yay! Awesome! Just in time." She reached for the door handle and hauled it open

Anna called after her, following closely on her heels. "No one knows you are here. How can you possibly have a visitor?"

Standing at the door was a bearded man in a trucker hat. He was holding a bucket that Anna recognized as being from a local fried chicken restaurant and a six-pack. Britt held her hands out and jumped up and down with glee.

"Here, give me those. Knowing you, Agent Stiff Upper Lip, I figured there would only be fancy wine and champagne here and all I want is good, old fashioned all-American beer."

"You don't even have a phone. How could you have possibly have had the ability to order anything?" Finn asked doubtfully.

"With this." Britt reached into her back pocket and triumphantly pulled out a cell phone. She tossed it at Finn who barely was able to catch it in time. He looked at it and then back to her in shock.

"Hey! This is mine and now it's sticky too. Ugh! How?"

"In prison, you learn how to pocket things at the right moment and conceal them. That's why being in the laundry was the best place. I could control the flow of contraband, phones especially. Being a doctor I'm really good with my hands. I can show you sometime."

The delivery boy waved his hand to get the attention of the room. "Um, this is great and all but can someone pay for this stuff. I have another delivery to make and you're holding me up." He held out his hand. "That will be $34.00 even."

Britt gestured towards Finn. "He's got it."

"I've got it?" He said incredulously.

"I've been in prison. I don't have a credit card or cash. How am I supposed to pay him? And he's here now so stop being cheap. You're a doctor, not an intern. Now pay the man and tip him well too."

"Fine." Finn pulled his wallet from his pocket and counted out the bills before handing into the delivery man and closing the door behind him. Anna stepped forward and gestured towards the second floor. "Britt go upstairs. There are towels in the bathroom. Go get settled then."

"Fine, but I'm taking these with me." The bucket of chicken was cradled tenderly under one arm and the six-pack of beer securely held in her other hand.

"Whatever, just go." Anna waved her on her way. Her shoulders slumped in exasperation and soon a Britt left the room.

"And remind me again why we are babysitting a criminal instead on going to Provence?" Finn looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"You know why. She's a little rough around the edges but she's going to get me what I want. Believe me, if I could put her somewhere else I would. But I trust her as far as I can throw her so keeping her close by is best until we can get her to General Hospital and start phase two. You are ready for your part, yeah?"

"Yes, I've already placed the order for the tests tomorrow. And I think that I am owed a little bit of gratitude for laying aside my Hippocratic oath for this scheme."

"Oh come on. Britt signed the WSB's waiver and so did you when you agreed to be my backup. Besides all this is for the greater good. Your oath is to do no harm. You're not harming her...well not permanently."

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or concerned by how excited you are at the prospect of me infecting her with a virus.

"I'm not excited...ok maybe I'm a little excited. I'm just glad I have her here where I can keep an eye on her. Now that she's getting settled why don't you head back to the MetroCourt to get some sleep? God knows I haven't been letting you get any since I came home. I'll handle her from here."

"You want me to leave? No way!"

"I've got it under control."

"And what if she- I don't know- decides to slit your throat in the middle of the night?"

"Ok, one that's a little dramatic and two how would you help in that situation exactly?"

"I don't know. I could stitch you up or provide first aid in some way- the point is I'm not going anywhere. Besides you do owe me for taking me to prison instead of a romantic getaway."

Anna walked over and took Finn's hand in her own and smiled apologetically. She gave him a look that went right under his skin and made him feel as if she could see right inside his soul.

"I'm sorry if being with me is not always conventional. I'm sure it's frustrating." Finn ran his hand down the side of her face and tilted her chin up so he could look into her eyes. Eyes he had missed for the past three weeks more than he could say.

"I like being with you precisely because you are unconventional."

Finn decided to take a chance and pulled her to him. He kissed her deeply and he felt Anna respond in kind. He decided to take another chance. As they say, you have to play to win.

"She's probably going to be in the shower for a while. We could head upstairs…"

"Finn…"

"What if we're quick but I make it worth your while."

She sighed and shook her head. He thought he had lost but thrilled when she took his hand and led him swiftly up the stairs to her bedroom. They were alone and Anna's heart thudded, a rush of heat running through her as she felt his hands pull at blouse, untucking it from her waistband. His hands found her bare skin and roamed up her sides. Her hand clasped the back of his neck and brought their lips together. Finn pulled back only to turn his attention to her collarbone, one of his favorite parts of her. The feeling made her smile and she wrapped her arms around him as she enjoyed the sensation.

She cared about him, missed him, wanted to be with him; these were all varying ways of saying a word that her heart was yearning to say but her mind usually held in check. But now, here in the middle of a mission, Anna was overwhelmed by the urge to say it. This probably was not the right time, but then again maybe there was no right time. Maybe this moment was as right as it needed to be. Just him and her laying their feelings bare after a separation. She felt certain that Finn felt it too, that he felt this pull between him that was more than just butterflies. This was respect and trust and admiration and...love. While she had been gone she couldn't keep the thought of telling him once and for all that she loved him out of her mind. She pulled back slightly so she could look at his beautiful eyes and they looked back quizzically into hers.

"Finn?"

"Yes?" He was curious. Something was on her mind but he didn't know what.

"I have something I want to say to you."

"Anything."

"It's a good thing, but It's difficult to say. I'm not sure how to begin or what I'm even saying..."

Finn smiled and held her tight. "How about you start at the beginning."

She flushed and looked down, unable to meet his eyes. She finally took a deep breath and plunged ahead, hoping that she hadn't misjudged his feelings for her but knowing that she needed to get it out or she might burst.

"Alright. I thought about us a lot when I was away and there is something that I felt that I needed to say to you when I got back and here it goes. Finn I-"

Her declaration was interrupted by the sound of a large crashing noise emanating from the bathroom to the left of them. They grew still and quiet, listening. Anna motioned for Finn to back away and she instinctively reached behind her back feeling for her gun only to remember that she had left it in her safe during their trip to Pentonville. Her brain began to move into overdrive as the adrenaline kicked in. Maybe Liesl had somehow gotten wind of their plan and had one of her own in place. Without hesitation, Anna kicked the door open.

She was greeted by a column of steam pouring from the open door and it took a moment for it to dissipate enough for her to see. Once she could focus her blood began to boil. Britt was seated in her bathtub engulfed in a heap of bubbles that spilled onto the tile floor. Water was sopping over the sides as Britt shimmied to and fro in the water. She appeared to be listening to music through the earbuds she was wearing and ones that Anna recognized as her own. Cradled in her arm was the bucket of fried chicken and she was alternating between eating and washing each bite down with a swig of beer. Empty bottles were strewn here and there like flotsam and jetsam, adding to the chaos of the scene. Once Anna had a moment to absorb the shock she walked over and pulled the earbud from Britt's ear sharply.

"Hey! What gives!" Britt was startled enough to drop her fried chicken bucket. it disappeared into the soapy abyss, its contents set adrift.

"What the hell are you doing?" Anna put her face close to Britt's so she could not avoid her gaze which flashed with anger. "This is my bathroom. I told you what room you are in."

"But that one didn't have a bath and I've had enough of showers in Pentonville. If you want my help I'm taking a bath."

"You already signed the WSB agreement so negotiations are over. Hurry up and get out!"

"Geez fine. I'll be out in a minute." She tilted her head and looked past Anna at Finn standing helplessly back in the bedroom. "But hey Doc feel free to come in and take a closer look if you want."

"No thanks. I'm good." Finn blushed and turned around quickly.

"I'm sure you are. Nice work by the way Anna. Looks like you've got your groove back after Duke."

"We are done talking. Just hurry up and get out!" Anna stalked out of the room with Finn trailing behind her until she reached the living room. The string of profanity that streamed out under her breath was impressive and he hadn't realized that Anna Devane had such an extensive vocabulary of curse words and in so many different languages. Once they returned to the first floor of her home she paced for a few moments before Anna sat on the couch with her head in her hands. Finn eyed her cautiously. He looked over at her in an attempt to gauge her level of rage. From the look on he face, he felt like she was hovering somewhere between icy cold and volcanic.

"Breathe." he encouraged

"I am breathing."

"There is a difference between breathing and seething."

She leaned back and closed her eyes, taking a few centering breaths. "I'm fine. I'm calm."

"Ok. Good." Finn took a seat next to her but thought better of trying to touch her at that moment. He wasn't that stupid.

They sat in silence until the sound of a door closing and footsteps on the staircase gave notice of Britt's imminent arrival. They could hear her before they could see her and Anna ran her hand over he face in an attempt to retain the sense of calm she had managed to find.

"Ok, that bedroom you have me in makes me feel seasick. It has to be a cruel and unusual punishment to be surrounded by so much pink. Of course, Emma would grow into the embodiment of girly cliches."

As she came into view Anna's eye narrowed and all thoughts of remaining calm were out the window. Britt's hair was damp from the bath and was running a brush through her hair and she had clothed herself in Anna's favorite Isabel Marant blouse, the one that was a gift to herself because even her comfortable secret agent salary could not support such a purchase as often as she would like. At the sight of her Anna balled her fists tightly then she stood up and pointed directly towards the staircase.

"Go change now!" Anna's voice held all of the strength and authority that she possessed and Britt stopped in her tracks immediately at the full sound of Agent Devane. She looked down at her attire and stood up a little straighter at the tone.

"Into what? My clothes smell like a bar thanks to Lulu."

"I set out a pair of pajamas for you. Wear those."

"But it's not even that late!."

"It is for you. You are not going anywhere or having any visitors."

"Can't I invite a few people over?"

"No, absolutely not."

"Uhhhh! I hate you!"

"You can go to your room for the rest of the evening unless you start to behave better. Now put that shirt back in my closet where you found it. Immediately!" Anna thundered.

Finn's eyes opened like saucers and he gaped openly at the scene in front of him. Somehow this woman, that most would consider petite, could fill any space with a presence so large and commanding that it could make even the most hardened person cower. Britt was no match and without another word, she stomped her way back up the stairs. Finn flinched at the sound of the door slamming shut. He turned and looked at Anna in awe.

"Wow."

"She is infuriating. I was having flashbacks to going at it with Robin. God knows what Britt Westbourne was like as a teenager and how she made it out alive."

"Well, your...resolve was impressive. Are you worried that she might try to slip out? "

"That's it!" Anna picked up her cell phone and began dialing, "I'm not going to take any chances of her sneaking out in the night so I'm going to arrange for perimeter surveillance until we can get her to the hospital." She left the room to make arrangements while Finn meditated on witnessing Anna Devane taking charge. It was always...stimulating to say least. Soon she re-entered the room.

"They will be sending a team over in two hours."

"So what do we do in the meantime?"

"We sit up and watch." Anna sat down on the couch and crossed her legs. Her foot tapped repeatedly on the underside of the coffee table in agitation

"I'll go make a pot of coffee. Tea for you?" Taking in her energy for a moment Finn thought that herbal tea would probably be best even though he knew she would roll her eyes at him.

Anna finally looked up and smiled wanly at him. "That's ok. You don't have to serve me you know. I can get it myself."

"But I want to." Finn took a chance that her equilibrium had returned and punctuated his sentence with a kiss on her lips and a smile. Anna smiled back and settled deeper into the couch. Finn couldn't help but claim her lips again, then he left the room and soon returned with two cups and saucers. He passed one to Anna and seated himself next to her.

"I'm glad Roxy's not here. There's no telling what she would do to her."

"Roxy's probably missing you. I'm sure she had your undivided attention while I was gone." Anna stirred her tea absentmindedly and then stopped to tuck a stray strand behind her ear. Finn's breath caught in his throat for a moment at the sight of her. A feeling of relief that she was back and safe washed over him. Finn set his cup down gently and turned towards her.

"I know I said it already but I'm glad your home. This was our first, I guess you could say, planned separation. At the end of it, I liked finding you in my room a whole lot better than Robert telling me you've been abducted."

"And I liked having you to come home to."

"Anytime."

It was still after all this time miraculous to Finn that they had come together in this way. He had wanted to be with her for so long, but even after he finally made his successful romantic overture he never anticipated anything as they had become. At some point, he felt that they had become a true team. Finn gathered Anna into his arms and she nestled her head on his shoulder. He caressed the length of her arm and felt her shiver and he smiled. He was glad that the heat between them was based on far more than just desire. As glorious as that was, Finn knew they enjoyed each other minds and wit as much as their bodies. He took to softly stroking her hair as he enjoyed the feel of her. They stayed this way until the clock chimed out eleven times. As it sounded through the room they sat together in silence, both cherishing each other's touch.

"Do you think it's safe to say that Britt's headed to bed, and dare we hope, asleep?"

"Well, she hasn't made any noise for quite a while. And I haven't gotten a call telling me she's crawling out the window so I'll take that as a positive sign that maybe we can try to head to bed ourselves."

Finn stood up and held his hands to help her to her feet. He pursed his lips as he had a habit of doing when he was trying not to smile but Anna craved the look of his upturned lips so she smiled and laughed knowing that she would be able to draw it out of him that way. The sweet sound of her laughter left Finn happy and buoyant. Anna picked up her cup and saucer in one hand and placed the other in his. It was Finn's turn to lead her upstairs.

Once the door was closed and locked behind them, Finn opened a drawer in her bureau that she had set aside for his things and quickly changed into his usual nighttime ensemble of t-shirt and sweats. He hung his suit carefully in his part of the closet and watched amused as Anna peeked into the bathroom and quickly shut the door. She leaned her back against it with a beleaguered look on her face.

"I think I'm going to have to have to call in HAZMAT if I ever want it to be the same again."

Finn smiled and took the cup she still held from her hands and walked to his side of the bed. He set it on the nightstand before pulling back the comforter on the bed and slipping underneath. He fluffed the pillow and placed it under his head and then opened his arms in an inviting gesture.

Anna's body responded instinctively. She was inwardly pleased with his playfulness and appreciated how the shirt he wore delineated the muscles of his chest and arms. She couldn't help but be riveted by his physicality and the mental image of him had left her distracted during more than one intelligence briefing. She smiled and followed his lead by changing into her nighttime attire, taking note of his eyes on her while she changed. Then she crossed the room quickly, crawled across the bed and into his warm embrace. She sighed contentedly and was happy that he had decided to stay and she had let him stay.

"This is better." Finn's voice was low and wicked and his arms enveloped her further clearly indicating his intentions.

"Mmmmm...it is." Her lips found his as his hand lingered at her hip playing with the waistband of her pajamas. Anna's breath hitched at the sensation of his fingers on her skin. She felt the pulse of arousal hum through her body. Decisively, she reached down to his waist, tugged at the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head until he was free of it. His hands moved up to cup her face and he kissed her deeply until she gasped against his mouth. Anna slid her hands down Finn's back, pulling him closer. He felt so good and she was glad to be home. His hands moved to the buttons of her pajama top and his lips trailed slowly down her neck. Anna arched her back at the sensation.

 _Tap Tap Tap_

Finn and Anna froze at the sound of tapping on the bedroom door. She pushed his hands away and sat up quickly. Anna tried to regulate the rate of her breathing to a normal level before responding.

"Yes? What is it?"

A muffled response came from the other side of the door. "It's cold in my room."

Anna rolled her eyes and Finn shook his head and ran his hands through hair.

"There are blankets in the closet!" She hollered back.

They listened for a moment and heard nothing but silence in answer. After a few moments, Anna lay back down. Finn leaned over her and brushed his body against hers.

"Where were we?" Anna's breath quickened. Finn's voice was rough and seemed to roll through her body like an earthquake through sand sending shivers along her skin and adding to her desire. Anna's hands were in his hair and she shifted her body underneath his. Finn's arms were around her and he kissed her long and deep. His fingers moved to the buttons of her top stopping their journey only to caress each inch of flesh exposed by the task. His lips kissed down her sternum and over the ridge of her ribcage, across her belly and continued their journey south. He ran his thumbs along the line where her hips and thighs met and leaned down to kiss her hip bone.

"Mmmm," she responded, stretching her arms above her head in anticipation of what she knew was coming next.

 _Knock Knock Knock_

Finn's hands stilled and he broke away from her. Anna sat up and drew her knees up to her chest as she rubbed her temples in vexation.

"For crying out loud, what now?" Anna called out in aggravation. Finn reached over to rub her back in what he hoped was a soothing manner. Finn felt that keeping Anna calm would be best for her and definitely best for Britt if she was to survive the night.

"There's a weird noise. It's keeping me up."

"It's just the radiator. There are earplugs in the nightstand. Now go to sleep!"

Anna flopped back down on the bed and held her breath, listening for any more noise or movement. They lay in the dark for what seemed like an eternity until she was sure that they were not going to receive any more nighttime interruptions. Despite the darkness, in the room, Finn could feel her finally relax. The interruptions had just sharpened his need for her. He leaned in to take her mouth in a deep searching kiss as he pressed against her. Anna yielded immediately. She wanted him, she needed him. She moaned as his hands skimmed over her body, setting sparks on her skin.

"Finn," she panted his name as tension built within her. Anna kissed him back her legs curling up so her hips could meet his.

"God...Anna." Finn's hands tightened on her hips. He was done waiting.

 _THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!_

They both jumped in surprise as the headboard thumped against the wall from the force of the blows on the other side of it and the sound of fine china cracking as it hit the floor announced that the nightstand had experienced the impact as well.

 _BANG! BANG! BANG!_

"These walls are THIN! I can HEAR YOU! These earplugs aren't ENOUGH, YA KNOW!"

"That's it. I'm going to kill her!" Anna threw the blankets aside and started to get up. Finn grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!. I really don't want you going to prison for murder."

"It would be a crime of passion. After what I have endured today, no jury would convict me."

"Not a chance I'm willing to take. What happened to you sucking it up and dealing with her for your son's sake? You still want to find Obrecht, right?"

"You just don't want to be named an accomplice."

"True. That would put a damper on my medical career." Finn coaxed her back into his arms. "Hey, come here." She lay her head on his chest and sighed in resignation.

"See? Isn't that nice? It's fine. We can just lay here and hold one another."Finn buried his nose into her hair, breathing in deep the scent of her shampoo combined with her perfume. She stilled when he pressed a kiss to her temple, but then when her fingers traced his chest they felt soft and warm against his skin. His arms tightened around her as if he was worried she would vanish.

"I guess it will have to do." She said lazily. Anna let out a small huff that adequately expressed her irritation at having to wait and Finn appreciated it greatly. He couldn't get enough of being wanted by her. He kissed her temple again in silent apology for the delay. He felt the weight of her head settle against his chest as she relaxed against him. Finn squeezed her again, thanking her for her restraint.

"Anyway Mad Doctor Jr. is headed to GH tomorrow and I promise I will make it up to you."

"Make it up to me how exactly?" She lifted her head to look him in the eye. Her eyebrow arched in skeptically.

"Oh I'm going to let that be a surprise," Finn leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. " But I promise you can be as loud as you want."


	21. Chapter 21

**General Hospital, Port Charles**

It was just a coincidence that Finn was even in the ER at that moment. He had been called down to look a patient who had just returned from the Amazon with a suspicious rash that turned out to be your garden variety psoriasis and so now he stood in thought as he drummed his fingers on the counter in monotony. He looked at the clock and was relieved to see that he had only one more hour until the end of his shift. Anna had left at his insistence. He knew she needed three times the amount of sleep that she had been getting recently but the night was so quiet he was regretting his decision. He wouldn't have minded a quiet evening in the hospital if she had been there to keep him company. He thinks of the pile of paperwork that is waiting for his attention in his office but he stubbornly dismisses it from his mind. It can wait a little longer.

Suddenly the quiet was shattered by the sound of gurneys being rolled down the hallways of the hospital and the shouts of paramedics as they worked on the occupants. Finn stepped down and ran towards the ER receiving doors.

"What have we got!" He shouted to be heard above the noise and confusion. A pair of frazzled-looking EMTs were pushing a gurney containing a patient whose face was so blood-soaked it completed obscured their features. The EMT at the head of the gurney worked to wipe the gore away from the victim and keep the airway as clear as possible.

"We have a female, forties, she was hit by a car in a parking garage. Injuries are consistent with impact trauma. Pressure's down to 80 and dropping fast. Her abdomen is swelling, so internal bleeding is a given."

As they started to move past, Finn happened to finally catch a full view of the victim. As he came alongside he was in shock at what he found. The victim was Jordan Ashford. Finn started. Blood was everywhere, soaking the blanket that had been placed over her and seeping on to the gurney. He only missed a beat before, Finn's instincts kicked in and he was able to recover. He nodded and pointed down the hallway.

"We need to intubate immediately. We need four units of O positive and put the blood bank on notice. Take her to Trauma 2.", Finn stepped aside so she could be wheeled to her destination and made motions to follow but before he could take a step the doors to the ambulance bay burst open and two more paramedics came in pushing a gurney with what looked like a second casualty. Finn was once again greeted by a familiar face. Drew Cain

"Patient is a male mid-forties. He was the driver of the vehicle that collided with the patient who just arrived. He is unconscious but stable. He sustained contusions to his ribs and we suspect fractures. We were able to speak to him before he passed out. He suffered from a loss of vision right before the accident." Finn perked up at the mention of vision loss. It was happening again.

"Alright, trauma 3 and call me some backup. I can't do this all on my own. Page Dr. Monroe and where the hell is Dr. Jones?"

Like flipping a switch, the General Hospital ER went from quiet to chaos in a matter of minutes. Nurses scrambled, paramedics scurried, the backup was paged and the room buzzed with shouts and commands. Gloved and gowned Finn entered Jordan's trauma room and sized up the situation as quickly as he could.

"Alright what have we got?"

"We started an IV, normal saline, got a portable chest and an EKG."

The monitors began beeping alarmingly fast. In a split second, the monitor screeched out a long, sustained tone.

"Dammit, she's in v-fib."

Finn reached for the paddles. "Charge to one-fifty. Don't touch the patient! Clear!" Jordan's limp body jumped as the electric current coursed through her.

"Still in v-fib."

"Charge again...clear!"

"No change, Doctor."

"Again! Clear!"

"An amp of epi, ten milligrams of dopamine IV push. Keep working people!"

Twenty minutes, three more amps of epi, a chest tube, and a lot of frustration and sweat later the monitor started to show the fruit of their labor. The regular beeping was reassuring. Finn felt like he could finally breathe, but rather than feeling relief Finn felt his anxiety rise.

"Go ahead and get her upstairs." Finn barely registered the sound of gurney rails being snapped into place. He watched as if from a distance as Jordan was wheeled out of the room and he followed a few paces behind until he saw the elevator doors close. Finn leaned against the wall exhausted and the pieces began to slowly fall into place. Jordan Ashford was hit by a car driven by Drew Cain, who was stricken with blindness. Finn balled his fists and turned to pound his frustration onto the door of Trauma 2. This was proof positive that Anna had been right. There were other victims of Dr. Cabot's insidious research and now Jordan was collateral damage. The implications of this washed through his body like an icy wave and for a moment Finn thought he might be sick. It hadn't occurred to him until this moment how lucky they were that Anna had not been behind the wheel or some other precarious situation then her blindness had struck. She could have been wheeled into GH bleeding and broken, or worse dead.

This thought brought the image of her last will and testament to his mind unbidden. He remembered how his heart sank at the sight of it. That piece of paper had solidified in his mind that Anna was the woman he wanted to be with, for as long or as short a time as they had. He was done waiting and being polite in his feelings. And now he had her. Or perhaps it was the other way around, she had him. In any case, they were together and in love and happy. But as he thought of Jordan laid out on the operating table fighting for her life, the idea that one day it could be Anna chilled him to his soul. And then another thought occurred to him like a bolt out of the blue. Here he was a doctor and he had never asked her what her wishes were. Did she have a DNR? Had she set conditions for her removal from life support? How could he ensure her wishes were respected if he didn't know what they were. Did she want to be cremated or buried? He wasn't even sure where she kept those documents. This realization made him feel ashamed. He shook his head and pushed his feelings aside. He had another patient to attend to and set on his way to find where Drew had landed.

 **Anna and Finn's Manor**

The sound of heavy raindrops pelting on the window panes. The room was dark and cold. A dream was playing out in her subconscious. She awoke and sprang completely upright, her heart racing, her breathing rapid and her head pounding. She was alone and felt so very alone. She took control of her own breathing, slowing it down but her head continued to throb. She reached over to her nightstand and reached for a bottle of aspirin, her hands trembled causing her to struggle with the childproof lid. Her hand slipped and sent the small white pills flying in every direction but she had no energy to attend to the mess. Instead, she felt around on the mattress until she found two and downed them quickly chasing them with the half-full glass of water still sat on the nightstand from the previous night. She hoped the dull pain in her head would clear soon. The weariness washed over her again and she lay back on her pillow. She turned her head and looked at the empty space next to her. Finn was still at the hospital. She reached out to feel the blankets and sheets, they were cool to the touch telling her that he hadn't slept there at all last night. She exhaled a breath she was holding. She missed him. She wished that he was there to hold her. She had become accustomed to the feel of him beside her.

A buzzing sound got her attention. The vibration from her phone was causing it to dance across the mahogany tabletop next to her. She reached for it and answered before she even registered the name of the caller. "Hello," she said sleepily, pinching the bridge of her nose with her forefinger and thumb in an attempt to alleviate some of the pressure behind her eyes.

"Anna? It's Chase."

Anna sat up at the sound of his voice. Her years of experience as a police chief and commissioner alerted her that something was wrong just by the tone of his heart sank into her stomach.

"What's happened?"

"It's Jordan, Anna. Commissioner Ashford was in an accident. She was hit by a car and she is in really bad shape. She's been brought to GH. I felt like you should know."

"Thank you. I'll be right there."

Anna didn't wait for the formality of goodbyes and disconnected the call and in a flash, she was out of bed and rushed to get into her clothes and out of the door.

 **General Hospital, Port Charles**

Anna waited for the automated doors that led to the ER to open, cursing how slowly the glass doors moved apart and she slipped through them as soon as she reasonably could. She walked briskly towards the admitting desk her footfalls heavy on the tiled floor. Anna scanned the crowded hospital waiting room looking for familiar faces. Unexpectedly she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to find herself looking into sympathetic eyes. It was Epiphany. Anna had never been so relieved to see a familiar face.

"You heard about Jordan."

"Yes, where is she?"

"All I know is that she's in surgery."

"Is Finn with her?"

"I'm not sure. It's been a whirlwind today. Give me a moment and let me see what I can find out." She paused a moment to put her hand on Anna's shoulder and Anna felt comfort flowing through her and was thankful for it. " Anna, she's a fighter."

"I know. Thank you." Anna wiped away the tears that flowed unchecked from her eyes. It was then, out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of him. Finn walked through the double doors of the OR. He looked tired. She broke away from Epiphany and her hurried steps soon turned into a jog and she raced to meet him.

"Finn!"

The familiar sound of Anna's voice caused him to breathe a sigh of relief and his eyes shifted to and fro till he found her. His heart was pounding as he maneuvered through the crowd to reach her. He saw her striding towards him her hands outstretched, ready to take his into hers.

"Is she alright...?" Anna's voice trailed off as he looked at her. Her eyes searched his clear blue eyes for reassurance.

Finn tried to stay composed, attempted to keep his worry at bay but he was suddenly overwhelmed with relief that she was still alive and well. That she was still with him. Anna must have seen the distress on his face and misinterpreted his meaning. Her face turned white and her she brought her hand to cover her mouth. Quickly Finn took her other hand in his and sought to dispel her fear.

"It's ok. She came through the surgery. She's not completely out of the woods but she is stable right now."

Anna closed her eyes and took in a deep breath and nodded her thanks. Finn couldn't stop himself. He scooped her into his arms and hugged her fiercely, his face was nestled in the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent of her. He felt her arms embrace him tightly and she brought a hand to cradle the back of his head and he could feel the warmth of her lips on his cheek. She seemed to know what was going through his mind.

"I'm ok, Finn. I'm just fine." she soothed him with her words and raked her fingers through his hair for comfort. "I'm still here."

"But it could have been you." He whispered low in her ear. He could feel her loosen herself from his embrace just enough for her to look into his eyes. He was so grateful that they were bright and their gaze was healing.

"But it wasn't. And I had your brilliance on my side. And you cured me." Anna caressed his cheek with the back of her hand and Finn caught it and pressed his lips to her palm. He then leaned in to kiss her forehead letting his lips linger before he released her.

"You were right Anna, about the other patients. Drew was struck blind, that's why he hit Jordan. It was an accident. I need to head to the lab. I'm going to need to prepare to treat Drew and neutralize the virus."

"Can I see Jordan?"

"She should be in her room in ICU now. I'm sure Curtis will be with her but he could probably use some support right now too." Finn looked over Anna's shoulder and she turned her gaze behind to see Nurse Driscoll approaching them swiftly.

"Dr. Finn you are needed in the ER to consult on a case."

"Why?"

"Jason Morgan has been admitted. He was injured in a fall but he seems to be suffering from the same condition as the other patients you have tended to lately."

Finn and Anna's eyes met. Finn felt her hands tighten over his.

"I'm on my way. Thank you."

"I have to go." Finn stepped back but still held Anna's hand in his. He felt like he was being swept out with the tide and she was his only anchor to shore.

"I love you!" She tried to convey with her eyes as well as her words what was in her heart.

"I love you too!" He answered. It was with those words spoken that their hands broke and Finn was headed down the corridor as fast as he could go. Anna watched until he disappeared and then turned and walked towards the elevators to make her way to the ICU where her friend was waiting for her.

A quick stop at the nurse's station helped her get her bearings and soon Anna looked through the window of Jordan's recovery room. She couldn't bring herself to enter and intrude on Curtis' privacy. She could see him, his shoulders slumped forward as he held his wife's hand. His wife. They had been happy for so brief a time and the sight of him overcome with grief transported Anna to another time and place when she had sat vigil beside Duke and Robert and most recently Finn. She knew that he was bargaining with God, begging her to stay with him, just as she had done too many times to count. He must have felt her eyes on him because he stood up and opened the door for her to enter.

"Come in. I'm glad you came. Maybe you can get through to her. I need to call TJ. He's on his way here and I want to tell him her room number."

Anna held out her arms and Curtis accepted her hug.

"Thank you." He said sincerely, "Please keep her company while I'm gone. Let her know that I won't be long and I'm coming back."

"I will. And take care of yourself. Get a cup of coffee or something to eat. I'm here now."

As Anna walked deeper into the small ICU room she was struck by the familiarity of the setting, of the placement of the monitors and the ever-present sound of beeping medical equipment. How many times had she waited in a room like this? How many more times would she wait in the future? The large intubation tube was placed over Jordan's mouth and taped to her cheek to keep it in place. It obscured her face but her features looked peaceful as her chest rose and fell in time with the life support machine. Anna steadied herself before walking over and placing her hand over Jordan's, it felt cool to the touch so she picked it up and tried her best to rub warmth into it. She brought it to her cheek and Anna wanted to impress her presence upon her, to siphon some of her strength and give it to her friend who continued to lie so still, her only movement artificial and machine made.

"This isn't the end for you. Do you hear me? This isn't the end."

She reached to roll a stool closer to the bedside and sat down. She was resolved to act as sentinel until Curtis returned. She felt a tear drift down her cheek but she wiped it away determinedly. Jordan would have no patience for her going soft and Anna didn't either. She couldn't help but think about the interactions they had had lately, frustration over Obrecht, the arrest of Griffin for a crime that he could not possibly have the heart to commit, Peter's questioning. It felt as if they had spent more time being adversaries than allies. But none of that seemed to matter now.

"I know we seem to always be at odds lately but that doesn't mean I don't love you."

Anna notices as a sliver of light streaked across the floor which signaled the opening and closing of the door. Without looking, Anna thought that Curtis must have returned. However, when she finally turned around she was surprised at who was standing in the doorway.

"Robert? What are you doing here?"

"The good doctor called me. He thought I should know about Jason Morgan and Drew Cain."

"I'm sorry. I should have thought to call you."

"Your mind was occupied."

She nodded and turned back to look at Jordan's still form lying in the hospital bed

"It only takes a moment for a person's life to completely change. I think you and I know that better than most." She mused, a hint of bitterness in her voice.

Robert Scorpio was a strong man and the years had only managed to make him as tough as rawhide. But there was something that could still touch his heart and that was one particular woman, and especially when that woman was in distress. Robert moved to stand beside Anna and put his arm around her shoulder. Anna turned into him and he wrapped his arms around her as her tears fell. He held her tightly and was gratified to feel her arms reach around and reciprocate.

"It's ok, luv. Let it all out."

"Robert, I need to know what this is all about. Why this happened to me. What it all means."

"Anna, we will get to the bottom of this. I promise you."

"You are always here when I need you."

"And I always will be. I will protect my family, always. And that includes your doctor. You've done worse you know. Ow-" Robert chuckled softly as Anna swatted him on the arm.

"Don't ruin this." her words were muffled against his chest.

"Alright. I won't," he promised and smiled against the softness of her hair.


	22. Chapter 22

**Finn and Anna's Manor**

The room was draped in shadow when Finn awoke. He blinked for a moment as his eyes adjusted to the dimness of twilight. He could tell the sun had just set, but that the fading light soon it would turn into complete darkness in their bedroom. The events of the day came back to him; he had finished a shift at GH early and come home to find Anna waiting to welcome him. He had taken her hand and led her up the stairs and then shut the world out. They had then drifted off to sleep feeling exhausted and sated. As he replayed the memory of their lovemaking in his mind, what drew his gaze was the sight of pale skin as it illuminated the space next to him. Anna was lying on her side, turned away from him and he listened to the sound of her softly breathing. The bed sheets were tucked under her arm but fell away so that the lines of her back and shoulders were exposed. Finn smiled; it was a sight he could never get enough of. He lay looking for a moment debating on whether or not he could place a kiss on that tempting spot at the nape of her neck without waking her. He realized he had hesitated too long when she began to stir and become awake to the world. Finn decided to make the most of the moment and leaned in to lay his lips on her shoulder before whispering a good evening into her ear. It must have tickled because she laughed gently and turned herself towards him with her 1,000-watt smile.

"Good evening." She said drowsily and stretched herself causing the bedclothes to shift around her. Finn's eyes fixated on the smallest hint of coral peeking from under the edge of the sheet. He took a deep breath to control the reaction his body automatically had to hers. That would have to wait for another time, or he would never get out of the house. He turned to look into her warm brown eyes which were brimming with mirth, and she grinned.

"It is a good evening. But go back to sleep. It's not time for you to wake up yet. I'm heading into the hospital. I'm going to use the night rotation to get caught up. I have patient files to update, and oddly enough they seem to multiply the longer I ignore them."

"Alright…I love you. I'll see you later, yeah?" She lifted her chin and Finn knew what she wanted, and he wasted no time in obliging her with a kiss and wrapped his arms around her for good measure.

"Definitely. I love you too."

When he released her eyes were already fluttering closed as sleep reclaimed her. Finn was glad. She needed more rest than she was getting lately. He knew that her worry about her memories was taking its toll and why shouldn't it. He still harbored a small hope that it wasn't as it seemed, that the procedure while promising, did not lead to anything more innocuous than perhaps the memory of owning a cat instead of a dog as a child. The idea of anything more damaging was not a thought he could entertain, at least not without more proof. The researcher in him did not and could not speculate without more data. It was hard for him to admit that to her when all Anna wanted was reassurance that her personhood had not been compromised. He was resolved to help her find answers, but he wasn't able to give her certainty where there was none. The mystery would stay just that, a mystery, until they could be in touch with the people who could shed light on the subject. Finn would have to pin his and her hopes on Dr. Maddox to make sense of it all.

Finn stayed one more minute relish in the sight of her sleeping peacefully. With a last soft stroke of her hair and his heart full to bursting with love for this complicated, sensual, brilliant woman he turned away from the bed. Unable to pass them by, he took a moment to pick up the clothes that he had flung around the room as he had undressed her earlier in the day. He stopped to fold them neatly and set them on the top of their dresser while reaching for his robe. Like her, he was dressed in only his skin. He recalled the conversation more than a year ago now where they had finally found common ground, confessing that they both had a habit of sleeping as God made them, naked and exposed, and it made him smile. That was still true but, more often than not lately, they began clothed just for the sheer pleasure of undressing each other.

Finn grabbed his suit, jacket, and his phone and retreated to the bathroom to dress so he wouldn't disturb her further. He looked at the display and saw two missed calls, a voicemail and a text from a familiar number.

I need a sponsor.

Finn looked at the screen, and without hesitation, he hit the call button.

"Hey, I got your message. I'm on my way."

 **The Davis Home**

"Thanks for coming. Goodnight." Alexis said with sincerity

"Good night Alexis. If you need me…" Finn raised his hand to his ear to patomime a phone call and smiled.

She nodded in agreement. "Got it."

Finn took his literal bag of tricks in hand then he walked out of the door towards his car. Now that Alexis was bolstered it was time to head to General Hospital as he had initially intended. Finn felt good about guiding Alexis through a difficult time in her journey to maintain her sobriety. Their discussion had been illuminating, not just due to her unburdening herself of her concerns and emotion but also the realizations he had about his own. Finn had known deep down that it had been his mistake alone when he had embarked on a relationship with Alexis when his heart was still yearning for Anna, an irony he understood all too well. However, after hearing Alexis speak about Julian, he realized that she had been in no way ready for a relationship either. He had just been a distraction, an obstacle keeping her from understanding what truly drove her addiction. Now as merely a friend, he was much more capable of being helpful to her.

Finn passed a hand over his face as a wave of exhaustion washed over him. Sponsorship was satisfying, and it was always rewarding to help someone through dark times. It could also reinforce the message of sobriety in his own life but, if he was honest with himself, now he felt physically and emotionally drained from the exchange.

Seeing Alexis in such a precarious state and pulling her back from the precipice had brought his own addiction history to the fore and all of the painful memories that went along with it; Reiko's death, his illness, Hayden, the baby, the loss, abandonment all swirling like a vortex in his mind. Finn knew that And now Anna, a woman he finally permitted himself to love was facing a situation that could be ultimately devastating and, considering the nature of the clandestine, most likely dangerous. His life had never been of much consequence, but hers? It said everything. He couldn't imagine how he would get through another loss, not on his own. That was the problem with fears and phobias; sometimes you never know you have one until you experience it. The threat of losing the people he cared about began to loom large in his psyche. Suddenly his addiction wounds felt painfully fresh. The nebulous what-ifs set his mind racing. He knew it was no use mulling over inconsequential possibilities that he had no power to change and how quickly this vicious cycle could become incapacitating

Finn's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, and the road swam before him as fought to keep the tears that threatened to fall at bay. The realization that he would always be engaged in a battle to fight his own addiction until the day he will be laid in the ground made him feel suddenly exhausted and just as quickly the panic began to rise. The rational part of his brain, the part that had so calmly guided Alexis out of her dark place was worn out and ineffective, and it was the irrational side that was attempting the takeover. He could feel the self-loathing grow thick in his throat as if the memories of his past were trying to choke him. Loneliness, sadness, frustration, and anger all seemed to pool together and settle in his chest, and he felt the weight of it all. It was hard to breathe. Mental tension was provoking muscle tension, and he suddenly felt claustrophobic in his vehicle.

Finn knew what was happening. He was on the edge of an anxiety attack, something he hadn't experienced in...he couldn't even guess how long. He tried to breathe in and out, attempting to regain his equilibrium. He placed his fingers to his neck to verify the physical symptoms, his pulse was racing, his skin felt flushed, and his breathing was increasing. His mind felt restless

"Get a grip. Everything is fine."

He was thankful for the lateness of the hour as he abruptly stopped the car in the middle of the street and gripped the wheel so tight his knuckles were white from the effort. Finn looked in the rearview mirror and saw nothing but an empty road behind and his face illuminated by the glow of the street lights. He dropped his head back. He could blame exhaustion, he could blame stress from the puzzle that he and Anna were trying to solve, or he could come to terms with the fact that his recovery was always under threat from both externally and internally and he must be ever vigilant and never take his sobriety for granted.

His mind made up Finn wrenched the steering wheel to the left and turned the car around. He would not be walking the halls of General Hospital tonight. He needed to go home. He needed to go back to the patterns and routines he had established to keep these episodes at bay.

He was barely aware of his journey as he relied on habit to drive back. He pulled up to the stately house that was now his as well as hers and walked up the dim walkway to the front steps. Finn's hands trembled as he tried to get the key in the door. He finally used one hand to steady the other and was just able to get the key into the lock. The warmth of the house felt stifling so he stripped off his coat quickly and laid it on the side table and threw his keys on top.

He looked to the left and froze with astonishment, his jaw dropping open.

What he saw was Anna, seated on the couch, a glass of red wine in one hand and a large hardbound book in the other. Her reading glasses were perched adorably on the end of her nose and nestled on her shoulder was a very happy-looking bearded dragon. Finn stood stock still for what seemed like an eternity as the beauty of the scene in front of him settled over him, soothing his soul like a balm. He watched as she took a sip from her glass and then craned her neck slightly to have a look at the reptile on her shoulder and smiled at it fondly. At that moment she caught sight of him standing in the doorway. She took a moment to free her hands of their contents and rose to greet him cheerfully, steadying Roxy as she moved from the couch.

"Oh hi! I didn't think I'd see you again tonight. Slow night at the hospital? Or are you still avoiding paperwork?" She teased him gently.

"No. I never made it to the hospital. I needed to help a friend through a rough patch."

"Who?" She asked curiously

"Alexis." Finn looked as Anna to gauge her reaction, but her features didn't change except for an almost imperceptible rise of her eyebrow showing surprise.

"Is she ok? "

"Yeah. She just needed a sponsor."

Anna's expression remained even, but understanding was in her eyes " It's good you can be there for her."

"Yeah, she just needed some encouragement. But I'm home now, and I see that my two favorite ladies are spending time together."

"Yeah...after you left, I had a dream. I can't remember it other than it was unsettling. And then I couldn't sleep anymore. And, I felt lonely so, I don't know, I thought Roxy might be able to help."

"She's good company and a great listener."

"I noticed. I can see what her appeal is." Anna smiled, but her expression dimmed as her eyes searched his face.

"Are you ok?" She asked softly, "You look like you might need her more than me."

Anna carefully lifted the creature from her shoulder and placed her on gently down on Finn's. Her eyes scanned him; he knew she was using her skill at cold reading faces to assess him. He knew the spy in her made could never be turned off; she always was evaluating those she was around. He was sure he looked like he felt, tired and wan.

"I'm...going to be ok."

Anna looked at him and the unreadable look that filled his eyes. She laid her hand on the side of his face. For one moment she thought he was going to pull away, that he would retreat from her and wrap himself in sarcasm and self-deprecation as he used to do. It made sense. She, more than anyone, understood the impulse to back away, regroup, dismiss the unwanted feelings and never speak of them again. But if their being together had taught her anything it was that all the dark places needed to be opened and their contents laid bare, no matter how painful so that the sunlight could chase away the lingering shadows.

"Maybe, we should put Roxy back in her terrarium for the night, and we can spend some time together? We could talk about how you are feeling, if you want to?"

One of the reasons he loved her is that she never tried to pull information from him or comfort him with false platitudes but, instead, waited for him to be ready to share. Finn brought his hand to cover hers and smiled down at her upturned face. He lowered his head and kissed her lightly on the lips. He felt her fingers lace through his hair, anchoring him to her. The feeling grounded him, kept him from feeling as if he was being caught in the riptide of emotions that had threatened to pull him under earlier. Maybe it was time to weave her into all of his patterns and routines.

"Yeah. Let's try that."


	23. Chapter 23

**General Hospital, Port Charles**

Anna turned away and took a few steps away from Finn but he wasn't ready to let her go, and on impulse, he took hold of her wrist and pulled her back to him. He saw surprise flash in her eyes and heard the quick intake of her breath before their lips met. Her lips on his felt good. It was nice to take a moment and indulge in the taste and feel of her.

"What was that for?" She asked with tenderness in her eyes as if she was surprised at his need for her.

"Does there have to be a reason?"

"No." A soft laugh escaped her lips as she smiled at him. Finn smiled back, and his eyes looked at her warmly. He put his hand to the side of her face and kissed her again, unable to resist the nearness of her.

"Finn, what's gotten into you?:

"What? I didn't whisk you into a supply closet."

"True and as much as I would like to continue this, I can't right now." She ran her hand down his arm, and Finn felt sparks as it descended.

"Where are you headed?" He asked. Maybe he could convince her to take a brief moment for themselves.

"Oh. I have a phlebotomy appointment. I'm going to head there now. But It won't take long."

"Ok, I'll be in my office maybe come kiss me goodbye before you leave."

"I would love to, but I'm afraid we will have to put this on hold for when I come home tonight. I promised Felicia that we would go out and talk and we are supposed to meet at Kelly's. I want to check in with her since the whole Ryan Chamberlin revelation. She could use a friend right now. And if anyone can sympathize with her situation, it would be me."

"I guess I will have to be patient then."

Her eyes shined at him, and Anna pressed another kiss quickly to his lips. Finn resisted the urge to pull her to him and kiss her until she was breathless. Now wasn't the time, he knew that- so he left her to go and watched as she walked down the corridor. Anna paused to beam at him and lift her hand to wave before turning left and disappearing from view.

Finn walked the mostly empty halls of GH towards his office. What he needed most were some peace and quiet and a moment to think uninterrupted. He needed to find respite in the eye of the hurricane that always seemed to be swirling around him.

First, it was the mystery of Anna's blindness, then the revelation that she had been abducted and drugged and her memory violated. And to add insult to injury, the betrayal was orchestrated the unholy terror that was Alex Devane, her own sister, a woman who told him in no uncertain terms that he would never be enough for Anna. What was most disconcerting to Finn was that those words were spoken with such authority from a face that was an identical copy of the one he adored. Try as he might to remind himself that she was a known liar and manipulator, her words still gnawed at him. Alex probably hadn't anticipated that her words would rouse something inside Finn that he had tried to keep under control for so long. Hope. Hope for a future with Anna Devane.

Alex's words had struck like a bolt out of the blue, and suddenly Finn was transported back to a night, not that far back he realized when he had been held a gunpoint, and he had watched an evil man trying to take possession of Anna while he was powerless to help her.

I saw a glimpse of my future, a future that didn't have her in it. I didn't like what I saw.

In his recovery meetings, Finn had been told to live life one day at a time. The phrase was not just simple encouragement or a platitude to repeat to himself; it held a more significant meaning. It represented his commitment to sobriety and the importance of it in his life. It was a mantra that he had come to apply to his relationship with Anna as well. The danger that her job inevitably brought meant that he was not willing to take even one day for granted. To love Anna Devane "one day at a time" was to focus on the present moment, and not have to worry about his or her past or the unknown future. A future that could be cut short by any number of tragedies. He was a worrier by nature, and he found it easier to keep those worries at bay when he focused on the here and now.

What Finn appreciated most was that Anna never believed that his addiction was a sign of weakness or a character flaw. They each brought baggage to the relationship. Hell, Anna brought a whole luggage car with her. In different ways, life had left each of them drained and damaged – emotionally and physically, and shame and guilt haunted them both. Finn couldn't help but shake his head ruefully, what a pair they were. And yet somehow they just...worked. Day by day they were building, and living, a happy, satisfying life. Finn as a recovering addict didn't expect perfection in his partner; he knew that it didn't exist. But what had come as a wonderful surprise was that Anna seemed perfect for him. And he had told her so. He just hoped she believed him. At one time Finn had felt unsure about their future and anxious for the unknown. But now, at this moment, he felt prepared for the future and able to handle the past.

With that thought in mind, Finn picked up his coat and headed towards the elevators.

 **Wyndham's Department Store, Port Charles**

Finn reached the shining glass doors and placed his hand on the gleaming brass handles and pulled them open. He had no idea how he had ended up at Wyndham's. He had been headed home, but instinct had made him make a left instead of a right, and now he found himself in the brightly lit store. An upbeat instrumental version of Pour Some Sugar on Me was playing and only a few feet in front of him was what seemed like acres of glass display cases, shining almost as brightly as the gems and metals they contained. Finn pulled at his collar, he suddenly felt conspicuous and looked around in wary apprehension in case any familiar faces happened to be curious as to why he would be headed towards the jewelry counter. He breathed a sigh of relief to see nothing but strange faces. Well, save one.

Finn's eyes locked on a petite, gray-haired woman. She had the same short, no-nonsense haircut that he remembered and was clad in a pink sweatshirt adorned with an Easter basket and bunny. It was Carol. He had hoped she might have retired since the last time he bought a gift for Anna, but luck was not on his side. Finn debated whether he should turn around and come back later but his courage was at the sticking place, and he felt like it was the moment and he would be deterred by nothing. Not even 5 ft 2 inches of sarcasm and disdain.

Finn took a few hesitant steps forward and stared down into the nearest display case at the variety of sparkling multi-faceted stones in front of him. He tried to remember back to when he had bought Reiko her ring. Something about the four C's...what were they? Color? Color was one of them, and...cost? Was that one? That shouldn't be what he focused on. Finn caught his reflection in the glass and saw that he was flushed. Finn stood up and took a few steadying breaths. What mattered the most was symbolism and commitment, right? That's what he would focus on.

Finn drummed his fingers on the display case, then drew back and began to pace back and forth in front of the jewelry counter. He ran his hands through his hair in agitation. He knew what he wanted to do so why was this too hard?

"You need help?" A three-pack-a-day voice asked.

"Uh, sure," Finn said with a sigh of relief. Everything was starting to look the same to Finn, and he certainly didn't want to end up buying the first thing he saw.

"Hey, I remember you. You were in here a couple of Christmases ago. You bought a silver bracelet for a special-girl-who-wasn't-special for you. How did that go? Did you man up and tell her how you felt?"

"I would say that the term "man-up" is a little sexist, but yes I did...eventually. And we are very happy; thank you for asking."

You bought her a silver cuff bracelet, right? Did she like it?"

Finn thought back to the their ill-fated New Years Eve, when he had been drugged and she had been abducted and tied to Valentin Cassadine for the evening. Finn thought with pride about her using his gift to free herself and come to his rescue.

"Yeah, it ended up being a real lifesaver, actually." Finn smiled. Who needed a knight in shining armor when he had Anna Devane in a shining cuff bracelet?

"So what are you here for today? Did you screw up and you need to say sorry?"

"No. As a matter of fact I...I wanted to have a look at, um, engagement rings."

"Well now, you're a fast mover aren't you?"

"Are you going to assist me or should I find someone else?"

"Fine. Let's get down to business. Your girl- what is she like? That can help make a decision."

Finn opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. How would one even begin to describe Anna Devane? How could you summarize in a few sentences the most enchanting, strong, complicated woman he had ever met? Carol eyed him, picking up on his inarticulation and seemed to take pity on him.

"Is this girl of yours traditional? If so I would start with the diamond solitaires. You only have to pick out the size and shape. Easy-peasy."

"Traditional?" Finn couldn't help but chuckle at the word. "No, I'd say she is the polar opposite of traditional."

"Ok well over here we have your wedding sets, an engagement ring with a matching band. Does anything here catch your eye?

Finn bent forward and peered into the glass cabinet. He studied them for a moment but couldn't imagine any of them on Anna's finger.

"I...I don't know if a diamond is right for her." He said slowly.

"Ah, now we are getting somewhere. How about gemstones?"

"Maybe. Can I see some?"

"Over this way." She walked a few paces over to another display case, and Finn was faced with a riot of color. Red, green, blue, yellow and pink sparkles danced in front of him, and he felt disoriented by the number of choices.

"Each stone has a meaning. Did you know that? Some people care about that sort of thing."

"I guess I never really thought about it before." Finn pondered the notion for a moment. He decided he liked the idea of Anna's ring being symbolic.

Carol pointed to the rings in the case. "Emerald symbolizes hope and the future, renewal, and growth."

Finn shook his head slowly. Carol moved on to another.

"Ruby is for passion and prosperity. It's supposed to stir the blood." Finn looked at the smooth scarlet surface. Anna certainly had the power to set his pulse racing. Maybe this is the one?

While he stood in thought, Finn's eye was drawn to ring with a large center stone flanked by diamonds. The gem was dark, and at first glance, he couldn't exactly make out its color, it looked almost black, but when he looked closer, he saw that it was a deep blue and a rich light seemed to glow from within the heart of the stone. He loved Anna in blue; it always set off the paleness of her skin. This ring would do the same.

Carol noticed that it had captured his attention and she drew it from the case and placed it in front of him.

"That's a black sapphire. It is supposed to symbolize the wisdom of one's own intuition. It's also a grounding stone for protection, strength, but also of kindness and wise judgment. Black sapphire is a calming stone which means they are supposed to keep you calm in chaotic situations. It's recommended to wear black sapphires for stressful or demanding careers, especially those dealing with death or human tragedy."

Finn looked up and gaped at her for a moment. He felt like he was having his fortune read. Carol just looked at him and shrugged.

"What? I'm just telling you what I know, that's all. It's probably a lot of hocus pocus, but that's what they say. I've never really decided if I take stock in it or not." Finn looked back at the ring on the counter and touched it reverently with his finger.

"It looks like Anna." He said softly, mostly to himself. He imagined slipping it onto her finger, her eyes shining and her smile radiant. He indulged in picturing in his mind's eye her saying yes and throwing her arms around his neck while he held her firmly and swung her around in his arms. Then he would wrap his arms around her and kiss her, and they would look at the ring and laugh joyfully together.

"If I could make a suggestion…"

Finn snapped out of his daydream as Carol's gravelly voice intruded on his revery. "Can I stop you?" He said dryly.

She gave him a withering look and Finn ducked his head and cleared his throat. "Sorry, Go ahead." He apologized and motioned for her to continue.

"I would suggest you put that ring on layaway. You can pay half down now and then pick it up in 14 days when you pay the balance."

Finn looked at her confused. "What? Why? I'm completely capable of paying for it now."

"Oh sure. I know that. That's beside the point. Think of it as, I don't know- a waiting period."

"Why would I need to wait to buy an engagement ring?"

"I think everyone should have a cooling off period."

"A cooling off period?"

"Listen, I can tell you love this girl. You probably feel for her in a way you have never felt before yadda yadda yadda. But this is a big deal. You are here and hyped up in the emotions of finding a ring. Imagining how she will look when you give it to her. Don't get me wrong, son, it's heady stuff, but you need a cool head when you make a purchase like this."

"Hey, my head it cool. I'm completely cool! I've never been cooler!"

"You know the term "pull the trigger"? What do you think you are doing when you propose? You're altering the course of your life and hers."

"I'm buying a ring, not a gun. I hate guns. I'd never touch a gun."

"Kid. You are deciding for the rest of your life."

"I know what I'm doing. And I'm not a kid. I'll take it."

"Alright, alright. I won't argue with you any further. I get a commission whether you are really ready to give your girl that ring or not. How do you want to pay."

"Uh, with my Wyndham's card, I guess. I save 15% right?"

"Only 10% on fine jewelry."

"Whatever. Fine." Finn paid for his purchase and picked up the black box. He turned it over in his hands, and it felt good. He slipped it into his pocket. He would have to find a good place to stash it so Anna wouldn't discover it too soon. Sometimes her uncanny senses could get in the way of a surprise. And this was one surprise Finn didn't want spoiled. He thought of Robert's attempt at a pep talk, at least that's what Finn liked to think of it as.

"Tell her you love her. Tell her that her past doesn't matter. Tell her whatever stupid platitude pops into your head."

That was his plan. Finn was buoyant; he was ready to let Anna know that he loved her and intended to keep loving her. He was choosing her and saying it was as much for him as it was for her. Finn exited the store, happy and finally sure about the future.


	24. Chapter 24

**Kelly's Diner, Port Charles**

"One day Peter will recognize how lucky he is to have you in his life."

"You know who I'm lucky to have in my life? You." She pointed her finger in his direction and smiled

Finn looked behind him. He couldn't help himself. Self-deprecation in response to praise was still a default response for him. It was a defense mechanism that had been built up over years of personal disappointment and heartache. Anna was slowly teaching him to dismantle these defenses but the smile on her face showed that she also understood that a tiger can't change its stripes. He was grateful that she seemed to love him and he loved her even if they were both a work in progress.

He looked at her. "Oh? Me?" he said in feigned surprise.

"Thank you," she said tenderly. There was emotion in her eyes and his heart melted a bit.

"You said that already," he said softly.

"I can't say it enough," she responded genuinely.

Finn held her hand in his. He knew what was in her heart and in her mind and was satisfied. The sincerity and tenderness with which she looked at him left him speechless for a moment. Then it was all he could do not to blurt out what he so desperately wanted to say to her.

 _I'm lucky to have you in my life and I want to be with you for all the days ahead. I love you, Anna Devane. I don't want to be without you. Will you marry me._

But he held his tongue. Instead, he reached for her other hand and his thumb caressed the smooth skin knuckle of her second finger, the place where he was confident that his ring would soon sit. As usual, the thought of her saying yes made his breathing faster and his heart race. It also made him inwardly curse Robert Scorpio meddling and absconding with his ring. He didn't know what Robert was playing at but he knew he would give him a piece of his mind if he could ever get him out of earshot of Anna. Finn didn't think Robert was jealous like Chase seemed to think...Chase. Good lord, in taking the time to sit and talk with Anna, he had forgotten all about Chase. Finn looked at his watch and he caught Anna's shrewd eyes on him.

"Have you forgotten something?" she asked, her voice concerned.

"Uh...yeah. I told Chase I would meet him at the gym. He's trying to get us to lift weights together, like on a semi-regular basis...but I'm not going to leave you alone after the day you've had. I'll just give him a quick call and tell him I'll catch him next time..."

"No, no, no! Don't change your plans on my account. I'm so happy that you and your brother are spending time together. He's the best man for you to spend time with."

"Yeah, best man... he definitely presumes that too," Finn muttered under his breath.

"What did you say?" asked Anna

"Nothing. Are you sure you don't need me?"

"Of course I need you!" She squeezed her hand. "But really it's ok. It's definitely been a draining day and I think I'm going to go home and see if I can clear my head and try and relax."

"I won't be long, I promise."

"Finn, I love you. Thank you for all of your patience these past few weeks and for understanding about Peter. Like I said before you have been an angel. I don't know how I would have made it through without you."

"I love you and I'm here."

They both stood up. Without hesitation, Anna walked straight into his arms and wrapped her own around him tightly. Finn brought one hand to the back of her head and the other found itself at the small of her back. They held each other for a long moment and then broke apart and walked to the door together.

 **Anna and Finn's Manor**

Anna lay flat on her abdomen and slid her hands back into under her shoulders. She curled her shoulders away from the floor. She inhaled deeply and slowly extended forward and raised her chest off the mat. She exhaled slowly enjoying the feel of her muscles lengthening and tension leaving her body.

It was after Robin's funeral that Anna had first tried yoga. She had spent two months repeatedly hitting a punching bag until her knuckles were bloody and bruised and still the exercise did nothing to take the pain of her daughter's death away. Desperate for relief, Anna had worked up the courage to attend one grief counseling session and while she couldn't remember the particulars of the meeting she had come away with a flyer for a Yoga for Emotional Healing class. The heartbreak hurt, literally; it manifested as physical pain and Anna was attracted to the idea of using physical exercise to grieve. And heaven knows she hadn't wanted to talk about it anymore.

So she had gone to the class and found that it cleared and calmed her mind in a way that nothing else could. Yoga practice became a way for her to process grief—one breath, one transition, and one asana at a time. Now yoga was a part of her everyday life.

She turned on her back and rested in the corpse pose, concentrating on her breathing and thinking about the events of the last week. What was this situation with Peter but another form of loss? He wasn't her son. She knew that. But she was unwilling to cast him aside. Robert would probably say she was punishing herself again, doing penance. And he would be right in a way, it was not unlike a plenary indulgence required to cleanse the soul of past sin, only in this case the sin was not her own but her sister's. Not that loving the unloved was a punishment. If there was one thing that Anna believed in above all other things it was in the transformative power of love. Love had saved her; Robert's love, Robin's love, Duke's and now Finn. She could do the same for Peter. Finn seemed to understand, although she wasn't certain that Robert would.

Anna moved her legs into position for the bridge pose; knees bent, and feet set hip-distance apart. She pressed her back into the floor, and on an inhalation, slowly peeled her spine off the mat, lifting her pelvis towards the ceiling. The stretch felt delicious. She interlaced her fingers underneath her back and held the pose for five breaths. Then she released her arms and slowly rolled her spine down to the mat. She then repeated the move again.

This is how Finn found her. On a mat in the middle of the living room. He watched as Anna seemed to be in her own tranquil world. Her hair was pulled back into a low ponytail at the nape of her neck although a few errant strands had escaped and framed her face. Her flexibility and grace were always impressive as was the way her workout attire was molded to her body. Finn took a moment to appreciate the look of her as she arched her back to deepen her stretch. She must have become aware of his presence because her eyes popped open and she smiled at him upside down before lowering herself back down to the mat and sitting up to look at him. The exercise had done its work. She felt centered and her mind was clear.

Finn was still clad in his workout attire and for her part, Anna found him extremely alluring. As he passed by her to set down his gym bag, he gave her a smile with tenderness in his eyes. It was _alluring_. Rather than her body feeling relaxed after her meditation session the sight of him made her body tense. She felt like a predator ready to pounce.

Suddenly she stood up abandoning her spot on her yoga mat and walked to stand behind him, casually leaning against the desk as if unsure whether or not to pursue him. She wasn't sure why she was following him in the first place but at that moment Finn removed his sweatshirt and he mind when blank. Her eyes widened as she watched his muscles flexed as his tank top underneath rode up as he pulled the sweatshirt over his head. He tossed it on the floor which was unlike him. Then she stifled a laugh when he thought better of it, picked it up and folded it neatly. Then Anna's attention was then taken by his arms.

"Did you enjoy your time at the gym?" Anna asked, breaking the silence.

"It was ok. Chase is a beast when it comes to repetitions but I have my limits. My muscles feel a little tight." he responded simply, enjoying her stare. "I'm glad to be home."

They fell silent. Fixed to her spot she considered her next words and she had an idea. She walked slowly towards him, a smile playing on the edge of her lips. She tried to keep her eyes on his but they kept wandering on their own accord.

"Maybe you should try yoga. It can help relax you and relieve any tightness you might have."

"You're not serious. Yoga? Me?"

"Why not? I could be a good teacher."

She paused and let her words sink in. She knew she had hit the mark in the target of his resistance. She angled her smiling face towards him and raised up on her tiptoes to entice him.

"Come on. Just try it. I promise it's easy" she smiled at him appreciatively; if she was trying to chip away his resolve it was working.

"It will be easy, huh? Am I going to end up on my ass like during your self-defense lesson? I haven't forgotten that you know."

"I'll be right here to guide you and believe me I've developed a fondness for your ass. I'll make sure it's unharmed." she took his hand and let him over to her mat. "Here we will start with something simple, let's see… the warrior pose. Just do what I'm doing." She took a few steps back to place space between them stretched her arms out and lunged forward. Finn took a moment to admire her lean body which was both strength and grace combined. While he looked at her Finn considered her argument and then smiling and shaking his head he moved into position. He shot Anna a glance, waiting for her assessment. She nodded in appreciation and then stepped closer to adjust his posture.

"Widen your stance," she said, standing behind him. She put her hands on his hips and made him move his left foot forward. Finn couldn't help but smile, delighted by her touch and attention. He was already forgetting why he had resisted. That was foolish of him.

"Relax. You are lifting your shoulders too high because you're too tense." He felt her hands move from his waist to slide up the planes of his back. Her fingers gently traced the line of his shoulders and began using soft circling motions to make him relax his muscles. Finn couldn't stop the low hum of appreciation from escaping his lips.

"Finn," Her hands paused, resting on his shoulders, "concentrate." she reprimanded him, but he could detect amusement in her command. He tilted his head and met her smiling eyes.

"I can think of a few things I would like to concentrate on," he said solemnly but letting his eyes wander up and down her body, he was happy to hear her chuckle. He could tell by the playful spark in her eye that she wouldn't object in the slightest. But he didn't mind letting the lesson continue knowing where it would lead.

His gaze turned ahead and his shoulders loosened, bringing them down as she had ordered. Anna's hands fell away and she took a step back to admire is form. She slowly walked around, taking in the sight of him from every angle.

"Mmmm, good."

Finn was surprised and unexpectedly proud of himself. Standing there holding his body still and listening to her praise was oddly satisfying.

"Are you ready to try another one?"

"Why not? You were right it is easy."

"Alright, let's try downward dog." She leaned forward and placed her hands flat on the floor. Finn's mouth went dry for a moment as he looked at her hips in the air and her yoga pants were leaving little to the imagination.

"Anytime you want." He said enthusiastically. Anna raised her head and rolled her eyes.

"Focus!"

"Oh, believe me, I am." He leaned forward to copy her move. His black tank top fell forward and bunched up around his ears plunging him into darkness. Suddenly, he felt fingernails run over his spine to the nape of his neck and hair on the back of his neck raised at the touch.

"Here, let me help you." She pulled the shirt over his head and disentangled it from his arms before she tossed it across the room. The cool air of the room felt good on his now naked torso but her hands would feel better.

"You're doing really well. But try to keep your back flat with no curve. And your legs straight." Finn felt her hand run over his backside and down to his calf muscles. Suddenly he was really enjoying himself.

"And breathe Finn. Don't forget to breathe." Anna obviously had no idea the effect she was having on him if she thought he could feel her hands on him and breathe normally at the same time.

"How about another pose?" she asked.

Pose after pose he continued to follow her lead, at times purposefully tensing his shoulders just to make Anna touch him. That ruse didn't last long but it was enjoyable while it lasted.

Once he was perspiring heavily and his limbs were starting to quake she let him stop and handed him a towel. Anna sat on the edge of the couch drank from her water bottle. He looked at the light reflecting off of her shining skin and her lean muscle shifting underneath and swallowed reflexively. She reached behind her head and Finn watched as she undid her hair and shook it out until it was loose and touching her shoulders. She looked softer, more tender and that side enchanted him as much as when she was in command. Anna never failed to bring him joy in the most surprising ways. With her as his wife, he could only think of how their future together would be filled with these moments. He was determined to keep that flame of excitement alive between them.

He set the towel aside and walked up to her. She raised her eyebrows as he grabbed her hand, pulling her to him. Quickly, he reached for the hem of her tank top and pulled it over her head and tossed it to the floor. Anna's eyes widened and she gasped. The sound was Finn's undoing and his mouth was on hers and he was kissing her deeply. Her hands, as though they had a mind of their own began to trace the outline of his tattoos, her fingers advancing over the taut muscle.

She pulled back and her eyes glinted darkly. She ran her hands over his chest and she could tell he took as much pleasure in it as she did.

"Maybe I should clean up?"

"You might need some assistance with that."

"Oh really? How can you help?"

"I think it's time to hit the showers Agent Devane, and you are going to join me."

Then, Finn did something completely impulsive. How he had the nerve to do it he couldn't really say but the next thing he knew he had picked her up and slung her over his shoulder and started advancing up the stairs to their bedroom. Proving that even a seasoned spy could be caught unawares, Anna was struck dumb from the shock of it but then started to giggle. As Finn carried her up the stairs soon she was fairly breathless with laughter.

He set her down in the bathroom and wasted no time divesting her of her remaining clothes while the shower sputtered to life. Soon they were both ensconced behind glass doors and in each other's arms. The warm water dampened her hair. Her hands traveled up his sides and she held him close as he placed his hand tenderly on the back of his head and drew him deeper into the kiss. Anna's heart was practically pounding out of her chest. Finn was lost in their embrace but felt her pull back.

"I love you." Anna leaned closer so their lips were almost touching. "You matter to me.", she added before closing her eyes and capturing his lips once again, prompting Finn to move his hand to her lower back and hold her against him. He couldn't get her close enough. Anna's body tingled with anticipation, the contact of their bodies was pushing them closer to the edge of control, igniting the passion in both of them.

Through the clouds of steam, Anna looked at Finn. His hair was soaked and slicked back from his forehead, his skin was warm, and he was breathing deeply. Finn's eyes met hers and he was about to speak until the playful look in her eyes and excited look on her face made him this that this was a time for action and not words. He pressed her back against the tiled wall and let his hands roam her wet skin. Anna reacted quickly drawing her hands up his back to wrap around his neck, their bodies pressed together. Finn pulled back for one moment and she groaned in protest at the lack of contact but he lowered his hands down her hips to the backs of her thighs and pulled her up to his body, her back against the wall. Anna gasped and wrapped her legs around him instinctively She dug her fingernails into his shoulder blades and it wasn't long before they were both overcome with the most incredible and passionate heat. Their union was intimate, exciting and for Anna cathartic. All of the fear, uncertainty, and confusion were melted away and was overtaken by relief and the resolve of their feelings for one another. The strong wave of emotion bound them to one another.

Sometime later Anna and Finn were physically exhausted but happy, their bodies stilled and arms around each other in their bed. Anna's head rested on his chest and Finn's fingers caressed her bare hip and he kissed the top of her head. Despite all of the trials and tribulations that they had weathered Finn was certain of one thing, loving Anna Devane really was the easiest thing in the world.


	25. Chapter 25

**Anna & Finn's Manor, Port Charles**

Despite the change of seasons drawing near, dusk still came earlier than she had anticipated. The sky outside the bedroom window was changing from a warm cerise hue to the somber blue-grays of twilight. Anna took a moment to turn a few more lights in the room before putting the finishing touches on her makeup. She was almost ready to don her dress.

She looked over towards her closet where it hung ready for her. The gown she had chosen was a rich plumb, she had opted for color rather than choosing more subdued hues. She felt certain that Finn would like it.

Anna did up the straps on her heels and was ready for the next step. She slipped into the dress and admired the way it shimmered playfully around her figure. She had kept her hair loose, the softly curled locks brushing her exposed shoulders. She reached back and eased the zipper up as far as she could manage and then gave herself a final appraisal in the mirror before adding the finishing touch of lipstick. Anna smiled at herself, pleased with her transformation. She was eager to see his reaction. She had insisted on getting ready in separate rooms. For some reason, she had wanted her dress to be a surprise. Maybe that was silly of her but they so rarely had the occasion or inclination to get dressed up it seemed like it was worth the time to make the moment special.

She sat down one more time at the vanity and dipped into her jar of Beauté La Crème and began to work it into the skin of her hands. As she rubbed her hands together the fingers of her right hand moved over the knuckles of her left and she stopped a moment to look at her bare ring finger. It suddenly occurred to her how long it had been since it had been occupied.

Anna thought of the all rings that had once adorned her second finger. Her eyes fell on a polished mahogany box. She took a deep breath as she let her fingers trace the intricate scrollwork on the top and then flicked open the brass clasp to retrieve a blue velvet bag from inside. She turned the contents into her hand. Two items fell into her palm, one was a solid gold coin which she hastily set aside and the other was a large marquise cut diamond ring flanked by smaller emerald cut diamonds. It was Duke's ring. Robin had been its caretaker until Anna's life had become her own again and then it had been returned to her. She regarded it cooly as it sparkled in her hand, she wasn't sure what she had expected to feel when she looked at it but her heart didn't betray her and it continued to pump smoothly. She didn't feel the need to try it on or see if it still fit.

There had been two others. Four marriages but only three rings, since she had not worn a ring for David. This was the only one left in her possession. She had given the thin gold band from her first wedding to Robin years ago. And the second? That ring was lost to time, probably somewhere fathoms deep in the Pacific ocean or taken from her after her rescue when she had lost herself to amnesia and couldn't remember that she and Robert had married.

 _Robert Scorpio._

She let out a great weary sigh at the thought of her ex-husband, a man that had been protecting and vexing her for over three decades, holding a ring box in his hand. She didn't know what game he was playing or why. Well, that wasn't true, she did have an idea. Robert's favorite game was "Who knows Anna best" even if no one else was interested in playing. Somehow he must have got it in his mind that Finn wasn't a fit for her. This perplexed Anna since she had thought that Finn had his seal of approval. Not that she cared a jot for what Robert thought, but it had been comforting to know that the whole family was supportive of her and Finn. The man she was in love with.

Love. Something she had never thought she would feel again. In spite of her resistance, she had fallen in love with a kind, caring, brilliant man who had devoted his life to helping others. Sometimes she felt he was more than she deserved considering the sins of her past. Their lives together and their relationship was all she could hope for it is. It couldn't be better...could it?

A maudlin feeling descended like a veil over her and she couldn't place its source. She was certain that Finn wouldn't be interested in marrying her. And it was probably for the best. The superstitious side of her knew they were already tempting fate just by being in this relationship, it wouldn't do to flaunt their happiness. But then why did she feel so crestfallen? Why did the thought of him not proposing, something she had never entertained as a possibility, suddenly sting.

Marriage and its disappointments were something she and Finn could share. They had both been widowed, well she had thought herself one for decades until Duke resurfaced. They had both been left heartbroken, him on his wedding day to Hayden and her in a Paris hospital room when Robert had walked out of her life. They also shared the pain of losing an unborn child, a child that had been wanted but would never be held.

Anna felt the familiar prick of tears behind her eyelids and she blinked until they had dissipated and she had regained her composure. What is she doing? She placed the ring back in the bag, placed it into her jewelry box and snapped the lid shut. The past was the past and had no place here tonight. She stood up and smoothed her hands down the front of her gown and walked out the bedroom door and made her way to the stairs. She knew he was waiting for her to make her grand entrance and she didn't want to disappoint.


	26. Chapter 26

**Anna and Finn's Manor, Port Charles**

The house was quiet. The lights in the living room were dimmed and only the light over his head illuminated the space. The house almost felt empty but he could feel her. He can sense her presence warming their whole home with life and vitality even when she was out of sight. He had planned to help her get ready but she had stood on tiptoe and kissed him and said she wanted to be a surprise. What could he do but smile and agree?

So now he stood in the foyer of their house and nervously fiddled with his silver cufflinks. They had been a Christmas gift from Anna and this was the first occasion he had to make use of them. His fingers trembled slightly due to his nerves being worn to a thread. If he were too honest with himself, completely honest he knew that he needed her. One year ago he had poured his heart out in a cinderblock dressing room surrounded by racks of costumes. He had said it was her he wanted and if he hadn't taken that impulsive leap he might never have worked up the courage again to tell her how he felt. His life was filled with the spark of vibrancy that she brought with her and that gave him so much joy and brought a smile to his lips. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. All he had to do was ask her to marry him.

So how had things gone so very wrong? It was simple enough, all he wanted was to propose to _his_ love with _his_ ring. Strike that, _her_ ring. He had chosen it with her in mind, imagined how it would look on her finger and how her voice would sound when she said yes. It's all that had been on his mind. And somehow here he was, ringless and bewildered. He ran his fingers through his hair and scratched the back of his head in agitation. _Robert Scorpio. Damn him_ , Finn thought.

"Ahem." the soft sound of Anna clearing her throat reached his ears and he turned around and inhaled sharply. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of her.

Anna stood at the top of the stairs and began to slowly descend. The rich color of her gown glowed in the light and perfectly offset the paleness of her skin. Her chin was raised and her posture perfect giving her that aristocratic elegance that could make him feel awkward and unwieldy in her presence. But that feeling was cast aside and pride replaced it. He was happy to have the honor to escort her tonight, proud to have won her love.

She smiled at the sight of him looking at her and arched her eyebrows slyly at leaving him speechless. His clear blue eyes burning slightly brighter as she slowly descended the stairs. She was keenly aware of how wonderful he looked in his perfectly fitted tuxedo

"Wow." was all Finn could manage to say as she stopped in front of him. Her dark eyes shined brightly as she looked him up and down.

"Thank you. You look wonderful too." Finn thought she sounded almost shy and her voice had an effect on him instantly. She placed her hands on his lapels and ran them up to his shoulders. She took a moment to straighten his bowtie and smiled widely at him. Then she took a step back and Fin was disappointed at the loss of contact.

"I need your help. Could you finish zipping me up? I couldn't quite reach." Anna turned and looked over her shoulder at him, presenting the back of her dress. Finn took a step closer to her to respond to her request. She smelled of beeswax, vanilla, and honey. The dress came to a V at the back and he could see that she hadn't been able to manage it on her own. With the satisfying feeling that came when Anna Devane asked for his help washing over him, impulsively Finn bent his head and dropped a kiss on the nape of her neck as his fingers grasped the pull of the zipper and moved it upwards into place. There were a small hook and eye to close and once he had attended to it, he moved her hair aside and softly kissed her shoulder. The feeling of his breath on her skin made Anna thrill.

He looped his strong arms around her waist, feeling the slick satin that enrobed her trim and petite frame. Humming with contentment, Anna leaned back into him, resting her head at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. After resting there for a moment she brought her lips together and leaned up to kiss the exposed skin on the underside of his jaw. She could feel the roughness of stubble there against her lips and smell his aftershave. She sighed as he returned the favor by setting light kisses to the side of her neck. Suddenly they were both in no hurry to leave.

She turned in his arms and wrapped hers around him. Finn looked down onto her upturned face.

"It's been a year and a lot has happened since the last Nurses Ball." he marveled at how much their lives had changed.

"True. I remember you saved me from falling on the red carpet and kept me from making a spectacle of myself. What you must have thought of me barreling into you like that." she mused and laughed softly.

He looked at her, wondering if he should answer her question truthfully.

"You want to know what I thought about?"

She tilted her head to the side and smiled curiously. He had a look in his eyes she couldn't quite decipher. It was something that both thrilled her and unnerved her.

"What?"

"What I thought about was the feel of you in my arms and how nice it was to look at your face. It had been months since I had touched you. All I could think about was that I wanted to touch you again."

Anna felt a flush creep up her neck and into her cheeks. How could this man make her blush like this every time he looked at her or whispered in her ear? She hoped he would never stop having this effect on her.

Finn continued "But you had a lot of other things on your mind that night."

"I did. And you did. You somehow got it into your head that I was dying." She laughed

"All I wanted was to make the most of our time together."

"Well, I didn't die."

"HA! Not for lack of trying! Anna, I can't explain how surreal it was that I had just poured my heart out to you and you had given me hope and then there I was watching Jason Morgan point a gun at you. Robert had me go to GH to see if you had been admitted with a gunshot wound!"

She held him tighter and leaned her head against his shoulder. She swayed from side to side as if to comfort him. "I'm sorry for that. It must have made you rethink some things that's for sure."

"It just made me even more determined to be with you." Finn rested his cheek against her soft hair so grateful that nothing had happened to her. He felt her body relax against his.

"I'm glad that we are going to be together at the Nurses Ball tonight. It feel like another milestone you know? Just like New Year's was. Putting our troubles behind us and looking towards the future." Her words were muffled by her hair covering her face.

"That seems to be your manta lately."

"It is. I'm only looking at our future. Nothing is in the rearview mirror."

"Well then, Anna Devane are you ready for me to escort you to the Nurses Ball."

"Why yes Dr. Finn," she responded.

"I'm glad that it's just the two of us tonight." He uttered quietly, his voice a low rumble reverberating pleasantly in her ear. Anna felt her skin burning afresh. Somehow his voice always seemed to get right under her skin in the best way. She reached to touch his cheek and pressed her lips to his. Her lips parted and she could hear his breath catch as he took in the taste of him and felt as his hand moved to caress her face with the back of his hand, but his other hand settled at the small of her back, holding her close.

"Me too. I think we've had enough third wheels, tonight can be just about us." The name of the person they both had in mind sat unspoken between them. They didn't want to voice if for fear he would be conjured up like some trouble making jinn. Finn smiled and indulged in another long look into her eyes.

"To us then."

Anna nodded and to her delight she felt Finn's fingers move again, bringing them to trace the line of her jaw and over her cheek. He touched her delicately as if he thought she would break. He's such a careful man she thought. Careful and deliberate. Taking chances was not his first inclination and yet here they were taking a chance on being together. He kissed her tenderly at first and the embrace locked them into their own world, their desire was smoldering but they knew that they were unable to fan it into flame at this moment. It was time to head to the Nurse's Ball, they were already dallying longer than they should. They would be among the last to arrive as it is. There would be plenty of time for romance later, after all, they were finally on their own at long last.


	27. Chapter 27

**The Casino de Monte-Carlo, Monaco**

Every eye was on her.

Finn was tense but he, like all the others at the table, was riveted. He didn't even notice that there was a smile on his face when she picked up the dice. Finn was swept up in the action with the rest of the throng, all talking and laughing and gambling the night away without a care. He was enjoying the spectacle, watching as she lost some, won more, clapping, hollering and groaning along with the others. He stood wide-eyed, dazzled by the glitz and glamour of their surroundings.

Fortune was on her side tonight. Anna turned towards him with a wide grin spread across her face. She reached out and slid her hand up the sleeve of his jacket and squeezed his shoulder then ran it back down to intertwined her fingers with his. The excited babble of the crowd made it difficult to hear so Anna leaned in to speak directly to him. Finn could feel the warmth of her breath tickle his ear and it made him shiver involuntarily.

"For luck," she said with a smile and squeezed his hand.

Then she turned and cast the dice away onto the table. He heard gasps of excitement and whispered prayers and then the dealer announced loudly "La Dame a roulé un sept! Tres bien!"

Bodies crowded forward and Finn was suddenly jostled backward as cheers erupted from the spectators and the crowd pushed to be closer to Anna. Finn even lost sight of her for a moment in the swarm. Ah, he caught sight of her again but then he saw a tuxedo-clad man place his hand on her lower back as he leaned close and whispered something into her ear. For some reason, seeing a stranger take liberties like that disconcerted Finn and he stepped forward on instinct to intervene.

But he needn't have bothered. As quick as lightning Anna had removed his hand from her and twisted it. From the angle, and the pained expression on the man's face, Finn could see that Anna Devane was making it clear that she didn't care to be touched.

Finn watched as the man hastily apologized. Anna released him and he hurried away. Remaining cool, Anna turned back to the table to tip the dealer and give her thanks and say farewell to the admiring crowd. The multitudes groaned their displeasure at her departure but she took no heed. Anna reached for the arm that Finn was surprised to find himself offering to her, then they walked back towards the VIP lounge. They each took a seat in the leather wingback chairs that dotted the room and placed an order for drinks. Anna decided to forgo the scotch and join him a refreshing club soda. With a drink in hand, Anna settled back in her seat and crossed her legs.

"Baccarat isn't your game. And craps isn't your game either I see."

"I've just enjoyed watching your winning streak. I don't need to do any more than that."

"I love all the games- roulette, baccarat, blackjack- but I always have to stop at the craps table. There's something about the dice. Every roll feels like you are holding infinite possibilities in the palm of your hand."

"It sounds like you win the world or it could be taken away in a moment."

"You are a careful man, Dr. Finn." She leaned forward and placed her chin in her hand and smiled widely at him. It was a statement, not a question.

Finn looked at the lemon peel that floated above the ice in his glass. The bubbles in the clear liquid rose to the surface as he swirled the glass in his hand. He was happy to have something to focus on so that he could avoid looking in her chocolate brown eyes. At the end of the day, Anna Devane was still an enigma. Today could be considered the first time they had ever really talked, that is beyond the particulars of the case that she had blackmailed him into. Now he understood that her words are nothing more than feelers, meant to probe and construct his personality and with which to later identify and profile him. Strangely Finn was not bothered by this. If anything it intrigued him that she was taking the time to understand him more completely even in her covert way. He pondered her statement and then nodded.

"That's true. Taking risks, especially in a European casino, is not something I'm in the habit of doing regularly."

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say."

"True, but sometimes it's not worth the loss."

Anna watched as a shadow seemed to pass over his face. She realized that somewhere in the conversation they had stopped talking about gambling. That world-weariness she had found him blanketed in at his suite in the MetroCourt seemed to return. That wouldn't do.

She stood up and held out her hand.

"Where are we going?" Finn asked in surprise.

"To be a little reckless. Come on." He hesitated for a moment and then placed his hand in hers and she led him past the Punto Banco tables over to French Roulette. They stood for a moment and took in the scene. It was unlike anything Finn had ever seen in a casino before. The game of French roulette was an orchestra of sound and movement. Finn was mesmerized by the three energetic croupiers calling out numbers enthusiastically with onlookers and players hanging on their every word. The table manager, a lanky man with a quick smile and thin mustache, played the role of Master of Ceremonies with precision and dramatic flair. The chips, all identical, give the game a certain elegance for players and spectators alike.

They were welcomed and took a seat at the table. Finn noticed that the layout of the table and wheel was different than what he was used to. Anna leaned in close to explain the differences and Finn did his best to concentrate on her lesson but was distracted. In her excitement, she placed her hand on his knee as she gestured at the bet lines. Finn looked down at Anna's hand and back at her. He's worked hard to take in her words and ignore the warmth of her touch.

"A French roulette table has 37 numbers from zero to thirty-six."

"I guess I'll bet on black."

The bet was placed and the croupier spun the wheel, the ball circled and landed in one of the numbered pockets. It was his color. He had won.

"Ok...uh...I go for a straight up bet. On zero." Anna looked at him in shock and the look of disbelief on her face gave him a sort of smug satisfaction. The wheel spun, the ball clattered until it found a home in a pocket.

"Zéro!" The croupier called out. Cheers erupted around him and Anna once again ran her hand down his arm with glee.

Finn felt buoyant. A giddy rush of anticipation ran through him. He was aware that his heart was thumping and butterflies danced in his stomach, stirring up a confusing concoction of nerves and adrenaline and something else he can't quite name but it felt exciting. It was then that Anna sidled up close to him and whispered words of caution in his ear. To take his winnings and walk away, but something had a hold on him. For the first time in a long while, he felt alive.

"I'm all in. Zero again."

 **The Hôtel Hermitage, Monte-Carlo**

It was past midnight when they made it back to the Hôtel Hermitage Monte-Carlo. The Beaux-arts style hotel epitomized the carefree opulence of Monaco at the highest level. Finn thought it generous of the WSB to spring for such luxe accommodations but then he wondered if Anna had arranged it to make up for the manner in which she had secured his cooperation. The luxury hotel was a haven in the heart of Monte-Carlo. Anna walked barefoot over the chilled marble floors, her shoes removed and balanced on her fingertips while Finn's jacket was slung over his shoulder. Her laughter at his dower expression rang through the cavernous space and she tried to quiet down when she saw stern looks from the concierge and other staff.

"I told you to quit while you were ahead." She dropped her voice lower.

"Oh really?" He retorted. "Because how I remember it was you were telling me I needed to take risks. I think I've learned not to listen to you. It's bad for my pocketbook." Finn smashed the button for the elevators repeatedly in agitation which just entertained her more.

"You had fun tonight. Admit it." Anna said in a soothing tone.

"It was something to do, I guess." He leaned against the wall next to her as she threw her head back and let out her soul-lifting laugh. Finn couldn't help but chuckle with her. She took a moment to catch her breath and then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "At least you are out of the MetroCourt for a moment. There is a wide world out there that you've been missing out on."

The elevator doors opened and Anna bounded inside. Finn followed and once they settled in they were whisked upward

"Maybe. I don't think Roxy would have been at home in a world-class casino and besides it would be hard to find her a cocktail dress on such short notice." They had reached their floor and walked slowly down the hallway, they both suddenly felt in no hurry to part ways. Maybe he could invite her in just to be able to talk for a few more moments. While her worked up the nerve, Finn reached to retrieve the key card in his pocket and as he did so he dislodged a delicate piece of paper. It fell from his pocket and floated gently to the floor landing between them. Anna reached for it and looked at the black and white image in her hand. It took her a moment to recognize the blurry image for what it was. It was a sonogram.

Anna looked stunned into his eyes and flinched involuntarily when Finn snatched it from her hand.

"Don't touch that!" He barked at her angrily.

Anna placed her hands up defensively in reflex. His reaction took her by surprise and she wanted him to know that it had not been her intention to handle something so personal. An apology seemed to be the best course of action and she began immediately.

"I'm sorry Finn. I just picked it up. I didn't know..."

Finn was shaking with barely contained emotion. How dare she! How dare she insert herself into his life and try to make him do things and feel things he wasn't ready for. His grief suddenly felt fresh and it threatened to drown him.

Anna reached out tentatively and touched him gently on the elbow. She wanted him to know that he wasn't alone so she gave voice to her feelings. "I know how you feel-"

"You know nothing about me or how I feel. You have your family. This pain I feel, it's mine. You couldn't understand!"His words caused something to snap inside her. She felt her anger rising to the surface threatening to overtake her. She turned to face him and her words slipped over him like ice, a cold wrath. "You think so? Do you think I don't know how it feels to lose a child? To lose a baby that was so badly wanted? For that little life to be extinguished and you left with nothing? You think I don't know? Well, you know nothing about me either." She wheeled away from him but not before he could see tears shining in her eyes. "You are not the only one who knows what it means to lose a child, Hamilton Finn. At least it wasn't your fault. Be grateful for that!"

Finn looked at her in shock. Anna pushed herself off the wall of the hallway and brushed past him. She stomped across the hall to the door of her room and pulled her key card from her clutch. She was flustered but she turned her back to him and held it up to the door. A telltale whirring sound alerted her that the door was unlocked and she swept herself inside and slammed the door shut. Finn flinched at the sound and stood stunned in the hall for a moment.

Finn walked into his hotel room and threw his jacket on the bed in frustration. He looked at the piece of paper in his hand, smoothed the creases from it and set it down on the bedside table.

 _At least it wasn't your fault._ Finn wondered what she meant by that. What could he do? Wake up tomorrow and board a plane like nothing's changed? But _everything_ has changed. He'd come at her insistence but he had also come to satisfy his own curiosity about the world she operated in. He had been focused on the 007 of it all and not what it had cost her.

Finn opened his door and walked across the hall to hers. You don't have to go in, a voice in his head reminded him. He knew he could still turn around and head back to his room, quit while he was ahead. But the look on her face when he lashed out is imprinted on his mind. Another voice reminds him that he hasn't cornered the market on suffering, it's there in her eyes too. That voice won. He rapped gently on this door and waited. Ann opened the door a sliver, the security chain caught and provided a golden barrier between them. She said nothing, just looked at him.

Finn cleared his throat and began. "I'm sorry. I might have overreacted. Can we talk?"

Anna looked at him cooly and then stepped back and opened the door wider to allow his entrance. She had changed out of her eveningwear and was dressed in a short black nightdress and matching robe belted around her waist. She stood and looked at him expectantly. Finn shifted his weight from one foot to the other while he thought about what he wanted to say. He decided to plunge in feet first.

"You said you understood how I feel. We don't know each other very well and I guess I didn't think before I spoke."

Anna contemplated his apology for a moment and then sat down on the end of the bed and tucked her left leg up underneath her. Finn sat awkwardly for a split second in a chair before he sprang to his feet. He paced the room in perfect circles, counter-clockwise. Anna raised her eyebrows in quiet amusement. Even though she was annoyed with his reaction to her retrieving his fallen item, the obsessive-compulsive manner in which he paced was interesting to her. She contemplated all she had learned about him in the last 24 hours. She decided she would listen to what he had to say.

"You said you understood. And you certainly don't owe me any explanation…" He felt like he was fumbling this badly, but Anna raised her hand to stop him.

"I was married and in love." she offered. "All I wanted was to increase our family, to have his baby. And my dream came true. I got pregnant and we were so happy. But then I lost the baby."

"You said-"

"That it was my fault?" she finished and lifted her head to look him directly in the eye. Finn fought the urge to look away and was grateful when she turned her head and trained her eyes on the wall behind him.

"Well, maybe that isn't the best way to characterize the situation. Olivia Jerome was ultimately responsible, but I should have worked harder to keep her away from my family. I didn't protect us. I failed." Her voice cracked. She was caught between emotions and none of them were good as if the constant exposure to despair had left her with nothing but the things she despised the most about herself. Anna didn't live with the regret, she lived with the blame. She heaped it upon herself until she was almost doubled under the weight of it. There were heaps of tragedies, mounds of sadness that she had accumulated slowly in her soul. Yet somehow every day she straightened herself up and carried on. There was nothing else she could do.

"Wait. Olivia Jerome? You said at the restaurant that she had tried to hurt Robin at the hospital not that long ago."

"Yes, she has a long history of trying to harm my family. Unfortunately, my enemies have long memories. Back then she was obsessed with my husband Duke, you see? When he refused her advances she had an elevator tampered with. She meant for the elevator to fall with him inside- to kill him, but he wasn't in it. I was. I didn't die but I was injured and I lost our baby. So you see, we do have that loss in common.

"Anna, I'm sorry that I overreacted earlier. I wasn't angry at you I think I was angry at myself. Tonight we were out and I was having a good time and I forgot- I forgot about Hayden and the baby and it made me feel guilty to be here enjoying myself while she is out there somewhere, she might be going through this alone. Sometimes all I want is for this pain to go away but then I feel like I'm betraying them by moving on. I don't know that I want to move on."

"I do understand that. The first time I laughed after Duke's death I felt ashamed of myself."

"Same for me, after Reiko."

Anna looked at him and placed her hand over his and squeezed it in unspoken reassurance. Anna understood the flux of emotions that were churning underneath the surface of his mind and that, either way, none of those feelings were really directed at her.

"I could use some air, how about you?" Anna stood up and walked over to the door that led to the balcony. The lights of the city reflected in the cool dark waters of the Mediterranean and the full moon hung low and golden in the horizon in front of them. His eyes were drawn to the lights of the city, like a siren's song, brazen and shameless, flaming like a beacon against the inky sky. She leaned her arms on the balustrade and Finn did the same. They stood shoulder to shoulder looking out over the water. Finn looked at her from the side of his eye. The robe slipped back from her shoulders and the moonlight illuminated her pale skin and reflected the glossiness of her hair. Finn took a moment to really look at her and for the first time, he allowed himself to acknowledge that she was a striking woman, poised and elegant. The silence remained until he broke it.

"So how did you do it? How did you get over it?

She looked pensive and let moments pass before she answered his question. "I didn't. The pain is still there, even now. But I kept on living. That's the key. Sometimes just living feels dicey. You took a risk tonight, Finn. And maybe the outcome wasn't what you had hoped but you are still breathing."

The cool night breeze lifted her hair and the strands wafted in front of her face.

" Duke was a risk for me. I had become as careful as you are with my heart. I had locked it away you see after my first marriage ended. And then this tall handsome Scotsman walked into my life and he helped me realize that I did deserve to love again."

She turned her back to the sea and looked at him.

"I think the most important thing I have learned from so much loss is that when a moment of laughter comes you have to give yourself permission to smile. Finn, you can start right here, right now in Monaco." Port Charles felt more than an ocean away. It seemed completely out of reach at this moment.

"I'm not known for my sunny disposition."

"Oh come on. I think I saw you smile a few times tonight."

She grinned widely at him and Finn realized something. Her smile was infectious and he seemed to have no immunity at the moment. He felt the sides of his mouth turn upwards though he pursed his lips to try and keep it at bay.

"See! That wasn't so difficult." She reached out and squeezed his hand. Somehow the events of the evening had made contact easier. Finn placed his other hand over hers and looked at her. He felt something pull in his chest when he looked at her. He wasn't sure what the feeling was but even it made him feel guilty. He felt caught in her dark eyes. Their hands broke apart and he swore he saw her blush for the briefest of moments but he may have imagined it.

"Well, I shouldn't keep you up anymore. It's late and we have an early flight tomorrow."

"Sure." He nodded and stepped back a pace from her. "Thank you, Anna."

"Of course."

Anna smiled and walked him to the door. He ducked his head and placed his hand in his pockets before heading out. She hoped that their conversation would do him some good, keep him from locking himself away from the world into pensive isolation. She hoped that he would once again have a desire to see, feel and have something outside of his quietness at the MetroCourt. For a moment she chastises herself for putting him in this position. She turned her head towards him expecting to nod her goodbye, what she didn't expect was his hand touching the bare skin of her shoulder. She also didn't expect the smile that is on his face and the sincerity that is in his blue eyes as he looked at her. She tried not to think about his eyes. Anna felt her heart constrict for the briefest of moments, then all she felt was surprised at herself. It had been a long time since she had let herself acknowledge the presence of a handsome man. She had actually enjoyed his company tonight and had been glad of it in spite of his outburst. She understood him better now.

And she remembered that it only took one day to change a life.


	28. Chapter 28

**MetroCourt Suite, Port Charles**

She wasn't entirely certain when she knew that Dr. Hamilton Finn was the man she wanted to marry.

It was a hundred little moments, really.

Moments of tension, moments of humor, moments of heartache all woven together into the tapestry of their lives together. Each thread of their relationship was tied to another and in total told their story. There was a kiss, early on and unexpected, probably ill-advised. They hadn't initiated it, it had been part of a ruse meant to convince those dear to her that she was ready to move on with her life and dupe a formidable opponent, but it was the start of becoming _them_. Sometimes she thinks about his expression the moment after- a little dumbstruck, a little confused with just a hint attraction. It started and was all over quickly. However, she knew that the moment sat in both their minds and that the curiosity to explore each other's lips again only grew as they interacted each day.

She knows his expressions now. She knows what his beautiful eyes mean when they regard her. A laugh, a look, she catches his eye and the message is loud and clear. He loves her. A woman could grow accustomed to being looked at like that and Anna Devane had.

Why had it taken so long? They had danced around each other, even though he said he didn't dance. Then they kissed again. He had grabbed her by the waist and closed the distance between them and left her breathless and distracted. She tried not to wonder why she had waited for him to make the first move. Anna Devane is a woman who is used to getting what she wants. But there is always a price- and she realized too soon or perhaps too late that there is a cost too high she is not willing to pay. And one deranged man nearly demanded she did.

She wished that she didn't endanger the ones she loved. There is one thing she knows for certain.

 _She's not safe._

So she pretended it was fine, that the loss of him didn't matter, that she wasn't affected at all, convinced herself that she needed no one. She was a terrible liar. She thought she didn't need his friendship, his wit, that push to be better and to do better. But then she looked into his eyes and saw that he was doing just as good at being fine as she was.

It was a year ago when they couldn't take it any longer. The dam broke and the feelings flowed out. He followed her to the pier, arriving just in time and exerting the natural authority that he's not even aware he has. His expression is still burned into her brain, his eyes soft and careful as he scans her for injuries. She remembers the feeling of relief that spilled over her as he pulled her into his arms and held her. She remembered feeling comforted, and she didn't regret it, being in his arms. He cared for her and she wouldn't doubt that again.

She doesn't need a rescuer, but she does need the look that he offered her, care and wonderment mingled together. And now she lay next to him, her fiance, the man she agreed to marry. The man she loved and who loved her in return.

She lay with her head nestled in the crook of his arm, happy satisfied and sated. She luxuriated in the warmth of Finn's embrace, her left leg slung over the lower half of his body. Anna blushed at to remember as Finn took her hand and they ran from the ballroom together. She had offered to go to have the car brought to the front but he had pulled her back to him and kissed her deeply then held a key card in front of her face. Whether her answer had been a yes or a no Finn had wanted to be prepared to whisk her upstairs to celebrate or lick his wounds alone if she had come to her senses and realized she could do much better than him. He had told her this in his adorably self-deprecating way that always disarmed her and immediately she pulled him into the waiting elevator and pushed him against the wall as soon as the doors were closed. She pressed her body against his and kissed him like she was prepared to take him then and there. She pulled the bowtie from his neck and deftly opened the top buttons of his dress shirt and pressed kisses to his neck and jaw making Finn think he was going to black out from desire. The elevator doors opened much too soon, so he took her hand and led her to their suite.

"I love my ring." She said in a low voice. Her accent seemed more pronounced when she was passionate. Finn loved the sound of her voice.

"You have no idea how much trouble I went through to get it on your finger." Finn shook his head in dismay.

"Well, now I want you to tell me about it."

"It had a happy ending. _That_ particular ring made it onto _your_ finger."

Finn gave her a basic outline of the events that led the ring to fall at her feet and him to pick it up. They laughed heartily together as they walked hand and hand to the end of the hallway at to their room. At the door, Anna kissed him softly and sweetly, waiting for their hearts to resume their regular rhythm. Finn understood. She was signaling her desire to savor the moment. And so they had. After their toast to the future, Finn had taken her to bed and proceeded to make love to her in a tender and unhurried manner. Their future lay before them and they had all the time in the world, why shouldn't they take their time.

Now they lay together in contented silence, grateful for this quiet corner of the hotel to be together as the festivities downstairs continued on without them. Anna's eyes crinkled at the corners as she held her left hand up in the air to look at her ring, shining like a brilliant blue star on her second finger. It was beautiful. As was the story of why he chose it for her.

She understood why it mattered so much to him, and why it mattered to her. Anna smiled and she worked to suppress the giggle that was bubbling up within her. She wasn't naive and inexperienced in love but the knowledge that she was engaged to be married, something she had never expected, filled her with a nervous energy that set her pulse racing Finn was right, Monaco had changed the course of both their lives.

A hand reached upwards to gently envelop her own. His fingers slowly interlaced with hers, his thumb stroking her palm. Soon, Finn brought her hand to his lips kissing the knuckle of her ring finger while she, in turn, pressed gentle kisses to his bare shoulder. Finn turned her hand over and kissed the inside of her wrist. Anna hummed in appreciation, savoring the sparks of warmth that tingled under her skin. Her eyes closed as he nuzzled her hand against his cheek.

"I'm glad that your ring found its way home." He smiled and ducked his head in that shy way that always made her heart melt. Finn reached over and ran his fingers through her hair. Anna smiled, his boyish endearments never failed to delight her; as did his constant devotion. Then she saw a shadow pass unexpectedly over his face and his blue eyes looked troubled. For the briefest of moments, he seemed far away. Her bubble of exhilaration burst at once.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" she asked, genuinely unsure of his intentions or what worries were on his mind.

Her voice brought him back from the depths of his thoughts. He passed his hand over his face and brooded for a moment. "I hadn't planned to do this on stage with a ballroom filled with people. I'm not sure that the proposal was good enough, or what you deserved. I had planned to say a lot more to you."

Anna shifted herself off of him and sat up. She brought her knees to her chest resting her arms and chin on top as she gathered the rumpled sheets to her chest. She turned to face him as he remained reclined against the pillows. She took a moment to admire his naked torso unabashedly then she extended her hand and traced the line of his jaw and smiled as he took possession of her hand once more and kissed it ardently.

"'I wouldn't say that anything about us has gone as planned," she laughed softly as scenes of their unconventional courtship flashed through her mind. "But I'm wondering, what did you plan to say?"

"Well, I tried a couple of different speeches. But let's see, maybe I can put together my greatest hits and get a do-over? But, I don't know, maybe there should be candlelight and rose petals."

Anna shook her head. "No rose petals and candlelight. That's been done to death and this, you and me here alone together, is just fine. In fact, it's perfect. I never was a girl who dreamed about an over the top setting. All I need is you next to me. And Finn I need to apologize. I'm sorry for my first response, I was caught off guard because...I had never allowed herself to hope that you would want to marry me."

"Well, I want to marry you. I'm certain of that."

"Why are you certain?"

"There are so many reasons, where should I even begin? Anna, you saved me. I felt like I was in quicksand and you lockpicked your way into my heart and kept me from going under. And now I want to spend my life showing my gratitude and how much I cherish you."

"No Finn. You don't owe me your gratitude. It's you who saved me. I had closed off my heart and, fortunately for both of us, you wouldn't let me. You were the best surprise. I want you to stay by my side always. Will you?"

"Hey, who is proposing to who here?" Finn took her hand in his and before she could protest he slid the ring from her finger and at the same time wrapped the comforter from their bed around his waist and he moved from the bed to the floor at her feet. The sounds of Anna's breathy giggles caused him to chuckle in response. She stood up from the bed and held her hand out, letting the sheets fall away and looked at him with an arched brow.

Finn swallowed at the sight of her, the woman who had already agreed to marry him and whom he was going to ask again, but did his best to remain focused. "Alright, this version got the Roxy seal of approval. So here it goes. Anna Devane, you blackmailed your way into my heart and it's never been the same. I think I can say that loving you has been an adventure and the greatest one that I have been on. I love you and please will you do me the honor of becoming my wife so we can continue this adventure together?"

"Yes, Finn I'll marry you."

He placed the ring back on her finger and abruptly picked her up in his arms and tossed her laughing onto the bed. He settled next to her and pulled her into his arms and kissed her lightly on the temple. He was content as she cuddled close to him, her hand resting on his chest. She stayed only a moment and then propped herself up on her elbow to look him in the eye.

"One more question. How many people knew about this proposal?" She asked suspiciously.

"Uh...well. Chase, I told him when I bought the ring. And Roxy, I told her right away naturally.

"Naturally."

"And then there was our Madame Mayor, Laura Webber."

"Laura?" Anna asked incredulously

"Entirely by accident! She found me practicing at GH." Finn protested.

"You were practicing?"

"I think you know by now that if I can be prepared I will be."

"Ok, and who else?"

"Robert. And Mac and Felicia found out from him. And, by the way, this ring would have been on your finger sooner if he hadn't taken it and lost it."

"Robert lost the ring?"

"And Mike Corbin found it and gave it to his girlfriend Yvonne. They are a lovely couple in case you were wondering. Sonny helped me get it back, thankfully."

"Sonny…?" Her voice trailed off in wonderment.

"And then Peter told me I needed to propose to you before your ex did. Although to be fair I have no idea how he got the idea that Robert wanted to marry you. I mean he did take off with your ring but I didn't think he was trying to beat me to the punch. "

A flush bloomed from Anna's neck all the way to her ears and she covered her face in her hands.

"Oh God…" she said in a mournful and embarrassed tone. "I saw Robert with a ring and I told Peter that I thought I might be getting a marriage proposal but not from you, which…" She reached out and took his hand in hers, "I suppose was the moment that I realized that even though I had never let myself hope for such a thing, I wanted it more than I realized." She sighed heavily "So I cornered Robert backstage tonight and told him that he couldn't expect me to try again. Oh Lord, he is not going to let me live this down. What a fiasco this all was."

"True. But still, you said yes."

"I said yes." She smiled and laughed at the ludicrousness of the situation.

Her laughter was his undoing and Finn caught her in his arms and kissed her soundly.

"Have I told you recently that I am in love with you?" he retorted and sealed his words with another press of his lips against her skin.

"No, not for the last twenty minutes at least" her smile widened, and her hand moved from him, fingers brushing against his lips and cheek, slowly tracing its lines. The feel of his lips on her skin had become a permanent addition to her daily routine and she could not imagine it any other way. "But perhaps it bears repeating?" she commented with a playful spark in her eyes, her hand shifted to the back of his neck, fingertips grazing its nape, then stroking his hair.

"Always," he moved closer to her, his arms tightened around her waist. "I love celebrating with you. Celebrating survival, falling in love, getting engaged. Don't you?"

"Yes," she breathed as he inclined his head to plant a kiss on her collarbone.

Finn's eyes met hers and he watched her closely with his usual heartfelt attentiveness. He smiled as his fingers then tilted her chin and he leaned forward to kiss her. A brief brush of his lips to start, a fleeting breath of a kiss which soon turned into a proper one, deep and searching. Anna put her hands on either side of his face, pulling him closer as the world around them faded away. She cared about nothing but the feel of their lips together and their bodies pressing towards each other. Anna sank forward in his arms and welcomed the fire that ignited within her, making her melt into him. Her breaths increased as the warmth expanded outwards, radiating through her body. She remembered their first kiss, shy and curious. She remembered how she shied away from the intense sensation of their second kiss, afraid of being swept away by a wave of emotions. But not anymore.

When Finn finally pulled away, she inhaled sharply, suddenly remembering what it is to breathe. She could feel her skin glowing, the heat that filled her no doubt visible through a blush on her cheeks; her lips are still parted as she strived to quiet her thumping heart. The air around them turned sultry from their warmth.

A new shimmer within her stirred afresh and she placed her hands firmly on his chest and lifts herself up to kiss him. It is a mere brush of her lips against his, but it left him looking expectant. She smiled and moved astride him. It was all the invitation he needed as his hips responded in earnest, his hands lingering on her hips, an intimate exploration growing fiercer as she says his name, His hands moved up to her lower back and he pulled her closer. His body grew warmer as he held her close, his hands moved with a different purpose over her skin in a gentle caress. His touch made her feel wild and wanted, made her arch her back, greedily demanding more from him. She gasped his name while he lifted himself up and wrapped his arms around her back. Anna knew that being close to him and loving him is all she needed.

Her eyes closed and her back arches as the fire consumed her; she cried out loudly and waited for the flames to die out. She half expected to find them both reduced to nothing more than a pile of ashes. But they weren't, and the warmth lingered as their bodies slowly parted. Now exhausted and languid, she allowed herself to rest on his chest, and they lay entwined as the night grew still.

"I'm going to marry you," Finn whispered into her temple.

"Yes you are," was Anna's whispered reply. The last thought in her mind before she drifted to sleep was that Dr. Hamilton Finn was the man she would marry and he would make her happy.


	29. Chapter 29

**Devane Manor, Port Charles**

 _Do you think maybe I can come by your place later?_ Finn had asked.

 _Yes, I would like that_ had been her reply.

And now Anna waited. And waited.

She had tried to keep herself busy and he eyes off the clock. But she could only rearrange her files and the picture frames on her mantle so many times. It wasn't that she was nervous, really, she wouldn't have indulged in his embrace it there had been uncertainty. She knew herself too well, cared for him too much, to be anything less than certain. A bell can't be unrung, and the memories of Finn's kiss was ringing through every fiber of her being.

But other doubts lingered.

Maybe he had changed his mind? Maybe he regretted kissing her in his hotel suite. Maybe he had come to his senses and realized she wasn't safe after all.

 _Never push me away for my own good again._

 _You are worth the risk._

These were the words he had spoken to her today. Words she never thought she would hear. Words that meant everything to her.

When the knock on the door came shortly after eight, Anna sprung from her place on the sofa to answer it promptly.

Finn stood on her doorstep doing his best not to tug at his cuffs or shove his hands in his pockets. He was a grown man and had no need to be crippled by doubt or nervousness but he had finally kissed Anna Devane in his hotel room and she hadn't pulled away. She has kissed him back. It felt like winter was finally thawing and spring was at hand. And now he was at her door and was hoping that he would have an opportunity to kiss her again. He wondered if their game would continue- forward and back, one intimate detail revealed another concealed. He waited for Anna to open the heavy wooden door before stepping through the threshold.

"Hi."

"Hi."

They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.

"Please come in." she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and moved aside so he was free to move as he chose.

"Ok. I will. Thank you."

"Um...can I get you something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Ok."

"Ok."

He tilted his head to the side and followed her through to the living room. He took a seat for a moment and almost immediately stood up and turned to face her. Why did this suddenly feel so awkward? They had sat and talked and laughed innumerable times in this room. He had kissed her in this room. Now he felt like he was staring at her like a fool. The least he could do is start the conversation. The air was heavy with unspoken words.

"Uh, so tell me what you did today." he began.

"Today...today...where do I even begin with what a disaster today has been."

Finn raised his eyebrows in surprise at her words. He should have known he had blown it.

"Uh...look. I know that I kissed you unexpectedly and that probably caught you off guard and, you're right, I should have stopped to ask before I kissed you ...rather than just presuming you wanted me to kiss you... but at the moment it seemed like a good way to get you to stop for a moment and let me say what I wanted to say..." The words tumbled from Finn in a flustered stream.

"No no no! That's not what I meant. The kiss...I wanted a kiss. I've been wanting to kiss you for God knows how long." She spoke to reassure him quickly.

"Really?"

"Yes. It was...really nice." her eyes glowed as she remembered the feel of his hand at her hip and lips on hers. Her hand was extended without preamble, his attention was focused on her confession that she wanted him, but he took it. Her fingers glided against his palm absentmindedly, her fingertips tracing the lines imprinted there. It felt comforting.

"Oh, ok," he said in relief. "You thought it was nice."

"Yes. I thought it was more than nice. I hope we can...uh... do some more of that later. Unfortunately I can't discuss the details of today but needless to say, it is a frustrating turn of events." She turned away for a moment trying to get a handle on her self-consciousness as his eyes flicked over her. " But enough about me how did your day shape up?"

"After you left I went to a meeting. And I saw Alexis. I needed to let her know that it was never my intention to lead her on. I hope in time she will forgive me and I will be able to earn her trust and friendship back."

"Oh God, yes...I have so much respect for Alexis. The last thing I ever wanted was for her to be caught in...all of this. I also had apologies to make. I went to see Andre. I let him know I wrong I was to shut you out. He wanted me to tell you from the start. I should have listened to him. Actually, I should have listened to you. You kept trying to tell me that you were here for me."

"You never had to worry about me not being there for you."

"Well, there you go. I'm the very definition of an idiot then," she said softly and looked at him.

She turned to look at Finn and he met her gaze as if she was the only person in the world worth looking at. He had made her feel safe the night before, the warmth of his embrace had been inviting and tender. Anna felt her heartbeat quicken. Maybe now was their time. Perhaps she wouldn't go to bed alone tonight…

She took a deep breath and moved closer to him, her hand reaching out to cup his cheek. The heat surged through her fingertips and she wanted nothing more than to let it envelop her and melt the ice that had encased her heart for years. She screwed up her courage and angled her face upward and brushed her lips over his, a trial kiss of sorts. She wanted to be sure that she hadn't just imagined their embrace at the MetroCourt or that he had come to his senses and changed his mind about her. She felt Finn's hand on the small of her back, pulling her closer. She could feel his body react the same way he here in this exact same exact spot in her home so many months ago. This time there was no clocks or villains to interrupt them.

What she had intended to be a soft kiss, less seduction, and more gratitude, quickly turned hungry. He had captured the back of his head to pull him closer and she couldn't resist pressing her body against his. He moved his hand to her waist, his thumb stroking over her hip softly. She felt his hand slide up her back, feeling the up her ribcage. She gasped when she felt his hand slip beneath her blouse. Smiling she pressed her lips against his, firmer this time and opened her mouth to deepen the kiss. She felt that inexorable draw, the desire crackling between them. The connection that she felt between them from the beginning hadn't dimmed, it only grew brighter. It was consuming them both.

To her surprise, Finn pulled away. There was a strange blend of restraint and sheepishness in his wide blue eyes and his breathing was ragged. Anna frowned. She felt bewildered and a blush of unease stained her cheeks. She was utterly confused. He had made it clear that he desired her and she made it clear that she wanted him too. For a moment she felt completely deflated. Her confusion turned to full-blown embarrassment as he took her hand from his cheek, kissed her palm and then interlaced his hand with hers and stepped back.

"I don't want to mess this up, Anna. I can't risk it. I've been waiting for this moment for so long. We both have. I want to be with you, I want it to be the right time." He spoke gently, his face rigid with the self-control he was exercising. His gaze was so tender she had to turn away, she couldn't face him anymore. He was right, they owed to themselves to make sure that they did this right.

"You don't think this is the right time?"

"I don't know. Maybe it is. I'll probably kick myself for saying this but you are still processing the events of last night. Finding your son, being threatened by him. And the body reacts to stress in different ways I don't want to interfere with how you process that situation. I don't want to rush you. We have all the time in the world. I'm going to see you tomorrow, and the day after that. You can't get rid of me. But right now I should probably go."

Anna stood stock still and speechless. This was not how she envisioned things turning out this evening.

"But...Anna before I go can I hold you again? I would really like to. I need to." His voice was low and rough but held the same gentleness. If he was trying to keep her from coming completely undone his voice was not helping things. She felt her brazenness flare for a moment and she squeezed his hand.

"I want you to hold me." Suddenly Anna felt an unexpected wave of exhaustion washed over her. Perhaps he was right. She was still fatigued from her emotions and adrenaline running high. She didn't know if it was her weariness that drew her to him or it was Finn's arm pulling her closer, but her head nestled into his shoulder she felt his cheek resting against her hair. She closed her eyes and, once again overwhelmed by the sensation of warmth and comfort. She felt like she could fall asleep and no harm would come to her, even in her dreams. Anna Devane was not one to indulge in fantasies but for a moment she thought about being folded on his arms as being her new reality, returning home every evening to the arms of a man who cared for her. A month ago she would have dismissed the notion as a silly indulgence, but now her head rested more heavily on his shoulder. She sank deeper into his body and sighed as she nuzzled his shoulder. She tugged his hand and moved towards the staircase. Finn's eyes widened, and for a moment she could see him reconsidering his halt of her advances.

She decided to signal her respect for his decision. "Will you hold me? Will you stay with me till I fall asleep?"

"I'd like that."

"Join me in a few minutes?"

"Alright. Do you need anything? Tea?"

"No thank you, Finn." She began to ascend the stairs but stopped to look over her shoulder at the perfect gentleman that stood in her foyer. She wished he wasn't such a gentleman, she wished he would take her upstairs and make her call out his name. But she would respect his wishes.

He nodded and could not take his eyes off of her. She knew he would stay there until she reached the top of the stairs. She thought she heard the sound of her front door locking, but she might have imagined it. She reached for the doorknob of her bedroom door and stepped inside. She unbuttoned her blouse and shrugged out of it. Her shoes and the rest of her clothing followed. She pulled a men's dress shirt from her drawer, his shirt; and put it on. She had slept solitary and alone many nights, wrapped in his clothing without his knowledge. He had learned her secret when he had cared for her the night before. She didn't mind.

Anna pulled back the covers and slid beneath the cool sheets. She heard a soft knock at the door and Finn entered her room. He had removed his vest and tie and his untucked shirt was open at the collar. A lamp cast its warm glow over the room. She moved over slightly and smiled as she felt the weight of him shift the mattress underneath her. He turned off the light and appreciated the beauty of her face as the violet light from the window through it into shadow. The small distance between them was closed by the brush of their hands. Anna allowed herself to be gathered to him and listened to the comforting sound of his heartbeat in her ear. They both lay still, afraid that maybe this was all a dream and they would wake up alone and apart.

"I want to say thank you for looking after me last night," she said gently as she rested her head on his chest, his arm holding her securely to him as if he was worried she would vanish. She recalled the comfort of his arms, placing her shell-shocked body into the bath, dressing her and staying till sleep devoured her.

"I was grateful that you let me. I want to be here for you. I'm going to be here for you." His words caused the warmth that flooded her body at his touch to return afresh and settled in her lower abdomen. She took a steadying breath. She would let him be a gentleman.

Anna leaned forward and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth. It was a wordless reassurance, they were together and she will let him in. Finn smiled and looked away, almost bashful as he savored her caress. Then he placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. He picked up her hand and brought it to his lips before placing it over his heart.

"Don't worry. I've got you." he murmured, his hands soft and safe. A reminder, a promise.

Anna sensed the pieces falling into place with remarkable ease. This was normalcy she didn't know she needed. He would be her refuge in the storm. Soon they slept and stays entwined that way until the sunlight chased away all the lingering shadows that remained.


	30. Chapter 30

**Anna and Finn's Manor**

He closed the door quietly behind him, the silence of the dark hallway instinctively sharpening his senses, even though the house was tranquil in its emptiness. Finn's efforts to move silently were out of habit, a practiced dance that was necessary when he came home from the hospital late and didn't want to disturb her slumber. He had become an expert at slipping into their bed and wrapping his arms around her in such a way that she was able to remain suspended in her own dreams, or at least she was practiced at pretending to remain asleep. Sometimes he would notice her lips curling into a smile and her body shift against his and then sleep was forgotten altogether.

It was late, much later than he expected to return home from the hospital, but Jordan's case was taking all his attention; Finn felt a sharp twinge of melancholy. She was gone. He was alone.

Jacket and keys were left by the door and he made his way towards the stairs when a faint aura of illumination caught his attention. His phone lit up, announcing the presence of an unread text. He smiled when he saw who the author was.

 _I miss you._

His fingers tapped a response onto the smooth surface of the screen. He imagines her sitting on the bed in a well-appointed, nameless European hotel room. They are an ocean away from each other and yet their love bridges even the widest divide.

 _I miss you too. Did you make it ok?_

He had to ask and he can see her clearly in his mind's eye that she is shaking her head at his question. He also envisions the smile that is on her lips. She knows he worries.

 _I'm just fine._

Finn entered the bedroom without turning on the light, not wanting to disturb its stillness. For some reason, the room felt less lonely in the dark. He didn't need another reminder that he was the only one warming the bed tonight.

He set his phone on the dresser and it provided just enough light to undress by. Shoes, vest, tie, dress shirt, then pants. Always in that order. He picked up his phone, he knew he should take the opportunity to speak to her while he had the opportunity and text messages always made him wary.

 _I love you. Is it a good time to call?_

He hit send and waited a moment. He didn't want to presume that she was available.

"Phone calls seem so impersonal Dr. Finn." A cool aristocratic voice slipped out of the darkness and wrapped itself around his heart, causing his pulse to race. He whipped around to find the source. He eyes had adjusted enough to the dim light that he could see what he had been too distracted to notice before. He could see the shape of her under the coverlet, her pale skin glowing. She smiled back at him, eyes sparkling with a dark depth. She looked at him with her eyes full of love and humor at his shocked expression.

"What? How? How are you here? You should be in Zurich by now."

"Perhaps. But I realized that Alex is in Steinmauer and she will keep for one more day. So I changed my flight to tomorrow. Besides I had a promise to keep."

"A promise?"

"Yes. A promise I made to you. That before I left on a mission that we would be together before I left. I think that it is important to keep the promises I made to the man that I am going to marry. Don't you?"

"Yes, I do." Finn walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"And our goodbyes at the hospital were lovely but I thought that maybe a more intimate goodbye would be better."

"I definitely agree."

"Then come here. I need you." Anna sat up and inched her way closer until she had planted herself in Finn's lap, a frisky spark in her untroubled eyes. She reached her other hand out to stroke his cheek, fingers trying to convey the message her words failed to deliver. She leaned in and kissed him deeply, a foretaste of things to come, while her hand absentmindedly moves to his lower back. She brushed his skin until she saw some resemblance of recognition breaking through the wall of concern. He smiled faintly as if to admit her reason. But he made no attempt to reciprocate the caress and sudden understanding strikes Anna like a lightning bolt. It was as if he still expected her to vanish into thin air.

Her hand cupped his cheek again, her head tilted in silent appreciation; his self-imposed restraint was endearing but utterly pointless. If the happenings of last week proved anything, it is that his touch is not only the most desirable to her but also her best remedy for everything that ails her.

"I love you." she didn't mind that these words have been repeated over and over since their engagement. He feelings needed to be voiced.

"I love you. Thank you for tonight. For keeping your promise." he whispered eagerly and planted a kiss on her temple, sealing the pact they had made so many months ago. He would hold her and say a proper goodbye.

An expected spark rushed under her skin, settling itself in her core, and her fingers sank into his flesh instinctively, with awakened passion. Finn groaned, his arms wrapping firmer around her frame as he leaned forward to press his lips on her collarbone. The heartfelt kiss is followed by a graze of his teeth on her skin, delicate and questioning, waiting for her permission. She sighed deeply in appreciation, surrendering into his arms and caress, her silent acknowledgment of what she wanted. The teeth sank deeper and he pulled a deeper gasp from her.

Finn's hands cupped her hips, thumbs tracing their curve, before moving down her thighs. Anna tried to slow her breathing but the air in their bedroom was cracking with electricity, hot sparks igniting with each heartfelt kiss on their lips and touch of their hand. All she could do was thank God she had decided to change her flight and stay with him tonight. The hold on her hips became stronger, his fingers pressing into her flesh, she knows he will leave a mark and Anna was secretly happy that she would take the presence of him on her body to Zurich. Anna's mind registered nothing but the feel of him; before long the tiny speck of pleasure in her core blossomed quickly and erupts with force, taking over her senses.

They stilled, both panting, skin against skin. They relished the sensation of being together so thoroughly. After they lay together and Finn merely savored the sensation of holding her; the familiar weight of her, nestled closely in his arms. He heard the soothing sound of her breath against his neck, enveloped by her warmth and the scent of her perfume emanating from her skin. His arms wrapped firmer as a sudden wave of emotions surged over his heart. This is where he belonged. She was at home.

He was glad that she would return to him soon.


	31. Chapter 31

_General Hospital, Port Charles_

The hours dragged by painfully slow. His patient's load had been disappointing, an endless line of run-of-the-mill STDs and nary an interesting disease or mystery illness that would have made the endless piles of charting and paperwork worth it. Finn _hated_ paperwork, but Epiphany would have his ass in a sling if it wasn't done promptly. Finn set his pen down for a moment and placed his face in his hands. He would rather be at home, curled up with Anna on the couch, discussing her latest case, trying hard to pull details out of her without violating her security clearance privileges. Sometimes they would name a year and see who had the most interesting stories to tell. Then she would regale him with tails of averted assassination attempts in foreign countries, and he would describe what it was like tracking down patient zero in an outbreak in the hinterlands.

So far their second round of cohabitation was proving to be a smashing success. The first time they had lived amicably enough, they were able to understand each other's routines and patterns fairly quickly. But this time he had to admit the sleeping arrangements were much better. No more fantasizing about her from across the hall, no more cold showers trying to extinguish the desire that was rising every moment he spent with her.

 _Click_

Finn heard the soft sound of his office door opening, and he looked up to find Anna standing in the doorway, her clutch in her hand.

"Hi."

"Hi! What are you doing here?"

"Do I need a reason to visit?" She smiled, impishly at him. "I guess I just missed seeing you today and so I thought I would stop by since I had a moment. I didn't want to be at home alone." She settled herself in the chair that was opposite him. "Are you busy, should I go?"

"No! Please don't go. I have a few more charts to make notes on, and then we could go to the cafeteria and grab a bite to eat. It's not the best, but it would give us a moment together at least. And I could use a break, and some conversation other than listening to people describe in detail how much itching or burning they are experiencing."

"I can imagine." Anna laughed loudly at his quip. Finn's eyes snapped up to hers at the sound and Anna couldn't help but meet them and let her eyes dance at him in mirth. He always made her laugh, and she knew that it pleased him. His self deprecating demeanor didn't fool her for one moment. He knew the strength of his wit.

And so they sat in silence as he continued to work. Finn glanced up every now and then; usually, he found her staring at him. She seemed to be studying him, and he was right. Anna loved to study his face, those blue eyes, focused on the papers in front of him. Blue eyes she loved to get lost in, she thought of how they turned darker when his desire for her took over, and she loved to see them widen in astonishment when she whispered what she wanted from him in his ear. Anna had had her fair share of lovers over the years, but there was something special about what Finn stirred inside her, especially since she had been jaded enough to think herself immune from Cupid's arrow. Finn set her pulse racing, which was a thrilling thing, but the fact that love had bloomed between them made him even dearer to her. He wanted her and loved her — the best of both worlds.

Speaking of wanting, he was on her mind. The past few days had been pretty case heavy for her and long shifts for him had meant that the last few nights had just been about crawling into bed exhausted with just enough energy for sleepy kisses before their eyes closed and sleep claimed them. The current state of their lives was work, sleep, and if they were lucky a bite to eat in the same room. Their lives were a blur, but now that she was looking at him, she let her mind wander. She sat back in her chair and stared at him from under her lashes and fantasized about him bending her over the desk and letting him have his way with her here in his office. Anna liked to be in control, but she also liked to let him lead. Hamilton Finn was a talented physician, but she found that his talents extended beyond medicine. Anna squirmed a little and sat up in her seat, trying to get ahold of herself.

It was to no avail, she let her eyes roam over his body, taking in the span of his chest and shoulders which were covered in a charcoal gray dress shirt and black vest, his black tie was loose, and the top button was undone. She loved this; formality mingled with his need to be comfortable. She thought about what was underneath all those layers and how she would love to loosen that tie entirely and run her hands over his…

"Don't you agree?" The sound of Finn's voice brought her back to the present, and Anna was snapped out of her fantasy

"Hmmm?" She tried to concentrate, but she had no idea how long he had been talking to her or what he had been talking about.

"Were you listening to me at all?"

"Oh, sorry, I was distracted," Anna said apologetically. "Could you repeat that?" She swallowed and tried not to look at his lips.

"Nevermind, it wasn't important." Finn shook his head and chuckled before picking up his pen and resuming his work. The sounds of pen scratching against paper filled the room.

Anna crossed her legs and then uncrossed them, trying to ignore the desire that was increasing in her as she watched him. She bit her lower lip, hoping the pressure would relieve the need that was stirring in her. She looked around his office, her eyes reading the spines of the books on the shelves and his framed credentials to keep her mind off of the handsome doctor who sat a mere four feet from her. She wished that he didn't have an overnight shift so she could take him home.

She lost herself again in the thought of his mouth on her lips and her body. She had an idea. She wondered if it was worth the risk. She looked up and saw him chewing on the end of his pen. She shivered and thought _screw it_.

"Finn." She said quietly, trying to get his attention. He stayed absorbed in his work.

She brought her hand to her neck and leaned forward. "Finn." She hissed. Finn jumped and looked at her bewildered.

"Yes. Yes, I'm almost fini-" He trailed off when he saw her brown eyes warm with raw desire. Now she had his full attention.

"Meet me in the supply closet at the end of the hall in five minutes." She ordered before standing to her feet and walking towards the door.

"What? You've always turned me down before, and how do you know where the supply closet is?" He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Well, there is a first time for everything or with everyone, and never you mind how I know where it is." She arched a brow at him and then smiled and was out of the door.

Finn watched her leave and jumped slightly at the sound of the door slamming behind her. He could hear the purposeful sound of her stilettos clicking over the warn hospital linoleum as she departed. He was a bit in shock. She was usually reserved when it came to displays of affection in the hospital. She didn't want to jeopardize his standing among his colleagues even if he had explained that if no one cared what attention he paid to her. He had been working hard to keep himself focused on his work rather than her lithe form and expressive smile. Eventually, it dawned on him what was happening and jumped out of his seat; he removed his tie and tossed it on his desk as he hastily left the office.

He was almost to the end of the hallway and the door in sight when his way was blocked by the disapproving face of Epiphany. He stopped up short and was narrowly able to avoid colliding straight into her.

"Excuse me." He made a move to step around, but she matched his feint and kept herself in his path.

"Where are my charts?"

"Your charts? What charts?"

"Don't be cute with me, Dr. Finn. I expected them half an hour ago."

"Dr. Finn- so formal tonight. I'm almost finished it won't take more than fifteen minutes...uh make that thirty minutes."

"Mmm-hmmm." She said skeptically. "I'll give you a half-hour before you get to feel the extent of my wrath."

"I understand."

"Good. Now hurry up. Don't keep her waiting." Epiphany turned away but not before Finn blushed crimson. She shook her head. "Like daughter, like mother..." She muttered under her breath.

"What did you say?" Finn asked quizzically.

"Never mind. Get a move on."

Finn waited for a beat for her to pass by and then hightailed his way to the end of the hall the supply closet. As soon as he opened the door, Anna smoothly placed mop under the handle so that it was barred from opening and pulled him to her. Finn realized she had already started to dispense with her blouse and her body was pushed against him. She pressed her lips to his. Her tongue ran along his lips seeking entrance, and he responded to her and swallowed her moan as his arms embraced her.

"We don't have much time and need to be quick." She panted, pulling his shirt from his waistband and working at relieving him of his belt. She ran her hand underneath his a shirt and over his chest.

"No problem." Finn's head dipped to her neck; he could feel her pulse under his lips and sucked at her pulse point. He tried to stop before he left a mark, but he didn't care. She wanted him, and he wanted her.

Anna ground her hips against his, and he responded by pushing her against the shelves of the supply room dislodging paper town rolls and cleaning supplies in their need to removing all barriers between them. His hands slipped down to her hips down to the hem of her skirt he pulled it up as far as he was able until the unyielding fabric wouldn't rise any farther up her thighs. He remembered the love-hate relationship he had with her affinity for pencil skirts. He loved how they hugged her body, but access was always an issue. He reached for her zipper, and she arched her back. Her fingers raked through his hair as she brought his lips back to hers. Anna felt herself grow weak as Finn crushed her to himself, wrapping his arms tightly around her and pinning hers against her sides. Her heart was racing; location of their tryst and the chance of being caught thrilled her. Thank god, she thought, she didn't have to worry about keeping her distance or maintaining her self control- no longer had to force herself away from him. Now they were together; she could give in and give herself over as she had wanted to do the first time he had left her breathless. Her knees nearly buckled as she melted into the heat of his body.

Finn returned his attention to her collarbone and kissed along it and downward as he finished unbuttoning her blouse as he went. She strained against him, desperate for contact. Anna groaned and leaned her head back as his hands palmed over her bra before he slipped his hand back to unhook it. She gasped, and her eyes closed as his hands roamed her body. Finn lifted her and set her roughly on the edge of a low cabinet. She would have fallen if it weren't for his arms around her, and he plunged one hand into her hair to cradle the back of her head. His other arm slid lower around her waist, pulling her closer as he nudged her knees apart.

"Finn! I need you!" she breathed, and she could feel him smile in silent triumph. She knew she sounded desperate, but she didn't care. She did want him, and she wasn't ashamed of it. She needed him now. Finn was more than ready to oblige. Remaining clothes were shed, and their bodies collided. Thank god they had this together. Thank god he was alive, thank god she had him and thank god he loved her. They moved together, grateful for this moment. Taking and giving their all.

When all their tension was spent, they broke apart and remained side by side, eyes closed and breathing heavily as they tried to steady themselves. They were both trembling; hands clasped tight. Anna turned her face towards Finn's and stroked his hair back from his face. He closed his eyes and placed his forehead against hers and smiled.

"Ok. Anna, that was incredible. Does this mean you will take my offer of a supply closet visit more often?" Finn exhaled his words quickly. He kissed her forehead softly.

"Hmmm...maybe I will. I forgot how exciting it could be." She said, her voice low and rough.

"Wait. What?"

"Nothing, nevermind. I mean, yes! You can invite me here anytime." She turned and leaned into him to kiss him deeply. Finn brought his arms around her and nuzzled the side of her neck where short tendrils curled behind her ear then he returned the kiss before they broke apart and began redonning their clothes. Finn helped her with her buttons, and she returned the favor, placing her lips to his chest before working each buttonhole. Soon they were both in order.

"I love you," she said sincerely and ran her hand over his cheek. Finn caught her hand in his own and laced his finger with hers before he brought it to his lips, and she smiled and closed her eyes as she savored his caress.

"I love you too. I love you so much." Finn's blue eyes met her brown ones, and they stayed locked in each other's gaze for a long moment before they drew back. As much as they were reluctant, they had to let go at some point.

"I'm going to go home. I have nothing to do tomorrow, so please, _please_ wake me. " She said with emphasis. "No matter how late you get in. I mean... if you feel inclined to of course."

Finn smiled and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "You know that I will."

"Alright, I'm going to leave, and you should come out in five minutes or so."

Anna opened the door and looked around to see that the coast was clear before she slipped out and closed the door softly behind her. She smiled a self-satisfied smile as she walked down the hall and made her way towards the elevator.

"Leaving so soon?"

Anna stopped in her tracks and turned around quickly.

"Listen, I don't mind if you and Dr. Finn need some...time to yourselves. The man being more relaxed is actually helping his bedside manner. And when our doctors have better reviews that help our patient ratings improve, which in turn helps out our accreditation. Just make sure it _doesn't_ affect my paperwork schedule, do you understand?"

"Oh...yes...completely." Anna stammered.

"Alright. Thank you." Epiphany nodded sternly but then smiled before giving her a wink. "And good for you two."

Anna watched as the Head Nurse walked away. She let out the breath she was holding and walked over and hit the down button. She looked across the open room and saw Finn step up on to the platform of the hub. His looked towards her, and their eyes met. Anna grinned as his eyes sparkled at her, and she kissed her fingertips to him before stepping inside the elevator. He winked in return.

She couldn't wait till he was home again.


	32. Chapter 32

_Anna and Finn's Manor_

A gust of wind and rain nearly pushed Anna through the front door of her home sending a torrent of cold rain into the foyer, the cold, wet air filling foyer. Anna nearly jumped out of her skin at the deafening noise broke over the house.

 _Thunder_

She hurried to push the door closed and keep the storm that was raging like a lion at bay. She looked at puddles that pooled at her feet.

"Great." She mumbled, shaking her wet hair over her shoulders as she walked over to the hall closet and hung up her coat.

Anna left the entryway just as another ear-splitting crash echoed through the house, making her flinch. She stepped into the living room and saw the jagged blades of lightning illuminated the trees and foliage outside the tall windows. It lit the room so brightly that it took her breath away. And as soon as the light faded as if on cue it was followed by an earth-shattering crescendo that engulfed the house in its roar.

Anna couldn't remember a storm this violent in Port Charles. Earlier in the day she and Finn had woken to the gentle sound of rain striking a soft melody on the window panes. It had led to led them to snuggle down under the covers and shut the world out for an extra half-hour before rising and moving on with the day. Now those soft, gentle drops had turned into a torrent pummeling the earth with a ferocity that rivaled the thunder and lightning.

Anna looked towards the windows and could see only darkness streaked with rain. Then she winced as another deafening sound filled the air, this time enough to shake the windows in their frames.

She thought she saw something move amidst the trees.

 _It's your imagination; she_ chided herself, staring out into the ink-black darkness of the night. Wet leaves and branches whipped against the window, tossed by the storm. She gasped when she thought she saw it again.

"It's nothing. Get a grip." Anna took a deep breath to center herself. Usually, the quietness of the house didn't bother her. Maybe she had just gotten used to the presence of another person, and his absence was making her jumpy on this stormy evening. A branch crashed against the house in a wild and frightening way. She felt a shiver run down her spine. She had a sudden and overwhelming need to be armed. She turned toward her desk where she knew her gun case to be and saw something that made her recoil in terror.

A bouquet sat on the corner of her desk.

Orchids. Red orchids.

She felt the blood drain from her body. Her heartbeat roared in her ears, and she felt like she was unable to breathe. She wanted to scream. She covered her mouth with her hands to muffle the sound.

"No. It's not possible. IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!"

She scooped up the flowers in her hand and rent them to shreds, crushing them in her hands until they lay scattered over the floor. Then her gun was in her hand. As soon as she did the lights dimmed and then went out, plunging the house into darkness.

"Damn it." she cursed. Her heart was now racing at breakneck speed, and panic had her in its grip. She tried to reason with herself, "He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. You saw him at the morgue. YOU SAW HIM!"

Unable to see even her hand in front of her face, she stumbled into the blackness and hit her leg against the corner of the sofa. She cursed in pain, and she realized that her breath came in short labored gasps as she felt around clumsily for her phone.

Her hand grasped what it was searching for, and she quickly ran her thumb over the screen of her phone and turned on the flashlight mode. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the beam of light cut through the darkness. She held up her gun and trained it on the illuminated area and circled warily until she had covered every corner of the room. She sniffed the air for the aromatic yet sickening smell of smoke. She couldn't tell if it was memory alone that was filling her senses. She thought she was going to be sick. She fought to gain control of her feelings.

 _She would fight him. She would never stop fighting. She would fight him in life and in death._

It was then that the front door burst wide open, interrupting her racing thoughts. She pointed her gun towards a dark silhouette that loomed in the doorway.

"Anna?"

Anna moved her hand to her heart in relief. "Finn…"

"What's going on?! Are you alright?"

Anna dropped her hands helplessly at her sides. She didn't know how to respond as her heart pounded in her ears.

Finn stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "The power's out." He observed but kept his eye on her. She was wound as tight as a spring he could tell.. "I'll check the fuse box real quick. Stay here; I'll be right back." Finn carefully made his way out of the room.

As the pressure of the situation subsided, her adrenaline was depleted, and the crash came upon her quickly. Anna sank to her knees. She set her gun on the floor and buried her face in her hands before letting out a choking torrent of sobs that she couldn't keep inside any longer. All of a sudden, light filled the room, and Finn was back just as quickly. Finn looked bewildered at the remnants of the flowers scattered like drops of blood on the wood floor, and Anna huddled in the middle of the floral massacre.

"What…" Finn was at a loss. "What happened?"

Anna didn't know how to explain the scene he was observing, so she just began as best she could. "The orchids. I found them here. I...I…thought they were from him." she tried to catch her breath, to stop the flood of hot tears, to keep her voice steady. She couldn't say more. She couldn't explain it.

"Anna, the flowers came from me. I wanted to surprise you with them. I thought you would like them. Him? Who are you talking about?"

"Faison."

The name hung between them like an anvil.

Finn looked at her for a long moment.

"Alright. Listen, I'm going to go hang up my jacket, and you are going to put your gun away. Then we are going to figure this out together. Ok?" Finn waited and exhaled when she slowly nodded her head. He held his hand out to her, and once she grasped it, he helped her to her feet.

When Finn returned to the living room and handed Anna a cup of tea, she took it and fought hard not to let the cup rattle in her trembling hands. She managed to take one fortifying sip before she set it aside. Finn stood quietly, hands in pockets, waiting for her to speak when she was ready.

He knew. He knew she wasn't ok.

She hadn't been ok for some time now.

The covert activities she was trained to execute necessitated ongoing efforts at concealment, compartmentation, and deception in her everyday life. It was a strength she possessed, an odd one but one that allowed her to maintain her overt life. The ability to separate Anna Devane from Agent Devane was vital. But Faison...he had wanted both. Cesar Faison had been a blight on her life for more than three decades, and somehow she was still caught in the spider's web.

 _Acute Stress from Sustained Trauma._

This is what the WSB psychologist wrote in her file, along with a recommendation for a leave of absence, a suggestion she ignored. She was fine. Faison was dead. He couldn't hurt her or her family anymore. It was over.

But she wasn't fine.

It started with small innocuous things. First, it was fretting over whether or not she had locked the wall safe in her home that held her passport, well _all_ her passports for all of her identities. She would second guess herself and then go back to spin the dial, to make sure it was locked. It became obsessional, the need to check, to twirl the knob back and forth. She didn't know why she felt the need to be ready to run on a moments notice. She had nowhere to be.

And her gun, taking it apart, cleaning it and placing a bullet in the chamber had gone from a once a week chore to a methodical ritual that her day did not feel complete without.

Then there was the unspent energy that flowed through her. To Anna the phrase "boredom equals death" was almost a manta. This was a common thing in her profession; agents are energetic, restless, people who have to keep moving physically. To be locked to a desk was something she could never deal with. She can't stand to be bored. So she spent time at the gym trying to punch and kick the demons from her mind, but it didn't seem to help.

She felt like climbing up the walls.

So then on the days when the running and calisthenics couldn't quiet her mind, she would go home and exhaust herself on Finn's body. She's sure that she should try and analyze or rationalize this particular coping mechanism but instead she pulls him to her, running her hands over exposed skin. She kisses his lips, neck, face, forehead, reminding herself that he is real and the nightmares of him dying in her arms from Faison's bullet are not. She felt voracious and at war with herself in these moments, craving him, pushing the boundaries they have set for each other. She is rough, wanting to take and take and take knowing it will be over too fast, and she will only be left craving more; fearing that the disquiet might return. She's waiting for him to hold back, to still her hands, but instead, he claims her with equal ferocity.

He had his own issues to work through after all.

He understands.

But she really thought the nightmares had gone and it was a bitter disappointment to find they hadn't. After Finn had moved in she had slept contentedly enough and then all of a sudden she was waking, drenched in sweat, her heart beating like it was trying to burst out of her chest, sheets twisted around her body and her hands raised in fists to fight invisible assailants. Then there was the feeling of a large hand on her shoulder, holding her gently as if to shake her wake. When she did, Finn was beside her whispering soothing words into her ear.

And each time she hoped she wasn't screaming. She sometimes did; shout, yell, and cry out all manner of things. But he rubbed her back and drew her close, and they didn't talk about the things she said in the night. It didn't matter anyway.

The clock on the mantel began to chime softly as all these thoughts filled her mind; things that were wrong and right, true, and false. She knew she needed to start to sort through them; putting them into their proper places. Like she had been taught to do in the early days of her espionage training. Sean Donnely had taught her this. Taught her to bury what was unneeded and unwanted. But every so often and unexpectedly; just when she thought the past was at rest her memories, just like the man, would slip their restraints and hold her hostage. In those moments, she felt like she wanted to bang her head against the wall until she could get the bloody voices out.

It was Faison who first told her that she had a clandestine mentality, the ability to enter into a permanent state of operational mistrust and deception, a knack for manipulating people. He told her they were alike; that she had a gift for shedding her double-dealing mindset when needed, like a coat when coming in from the cold. This was a skill the WSB prized and one the DVX coveted. Her unique ability to compartmentalize her morality.

And to Faison, she was irresistible.

That demon still haunts the corners of her mind, hissing like a viper, coiling around her thoughts, whispering compliments in her ear, heightening her dread. She mentally shrinks away from her memories, but he follows, staining her mind like ink on paper. But she fights, and the thoughts mostly leave her alone by day when she is able to lock them away in their own vault in her psyche. Right now, it's all too loud. Her thoughts scream, shouting at her. So many worries: images, words, broken sentences, phrases. Other's are flashes of light and color; others are just impressions like footprints in the sand or darkroom negatives. There are so many...so many...it's too much.

 _Do you hear the waters whispering?_

She feels it. The aura. Something she hadn't felt in years, not since she wasn't herself. Not since seizures were part of her daily routine, her blood felt like it was thickening and boiling and rushing all at once. And Faison is there inside her head. Everything is loud, so very loud and at the center of it all is him telling her she is his destiny and she can't get him to _fucking shut up!_

Suddenly she felt arms around her. Holding her tight.

"Stop. I can _hear_ you thinking." Finn enveloped her in his arms, pressing his lips to the crown of her head, and Anna remembers why she fell in love with him. He's always there, fierce and strong and unmoving. Ready to drag her out of the darkness when it threatens to overtake her. He held her until she could feel her body relax, and her breathing return to a slow and steady pace.

"Do you think you can tell me why my bouquet ended up on the floor? Should I have gotten you daisies instead? Or chrysanthemums. We know how the last time I brought you peonies turned out?" The slight teasing in his voice removed some of the tension.

Where does she even begin? Can she even begin?

"He would send them to me. Or leave them for me. They were a calling card." She sighed and pulled away. Anna bent down and scooped up a handful of the torn petals and then let them slip through her fingers. She turned and stared into his eyes, but Finn felt like she was staring through him. "Faison never did anything without a hidden meaning or agenda. Do you know about the Language of Flowers? That flowers have meaning? Faison did. He always used them against me."

"How?" Finn asked curiously. Finn decided to see if he could get her to talk and unburden herself.

"Red orchids symbolize passion and desire, but also symbolize strength and courage," she said hardly above a whisper.

Finn took her by the hand and led her over the couch. He sat down and pulled her into his lap, and she didn't resist. She curled into him and suddenly seemed very small in his arms. Anna's strength and poise made him forget how diminutive her frame actually is.

"He was telling you why he was drawn to you?" Finn worked to keep the conversation going. There was more for her to reveal.

"It's even deeper than that. Red orchids are also symbols of determination, perseverance, and…" she swallowed hard, "unconscious love. He was letting me know that I would never be rid of him. That one day, I would come to my senses and love him back. He would always come for me. Destiny, you see?"

It was Finn's turn to shudder.

"Yeah, he did talk to be about that at length."

"I don't want to know what he said." She snapped and sat up straight. Finn refused to break eye contact with her, so she was the one to look away first. Anna rubbed her temples and then leaned back into him, snuggling into his neck. The smell of his aftershave was comforting. It grounded her to the present. "I'm sorry. I have no reason to talk that way to you. Robert said I needed to take time to heal."

"I would have to agree with Robert. Something I know you hate to voice out loud and I get that, but stalking victims report numerous, severe, life-changing effects from unwanted pursuit, including physical, social, and psychological harm. They typically experience mood, anxi ety, and posttraumatic stress symptoms."

"Unwanted pursuit. I felt hunted."She started to speak, but her voice trailed off.

"I would say that Faison is the textbook definition of the term. The obsessive willful and malicious pursuit of another that can lead to endangering the safety of the person they pursue."

"You sound like a doctor."

"Thank you. But actually, I'm just the person that attends meetings each week. Addiction can chase or be linked to traumatic experiences, and I listen to all the stories that people are willing to share."

"I thought if he died, I would feel peace or a sense of relief, but I don't feel that. I feel...I feel nothing.:

"Anna, I found you armed and on the floor after being reminded of him by some flowers. Clearly, you feel something."

"I don't want to. I _can't_ let myself feel anything because then I have to _feel everything_. Does that make sense? He is a part of my past that I hate and he's a cancer on my life. All he wanted was for me to think about him as much as he was thinking about me. I won't give him the satisfaction. Even in death."

"You sound like blame yourself," Finn said matter of factly. "But I don't understand why. Listen, you don't have to tell me everything. I don't need to know all of the details. I just want you to know that I am here for you. I'm here with no reservations. I just want you to know that you aren't alone. I will walk whatever path you want to go down."

Anna took a deep breath and began her story. She couldn't tell all of it. Not at this moment. But she felt strong enough to start, and that would be enough for tonight.

Their past was a minefield, and each has become experts at recognizing and marking the points that caused the deepest pain. They both tread carefully. Making sure they don't they do no harm. The storm subsides, and they end up wrapped in each other's embrace.

Together healing is possible.


	33. Chapter 33

Anna & Finn's Manor

That sound of windows being rendered squeaky clean and streak-free filled Finn with satisfaction. He smiled into the transparent glass. He had to admit it felt good to spend a day doing chores in their home even if he was the only one in it.

Monica had ordered him to leave the hospital and to go home to an empty house had been the last thing he wanted to do. He had even taken to sleeping in the on-call room many nights just to avoid laying alone in their bed. He missed her so much it ached if he didn't keep his hands and minds occupied.

However, when he unlocked the door and felt a cobweb drift across his face, he realized that his presence was needed. This was his home, and when she returned, he didn't want her to think he had moved out and let it be reclaimed by nature. So he had cleaned out the cupboards which led to him examining the dinginess of the baseboards and setting it right, then the mantle had needed his attention, and finally, as the sun began to move low in the sky, it was the window's turn. He planned to settle into an evening of polishing the silver that they very rarely used. There was something about restoring what was tarnished that was pleasing and might serve well be a metaphor for what Anna did for him and he for her — being together restored the shine on both of them.

Finn looked at his watch. It was five o'clock Port Charles time which would make it eleven o'clock at night in Madrid. He hoped she was taking care of herself. She had sounded exhausted earlier in the day and had a busy schedule of questioning potential informants. He knew Alex had her at her wit's end, and then there was Cassandra who she was trying to manage from the field and her worry for Dante, and of course the subject she never asks about, but he always supplies the details for anyway. Hayden.

They've talked it over. He promised to not keep secrets, and he has nothing to conceal. Finn explained how relieved he is that that the shock and awkwardness are over and he and Hayden seem to have found a friendly equilibrium, that he's glad she is there for Elizabeth in her time of need. Anna listened and of course, is most concerned with his welfare. She cares about his heart as much as he cares for hers. That's one of the things he loves about her, her capacity for love and concern. He wants her so badly, and she's gone. But she still surrounds him, her perfume lingers on the bedclothes, her book, dog-eared on the last page she read, sits on the bedside table, earrings on the dresser. All of her things are waiting for her to breeze through the door.

He is waiting for her.

His body, however, hasn't gotten the clue that she's not there soothe this neverending ache for her. So he takes refuge in the shower; ice-cold water flowing over him at the hospital while he tried to keep his thoughts to viruses and pathogens and worked desperately to ignore the want while on the clock. But at home in _their_ shower, he breathes in the warm steam and remembers her heat and vitality and sensuousness. He takes himself in hand until his desire for her is spent, and the craving for her is dulled ever so slightly.

Tonight he doesn't think that will provide any relief. He needs to hear her, he reasoned. Her voice, slipping over him like silk, is what he needed.

Finn picked up his phone and hit a number.

Villa Magna Hotel, Madrid

Anna finished hanging her garments in the closet of her hotel suite. She hadn't had the opportunity when she had checked in. She balanced as she took the heels from her feet and placed them inside and closed the door. She could find no fault in her accommodations. It was beautifully modern in its amenities and equally seductive in its architecture. Finn would love it. She sighed deeply and cursed her treacherous sister. She didn't care that she was in a 5-star hotel. She wanted to be with him.

Her quarry had proved elusive. Budapest, Zurich, Moscow and now Madrid, and still Anna felt she was no closer today than when she started. Her questioning had proved a disappointment. She's tired; tired of living out of a suitcase, tired of room service, tired of working out in the hotel gym, tired of phlebotomy appointments in foreign hospitals, tired of tracking down pointless leads. But she must. Alex may be the key in this memory experiment gone awry. And now Elizabeth and her family were paying the price for Cabot and the DVX trying to play God. If Alex knew anything, she would find her and make her talk.

Anna could see the lights of the city through the window. Finn would love this vibrant and ancient city, and she would love to explore it with him. She had been here before, so she hadn't added it to the list of places they had never been, but she didn't care. The world seemed a new and untraveled place; she wouldn't mind walking it with him. But right now her heart was longing for home, and the home was an infectious disease doctor with a habit of wiping down his silverware. The thought made her smile.

She wanted to slip her arms around his neck and kiss him while he explores her body. And this is why she wakes up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, her subconscious supplying the fantasies that only short months ago were her daily routine. Finn pinning her against the living room wall or pulling her down onto the couch and telling her what he planned to do to her. His voice in her ear was always her undoing. His voice always set every nerve in her body on fire.

The air felt unbearably heavy, and she moved to stand in front of the air conditioner. It's not the humid Spanish summer that is making her warm; it's the thought of his eyes looking at her, bathing her in love that he feels for her. The weight of the sapphire ring on her left hand an ever-present reminder of the promise they have made to each other. The promise to stay together through thick and thin.

Unbidden though the images came. Of his hands-on her...and his face as she kissed him...and the sound of their breathing mingled together. Anna quickly shook her head, embarrassed at how her own breath came quicker as her thoughts roamed. She stood up and began to pace her hotel room. Perhaps walking would help cool her blood. But her mind continued to wander. His eyes meet her own, a small smile on his lips, and it makes her catch her breath. He takes her in his arms, and his lips are on her cheek, then her jaw. His fingers trail down her ribs and over her hips and lower, pulling her to him and she…

The sudden buzz of her phone made her jump.

She's embarrassed to find herself thoroughly aroused, her face probably flushed and eyes clouded. Being apart from him is getting to her.

She smiled to see who the caller was.

She ran her thumb over the screen of her phone and was rewarded with his greeting and was quick in her reply.

"Hi, there! How are you? How is everything coming?" Then she feels foolish at her choice of words. Jesus, Anna, get a grip. "I mean, how did your day go?"

"Fine. It was fine. Sasha is turning a corner. But I don't want to go into any of that. I don't know...I just wanted to talk to you. I wanted to hear your voice while I think about you. Do you mind? Can you just talk to me? I need you."

"Talk to you? About anything in particular?" Suddenly her heart is in her chest, thumping wildly at what the tone in his voice is insinuating.

"Can we talk about you? Maybe you could tell me what you are wearing right now, or not wearing. That would be even better."

"Finn…" She smiled and leaned against the wall, her eyes closed, imagining him in their home, almost clear enough to touch. Just that image alone made her feel like she was losing control over her own body. This is how they began in Berkley, talking on the phone in separate hotel rooms only to end up sharing one bed. Now an ocean separated them, but the sound of his voice was a tether that was connected straight to her heart and...other more intimate places as well.

"What? You don't want to have a conversation?" There was teasing in his voice. He knew what she wanted, and she can almost hear the smile on his face. She realizes he's missed her and wants her almost as much as she does him. And she wanted him so so badly.

"Hmmm. Where should I start?"

"I don't know. Anna, I just want to hear your voice. Maybe tell me about your dreams."

"My dreams?" She asked, surprised. "Like my dreams at night?" She couldn't suppress the laugh that was bubbling under the surface as they talked.

"Yeah, sometimes our dreams are our subconscious telling us what we need. What do you need Anna?" She imagined his eyes growing dark as he asked the question that he knew the answer too.

"I need you." Anna's voice was low and husky, and Finn could tell from the breathiness in his ear that she is telling the truth. "Close your eyes and listen to my voice," she commanded softly. "It's been too long since we've been together and all I dream about is you." she drags on her words and visualizes the two of them in their bedroom on a late evening, the stress of the day tearing them down until they are both raw and needy.

"Oh, I think you should tell me about it. Do you want me to let you talk through it, Anna?" He said in a rough whisper.

"Let's see if I can remember. Ah, yes I think I remember tracing my fingers along your chest and down your abdomen." Even though they are just talking her fingers twitched, craving his skin, itching to reenact the story she is telling. "I take the time to feel your arms, and run my hands down the muscles of your back..."

"Hey, you're not going to take the time to undress me?"His voice interrupted her.

"This is my dream, I make the rules, and you start the way I want you. And, for the purposes of this dream, that is naked."

"Alright. I won't argue or interrupt. Please continue."

She began again, taking the time to tell him how he likes to be touched; how she likes to touch him. She is drifting, immersing herself in the memory of him, and as each word falls from her lips, she feels herself sinking deeper and deeper into arousal. She closed her eyes while she rested the phone against her cheek. Her hand curved down the line of her neck to her clavicle, touching the soft skin at the neckline of her blouse, a spot that Finn loved to pay attention to. She couldn't stop her hands from skimming over her own body nor did she want to. Her fingers slipped beneath her skirt, pressing sensitive areas, feeling for that bundle of nerves that was already responding to the sound of his voice and what her body remembers. She couldn't help the hum in the back of her throat when she pictured his hands where hers were venturing, and his mouth following. "Your hands slide down my body until I can feel you lifting me. God Finn, you feel so good..."

Finn's breathing was labored, his own body responding to her breathy gasps as she continued to tell him what she wants from him. He closed his eyes, and in his mind's eye, he has her bent over on the bed, her lean back fully exposed to him. She's gripping at the mahogany wood of the headboard. When he thrusts into her the first time she gasps from the sudden pressure, and arches her back, her spine looking like a string of pearls in the moonlight. She's telling him not to stop, that she needs him, that she wants him.

"Anna!" Finn gripped himself to her words, and she could hear his hot breath on the line, knowing the pleasure that her voice is giving him. His breath hitched, and he said her name again.

Jesus, the raspy sound of his voice was almost enough to send her over the edge. "Finn, you always feel incredible."

"I can never get enough of you."

Anna hears the hunger in his voice, and she wants nothing more than to feed it with her body, her mind, and with her soul. She loves him. Now his voice is telling her what he wants, what he dreams about. The sounds traveling across the Atlantic and through the Ether became frantic. She can hear him saying her name, and the thought of him touching himself is driving her own hands to a frenzy as well. Her hips are moving, her body searching for his in the emptiness of her hotel room. She's so close, she bit her lip to keep from completely unraveling, but it's too late.

"Ahhh. Finn!" Anna let out a keening cry, her body arching up from the bed as her dark head sank deeper into the pillows. Her muscles tensed as she brought herself to the brink and her toes curl as the overwhelming pleasure takes over her entire body. Finn strokes himself faster, imagining that his slick hands are her and soon he's there, groaning exhausted into her ear. They're both breathing heavily into the phone, gasping for air. Their gasps slow enough to keep time with one another, merging into one single sound. When she has control of herself again, her voice was a velvet whisper in his ear.

"Call me again tomorrow, this same time. I have other dreams you might be interested in."


	34. Chapter 34

Prague, Czech Republic

The red-eye from London to Prague had drained Anna of any energy that she had remaining. She was grateful that a driver was waiting to take her from the airport to the hotel. She slid into the back seat and tilted her head back. Anna was mostly silent, and the driver who spoke little English was content to let her ride without the need for forced conversation. She was in the mood to talk, but the man whose voice she wanted to hear should be fast asleep, it was 3 am in Port Charles, after all.

She glanced out the window as the light began to illuminate the scenery noting, as they drew closer to the city, the mixture of opulent pre-war architecture interspersed with harsh lines of the Communist-era structures. It had been almost a decade since she had been in Prague, but the memory was faded now. She knew she had been on assignment, but for the life of her, she couldn't remember the case or why it had brought her here. Her whole career was becoming a blur, all the countries melting together like watercolor on paper.

Prague's dominant hues were stone in shades of grey highlighted by rust-colored roofs.

Today she had the luck of clear skies and fair weather. However, her luck ran out when they pulled up to a hotel that had seen better days. The WSB was still footing the bill for this caper, but she found that her accommodations were becoming increasingly threadbare as the weeks stretched into months. God, she missed home.

Alone in her room, Anna walked over to the window and stared out at the city below. If only she could enjoy it. Once again, she was in a city that she'd rather enjoyed with Finn. They had toyed with the idea of meeting up for a long weekend, but between her being in a new city almost every night and the demands of his patients, they hadn't gotten it together. And she could hear his voice turning from understanding to quiet frustration each time he asked her when she would come home, and she responded that she didn't know. She knew it was because he missed her. He probably thought that this wasn't what he signed up for when he asked her to marry him.

She couldn't blame him if he did.

With a sigh, she heaved her suitcase up onto the bed and examined its contents. She didn't even bother to unpack it into the dingy bureau. She probably wouldn't be staying long enough to go through the effort. Anna grabbed some fresh clothes and stepped into the cramped bathroom to shower. The warm spray was soothing, even if the water pressure left a lot to be desired. The water in combination with indulging in thoughts of Finn where enough to wake her and get her blood pumping and an hour later she felt revived in fresh clothes. She contemplated foraging out for some food and good Czech beer when she heard a steady _rap rap rap_ on her hotel door.

Anna instinctively reached for her weapon. She looked through the peephole, and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Incredible…" she said under her breath, then quickly twisted the locks and threw the door open.

"You know," she said with her arms crossed "I've been told I shouldn't open my door to strangers."

"Even a stranger with Johnnie Walker Blue Label?" John McBain leaned against the door frame and held up the bottle for her to inspect. He couldn't hold back a wry smile. "The last time we saw each other, we shared a drink, and I thought it was time that we did it again. And a drink hello is always better than a drink good-bye"

Anna arched an eyebrow, and McBain then held his arms out awkwardly. She walked into his embrace and clapped him so hard on the back she heard him let out an _oof_ under his breath.

She pulled back and looked at him at arm's length. He was a little grayer than she remembered, and maybe a tad thinner, but the leather jacket was the same- a good investment. His sardonic smile was also the same. But her shrewd appraisal found the biggest difference was in his eyes. There was a hardness within those sky blue orbs that spoke of hardship and a man who had seen more of the seedy underbelly of the world than most would ever be exposed to. Anna reckoned that that look was in her eyes too. Getting kicked in the shins by life was what drew them together in a bond of comradeship along with the futile fight for justice that they were both engaged in. That was something she could only share with a few- and every year, that circle grew smaller and smaller.

She smiled incredulously. "A drink? It's ten o'clock in the morning."

"It's morning here, but it's not where I came from. I'm still on Singapore time."

"If I had known that I could email you for assistance and find you at my door the next day, I would have done it sooner. But how are you here? The WSB said that they couldn't stretch their resources any further in the Intelligence Division, and they didn't seem interested in asking for Interagency help, which isn't surprising considering that they are embarrassed to have another security breach at Steinmauer. I never expected a house-call."

"I didn't have anything better to do."

"Reading the interagency case briefs on the WSB wire would say differently."

"You checking up on me?"

"I notice your name when I come across it."

"Alright, I needed a change of scenery. And I wouldn't pass up a chance to see an old friend."

"So catching up in a seedy motel and having a scotch every seven years can become our tradition?"

"There are worse ones." He shrugged and then walked in and set about pouring a generous about of the amber liquid into paper cups. He pressed one into her hand and raised his own. "Cheers."

"Cheers." Anna took a long swig and appreciated the delicious burn at the back of her throat. "Hmmm, so you never call, you never write…."

"And neither do you." He grinned broadly at her.

"Touche," she replied with a chuckle.

John did a slow circuit of the room, which took him only a few steps. "Typical bureaucracy though, they lose a perp and want you to clean it up for them. I was surprised when I got your request for help on this case. You don't usually ask for help. And if you do, it's usually Agent Scorpio that you call."

"How do you know that?"

"Everyone knows that," he said levelly.

"Well, Robert is engaged with different work right now."

"Oh right, his _retirement_. It is a bummer to know that one day we will all be pushed out whether we are ready or not. Robert Scorpio is a legend, and the World Service Bureau is lesser without him."

Anna smiled. "He would agree with you."

"So before we start in on that tempting pile of files, why don't you catch me up on some Port Charles news. Starting with that distractingly large ring on your finger."

Anna felt her cheeks betray her as he looked down at the sapphire and diamonds on her second finger.

"I'm engaged." She said flatly. She was at a loss at what else to say, so she said nothing more.

"Yes, I can see that. So who's the guy?"

"His name is Hamilton Finn. _Doctor_ Hamilton Finn. He goes by his last name. He works at General Hospital. Finn specializes in infectious diseases."

"A doctor? Ok. Nice. Infectious disease? That can be useful as an asset."

Anna rolled her eyes. "He's my fiance, not an asset," she said with more of an edge than she meant.

John's eyebrows shot up, and he eyed her suspiciously. Anna knew he was cold reading her, and she cursed internally at his skill.

"Then how did you two meet?" McBain looked knowingly at her until her cheeks flamed.

Damn him and his profiling skills. There was no way she was going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that she had blackmailed Finn into her investigation and by proxy into her life, and then he had ended up in her bed.

"You don't really care." she sidestepped.

"Maybe, but I know how to be polite."

He didn't miss a beat, but even so, Anna could feel him making an assessment of her state of mind. She could see him note the neutrality of her smile, the impassiveness she held herself to in his presence. This is how it is with people in their line of business, concealing emotions and feelings even when there was no need to. Oh well, old habits as they say.

"It doesn't really matter." She sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled her legs underneath her. "We fell in love, and we are engaged. Nothing more to be said on the matter."

"You can be as blase as you like about it," he challenged, his blue eyes sparkling. "But you know what? Your rehearsed aloofness doesn't fool me. You really do love this guy." He poured another finger of scotch into his cup and downed it in one swallow. "I have to admit I'm a little surprised. I guess I assumed you weren't the marrying kind."

"Well, that's presumptuous," she said pointedly, but she couldn't meet his eyes, so she turned them to the paper cup that was in her hands. She could feel him watching her. "Alright, alright. Neither did I." she admitted. Her features softened as Anna remembered the Nurse's Ball and the bright lights of the stage, dazzling her eyes and a ring falling at her feet. What was clearest in her mind was his eyes looking and her with a mixture of fear and hope. "And then Finn was down on one knee, and I couldn't see myself saying anything other than yes." Anna smiled softly to herself in quiet acknowledgment as they sat in silence. Eventually, John cleared his throat and continued.

"Well, he's a lucky man. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you." she looked at John for a moment and frowned slightly as if she was trying to puzzle something out. "You know, now that I think about it, there is something about him that reminds me of you a bit." Then she shook her head and chuckled. "Personality-wise you couldn't be more different. Actually, maybe it's just the fact that you both have blue eyes. "

"Hopefully that is where it ends, I don't need another doppelganger. Getting mistaken for a vampire cured me of wanting to have a twin."

"Having a twin has cured me of wanting to have a twin," Anna said cynically.

"So you asked about Port Charles, but I don't think you were really interested in me, so why don't you ask the questions you really want to?"

"I don't have any pressing questions."

"Really? I thought you might ask about Sam Morgan." She raised her brows and gestures in his direction. She hid a satisfied smile when she saw him squirm. He wasn't the only one who could read a room.

"Why would I ask about her?"

"Did you know that Jason returned. It was a shock to all of us."

"People returning from the dead seems to be Port Charles' claim to fame. Robin, Jason...even you."

"He and Sam are back together." Anna saw a muscle tightening in McBain's jaw, and he crushed the paper cup in his hand before tossing it into the waste bin. He opened his mouth to speak but seemed to change his mind. Instead, he stood and looked out the window in silence for a full minute before continuing.

"Having both his parents has got to mean a lot to Danny. He was a good kid."

"And what about your boy?" Anna knew she shouldn't press too hard, but she wondered if he needed an outlet as much as she did. Their world was isolating.

"Liam? Well, his mom and I still have our ups and downs, and of course, work keeps me busy, but I try to do what I can to make time."

"You know Sam talked with me after you left. She did really care about you, and I would say she regretted how things were left between you."

John visibly brightened for a moment but then shrugged. "Sam is in the past. I should probably leave her there."

Anna decided to make one more push into his psyche. "If I left everything in the past, then I might never have let myself fall in love again. In fact, I almost didn't. I think you should keep an open mind and an open heart. Were you in love with her?" Anna asked.

John stared at her for a full minute and then looked away. "I don't know how to answer that. When I first met Sam, it was like, I don't know...Like I'd known her forever. The connection was…" he shrugged, "like nothing I'd experienced before. Obviously, the idea of reincarnation or living past lives is a fantasy, but for a short time in Port Charles, I was as close to belief as I could be. As for Sam, I think about the last time I saw her, and I wonder if I had stayed if I could have proven to her that we could have made it work together. Sometimes I regret not staying and helping her through her grief."

Anna looked at him. Then she decided to push in. "Maybe you were using the WSB as an excuse to run away?" she asked.

"Maybe you know something about running away too?"

Anna stared at him slack-jawed, the recovered. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and began to fiddle with the collar of her shirt, which suddenly felt tight.

"What do you mean?" she murmured quietly between gritted teeth. It was her turn to pace the room.

McBain shrugged as harmlessly as he could manage, his infuriating smile never faltering. "Why are you here in Prague doing the WSB's work for them when you could be in Port Charles with the man you have agreed to marry?"

"I miss him. I want to be with him. He understands, though. I have the responsibility of finding Alex. Not just for me, but for other people in Port Charles that I care about. Other families that have been affected by her cooperation with the DVX. And Finn has some business he needs to attend to, and I think it's better if he faces it on his own so he can be sure- wait! Why and I even talking to you about this? Finn has nothing to do with this manhunt.

Anna picked up a file from the pile and flipped it open. She slid her reading glasses into place and pointed to the page in front of her "So the last update I had was that Alex was seen at a safe house that is used by a Balken organized crime cell that has set up in Prague. At least six important Balkan crime figures and their groups operate in Prague. These include the Darko Šarić group, Andrija Drašković, Milan Narančić, the Qasim Osmani family, Borislav Plavšić's group and the Ismet Osmani clan. Alex has ties to all of them, but not all are friendly ties. I think if I question-"

John McBain walked over and took the folder from her hands and set it down. "Sorry, Anna, you don't get off that easy. Backup for a minute. Sure of what? What do you want Finn to be sure of?" He looked at her meaningfully with a burning concentration.

Anna felt suddenly self-conscious and a sharp response formed on her tongue, but she didn't have the desire to let it fly. The burden of the last four months she had carried alone, and it weighed so heavily on her. Maybe it was that her vulnerability was at an all-time high or the relief of seeing a familiar face brought her feelings to the surface, or event the scotch that played a role but she Anna lifted a tired face to John's.

"Sure that proposing to me was what he wanted," she said quietly, not able to meet his eyes.

"Are men likely to ask a woman to marry them if they don't really want to?"

It was then that Anna broke. All of the concerns and fears she had held inside since Hayden asked him to meet her in Rome to when Anna received the voicemail from Finn that Hayden had returned to Port Charles. Anna knew better than most that the memory of a former lover was different, confronting them in the flesh. He stood and listened as she talked. She poured her heart out and felt hollow once she was finished.

John walked over and placed his hand on her shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. Anna placed hers on top and gripped his hand in return, grateful for his silent comfort. Somehow, she knew he understood.

McBain stood up and heaved the stack of files on to the bureau before he began to leaf through them. Anna heaved a sigh of relief that he was ready to give her a reprieve from her sore heart.

.

"Alright, so tell me about this devious sister of yours."

Anna smiled with gratitude that he was letting her push her feelings back into their vault. Keeping them locked up tight was the only way she knew how to get through the days.

"Alex is a master at instilling subjective validation into unsuspecting individuals. There are too many what-ifs and hear-says surrounding her. I have reports from intelligence, but everything has to be cross-referenced with my whereabouts because Alex is known for impersonating me."

"Great. It sounds like she's a real peach. Don't worry; she can't hide forever. You know what, though? We are in need of a change of scenery."

A sly smile on McBain's face caught her by surprise- the sort of which many years ago would have signaled that she was going to be spending a lot of time in front of their superiors trying to shield him from a reprimand. It gave her more than one reason to pause.

John saw her hesitation, "Come on! You trust me, don't you? I know that I can count the number of people I trust on the one hand, but you are at least in the top three."

He threw her jacket to her and tucked files under his arm, watching her from the corner of his eye as though he had a secret.

"I know the perfect place."

Anna didn't get so much as a word in before he was headed to the door brimming with an almost infectious aura of conspiracy that made her wonder what he had up his sleeve. Already several strides ahead, he through a quick glance behind him- clearly relishing her wondering look. Her interest slipped into a kind of guarded suspicion, her eyes narrowing but a smile on her face. Whatever he had in mind- it had better be good.


	35. Chapter 35

Anna closed her eyes as the perky flight attendant cheerfully launched into her safety demonstration includes the use of seatbelts, safely stowing luggage, location of the emergency oxygen masks, use of life jackets, emergency exit locations, a reminder that the flight is non-smoking, to put electronic devices in flight mode and turn them off for takeoff. Anna rubbed her hand across the tense muscles in her upper back. She was trying not to show her exasperation with Robert, who was seated next to her

No amount of arguing deterred him from sitting beside her, leaving Finn and Chase to make awkward small talk next to each other. One look at the expression on Finn's face and Anna knew that, like she, he would rather be sitting next to her shoulder to shoulder. All she wanted was some time alone with him; even five minutes would do. But luck was not on her side

Once the airplane doors closed, she could hear a small jet engine powering up in the tail of the aircraft. Anna's whole body relaxed at the sound and sighed in relief as she felt that familiar drop in her stomach that signaled they were airborne and climbing to cruising altitude.

It was as if the whole nightmare of her captivity was over.

The gray in the early morning sky began to disappear as they put Toronto behind them. Traveling by plane was always relaxing for Anna. She never understood dislike or fear for flight that some others had. She supposed it was based on fear of the unknown or loss of control. To Anna, the thought of moving at high speeds untethered to the ground was the ultimate freedom. The WSB had chartered a private flight to bring her Finn, Robert, and Chase back to Port Charles. Thankfully not a bus ride back.

"Alright, so let's stop pretending we are on bloody vacation and start on getting to the bottom of who organized waking sleeping beauty, Cassandra. If I have to take time out of my week to track you down, I don't want it to be for nothing. " Robert said and roughly tapped her on the shoulder.

This set Anna's teeth on edge, and it didn't take long before things got heated between her and Robert as he continued to insist on going over the case details. She tried to ignore all of the questions he lobbed at her offering only terse yes and no answers at her, and eventually, she closed her eyes and turned her head away to hoping the annoying Aussie would take the hint.

"So how did he get the drop on you," Robert smirked.

The sarcasm and mocking in his tone made something snap inside Anna. A loud groan of protestation emanated from her, which reverberated through the cabin, and Anna's eyes flicked open. She would not yell from frustration. She would not scream. She would not shout even though Robert Scorpio engendered all three reactions from her at once.

"I told you he didn't get the drop on me." she spat back." It was a tranquilizer dart to the neck when I exited the vehicle. He had an accomplice that was waiting. I woke up in the cell, probably...I don't know 24 hours later."

Anna remembered opening her eyes to a world of white only to slam them shut in pain as bright white light accosted them. Her lids remained squeezed shut for a few minutes as the pain dies down before slowly opening then and blinking rapidly, and her irises adjusted to let the right amount of light in. The room was eerily quiet with no sound except for her own slow breathing. Trying to wiggle free of her restraints but getting nowhere, she stilled and began to think. Who was holding her? An old enemy or new? For what purpose? Was she the target or the bait? It would be easier to parse if there were not so many people that might want her dead. How many people in this world can't figure out who might want to kill them? It would be comical if it weren't so deadly serious at that moment.

"Did they interrogate you?" Robert asked, soberly. The question brought her attention back to the present.

Anna looked over at Finn, who had stopped chatting with Chase and turned his attention over to Anna and Robert's conversation. Anna swallowed and turned to Robert. She raised her eyebrows and looked hard at him and lowered her voice. "There is no need to go into this now." She said with emphasis.

Robert chose to ignore what her eyes were communicating and pressed on.

"No need? You know as well as I do that the questions they asked you could be the key to finding out who put this plan together. Now stop worrying about what "he-" Robert pointed at Finn, "knows about what they did to you. He's a big boy, and I'm sure he can imagine what interrogation can entail.

"Fine." Anna tensed like a steel trap. "They wanted to ensure my cooperation but clearly had been told not to injure me in any way, so they used the...usual techniques. Sleep deprivation to disorient me and disrupt my sense of time. Fortunately, that time in Tangiers helped me with that. So that's all that happened."

Robert looked at her. "What else. Tell me all of it."

"Robert…we can talk about this privately."

"This is private." /span/p

"Stress positioning. Temperature extremes. Confinement. " She said, rattled off quickly. As her irritation at Robert rose, so did the tone of her voice, She noticed Chase start at her words. She looked him straight in the eye until he averted his eyes uncomfortably.

"White torture techniques?" Robert asked, pointedly.

Her eyes narrowed. Damn him. She didn't want to tell. But she knew he could already read here and his look in his eyes told her a story.

He had miscalculated.

He had created a profile of her captures, and he had been certain they wouldn't hurt her. And they hadn't, at least not in a lasting physical way. They had other methods he hadn't considered.

"Sensory deprivation and isolation." She said with defiance. Robert flinched at her words. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat. She instantly regretted how harsh she had sounded.

She wanted to reach out and tell him it wasn't his fault, but something held her back. Her thoughts were cut off by the memory of the noise in her cell. Her lids had flown open, and her eyes searched her environment to look for the source, but she could find none. It seemed to come from all directions. Static, and it was getting louder. She wanted to cover her ears, but the restraints made that impossible. White room, white walls, white restraints, white noise. White, white, white. The noise threatened to overwhelm her, and she was going to lose her composure, her breathing picked up speed, and she strained against her restraints, wanting nothing more than to get away from the noise. Then as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped, leaving only a ringing in her ears.

That's when she knew what was happening. It was clear that psychological torture methods, white torture was being employed — an extreme form of sensory deprivation. The intention was to make a person lose their sense of personal identity. Fortunately for her, Anna's sense of identity was firmly rooted, and her captors were clumsy. Their execution of the technique was shoddy. They had wanted to rattle her, to keep her docile and under control. They didn't realize that Anna Devane was the one making that choice, not them.

She could feel Finn looking at her. She couldn't meet his eyes. She wanted him to feel like their adventure had been nothing but routine. And it had been once he had joined her. Nothing that they had done to her hadn't been done before and by enemies with more skill and precision than these hired amateurs. She could have gotten herself out sooner if her mental acquisitiveness hadn't gotten the better of her. And Finn had played along. He had saved her. He had saved them with his brilliant mind and quick thinking. She had let go enough to trust him, and that leap had paid off. She flicked her dark eyes over to his light eyes, and she saw that were filled with concern for her.

It was too much. It was all too much.

She snapped her face back to Roberts. "Now, if you are done with your own interrogation, then you will excuse me."

She unbuckled her seatbelt, stood up, and marched her way to the back of the plane towards the lavatory. She was in such a white-hot rage at Robert that she got caught up in the curtain that divided the rear of the plane from the rest. She angrily pulled it closed and leaned forward that then banged her head against the wall in frustration.

She heard the sharp sound of the curtain being moved on its track and prayed to God that Robert hadn't followed her; otherwise, he was going to feel her fist in his ribs.

It wasn't Robert.

"I'm sorry, Anna. If only I had realized that you were gone sooner..." Finn said helplessly. It broke Anna's heart. His apology was exactly what she was trying to avoid. This wasn't his fault. She should have been more vigilant. She was growing soft. And he had risked his life to the right her wrong.

"I didn't want you to hear all of that." she shook her head and passed her hand over her eyes.

"Why not. Anna, if this is going to work, we have to be honest with each other all the time. And I want this to work. You can't hide the truth from me."

"This charade of hers was bordering on ridiculous, she realized. By pushing him away, she was also punishing herself. No, not just punishing: torturing. She did not know exactly what it was that she felt for him now, but she felt something, something that had taken root in her heart the moment he displayed vulnerability to her in Monaco, and suddenly, it seemed cruel and unnecessary to withhold it from him any longer.

"Finn, I want it to work, too, but I don't want you to worry about me." She had a hard time finding the words to express her feelings.

 _And I want you safe,_ she thought. There it was like a broken record, her concern for his safety; what an inconvenient moment to be faced with it once more. She wouldn't allow herself to show any weakness of any kind in his presence. Not now, not yet. The boundaries of their relationship were illusionary, but she still relied on them. And after her captivity, the façade was gone, and the new rules were yet to be established. They both swam in unknown waters, holding onto each other with caution, hoping they both reach the same land.

"How is shielding me from that going to do us any good?" Finn turned to her with a smile, it looked surprisingly reassuring, and Anna smiled back. His eyes studied her, and she was afraid of what they might see, not what he thought she was, not a strong and in control, but merely vulnerable like any other prey.

He said nothing, but his hand reached out and touched hers, squeezing it gently. Anna surprised herself by returning the gesture. They stared at each other in silence, and she looked into his eyes; they were concerned, yet warm. Finn was the last person she had expected to offer her that adoring, soft, and knowing gaze. She focused on his face until her nervousness vanished; her heart beating steadily once more. He then leaned forward and kissed her cheek, but his grip on her hand, never faltered.

Once he leaned back, she was acutely aware of the close space and her inability to avoid looking into his eyes. She could hardly withstand the intensity of their gaze, each the opposite of the other: Hers a brown so deep he could fall into it, and his a blue so pale as to sear right through her with its clarity.

Finn seemed to be affected their proximity, as was noted by the darker look of his face, and he stepped forward. Anna automatically shifted back but found herself backed against the wall of the plane. Finn placed his hands on the wall on either side of her. Something about him leaning into her triggered a delicious loss of control inside her. This wasn't the time or place to have him this close, yet knowing that did not stop her heart from beating faster; she could hear the pounding in her ears, the pace of her breathing she could not still. She knew that he must be fighting the same urges she was. She reached up to tug his tie, and then she kissed him. Anna was sure that Finn would pull back after a moment. Instead, the hand at her waist tightened around a fistful of her blouse, and his lips began to move against hers. They were warm, heated by his breath, and they pressed into her: slowly at first, and then with a growing sense of urgency. Her hand began to move of its own volition, needing to grasp, to touch. It raked up his shoulder but was not satisfied with the fabric there, and so it continued to his neck, where fingertips finally grazed exposed skin, making Finn gasp into her mouth as he kissed her even harder.

Before she fully processed what she was doing, her fingers had trailed up to his jaw and were slipping under the edge of the collar there, seeking more skin to touch. Finn stared at her for what felt like an eternity, until she began to worry that something was wrong. Suddenly, he pushed her into the plane lavatory, locking both of them into the closet-sized space, and then he was kissing her, pressing his mouth into hers with such intoxicating force that the edge of the sink dug into her spine, certain to leave a bruise there.

He was the one driving the kiss, and he came at her so ravenously that her limbs threatened to give out. His hands raked over her neck, her face, her hair. Her own hands found his waist and clung there. Then, as she began to tire of the one-sided assault on her mouth, she surged forward to return the pressure.

With a strangled groan, he relented. Their mouths slanted against each other, working in tandem, slowing but also deepening. Several times she bumped into the cumbersome edge of the sink, but she could overlook it for now. His lips, Anna remembered their roughness, which was a peculiar thrill against her own mouth, but they were so soft and yielding at their center: a perfect metaphor for the man himself.

Their movements forced her lips apart, and then the warm tip of his tongue was there, seeking entrance. The resulting dance between them sent pangs of desire shooting through her body. Another muffled groan escaped his larynx. At length, his mouth left hers to trail kisses over her jaw and down the side of her neck. She allowed her head to fall back, exposing her pale throat.

"Anna." The words emerged as a half moan, half-whisper. "I missed you."

His mouth claimed hers once more, and this time his arms wrapped around her, pulling her to him until she thought she might cease to breathe altogether. His fingers curled into the muscles in her back and shoulders, kneading and caressing them, moving lower with every simultaneous sweep of his lips against hers. Wide hands slid roughly down her hips in order to cup her backside through the suddenly too-thin fabric of her pants, and she arched against him in surprise.

"We will be starting out landing procedures I am asking all passengers to please return to your seats." The voice of the pilot sounded loud over the intercom.

Finn's mouth broke away from hers with a gasp, his hands springing back from her flushed and trembling form. "I'm sorry, I guess we were getting carried away," he said, his eyes wide with shock.

Anna groaned in disappointment. Every nerve ending in her body was alive and buzzing with heat and desire, and she did not know how she could possibly return to her seat after this.

Finn straightened her collar and started to do up her buttons, and he ran his hands through her hair to smooth the tangles his hands had made. Anna returned the favor, and then Finn took her hand and led her back to their seats.

Anna avoided looking at Robert, and all it took was one hard look from Finn at Chase to get him murmuring apologies and moving up and out of his chair and settling himself next to Robert.

Anna tried to relax, but as she caught the look in Robert's eye, the struggle to keep up her stoic exterior suddenly caught up with her. She was worried that Finn might notice it, too, but he remained quiet. She was grateful for the silence, and the minutes seemed to turn into hours as the plane approached its destination, and it began to descend. She felt Finn's fingers tighten their grip around hers in comfort. Anna quickly touched his lips to his shoulder, leaving an unspoken apology, searching for a diminution in the space between them.

Slowly the walls were falling.


	36. Chapter 36

**The Metro Court**

 _She was here._

Finn looked at Anna with appreciation. There she sat, beautifully chic, legs crossed, and looking over her menu. She looked so decorous, but there was nothing commonplace about her. Only a red mark on her cheek belied the fact that she had been in a fight for her life not hours before. Finn's blood boiled in reaction to her facial injury, and he was bold enough to place his hand to the side of her face with concern.

He had so many thoughts running through his mind. He wanted to lecture her about being in harm's way again, he wanted to tell her how much he missed her, he wanted to tell her sorry again for how blindsided she was this morning, he wanted to let her know that her absence had frustrated him, he wanted to tell her he was scared that he wouldn't be the father Violet needed, he wanted to tell her than he _wanted_ her. But the only thing he could say at the moment had nothing whatsoever to do with any of those things. "It looks like the swelling has gone down."

"Thankfully." Anna touched the tender spot on her cheek and briefly wished he would kiss it. "Icing it was the best thing. I have to hand it to Cassandra; she's sturdier than she looks." She became more distracted that he was there next to her after all their time apart. The fluttering in her heart reminded her how much she missed him. She was disappointed when he drew his hand back. She took a sip of water and then decided it was time to talk about difficult things, whether she felt ready to or not. And one question came to the fore, actually, it had been on her mind for more than a year. She cleared her throat and began.

"Why do you seem reluctant to acknowledge that Hayden has feelings for you. We both knew when Hayden's letter came that she was interested in reconciliation." Anna asked carefully as she picked up her fork and attempted to concentrate on the wedge of chocolate cake that the waiter placed in front of her.

Finn was silent for a moment. He seemed to be gathering his thoughts, and Anna held her breath, waiting for him to answer, hoping he wouldn't deflect as was his habit when confronting uncomfortable feelings.

"For the same reason, I explained to Alexis, Chase, Robert, and anyone else who wanted to know how I was handling her return. I am in love with you, and _we_ are starting a life together. Granted, it would have been a lot easier if we had been on the same continent at least because Gulf Standard Time was brutal."

"It was." she agreed. She allowed herself a genuine chuckle at the end of his sentence, appreciating his dry humor as always. He had a knack for injecting a lighthearted moment into what was otherwise a heavy conversation.

"Listen...Like I told you right after I saw Hayden for the first time, it was a shock. And I will be honest. You were right, I did have questions, but she didn't have any answers to give me. And that only gave me more questions about her motives. She always has secrets, and I needed to know what she was hiding."

"Violet. Your unfinished business."

"She wanted me to go to Rome; she said she wanted to tell me about her then. But even that was a manipulation. She could have told me at any point that our baby lived, but she only wanted to tell me on her terms and to achieve her ends."

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, Finn. I should have been here."

"I was suspicious of her and what she might be hiding. That's why I wanted you to come home. I needed you."

"I know I tried to hurry as fast as I could. After our conversation, I realized that I need to be with you too. I had to hand off the investigation to another agent, bring them up to speed. I wanted to surprise you. I remember how well it turned out the last time I surprised you. But I have to admit I didn't expect to find Hayden in our living room and in one of your shirts."

Finn groaned and passed his hand over his face. "We had breakfast this morning and told Violet that I was her father. To be honest, I wasn't paying too much attention to Hayden. I only had eyes for my daughter."

Anna took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. She didn't want apologies, they had been through that already, and she has set her feelings aside immediately. "That was very clear as soon as I met her. She is a beautiful, Finn. She has your eyes."

"Anna, I know that there is a lot to discuss and details to work out and challenges ahead, but I want to face them together."

"We will." Her warm eyes comforted him.

"I'm glad you are back, so Robert will back off a bit. He was convinced that I was going to, I don't know- stray. Now he can stop threatening to put me in a deep dark hole. "

"He didn't!"

Finn looked at her pointedly.

"Alright. Of course, he did. I could kill him." She pounded her fist in frustration on the marble countertop, and Finn flinched. He did not want to be that cantankerous Aussie when she got ahold of him.

Finn leaned in and carefully placed his lips on hers. The kiss was like all the others they had shared since her return was soft and sweet and tentative, almost as if he was asking a question. _Are we alright?_ Anna wanted to answer. She wanted to take his bottom lip into hers and invite him to kiss her the way she remembered. But he pulled away before she could. She pressed her lips together and chewed on the side of her mouth as she pushed down her disappointment.

They were still careful, treating each other as if they were made of spun glass.

 _You need to give him time; she_ reminded herself. Give him a chance to come to terms with his own feelings and emotions now that he is a father. It was not a foregone conclusion that the life they had when she left was what he would want tomorrow.

Finn saw a look in her eyes he couldn't place. Of course, she had to be exhausted. "You're tired. I've been selfish, keeping you up when you should be sleeping. Between traveling jet lag, saving a child from an international criminal, learning I have a daughter, and talking to Hayden, I'd say you have had a full day."

Anna's heart sank at his words, but she did her best to rally. His concern for her was touching. "Mmmm...I suppose so. Although it was the PCPD paperwork, that was the most exhausting." She gave a half-hearted attempt at humor, but she couldn't stop herself from asking the question that she needed reassurance on the most. "You're really happy to see me?" her dark eyes searched his questioningly. Her voice was quiet and vulnerable. Finn's heart seized in his chest.

"Of course, I am." His throat was tight, making his voice gravelly. His large hand covered hers. He chastised himself internally as he realized that he probably hadn't don't the best job at making her feel welcome when she walked unexpectedly through the door.

"Did you miss me?" her voice was low, and a small smile played about the corners of her lips. She tilted her face towards his. The direct question startled him, piercing through his self-pity with a purposeful look. It was a purposeful lure, but he didn't care, breathing out the answer instantly. "Yes."

He heard her chuckle, so faint he might as well have imagined it, but he is certain it was there.

"Good." Her smile bloomed.

The word sends his pulse galloping, a sudden rush of blood making his skin tingle; he is ready to drop everything and get on the elevator and into a hotel room, wanting nothing more than to scoop her in his arms immediately. But the thrill was short-lived when he remembered that she had gone through that day. She's jet-lagged and tired, and he still didn't want to presume that she was ready.

"It is probably time for us to be heading out. We both drove here. Well...um...I guess I will see you at home..."

"Can I drive you home?" Finn asked quickly

Anna looked at him; her eyebrow quirked in surprise.

"We can pick up your car tomorrow," he explained, " I...I said I didn't want to be away from you for another minute, and I meant it."

"Alright." She nodded her head and took his arm as they waited for the valet to bring the car to them. She shivered involuntarily in the cold night air, and he put his arm around her. Holding her felt so good. The clean smell of her hair was comforting, notes of ginger and orange, and he breathed her in. It was the smell of her, the smell of home.

He opened the car door for her, and she slid into her seat. As he got behind to wheel and pulled out of the parking lot, he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. The streetlights threw her into relief both in light and shadow as they drove through the city streets. Her hand rested on the center console. He carefully enveloped her hand in his. His thumb traced the outline of his sapphire on her left ring finger. He remembered when she said yes. She looked at him and smiled. Finn smiled back.

 _This was promising_ , he thought.

Keeping his eyes on the road, he released her hand, and she could almost hear her deflate as she let out a sound of disappointment. Finn smiled when the next sound her was the sharp intake of her breath as his hand found its way above her knee, feeling the warmth of her leg beneath the thin fabric of her skirt. He could hear her breathing increase and was encouraged. God, he had missed her. He wanted to play her body like a violin until she was calling his name. It had been too long since he heard her say…

"Finn!" she gasped. His fingers had dipped under her hemline and were on a journey up the smooth skin of her inner thigh. She leaned her head back and swallowed. The way she said his name let him now that their tentative dance around each other's feelings was at an end.

Now, as they traveled back to their home, there was certainly only one thing on both of their minds, and it was not her travels or his unexpected news.

His fingers caressed inside the smooth line of her thigh, encouraging her legs apart, and she couldn't help but oblige. She glanced at Finn, who seemed to be focusing all his attention, and gaze, on the road ahead of them — and looking very tempting still in his three-piece suit. Absentmindedly, she licked her lips and attempted to anchor her stare on the passing scenery instead of his mouth, even if the blurred cityscape was hardly absorbing. His fingers reached their sensitive destination, and she couldn't keep a moan from slipping from her lips. She sensed Finn's eyes watching her from the rearview mirror and smiled, knowing he was longing for her as much as she was for him.

As the familiar turn finally materialized on the left, the long drive leading directly to their house, Anna felt a shiver of anticipation. The car passed through the open gate, and her breath quickened, thoughts of eager hands and lips overpowering her mind. Finn stopped the car right by the front steps and stepped out quickly to open the door for her. Ever the gentleman, Anna smiled; his consideration made her want him even more. As she climbed the front steps, Finn turned back to park the car, but his stare accompanied her all the way to the door. Anna smirked; she was amazed he has not abandoned the task altogether.

She felt drops on her skin. Of course, the sky would choose her homecoming to produce a late autumn downpour. Soon the heavens opened, but it hadn't stopped her from standing out in the rain for a moment, feeling the raindrops on her face and eyelashes and breathing in the fresh sweet air. Then she unlocked the door to enter then leaned back against the heavy wooden door of her house. She rested her head back against the door and sighed in relief before she pushed off and began to pace like a caged tigress. She stepped further inside the silent foyer and set her clutch on the nearest surface. Her heels echo against the floors as she followed the long shadows cast by the dim light and entered the empty living room. It was different than she left it, and that fact filled her with happiness. He had put his mark on their home.

 _Home._ That word had never sounded so good.

She saw pictures in new frames and in new locations. She moved towards the mantle and turned around and hurried to the front door when she heard the handles turning. At the doorstep stood a well-dressed man, soaked through, as water streamed off him to pool on the floor.

"Finn!" Anna exclaimed, pulling the drenched doctor into the house. She stepped back as water seeped through the thin fabric of her blouse.

"Let me get you a towel-." Anna set about to take charge of the situation, as was her habit. She thought better of it and instead began to peel the drenched blazer from Finn's shoulders.

"I didn't realize it was raining that hard!" Anna said incredulously, absentmindedly helping him with his tie. She touched his cheek to soften her reaction. He looked at her, a smile creasing the skin around his eyes. She smoothed a damp strand of hair off of his forehead and returned his smile.

"Neither did I," Finn tilted his head slightly to rest his cheek against her palm, "but I wasn't going to waste time looking for an umbrella." He turned his face and brushed a kiss to her slim wrist.

Anna closed her eyes at his touch and considered his words with a smile before she shook herself into action. "You had better get out of these wet clothes before you get chilled." she decided. "You can go upstairs and get changed, and I will start a fire so you can warm up, or you could go take a shower. I'll get put some water on, would you like coffee-" He grabbed her hand before she could walk off and pulled her back

"Anna, it's been five months, one week and three days since we were together last, and I'm not waiting for a second more. I'm going to make love to you in every room of this house tonight. So this is as good a time and a place to start as any."

Anna's breath hitched, and her pulse raced as he pulled her flush against him. "I'm just glad you are home," Finn's breath was hot against her temple, and Anna swallowed a sigh as his hand slipped around her waist to pull her back against him.

"This reunion didn't go the way I had envisioned. I thought I would have had you several times by now. I planned to hold you, hostage, for a least a day or two." her eyes twinkled with mischief.

"You have me all to yourself until…" he looked at his watch," tomorrow at 3:30 pm."

"Then we should make the most of the time we have together," she said hardly louder than a whisper. Tracing her cheek with his thumb, he searched for any sign of pain or discomfort at the went that had formed there. Finding none, he pressed a tender kiss to her cheek, maintaining the connection for a few moments before pulling back again. Her eyes were closed for a breath more, and then she looked at him from under her lashes.

He took in a slow breath and stared at her with an intensity that made a blush bloom rosy on her cheeks. "I love you, Anna." She closed her eyes again at his admission, letting the roughness of his voice slip over her. She wrapped her arms around him, ignoring the water that soaked through her blouse. "I love you, Finn," she murmured against his throat as she leaned her head against his shoulder. She needed a minute just to feel him.

His jacket and tie were already discarded in a sodden heap on the floor. Anna reached for his buttons, and her fingers wandered as she pushed each one free. She placed a kiss on the center of his chest before she moved behind him and eased the wet fabric from his shoulders, and he shrugged out of it. Anna's fingers traced the tattoo that wreathed his left arm, and she set her lips against it. She had missed his body, the one she knew so well. When they were apart, she still had access to his voice and his mind, but now it was skin and heat that she craved. The top half of him was exposed to her eyes, and her hands moved to his belt to finish the job. They were both breathing ragged by the time her task was complete. Her body was so tense, a mere brush of his fingers sets off electricity beneath her skin, rushing down her spine, straight to her core.

"It's your turn." He growled and dipped his head, lips pressing firmly against her skin, lapping at pulse fluttering in her neck. His hand pulled at the tie of her blouse, unwrapping her like a gift. She whimpered in response while his mouth moves to her clavicle, teeth grazing her exposed shoulder. Anna's fingers tangled in his hair, and she pulled hard just as he sinks his teeth in her flesh. They both groaned in pleasure, and Finn ran his fingers through her hair, a silent plea for more. As his fingers caressed her dark tresses, he smiled. "Your hair's longer now." Anna laughed and reached out and brushed his hair back from his forehead. "So is yours." Then his mouth claimed hers, and Anna sighed against his mouth as she opened hers to him. This is what she had wanted, what she had been aching for every day of her absence, for him to devour her with need and lust.

Anna felt his fingers smooth over her hips till he found the pull of her zipper, and her skirt slipped from her. She stood still as he removed the rest of her clothing. Then he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the sofa. He set her down carefully, but his lips and his hands were let gentle once she was in place.

Suddenly Anna's body moved, pressing itself closer to his, her hand reaching out to rest on his chest as her body shifted in search of leverage. Finn closed his eyes, savoring the unexpected sensation as her delicate figure lifted herself up and over him. Her breath caressed his face as she leaned forward and kissed him deeply. Their bodies came together quickly, and Anna was still for a moment in relief at the feeling of being joined to him again after so long. Finn whispered words of love into her ear and ran his hands over the smooth skin of her back.

All was right in the world.

A low moan beginning in Finn's throat and his mouth tasted her once more. Now he shifted his hips, hands on her waist, a gentle prompt that he can't wait now that he has her back in his arms. He is filled with a hunger that has made him voracious for her. Their lips parted, and she tilted her head playfully and smiled appreciatively at his body's immediate reaction to hers.

Anna leaned forward to kiss him again, and his hands follow, tracing the line of her back, fingers pressing softly in tempo with her movements. She moaned into his mouth as her hips shift, and he responded, still knowing the exact spot she needed tending to. Breaking the kiss, she smiled with bliss, eyes glossy, in the complete surrender to the moment. Continuing the unrushed pace, she briefly rests her forehead on his, the connection of their bodies and minds fused with one gesture. He kissed her again and again, luxuriating in the tenderness as her body flowed with his. The pleasure wound tighter in both of them until she cried out and collapsed against him. He followed right after her.

Anna leaned her face into the side of his neck, finger brushing through his hair. She sighed serenely. Finn smiled, enjoying the rush slowly leave his body as his pulse returned to normal. Finn felt better than he had in months, and he knew why. She was here. He was complete. Chase had been right, there had been a hole in his life, but he realized that it was only Anna that fit in it.

He had the woman he loved back with him, and a beautiful daughter. Life had never been so good.


	37. Chapter 37

When Anna proposed watching the Christmas parade that passed close by the Floating Rib, Finn did not oppose; quite the contrary, he looked forward to looking at the festive lights, sipping hot drinks and most importantly, strolling hand in hand with her on one side and Violet on the other. He knew that his companions were the reason for his decision to embrace the holiday traditions, and he did not mind in the slightest. A smile was a permanent fixture on his face, and he was happy to set Violet on his shoulders so she could have a better view of the floats as they streamed by. Anna stood next to him, her arms slipping under his coat to wrap around him, she laid her head on his shoulder, and her smile was brighter than the twinkling lights around them. This is what contentment felt like, like coming in from the cold.

He decided then that wintertime together has become his favorite season; unrushed days and cozy embraces in front of the fireplace, keeping each other warm and contented in the quiet space of their home with Violet making the picture complete.

It was not something that Finn had ever considered would hold a place in his heart until it did. It slipped so unexpectedly beneath the armor of his intellect and sarcasm and settled into his soul. It was the sound of a young girl laughing in the frosty air.

He wondered if he will be able to give her all she needs. He wonders if he will be enough.

With the parade done and the festivities concluded, Violet, sweet thing, was out like a light at soon as they pulled out of the parking lot of the Floating Rib, the excitement and activity of the day had drained even her seemingly boundless reserves of energy. The drive home was quiet, with instrumental Christmas carols soothing them on the way home. Anna watched with a full heart as Finn carried Violet up the stairs to bed, a candy cane held tight in her tiny fist. Anna retired to the kitchen to bring out the platter that held the cookies for Santa and the stocks of celery that Violet had insisted on giving to the reindeer. Two mugs of hot chocolate were added for good measure.

Once everything was set out in the living room, Anna groaned as she pulled the high heels from her feet and walked upstairs to get comfortable. Her dress was quickly replaced with a silk shift and her favorite blue velvet robe before she padded quietly back downstairs. She found Finn by the tree absentmindedly tugging at his cuffs as was his habit to do when he was thinking. He waved off the cup that she offered him, and she settled herself on the sofa, amused by his state of agitation, and swallowed a chuckle.

"Is everything alright?"

"I'm still not sure how children are so easily duped by their parents to believe in Santa I mean there are 1.939 billion children in the world if children are smart enough to install apps on a phone, which I have watched Violet do, how can they not understand that one man can't possibly bring deliver than many toys? And on a sleigh! Not practical when half the country gets no snow."

"In England and in Canada, Father Christmas sometimes arrived by other means than reindeer." Anna quickly interjected when he paused for a breath. "In San Remos, where Robin was born, he rides a mule."

He was only getting started. The gold rim of her glass caught the light of the flickering fire, which was a deep red turning into a ruby glow. Standing up from the couch, Anna cradled the warm cup in her hands. She took a sip of the drink, savoring the creaminess of the cocoa on her tongue and noticing the unexpected sweetness of vanilla. Anna smiled to herself as she listened to him, and her eyes watched every move he made as he unconsciously stacked and restacked the presents. Another mouthful and she placed the mug down on the side table as the alluring sight of him in his jacket, shirtsleeves, and vest drew her gaze forward.

"-if I did my math right, and I know I did because I double-checked it, then Santa has less than 1/1000 of a second to park his sleigh, hop out of it, get down the chimney silently trying not to get stuck and not to wake anybody, distribute the presents under the tree and fill the stockings, eat the cookies and drink milk that is left, get back up the chimney and get back again into the sleigh to move to the next house."

"He should come work for the WSB," Anna said dryly.

Finn turned and gave her a smirk at her comment before turning back to the tree and taking inventory of all the packages piled underneath it. One thing was for sure; Violet would not lack for gifts.

He nudged a particularly lumpy parcel with is shoe. "I see you wrapped this one."

"Hey! I will have you know that _that_ is a gift from both me and Violet that we worked very hard on, and _she_ helped me wrap it!"

"Oh, no. No, no no...we can not have her taking after you with her wrapping skills. Somehow you got her liking marmalade and peanut butter on toast, but I am drawing the line here." Anna rolled her eyes at his teasing and continued to primly sip her hot chocolate while his obsessive compulsiveness drove him to examine every box.

"Where did these presents come from? They look too nice to be wrapped by you-" He ducked in time to miss the throw pillow that she aimed at his head.

"They are from Robin and Patrick for Violet. Emma picked out a play laboratory set from the Lawrence Hall of Sciences. Once she heard that Violet wanted to be a doctor like her father, she thought she would give her a hand. Robin said it's appropriate for her age. Sometimes I can't quite work out how Robert and I managed to have a child that grew into such a brilliant doctor. "

"It doesn't surprise me that someone brilliant could come from you." He stopped and smiled at her. Anna melted a little.

"I love that you have a daughter to dote on this year. You know, watching Robin at Christmastime when she was little was one of the greatest joys of my life."

"I'm finding that out for myself. I'm trying not to dwell on how much I missed out on before now."

The smile on Anna's face faded. "I know…" she said distantly. "When Robin was very little, I couldn't always be there on Christmas, although I tried. Sometimes it was...impossible. Keeping her identity a secret was the most important thing." Anna crossed her arms as if to stave off a chill, "Hayden must be missing her terribly. I _do_ know how what she is feeling right now. Being without your daughter, wishing you were with her."

Finn nodded soberly. "Robert hasn't been able to trace her past the train station on the night she left. Being former WSB, I thought he might be better at finding things."

"He is. But Raymond Berlin did say that she had a knack for staying hidden until she wanted to be found. It looks like he was correct. I saw her dossier, and the list of known contacts is very thin, there is not a lot to go on. I'm sorry Finn, I know it's taking a toll on you."

"I just worry about the toll it is going to take on Violet. She's the innocent one. She doesn't deserve this uncertainty." Finn looked at her, and the look of pure compassion in her eyes was almost overwhelming. He cleared his throat and turned back to the tree and focused again on the presents. "Alright, so what is next?"

Anna understood. Talking of things outside of their control caused nothing but distress and did nothing to change the situation they faced. Yes, a change of subject was necessary, so she stood up and rubbed his back soothingly as though she could whisk his worries away before she linked her arm in his.

"Well, it is a while before Santa needs to put the presents under the tree. They are all up in our bedroom. Violet is going to love having a tea set, just her size. I think one of the things she likes best about this house is how many tea sets are in the cupboard. I think she's determined to have a tea party with every single one of them. And with my collecting obsession, it's going to take her a while."

"Good thing we have all the time in the world then." His eyes thanked her for understanding what he needed. The remaining words of their unspoken conversation passed silently between their eyes.

"I'm glad we got a proper tree this after last year's disaster, Anna observed, gesturing to the tree that Violet had picked out because she wanted a "snowed on tree," Anna remembered how Finn flinched, no doubt thinking of the mess it would make, but then he immediately praised her choice and pulled out his wallet to pay for the tree.

"At least this one you didn't have to commit larceny to obtain." she finished with a laugh.

"Hey, I put it back, and the neighbors never knew it was gone."

"Your first solo heist. Maybe I'm rubbing off on you; for better or for worse."

"For better," he said softly and gently brushed a lock of hair back from her face. Anna's heart stopped for a moment as he looked at her with his serious blue eyes. His voice vibrated in shivers across her skin.

"Um...we probably should finish up. I think we are all set down here. The rest are upstairs and ready to go." She tried not to focus on his lips. She was not successful.

"Great! Then I will go up and get them wrapped."

This gave her pause. "Wrapped? Why?" she asked, confused.

His expression of confusion mirrored hers "What do you mean why? Because Santa's gifts have to be wrapped in paper that is different than the rest. That's how you know they came from the North Pole. I bought a special Santa wrapping paper."

"Santa paper?" She said incredulously, "Why would Santa wrap his presents in wrapping paper with pictures of himself on it? Santa takes his presents out of his sack, so they are ready to be picked up and played with Christmas morning."

"Well, growing up, this is what we did," he said matter of factly.

"Aha! So maybe you have more Christmas traditions than you first let on," she said triumphantly.

"Maybe." Finn acknowledged reluctantly but then chuckled at her expression. "I never really needed them before."

"You have Violet. Now you have a reason to celebrate the Christmas season." Anna smiled and turned away from him and began to straighten the stockings that had become twisted on their hooks. Finn could hear her softly humming _Joy to the World_ as she went about her task. He watched her for a moment, then reached for her hand and pulled her back to him. She looked at him with a wondering smile, and he softly brushed his lips against hers. Then again.

"I want you to know that you gave me a reason to celebrate, even before Violet came. Christmas has been better every year that you have been in my life."

She rewarded his declaration with a smile, allowing his arms to envelop her. He sighed happily when she responded to his touch, sinking into his embrace, telling him she was happy to spend another Christmas with him as well. Anna felt one of his arms unwind from her waist while the other held her tight. She pulled back slightly to look at him with questioning eyes, and her silvery laugh broke out when she saw what was being held above her head — a sprig of mistletoe. His palm slid over the slick softness of the velvet that enrobed her, sensing the warmth of her body radiating beneath it. Then he kissed her deeply.

"So, why don't we go upstairs. If Santa isn't going to be visiting for a couple more hours, maybe we could find a way to pass the time?" she breathed, her eyes half-lidded as she looked at him. Finn took her hand in his and fairly pulled her up the stairs to their room, yearning for the feel of her against him without the inconvenience of layers of fabric.

Once the door was shut and locked behind them, impatiently, he shrugged the jacket off one shoulder, but Anna's hand stopped him unexpectedly. She raised herself on her tiptoes.

"Take it off slowly," she whispered against his mouth, her voice warm and tantalizing, much like her suggestion. She walked away and perched herself on the end of the bed. She raised an eyebrow, challenging him to continue. Her eyes never left his.

The corner of Finn's mouth turned up in surprise, but as he gladly acquiesced to her request. Since she returned, he enjoyed her playfulness and her desire to make the most of their private time together.

He took off his jacket, sleeve by sleeve, and tossed it to the ground, trying his best to be uncaring about the proper treatment of the expensive blend of wool and cashmere. His hand moves to undo his tie while his gaze continued to rest on Anna, waiting for her reaction; her interest is stirred but not yet fully aroused.

He unfastened the buttons of his vest then his shirt, taking his time, fingers working diligently on liberating each one from its buttonhole, bit by bit revealing his upper torso. Anna shifted unconsciously in her seat, eyes locked on his, lips parting ever so slightly, followed by her teeth biting at her lower lip. Her left hand shifted to the sash of her robe, lingering over the knot, fingers stroking the fabric; he could see the restraint in her eyes as she let her hands fall to her lap. She chose not to undo it.

 _Not yet._

It was exhilarating, being on display for her alone in the solitude of their bedroom. He brushed the unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders, and it fell softly to the ground, landing on top of the jacket. Anna smiled with approval, and he gave her a moment to take in the view before proceeding to remove his belt. He was suddenly struck by the reality of what he was doing and couldn't help but laugh at the situation. Anna's laughter joined his as she tucked a foot up underneath her and motioned for him to continue.

"So does this count as your Christmas present?" he asked. Once his belt slipped from the loops, the pants, and the rest followed at once.

"Mmmm...maybe one of them, I mean, can anything really beat the new cell phone plan that you picked out for me?" she said teasingly.

"It comes with unlimited data and no overseas roaming. I think it was a very practical and thoughtful gift."

She gave his naked body a long lingering look that almost made him blush, and stood up. "I don't really see myself wanting to roam anywhere else right now. It's ingenious, really, what's in front of me. I like a present that unwraps itself." Her eyes drank him in. Seeing her that way, brimming with need, thrilled him instantly. His body tensed. She looked like a cat about to devour its prey, and Finn had never adored her more.

At last, Anna stood in front of him and untied her sash, whisking the robe away from her body in one fluid motion, a swift flick of her wrists at her shoulders sent her nightgown to the floor. She stood unbothered with mere inches between them, always so confident while naked. Her fingers stroked his chest and moved up to caress his jawline, then she stood on the tip of her toes and kissed his mouth, drawing his bottom lip between her teeth. Finn's whole body was set aflame by the touch of her lips, and he could no longer suppress a groan as her mouth left his.

Tilting her head to the side, she seems to be assessing his reaction, or perhaps her own, testing the limits of their patience. Whatever conclusion she reached, it must have proven satisfactory; since her arms wrapped around his neck firmly, silent anticipation in her eyes, and Finn responded in turn, his own arms sneaking around her waist as he lifted her up and their lips met again. There is no more stopping them as they gave free rein to their desire. They kissed completely, and without heed, the heat of her body increased as she pressed into him. He breathed her in greedily, wanting to be as close to her as he could.

They made it to the bed; Finn's feet guiding them while his mind no longer registered anything but their bodies coming together at last. As they sank into the mattress in a free-for-all of lips, hands, and heat, Finn gave a silent prayer of thanks for her in his life. Soon they lay exhausted in each other's arms as the clock downstairs chimed midnight. "It's officially Christmas." Anna nuzzled her nose into his neck, feeling warm and contented.

"It's already the best one yet. And there is still the rest of the day still ahead of us," he replied with a kiss to her temple.

"Shouldn't we get up and wrap the rest of Violet's presents?"

"Why?" His arms tightened around her. "Didn't you say Santa just takes them out of his sack? I'm sure he can do that in a minute or two. I think I'm fine right where I am for the moment."

Finn felt her head snuggle against him and her warm breath against his cheek as she whispered into his ear.

"Me too."


	38. Chapter 38

**_MetroCourt, Port Charles_**

The MetroCourt was crowded with people; the wave of what looked to be conference-goers is moved to and from the ballroom while the hotel staff rushed to deliver requested drinks and handle reservations. The babble of bottled up conversations being now released with fervor. Anna hesitated for a brief second outside the elevator, her hand reaching tentatively towards the arrow that the would take her to him. He hadn't told her what room he was in, and she has resisted using her spy skills to find out. A friendly front desk attendant had recognized her from her days of being a regular guest in Finn's room. She had inquired if she would be joining him in Room 405 for the night, and Anna had forced a smile and said she didn't know but thanked her for asking. She almost lost her nerve, but knowing that Finn was in this building and her need to see him renewed her purpose.

She walked out the elevator and into the hallway, only to be halted in her steps. Her doubt returned in full force. Maybe she should turn around and head home. Home… Home was with Finn and Violet; all she had to return to was a house.

Maneuvering her way through the stream of people to-ing and fro-ing, she approached the hotel room door, once again unsure of the proper way to approach the situation. After taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door. She tried her best to make it purposeful but not too loud. Why was she overthinking this? She sighed to herself; because he had left.

She waited. Moments passed, and she could hear no movement behind the door or detect signs of a shadow passing over the keyhole to indicate that anyone was in the room. Of course, she thought, he could be at the hospital. She has just assumed his shift was over. She contemplated this silly notion as her hand reached out to tap on the door a second time. She barely grazed the surface with her knuckles when the door opened, and Finn's face looked at her with surprise. Anna could feel the heat rising beneath her skin as anxiety washed over her.

"Hello," she said nervously. She didn't know what to do with her hands and tried to keep them from wringing together and betraying her agitation, but it was no use. He didn't respond but stood rigidly and looked at her, his blue eyes hard as flint. His blue dress shirt was untucked the collar open, and a tie was in his hand. She couldn't tell if he was getting dressed to leave or getting comfortable after a day of doctoring. She realized she must look awkward just standing there staring at him. After the hubbub of the downstairs, the dim corridor provided a quiet respite, but the turmoil in her heat roiled like an angry sea.

"I know you have been busy, but I haven't heard from you, but I want to talk. I need to talk. I want to know when you and Violet will be coming home. If you will be coming home?" She thought about the words that they shouted at each other is anger and pain.

You betrayed me!

I did it because I love you!

I have a second chance. I have to take it!

Violet and I can't be here right now.

"So...do you have time?" She tilted her head, the sound of their argument echoing in her head, making her regret many of the moments that brought her to this door. His face was still as a statue; not one expression betrayed what he was feeling. She was unnerved by the lack of emotion.

"You know what? This was probably a bad idea. I shouldn't have come here unannounced. I 'm-," she started to give voice to a heartfelt apology, feelings were threatening to burst like a dam, but before she got a chance to explain herself, Finn took hold of her hand and pulled her over the threshold. He pushed her against the door, his lips on hers.

Anna gasped in surprise, barely able to register what was happening before she was swept away by her want of him. She craved his arms holding her tight. He ran his hand through her hair and pressed his forehead to hers. Tears must have been flowing because he brushed them away with his thumb and then crushed her to him.

"I know that we need to talk, but right now, Anna, I just need to be near you, touch you. Will you let me." His voice was a low growl in her ear.

In answer, she kissed him ravenously again and again, unashamed in her hunger, one that only he could satisfy. He instantly responded to her desire, hand caressing her cheek, tasting her deeply. Her body's heat was rising with each press of their lips, her intense need urging him on. Their lips still locked, he pulled her forward, away from the door, and towards the opposite side of the room, pressing Anna firmly against the wall. The muffled groan that he swallowed from her lips, indicating her approval.

They both gasped loudly as their mouths finally part, breathing ragged and chests heaving as Finn moved his lips to her neck, lapping at her increasing pulse, his hand moving up to the waistband of her skirt, and he pulled her blouse loose and over her head. It was discarded, and her fingers flew over his buttons, and his shirt was pushed from his shoulders. She pressed her lips to the lines imprinted on his arms; then, she nuzzled him softly before she raised her eyes to his, and she claimed his lips again.

She stifled another moan as her hips pressed forward, demanding more, and Finn was more ready to comply. His hand advanced down beneath the side split of her skirt, hand grazing the inside of her thigh with deliberate pressure before he reached a delicate barrier of fine lace, making Finn swallow a low groan as his fingers press and rub against the fabric, making her hips arch forward involuntarily.

Her eyes were wide and glossy, and she impatiently reached for his belt, undoing the buckle and then the pants' zipper. Soon hands were touching kneading, delighting in the feel of each other and sounds of pleasure that emanated from each touch.

Now neither of them was able to wait any longer. The unexpectedness of their separation left them wanting each other; they could not deny how their bodies yearned to be together even if the gulf of their disagreement was pulling them apart. His fingers retreated only to find her zipper and remove any last physical barrier between them. Their hearts would have to sort out the rest later. No matter what their future held, they would not regret this moment.

He lifted her leg to encircle his waist. Her mouth parts in breathless expectation as he very surely pressed into her. Anna's head fell back against the wall, her lips closing tightly as she stopped herself from moaning out loud.

"I love you, Anna. I love you. I love you!" Finn pushed in further, hips flush, adjusting the angle, savoring the feel of her around him. He sensed a deep moan of his own looming too close to the surface of his lips, but before he cried out, lips pressed against his mouth, smothering the sound. The gesture only aroused him further, and he raised her other leg, wrapping it around his body, his grip secure on her hips. Her hands left his hair to grasp his shoulders for support. He begins to move, pressing her harder against the wall.

His pace increased as he held onto her hips with bruising strength. He moved his mouth to her neck once more, relishing the rapid throb of her pulse; he wanted to suck the skin that covered its beat but knew better than to leave marks in such a visible place, settling instead for a deep kiss. Anna's fingers tangled again in his hair, pulling fiercely. Her other hand continued to press against his shoulder, hastening him in his movements.

As the conscientious rhythm continued, Finn felt Anna's muscles tensing much sooner than usual. She came quickly, so high-strung after all the separation, anticipation, and heartache. Her tightly shut lips gave way, and a loud moan left her mouth, echoing across the room; to Finn, it was the perfect sound. He continues to thrust unyieldingly, wanting to lose himself the feel of her. Only when her trembling abated, he grunted a few low rumbles into her ear, his body as desperate for release as hers. His head rested on her shoulder as they held each other, their breathing turning slower, the air around them heavy and suffused with the scent of their pleasure. Finally, he set her down on the floor with care; her legs swayed, but she quickly regained her balance.

He ran his fingers through his hair, bringing the strands back to its previous order. He then stepped behind Anna, his hand reaching out to smooth her disheveled locks, his eyes carefully inspecting her back and luckily finding no signs of her being backed up against such a solid surface. He finished his survey with a brief kiss on her shoulder. The softness of the caress brought tears back to her eyes. Such an intimate moment was at odds with the emotional distance that resumed between them once their clothes were back on. Anna's had secretly hoped that Finn would pull her to the bed so she could nestle in his arms, and she could finally sleep.

"We need to talk. But it's almost time to get Violet from school..." His gaze was somber. Anna shook her head and placed a hand on his chest, she leaned forward and pressed a kiss on his lips, a slow and gentle one. He didn't pull away.

"It's alright. Now probably isn't the right time considering…what just happened."

"Anna, I need you to know that my love for you is not in doubt."

"I know. That's what makes this so painful." Anna bent to pick up the clutch that had fallen unceremoniously to the floor when he pulled her into the room. She secured it under her arm and walked towards the door. She attempted a smile but couldn't manage it.

"I promise to call you tomorrow, ok?" he said. This time he avoided her eyes.

"Tomorrow." she nodded.

As she left the building, all she could think was that another sleepless night lay before her, and she didn't know how many more would follow.

*Authors Note: I hadn't planned on posting this chapter because we have not really seen Finn and Anna together since their argument save for a brief moment at the MC. But after encouragement from those that previewed it, I decided to throw it up for fun anyway. I hope you enjoy.


	39. Chapter 39

**MetroCourt, Port Charles**

It was Friday night, and Anna was grateful that the long exhausting week was at an end. She was more than ready to unwind as they entered the Saturday-night-crowd filled dining room. Anna's arm curled contentedly around Finn's forearm, and she held his gaze in hers as she scanned the faces around her.

The Metro Court was buzzing with activity and already quite warm, so Anna shrugged off her coat into Finn's waiting hands and unwound the scarf from around her neck, revealing her body encased in a form-fitting black dress. The ink-black fabric skimmed her body like a glove, and Finn tried not to gape at her openly but failed spectacularly. Anna gave a sly smile knowing the dress had the effect she intended when she bought it at Wyndham's on a whim. She had barely stepped foot out of the dressing room when Felicia said: "Buy it."

Finn cleared his throat as she turned towards him. "Did I tell you yet that you look beautiful this evening?" he asked.

"No you haven't, but I will take the compliment." she winked so quickly at him he thought maybe he had imagined it. A full grin bloomed on his lips.

"Will you? Good to know."

The corner of her mouth turned up almost simultaneously. Even in a crowded room, she could still enjoy the way the precisely cut jacket framed Finn's broad shoulders and stature. "Yes. And you look handsome as always. Have I told you that I like how you fill out a three-piece suit? Although you are equally appealing out of it." She remembered earlier when she was in no hurry herself, the robe tied loosely around her naked body, leisurely applying moisturizer to her hands and enjoying the sight of him getting dressed for their rare evening out.

Satisfied with her eyes appraising the full length of him, he responded. "Anna Devane, are you trying to make me blush?"

She stood up straighter and aimed a sultry smile at him. "I'm trying to give you a hint about how I plan for this evening to end," she purred, suppressing a smirk of smug satisfaction when his eyes widened, and she saw a flush that reached his ears.

"I like how that sounds." Finn pursed a smile and reached out to give a soft stroke of his thumb to her hip, happy to feel her shift slightly under his touch. "I'm going to take our jackets to the coat check. Do you want to go to the bar to get yourself a drink?"

A bright glimmer of amusement was in her eyes as she answered. "No. Not yet. I'll wait here for you." She smiled widely at him, and Finn couldn't resist sliding his arm around her small waist and placing a quick kiss on her lips. He felt her body respond and pulled back. He was enjoying her wanting him.

"I'll be right back," he whispered into her ear, relishing the feel of her shiver at his words.

"I know," she stood on the tips of her toes and kissed him again softly, "I will be here," her mouth lingered close to his still.

Finn's chest rose in elation; his hands pressed firmer against hers before Finn stepped away and made sure that their jackets were safely stowed in the coat check room.

Then Finn looked back at her. She stood gracefully, cooley elegant in her high heels and dress, and Finn was so focused on the picture she made that he didn't notice when he walked right into the path of some poor unsuspecting stranger.

Except it wasn't a stranger.

He had barrelled directly into Alexis Davis and knocked her backward. Fortunately, she was being held upright rather than sprawled on the ground.

"Oh my God! Alexis! I'm so sorry. Are you alright?"

"Yes, fortunately, I had someone to catch me." A good looking man in a suit, tie, and with graying hair that seemed unsure if it was coming or going held her fast in his arms and quickly helped set her to rights. Alexis ran her fingers through her hair, making sure that all her ends were tucked in and her skirt straight.

The nervousness on her face was unmistakable. Finn recognized the look of someone on a date.

Then it dawned on him, and Finn looked at her companion with recognition. "Hello, You are Dr. Byrn? I have seen your name on the schedule at General Hospital. I'm Dr. Hamilton Finn." He figured that Alexis wouldn't appreciate him betraying that he mostly knew about him from her long stream-of-consciousness elaborations before and after their AA meetings. Finn offered his hand, and Neil gripped it with impressive strength.

"Hello, I've heard your name, and it's nice to formally meet you." Neil smiled

"Same."

Out of the corner of his eye, Finn could see Anna approaching. She had abandoned her post and moved to stand by his side. She waited there a moment and then resisted the impulse to roll her eyes. She would have to take the initiative.

"Hello." Anna stepped forward and looked at Finn expectantly until he suddenly caught the clue that he should introduce her.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Dr. Byrn, this is Anna Devane, my fiance."

"It's a pleasure, Dr. Byrne." Anna held out her hand

"Oh, I remember. You both were engaged at the Nurses Ball, I believe. And please, call me Neil, Ms. Devane."

"Of course. And it's Anna then."

"Anna."

An awkward quietness settles between the foursome, and Alexis rocked back and forth on her heels uncertain of what to say as the silence took root.

"Hello, Alexis." Anna addressed her.

Alexis smiled tightly, wishing she sounded more natural, but she was feeling uncomfortable and off-center with Finn looking at her curiously. Adding to the strange mixture of emotions was feeling the warmth of Neil's hand against the small of her back. It hadn't left since he caught her.

"It's nice to see you, Anna." she managed.

Fortunately, at that moment, a cheerful hostess approached them and asked if they had a reservation. Finn nodded in affirmation.

"Hi, yes, we have a 7:30 reservation. Under Finn, table for two."

Neil nodded his own greeting and answered, "And Byrn. We have a reservation for two also."

The young blonde woman smiled, "Yes. Let me see if your tables are ready. Just one moment." She walked briskly away. Finn and Anna stepped back a few paces, and Alexis saw her moment to place even more distance between them. She walked swiftly away, and Neil quirked his eye at her and followed, his feet keeping time with the clicking of her heels.

"Was it my imagination, or did I sense some awkwardness there?"

 _Damn his perceptiveness._

"We dated." She said quickly in her usual blunt manner, darting a glance over her shoulder. "Finn and I."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Oh so is he one of those ruthless, cruel, and unattainable men that you are so drawn to?"

"Ruthless and cruel? No. No. Finn was sort of a one-off. Actually, Finn's probably one of the more "normal" people I've been involved with. If a man who has an emotional support reptile and a fascination for clean silverware can be considered normal."

"So there is a precedent then of you having a non- inappropriate relationship with a non-power hungry or unattainable man. See, proof of concept. That's encouraging."

"Well almost. I feel I should disclose that we were both in AA when we decided to begin our... our...uh... _.consolatory intimacy,_ so inappropriate still checks out but only because one of the main rules of recovery is to not get involved with others in the same recovery program.

"So why didn't it work out between you two?"

"Well, Exhibit A- the now-fiancee. "Alexis gestured towards Anna, who was in the middle of laughing huskily at whatever Finn was whispering into her ear. Neil opened his mouth but she put up her hand to halt whatever sentence he was thinking up. "And before you say anything, yes I am well aware that my choice to embark on a tryst with a man who was already in love with another woman was ill-advised. But we have already discussed my penchant for poor relationship choices. But more important than Exhibit A is Exhibit B, my own personal, relational hang-ups on a certain individual that I won't bother to mention here."

"Is there a reason you are reluctant to talk about Julian? Even to the point that you refuse to say his name?"

"Are you asking why I'm being evasive? Maybe it's because he's like Bloody Mary. If I say his name three times, he'll suddenly materialize and look there is a mirror right over there, I'd better not risk it."

"You are using humor to deflect, and I will let you right now because you look beautiful tonight, and I'm happy to be here with you, but one day you are going to have to conjure up enough courage to discuss him with me." Neil took a step closer until he was an inch or two inside her personal space. Alexis was very aware of how close he was. For a brief moment, she thought he was going to kiss her, which despite their very public first display of affection, they hadn't tried since. But instead, he continued speaking.

"I say this because, while it's interesting on sort of a...psychology-enthusiast-level, it's probably not the best thing for us to have an invisible third wheel in this relationship. At least not in the long term."

Neil reached and took her hand in his and placed his lips tenderly on each of her knuckles. Alexis could actually _feel_ the color surging to her cheeks, and she felt her heartbeat out of her chest like it was attempting to make a break for it, and she didn't blame it one bit. She felt breathless what his words implied and tried her best not to stutter and ramble her way through cross-examination of his intent. She felt a wild mix of panic, bafflement, hope, and, based on the telltale look in his eyes, lust. She took a deep breath to compose herself before beginning.

"Long term? Now when you say "long term" in conjunction with the word "relationship" what do you-"

Before she could get any farther, the hostess interrupted their critical moment. She was so flustered she almost didn't notice that Finn and Anna had been beckoned towards them. They both stood there, puzzled.

"I'm sorry, sirs. We have a table ready, but I apologize there seems to be a mistake. We had you down as a party of four under the name Byrn not two parties of two. As you can see, we are very busy tonight. It will be at least an hour to an hour and a half until another table is available. Or we can seat you as one party right now. If you would like to dine together?"

Neil clasped his hands together and turned to his companion. "We would love to have you two join us. Right, Alexis?"

"Uh...sure…" she said hesitantly.

"Oh that's very kind of you-" Anna started to say before she felt Finn's hand on her elbow pulling her away.

"Um, could you excuse us for a moment?" He smiled and nodded at Neil and shepherded Anna away from the hostess desk.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"Should we really be intruding on their evening?"

"Do you have another suggestion? Would you like to try and go somewhere else…" Anna suggested

"It's a Saturday night. We aren't likely to get a table wherever we go without a reservation."

"Well _this_ dress," she smoothed her hands down the supple fabric, "wasn't meant for all-you-can-eat wings night at the Floating Rib." She did her best to mask her disappointment, but Finn saw her crestfallen look before she could stow it away. "If we aren't staying here, I guess we should go home then..."

"No way!" Finn said determinedly. "Mac and Felicia offered to watch Violet for us, and I promised I would take you out somewhere and that we would talk about adult things or anything other than the Princess Unicorn Power Squad."

"Glow Squad," Anna said absentmindedly as she looked with envy at all the adults seated at tables, not a plate of mac and cheese or chicken fingers to be seen.

"What?"

"It's the Princess Unicorn _Glow_ Squad," she said in a clipped manner.

"Whatever," Finn said with exasperation.

"Well then, if you want adult conversation, why don't we have dinner with other adults?

"Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, we could try Pazzulo's. Maybe we will get lucky-"

"Why are you being so strange about this? We can have a lovely meal with lovely people. Things were tense with Alexis for a while there, due in no small part to your terrible timing at the Nurses Ball I might add, and this might be the perfect opportunity to bury any awkwardness that might remain. Alexis and I are both professional women, and now that Julian is no longer a barrier between us, there is no reason why we can't be better friends than we are. Now don't sulk."

"I'm not sulking."

"You are a little. But I'll admit that it doesn't diminish how handsome you are one iota." Anna leaned in close, slid her hands up his jacket lapels, and gave him her brightest smile. Finn was dazzled and instinctively leaned in to kiss her, but before he could, she leaned around him and called out, "Alexis! We would love to join you and Neil. It's very kind of you to share your table."

Finn sighed. Enough avoiding the inevitable. It was just an impromptu double-date. He could do this. How bad could it be?

They wound their way through the occupied tables to a corner four-top, and they had barely settled into their seats before their waiter approached.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" he asked politely.

"Club soda with a twist of lime would be great," said Finn

"Coffee, black," Neil ordered

"Water is fine for me, thank you." Alexis decided.

"Scot-" Anna looked around the table and stopped herself. "Uh...Actually, I'll have hot tea, please." Finn raised an eyebrow at her in surprise. She lifted her chin haughtily in reply.

"Green or black tea?" asked the waiter.

"Black. Thank you. With cream and sugar," Anna requested. She was having a nice dinner with her fiance and friends. There really was no need for anything harder than tea.

Once their drinks had been ordered and delivered, it was time for small talk to begin, but Finn was at sea when it came to how to proceed. Fortunately, Neil began for him.

"So Finn, Alexis tells me that your specialty at the hospital is infectious disease."

"Yes, it is." Finn wiped his mouth and nodded.

"That has to be difficult work. I imagine it takes a fair amount of deductive reasoning, especially if the root cause of your patient's illness is a mystery. Almost working backward, treating the symptoms first before you can find their origin." Finn opened his mouth to respond but was beaten to the punch by Anna.

"Being an infectious disease doctor is really just one percent brain worms and ninety-nine percent Chlamydia, right Finn?"

She started to laugh, but as soon as she saw the look on Alexis and Neil's faces and heard Finn's pained groan, Anna regretted her words, and she cringed. That joke had been better coming from Finn in the comfort of their living room and was probably not the best for dinner conversation. When had she gotten so bad at small talk?

Neil cleared his throat politely and was kind enough to try and rescue her. "So, Anna. What do you do for a living? Your accent leads me to believe that you hail from across the Atlantic, but perhaps you have resided in the US for a number of years." He smiled at her invitingly, and Anna appreciated his ability to put a person at ease.

"Well done!" She acknowledged his correct hypothesis with a bow of her head. "Yes I'm in Port Charles by way of Canada and originally England. As for what I do? Oh well, that's a complicated question to answer, really. I am a contracted liaison to a large international intelligence agency-"

"She's a spy," Finn said dryly.

"A spy?" Neil said with astonishment

She shot a hard look at Finn and then turned back towards Neil. "Well...yes. My career has always had an espionage component to it, but the word _spy_ makes it seem more cloak and dagger than maybe it should. Agent is probably a better term to use."

"That's fascinating. I think everyone as a child had aspirations of being James Bond when they grew up."

"Not everyone…" Finn muttered under his breath. Anna kicked him swiftly under the table, and he sputtered into his club soda. Fortunately, Neil didn't seem to notice, and he continued. "I'm sure the reality is nothing like the movies. No exotic islands, eccentric villains, jumping off trains or defusing bombs, right?"

Anna could feel Finn's eyes on her, and she laughed nervously. It came out louder than she intended. "Well...You know what they say if I told you I'd have to kill you- Waiter!" She waved her hand to get his attention. She avoided Finn's smirk but knew his eyes were saying. This dinner had been her idea.

"Can I please get a scotch? A double." She was wrong. There was no way she was going to get through this evening without some sort of liquid fortification.

Their waiter returned with her drink, and after he took their entree orders, an awkward silence fell over the foursome. Anna, legs crossed, leaned back and nursed her scotch. Finn occupied himself with inspecting the silverware. Alexis read over her dessert menu like it was a legal brief. That left Neil to get the conversation going once more.

"So I find it helpful when making new acquaintances or deepening existing relationships to use an icebreaker to help get a conversation started. Would any of you object to that?

Alexis picked up her water glass and took a long gulp, while Finn became suddenly very concerned with the state of his nails. Anna's eyes narrowed, and then she looked up and smiled.

"That sounds very interesting. What do you have in mind?"

"My favorite is called Common Ground. It's an icebreaker where individuals at a table have to find at least four things they have in common. Exploring commonalities and differences is an important part of interpersonal connectedness. Anna, why don't we start with you and Alexis. What do you two have in common?"

Finn sat exceptionally still when he felt two pairs of brown eyes settle on his face and would have given anything to melt away into nothing and disappear altogether. Anna looked quickly away and drained her glass of its contents, then signaled for another.

Alexis felt an overwhelming need to get the conversation moving anywhere else as quickly as possible. "I don't think we really need to talk about what we shared-I mean share...I mean, we are sharing a meal... that's something we share. We share things as necessary...but that is to say-uh...we aren't in the habit of sharing things often..." The words tumbled out of her mouth without heed and felt her cheeks flush. They flamed even hotter when she felt Neil place his hand over hers and squeezed it comfortingly.

"It's not meant to be intimidating or difficult. It's good to let our guards down once in a while. Think of it as a way to help you relax around others."

"And what's more relaxing than telling people intimate details about your life?" Finn raised his hands and shrugged, and the sarcasm fairly dripped from him. He was certain if looks could kill Anna would be arrested for his murder.

"Sorry, about him." Anna apologized quickly. "He gets like this when he's tired or needs a snack."

"It's true." Alexis assented

Finn thought it best to keep his mouth shut.

Anna gritted her teeth and set her mind to the questions Neil had posed. "Alright, so what do Alexis and I have in common. Ok, I'm willing to try this." Anna sat for a moment, though. "Well, we are both a mother?" She said slowly, her accent on display through her non-rhotic Rs.

Neil nodded in encouragement. "There you go. But try to think of things that are outside of the box."

"We are both professional women in high stakes careers."

"That's good but still firmly in the box. Think of some things that are unique to you both."

Alexis said the first thing that popped into her head. She wasn't sure why it was the first thing that occurred to her, but it definitely was outside of the box. It wasn't even in the same universe as a box.

"We were both married to the mob and somehow lived to tell the tale," Alexis said boldly.

Anna stared at her. The initial spark of shock faded, and Anna nodded her head slightly. "Alive, but now without losing a piece or two of our hearts."

They held each other's gaze for a long moment, a thread of heartache and pain was spun between them. There was a moment of kinship kindle in each, and then they smiled broadly at each other, tension melting like winter snow in spring. They understood each other at that moment; they knew what common ground they held. They were survivors.

"I'm pretty sure we have both been held, hostage?" Anna offered.

"That's a good one!" Alexis snapped her fingers. "I forgot about that!"

"And we both were held hostage by Jerry Jax, no less." Anna chuckled.

"That's right!" Alexis exclaimed, then leaned in towards Neil and lowered her voice." He was one of those psychopaths with aspirations for world domination that I tend to attract."

Finn looked up at her startled.

Alexis waved him off "I'm not talking about you. You're just a run-of-the-mill doctor."

"Thank you, I think…?"

"I have a good one. We have both been accused of murder!" Anna added enthusiastically.

"And have both "killed" people that turned out to be alive!"

"Yes, we have!"

Alexis and Anna leaned across the table, and their glasses clinked sharply as they saluted each other and laughed until they were both out of breathe.

At that moment, their food arrived, and they all tucked into their steaks and salads while Anna and Alexis reminisced over some of their more unusual life experiences.

"Alright, ladies," Neil interjected. "Maybe we should table your common ground discussion for now and move onto Finn and Alexis?"

"You want to go first?" Alexis asked politely

"Nah, why don't you."

"Ok, we are both in AA-" Alexis stated

"We both like donuts and bad coffee," Finn interjected.

Alexis plowed ahead, "We both like to hide our true feelings behind sarcasm and bad jokes."

"We both have a habit of wearing suits and like to finish conversations quickly. You said four things, and that's definitely four things, so I think we can close out that part of the discussion."

"Alright Finn, I appreciate a person that can get to the point quickly, but how about you and Anna. You are going to be married, so this is a good time to see where you are starting from."

They looked at each other, and both of their minds went blank. The silence was deafening in Anna's ears, and she was sure that the color she could feel creeping into her cheeks was betraying her embarrassment. Here they were sitting and staring at each other like deer in headlights rather than two people who were in love and tune with each other. She felt the panic rise.

Then Finn smiled into her eyes and took her hand in his. She knitted her brows in puzzlement when a smile broke over his face, and his eyes sparkled.

"We both sleep naked."

The tension that had wound around her evaporated, and the whole table laughed.

"And we are good at taking down international drug cartels," she added, squeezing his hand and gazing into his eyes. Finn's blue eyes held her brown ones, and the rest of the room faded into the background. Finn and Anna only had eyes for each other.

"And we both have been blessed with beautiful daughters. And we have experienced intense loss and been able to find love again."

The waiter arrived with their checks. And Finn reached for it while Anna turned back to their dinner companions.

"And we have a little girl we need to say goodnight to when we get home, so we should get on our way." Anna looked at Neil and smiled. "Thank you so much for a lovely evening. The conversation was...unexpected."

"It was nice to meet you."

"Good night, you to both of you." Finn nodded to Alexis and Neil as he tucked money into the check presenter and then stood up and held his hand out, and Anna took it as they rose together. Neil stood politely as well. Anna looked at Alexis with approval. _Nice catch._

Alexis and Neil watched as Finn wound his arm tightly around Anna's waist, pulled her close, and whispered into her ear. The corners of Anna's lips curled up, and she leaned her head on his shoulder. Finn kissed her temple as they walked away.

"They seem happy," Neil observed.

Alexis smiled softly. "They do. I'm glad for them."

"I'm happy too," he said.

She turned to look at him and was immediately struck by his eyes piercing hers.

"I hope you are ready for dessert because we haven't talked about the things _we_ have in common yet. I don't intend to leave until the topic has been thoroughly explored."

A wide grin lit her face. "Well, you are lucky because I have all night."


	40. Chapter 40

_Anna and Finn's Manor, Port Charles_

It had been a _long_ day. Both of them felt relief as the heavy door closed behind them, and they were welcomed by a soothing warmth coming from embers in the fireplace. Anna had kept the house running smoothly, but she took a deep cleansing breath of gratitude that the people that made her house a home were returned to it.

"Roxy I'm home!" Violet announced proudly, and once her backpack was dropped to the ground, she was running up the stairs as fast as her little legs would carry her.

"Whoa slow down, you are going to fall if you aren't careful-" He called after her, but her speed didn't slow an inch. Finn sighed and dropped all his luggage unceremoniously on the floor and shook his head.

"You realize that this is going to be the first of many times she's not going to listen to a word you say."

"I know. I just figured I had a few years yet before it was full mutiny."

Anna laughed softly, and Finn's eyes ran over her. Out of habit, he turned towards her, lifting his hands to help remove her scarf and her coat, but he stopped suddenly and dropped his hands to his sides. She noticed his hesitations and looked away while she took off her things herself.

"Um you can go put your things away in the bedroom, and I can supervise the bedtime routine for tonight. If you want, of course." She longed to do something so trivial...so mundane as combing out hair and supervising the brushing of teeth.

"You don't need to. I can help her."

"But I'd like to. If you don't mind?"

Finn looked at her with an unreadable expression and then nodded. He hefted his bags and mounted the stairs without looking back.

Apprehension settled into the pit of her stomach. He had been...distant. Cool. Even though he was home again, she worried that something had changed between them since they had battled in this very room. She was unable to rid herself of that nagging sense that even Peter's exoneration didn't repair the wounds from their words and actions. But he was here; he asked to come home. He still wanted to be with her? Didn't he?

Anna moved herself upstairs and soon got Violet in her pajamas and into her room. Finn joined them, changed into a black t-shirt and sweats, his preferred lounging clothes. Anna couldn't take her eyes off him.

Violet clambered into bed, and Finn helped settle the pillows and blankets about her, with Bella and Otto flanking on either side of her like twin plush deities of protection. "Daddy you read every night. Anna needs a turn. My teacher says you have to take turns."

Finn laughed "Oh well, I wouldn't want to disappoint Miss Tara. Anna, would you like to read tonight?"

Anna's eyes met Finn's with an amused smile while he nodded in silent assurance that he didn't mind forgoing this nightly ritual.

" I would love to. Let me find something…" she scanned the shelf next to the bed, and her eyes lit up as they rested on the spine of a well-worn book. She took it in her hands as if it was a priceless artifact, and to her, it was. She searched her memory for recollections of her time as a child, and only stories like this one remain.

Anna possessed nothing from her own childhood; in fact, truth be told, she barely had a childhood. But that made the books and toys from Robin and Emma all the more precious, and she held onto them, gathering what she could from Mac's attic and slipping them out of GoodWill boxes as Robin and Patrick sorted and packed up their lives before their move to Berkeley.

"How about this one. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland." Anna sat on the bed and reached out to stroke the little girl's hair, which she had twisted in a bun on top of her head. "It's about a little girl with a big imagination who has all sorts of adventures in a wonderful and strange land. And there is even a tea party in it, and we know how much you love those."

Finn sat on the other side of his daughter, arm embracing her firmly as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I told daddy that I like going on adventures, but not if they take too long."

"Well, books are an adventure you can have without even leaving your bedroom. Let's begin. Chapter one, down the rabbit hole. Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, "and what is the use of a book," thought Alice "without pictures or conversations?" '

"Like daddy's books! They never have pictures."

"Hey! You will appreciate a good research book when you are older, kid."

Anna laughed and continued on. Finn was familiar with the story even though he couldn't remember if he had ever read it on his own. But even if he had, there was no way it ever compared to the sound of her lilting English accent reading the words of Lewis Carroll. Her voice was clear and sweet and made the words _live_. Anna was taking Violet on a journey with the sound of her voice, and he couldn't help but be carried away with her- she was brilliant in every sense of the word. And she had them both in thrall.

Finn drank in the sight of the two of them, an image of contented tranquillity until he saw dark lashes drooping low over bright blue eyes and heard the even sound of breathing. The little girl's face was half-buried in Anna's shoulder, and her tiny hands gripped Bella. Violet was asleep, free to follow white rabbits, and find her own adventures in dreamland. Sitting in the doorway, Finn looked with fervent affection at each face. He used to consider life as the most fragile thing, easily broken and slowly vanishing in the continuous flow of time, reminding him of the purposelessness of any attachment. But now attachment was too tame a word for what he felt for these two.

Anna slowly moved off the bed, careful not to disturb the sleeping beauty, taking a moment to turn off the lamp and turn on the nightlight. Finn pulled the covers up under his daughter's chin, and he marveled at the perfection of her, growing and ever-changing, and that somehow, he played a role in creating her. He avoided dwelling on what he missed and instead focused on the blessing she was in his life now.

He picked up Otto for a moment and then put the plush back down on the bed, bringing it closer within the immediate reach of tiny arms and planted a final, loving kiss on her forehead before exiting quietly.

He stood for a moment outside the door, looking at the streak of light that streamed from his bedroom. Finn couldn't deny that he missed the feel of his own bed. The hotel mattress had done his back no favors, but neither had the absence of her body wrapped around his.

A week ago, if asked, Finn would have said that her relationship with Anna was as strong as ever. Oh, they did argue, like every other couple, about trivial things like division of labor or lack of milk in the fridge or Anna leaving her gun cleaning kit on the kitchen table. Nothing major. Nothing that couldn't be resolved before they went to bed. Never going to bed angry was a cliche, but they never had a reason to hold a grudge over till morning. And then they had fought. And with an intensity and ferocity that sent him out into the night.

He stepped into their bedroom. His eyes fell on the bed, on her side, the covers were wrinkled and looked as if they had been hastily pulled up when she had left this morning. His side was still smooth and tucked in, just as he had left it three days prior. There was a pile of WSB files on her nightstand, and her glasses set on top, telling him that she had stayed up late trying to distract herself with work. Sleep had probably been at a premium for her as it had for him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her rub her temples and heave a sigh that spoke of her mental and physical capacities drained and empty.

"You look tired." He came closer, resting his hand on their shared dresser.

She smiled grimly. "I'm exhausted. I couldn't sleep without you next to me. Even after six months by myself in hotel rooms scattered across the globe, I never felt as lonely as I did the last three nights. It was...difficult, Finn."

"I didn't sleep well, either. Violet didn't want to be alone, and she kicked pretty hard, no matter what I ended up with a foot in my back. I don't know how she can move so much. I spent most of the night worried she was going to end up on the floor." He quipped; humor as a defensive mechanism was a habit he couldn't seem to break.

Anna busied herself with folding his shirt, which he had set on the back of her vanity chair. She seemed to be wrestling with her own mind whether or not to speak. Then she turned and refocused on his eyes, her lips set in a thin line, determined to cut through this facade that he held in place. "Why were you cold? Why didn't you return my calls?"

Finn looked at her and then shrugged as if he was at a loss. "What was there to say, Anna? Like you said, we were at an impasse, and I wasn't sure what would happen."

"You walked out, Finn! You left our house, but you also left this ring on my finger. And then I texted you, and you didn't answer. I tried to talk to you, and you avoided me."

"I wasn't avoiding you."

"You say that, and yet you obviously came home when you know I was out to retrieve things. I'm a spy Finn; I can tell when objects have been moved and disturbed. Do you know what it felt like to be in that kind of limbo?"

"I was doing what I thought was best for Violet. I have to protect her."

"And that is what hurts the most. Don't you know that I would lay down my life to protect that little girl across the hall? Do you really think I would let any harm come to her? Or you? Violet and you...you are my family, as much my family as Robin or Emma or Noah. That you didn't have faith in me to protect the people I love is so painful. Don't you understand that? "

"I do know that, Anna." And he did. "I know that you don't want anything to happen to us. I was worried that you couldn't see the threat."

"I love Violet. You two are a package deal as far as I'm concerned. I missed you and her. I had to walk by her room and pick up her toys, knowing she wasn't going to play with them. If you thought there was the possibility that we couldn't work this out, why didn't you ask for your ring back?"

"Because I didn't want it back. It shouldn't be anywhere but your finger. And I even though I left couldn't wrap my head around the idea of you not being a part of my life."

They fell silent; the proclamations reverberate in the air between them, suffused with cracking tension despite the coolness of their tones. They stood, facing each other, letting the enormity of their confessions sink within their hearts.

"Anna-" he spoke after a moment, but she didn't give him a chance to finish.

"I'm getting into bed," she said abruptly. She walked over to the dresser and pulled it open. Without ceremony, she pulled her blouse over her head and kicked the shoes from her feet. She turned around then reached behind to undo the clasp of her bra, something he would normally have stepped in to help with, but her combative stance and the way frustration laced her every syllable kept him at bay. She put on a pajama set and headed for the bathroom. The sound of running water and brushing let him know she was taking her aggression out on her enamel and gums. She was still in a state of agitation when she returned.

Finn looked at her warily. "Maybe we aren't ready for this yet. I can go downstairs. Or sleep in the guest bedroom for the night-?"

"No!" She said with force. "We are getting in this bed _together_. Because we made a commitment to each other. And because we love each other. And I won't do this again, have you leave without taking the time to resolve our problem."

"What is our problem, Anna?" He asked he worked to keep his voice moderated.

"Our problem is running away when we need to face things head-on. Our problem is we talk to other people when we should talk to each other!" Anna's voice raised and cracked in the unforeseen outburst of honesty. Only now that their words had ceased, Anna realized how ragged her breathing has become, her chests rising and falling in shallow gasps. She looked at Finn and saw him equally agitated, the flush on his face betrayed the heat of his own temper.

She walked over to the bed and wrenched the covers back and climbed in, pulling the blankets up to her chin. Finn stood for a moment in contemplation and then crossed the room to his side of the bed and got in. He lay flat on his back and stared at the ceiling, hands behind his head, the foot of space between them feeling as wide as the Grand Canyon.

Time seemed to drag on, but Finn remained awake. He didn't feel the mattress shift or move under her weight, so he knew she was lying on her back and was staring upwards as well. Despite the tension that still ran between them, Finn's mood softened. It was good to be next to her again, even though he knew she was still steaming, but he still felt hollow. What he wanted was that feeling of solidarity and comfort back, but he had been the one to withdraw it. He remembered the look of anguish in her eyes, pleading for understanding that his hardened heart could not give. She had reached for him, and he had walked out of her grasp.

They were not used to this; this lack of intimacy, no touching, staying out of each other's personal space. He needed her to know that he regretted leaving her alone and in pain. Every minute of separation had felt like millennia.

 _He needed a connection._

So he reached out his hand, under the covers, across the cool no-man' s-land that divided them until he could feel the warmth of her. He let his pinky finger brush hers ever so gently, just so she knows he is there. He half expected her to pull away, but she didn't. Then He let the pad of his index finger run down the side of her hand. She surprised him when her hand suddenly covered his. Minutes went by silently before he realized she was still holding his hand. With a sigh, she squeezed it, turned her head to the side, and Finn could feel her eyes on him. And in spite of the darkness, he was sure that she could tell he was smiling.

Her hand moved, and he thought she was finally letting go, withdrawing again. For a brief moment, she did let go of him, he felt the cold seep in, and he didn't like it. But it only lasted a second because she enveloped his hand properly in his and laced their fingers together. Finn considered for a moment before he began to slowly trace his thumb over her palm. Their interplay of fingers was comforting and also essential.

He decided to take a gamble and slid closer to her, so they lay side by side shoulders touching, faces so close he could feel the warmth of her breath on his neck. He unclasped her hand, ran his fingers up and down her forearm, then down the side of her waist to her thigh, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. He heard the sharp intake of her breath, so he leaned in to take her earlobe in his mouth, his tongue running over it softly, enjoying the sound that came from her as he did.

He turned on his side, rose up on his forearm, and shifted until he was looking down at her. He settled his right hip on top of hers; his hand brushed her hair away from her shoulder and then trailed down her neck before he took her chin in his hand. His eyes searched hers before Finn placed his lips gently against her mouth, his fingers moved down and brushed over her rib cage, and for a moment, Anna forgot to breathe. Then his teeth grazed her lower lip, a silent request for access and forgiveness.

Would she let him in?

Her answer was decisive, and she lifted her head to press her lips firmly against his. Finn did not hesitate for even a second, his arms encircling her waist as he pulled her closer to him, responding to her kiss with equal urgency, desire brewing just beneath the fevered surface of his skin. Anna pressed against his body, soaking up his heat with gratitude. Her mouth moved greedily over his, hands gripping his face, a flip of her tongue making his lips part at once, and she deepened the kiss as if devouring all the words he had spoken, trying to relish their sincerity. The sensation of his kiss was as sweet as ever; the taste of adoration interlaced with a tang of fierce passion. They both groaned as their bodies took over their agitated minds, spoken words no longer having meaning. Finn's hand moved down to her back, gripping her firmly and pulled her hips forward to meet his. There was nothing more comforting to Anna than the feel of his weight on her body

Her hand slid down from his cheek, stroking his neck, down the planes of his torso before settling on the hem of his t-shirt. She pulled at it and swept it off of him. Her hands ran possessively up his back as he explored her body down to her thighs and stripped her bare of her clothing and what was remaining of his. She opened to him, and Anna's arms wrapped around his neck, her lips not leaving his as he settled between her legs. He paused as he rested on his forearms, his body tense over hers while hands grazed his chest in appreciation as he did so.

"I missed you."

"You did?" The timbre of her voice and her dark brown eyes questioned him.

"Yes Anna." the roughness of his voice told the story of nights as lonely as hers.

She smiled softly at the words. Her fingers moved down his chest, over the muscles of his abdomen, until her thumbs could feel the curve of his hip bones. Her eyes glowed in the dark.

"Then show me."

Anna arched her back, bushing her body against his, her hips nudged him forward, communicating that she needed him, and he obeyed at once. She savored the sensation of being together again.

 _They are a perfect fit in so many ways._

Anna didn't think she could ever tire of this. Finn closed his eyes, lost in the same feeling, the feeling of her surrounding him. But he did not let them linger in the moment as their unfulfilled need urged them on. He pinned her hips down again, harder this time and Anna moaned, her head tilting back. He pushed again and again, each motion of his hips more forceful than the previous one. She loved the view of his hair falling forward over his eyes, moving with the rhythm of their desire for the other. It didn't take long for release, both knowing exactly how to claim it from the other, soon Anna's fingers dug into his back as her body shivered. The pleasure always seemed so effortless when she was with Finn.

Once she stilled, he lifted himself up once again, and she allowed his arms to enfold her, holding her close as the tremble of her body slowly abated. Anna rested her forehead against his and breathed a contented sigh. His chin tilted up, and his lips pressed against her, gentler this time, the eye of calming devotion in the middle of the storm. There was serenity between their joined gazes. They were together. She turned limp in his arms, relaxed and trusting again, humming contentedly as she took a moment to nuzzle his neck, smelling clove and musk—the smell of _him_.

"This was our first real fight. And I can't promise it will be the last." his voice was husky; still, his arm stretching behind his head as he savored the feel of her body on his.

"Finn-" she pressed her hand firmly against his chest in a gesture of concern, lifting herself up to scrutinize him further. He instantly wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her back to rest on his torso in an attempt to appease her.

"But, I do promise to talk to you. You have always given me honesty, and you deserve it in return," he responded at once, reaching his hand out to stroke her cheek, making Anna close her eyes, savoring the caress.

"I know you were looking out for Violet and me," she admits, leaning into the caress further. "You want us all to be safe, and I do too. I'd never let anything harm either of you. I loved you first on your own merit, but now you and Violet are a package deal, and I love you both. It's easy to love her, and you are doing a marvelous job with her Finn. You were made to be a father. And I love you."

"And we love you. Bella and Otto do too."

Anna chuckled and buried her face in his chest. She felt her eyes grow heavy and decided to let sleep claim her. Finn caressed her shoulder and back until he heard the heavy sound of her breath in sleep. Then he followed her into dreamland with a smile on his face.

There was no place like home.


	41. Chapter 41

_Anna and Finn's Manor, Port Charles_

"Sorry, Anna! I know I said I would be home sooner, but those test results I thought were going to be in tomorrow came in tonight and…"

Finn stopped in his tracks at the image of blissful tranquillity before him, one he never thought could exist, at least not in his lifetime.

Two figures lying on the sofa enveloped in peaceful sleep, a woman and a child, a view that he had never lingered on, his life always moving at lightspeed, and now it is the only image he wished to preserve.

The little girl's face was hidden, buried deeply in Anna's shoulder, tiny hands grasping her blouse. Anna held her firmly in her arms, her head tilted back, her dark hair half-covering her face in waves, shining like the beacon in the last light in the growing night. Fallen and forgotten on the floor was the tented spine of a book, _Alice in Wonderland_. The one Violet had begged to continue to read; the one she insisted was "Anna's story" and she would accept no one else to tell.

He hesitated for a moment, not wanting to disturb their rest, but then his heart urged him forward, the distance between him and the scene needed to be crossed, a simple observation was not enough at that moment. His soft steps were silent against the floor as he walked into the living room and approached the sofa. His fingers twitched, and he couldn't resist reaching his hand out and brushing the hair away from Anna's face, uncovering the elegant lines of her face, their contour softened by the quietude of sleep. Finn's fingertips lingered on the soft skin of her cheek, caressing it gently. She did not stir, his touch a familiar constant in her life. Finn's hand then moved to touch his daughter's head, stroking her silky blonde locks just as tenderly. He smiled admiring, knowing the dark lashes that dropped to her pink cheeks fell over eyes as blue as his own.

Something about them brought to mind the paintings of Mary Cassatt that he remembered from his time abroad. Now he remade the composition with Anna and Violet's faces, only to discover the piece could not embody their beauty in all its exquisiteness, constantly evolving, unlike the static figures in a painting, no matter how well-rendered. Finn almost couldn't articulate the joy he felt in seeing the two of them bond to each other. It was not a bond of blood but of love and affection just as strong.

As peaceful as they appeared, he could not let them sleep there all night. His hands moved, taking a gentle hold of his daughter, wanting to slowly remove her from the embrace. Anna's eyes sprung open instantly, alerted by the attempt, a fierce protectiveness coloring her gaze like sharp blades, ready to cut, making Finn's heart swell in his chest, fresh adoration flowing through his veins, crimson red and warm. She was a protector, and her instinct was to protect Violet with every fiber of her being as was his. The flames in Anna's eyes ceased to burn when she saw him. Her body relaxed, eyelids once again heavy and beginning to close.

She smiled her beautiful smile. "You're home."

"Don't worry. I'll take her to bed," Finn whispered softly, smiling as Anna's arms gave way at once, allowing him to take the sleeping child from her.

A small mewl of discontent left the girl's lips as he pulled her away from Anna's cozy embrace. He hugged her to him with the utmost care, not wanting to wake her, and as soon as he brought her to his chest, she sighed and nestled closer, her hands finding another familiar hold in his dress shirt.

"Sorry. We thought if we read on the couch, we might see you come home, but I don't think either of us made it very far, but be prepared to ask her why a raven is like a writing desk, her answers were something else. She's such a clever little thing."

"I see she finally tired herself out," he said, adjusting his arms, ensuring she rested comfortably.

"Or rather managed to tire me," Anna replied, her voice still dulled by sleep but her face smiling. She moves slowly, straightening her head, hand reaching for her neck, the muscles stiffened from the clumsy resting position.

Since she had taken possession of their house as her own, Violet had swiftly transformed her newfound abode into her castle. Finally, being able to explore on her own, the patter of feet and loud laughter echoed constantly down the corridors and stairway, curiosity and imagination fuelling her endless energy. Anna or Finn following behind, cautioning her to slow down; well, he was doing the cautioning while Anna placed her hand on his to hold him back a moment. He was learning to curb his desire to encase her in bubble wrap.

Anna moved her head to the side as she stretched, exposing her neck in the process. Finn's jaw twitched, longing for nothing more than to use his hands to relieve her discomfort, but first things first.

"I will be right back," he promised solemnly. "Don't go anywhere."

Anna barely nodded, her head dipping to rest on the back of the sofa as her shoulders rounded forward, her knees curling up to her chest once more in search of interrupted sleep.

Smiling at that sight of her, Finn left the room with Violet tucked safely in his hold. He walked up the stairs slowly, but she remained fast asleep, curled up against his shoulder. He marveled at the perfection of her, growing and ever-changing even in the short time she had been in his life.

Upon reaching her room, he placed Violet down on her bed, a task proving harder than it seemed with her unwillingness to leave his arms and his equal reluctance to let her go. She murmured softly, but once her head sank into a pillow, she returned to her tranquil slumber. Finn covered her with a blanket and tucked her in with care, then made sure that all her chosen toys were close by; Bella and Otto presiding.

Finn smiled, remembering the pure wonder in her eyes when she discovered the real animals on loan for her birthday. The excitement in her gaze was accompanied by Anna's bemused one, directed at him, ensuring that he would not get any spontaneous ideas.

His final act was to place a loving kiss on her forehead before exiting quietly. The door closed gently behind him, the silence of the dark hallway instinctively sharpened his senses, even though the house was silent with two of its tenants resting peacefully in undisturbed sleep. It was late, much later than he expected to return home tonight; he felt a sharp twinge of guilt at the thought of Anna going through the dinner and nighttime routine all by herself. Despite his lingering sense of guilt, he couldn't help but smile, seeing her like that, arms enfolding Violet. These tiny moments of domesticity will never cease to amaze him; there was magic in every moment they shared. He felt relief to know that Violet was in such experienced and capable hands. He was more sure than ever that falling in love with Anna Devane and asking her to marry him was one of the best decisions of his life.

He didn't want to miss a moment of it.

When he returned downstairs, he found Anna asleep with her head once again pillowed against the sofa. He went to her without delay, sitting on the edge of the cushion and reaching his arm out to guide her body closer to him. His hand on her back, her head instantly moves and rolls to rest on his shoulder. His fingers found their purpose at once, gently stroking and pressing the knotted muscles on the back of her neck. Anna hummed with relief, her body pressing to his in obvious appreciation of his touch.

"Is she asleep?" she murmured into his neck, attempting to lift her head, but its heaviness and his inviting warmth pulled her back down instantly.

"She is," Finn sat back so she could rest more comfortably, his fingers still massaging the back of her neck, "And you should go back to sleep too."

"I am not asleep. I am merely resting my eyes," she insisted but snuggled closer, nose burrowing in his shoulder.

"Of course," Finn didn't argue, finding her barely conscious state utterly endearing, as was her intuitive need for closeness, "But perhaps it would be more comfortable to rest your eyes in our bed," he suggested gently.

Another soft sigh fell from her lips and caressed his neck with an enjoyable warmth, but she did not reply.

"Anna?" he asked after a moment, his voice barely a whisper, in case she had fallen asleep altogether. She nuzzled his neck, searching for the skin beneath the cotton.

"Yes," she purred, "That is better," she exhales contentedly as her hand rests on his chest, fingers finding gaps between buttons, eager to venture beneath his shirt in search of heat. And no wonder, since the comfort of his torso is what she associates with their restful nights together.

He brushed the hair away from her cheek, an almost involuntary gesture, and Finn continued to smile, pausing for a moment to take in the picture gathered in his arms. She was a petite frame in blue velvet and looked so peaceful. This is all he wanted; for her to be safe and content.

His smile widened, Finn did not try to talk to her, simply enveloping her further, waiting for her to drift away completely. And soon enough, her breaths even, her body languid and relaxed in his hold, a clear sign of deep sleep.

Finn's arms hooked under Anna's legs and supported her back as he lifted her up with tender ease. He left the darkened room and once again made his way up the stairs, carrying precious cargo, trusted into his care with similar willingness. His grip tenses slightly as he considers the gravity of her trust; it is not something she had given up easily before. He tightened his grasp, holding her surely; he had forsaken her confidence once, but never again.

The bedroom is sheathed in darkness, the last sparks of light fading quickly, but he enters it with confidence, the path to their bed he knows by heart. He set Anna down on the mattress and lay down next to her at once, gathering her closer and allowing her to reclaim her sleeping spot on his chest, the transition effortless enough for her to remain asleep. He smoothed her hair, fingers tracing its length, then moved to stroke her neck in soft caresses, making her sigh in her sleep, her body flush against his.

The purple sky outside had long faded into black, sealing them in all its serenity. In the stillness of their space, Finn feels Anna's heartbeat, pulsating against his chest, overpowering his senses. He used to think he could only truly live if he could dull the pain of being alive, but now he knows he could not have been more wrong. Thoughts of Anna and Violet thump inside him like a second heart.

And he will do anything to keep them thriving.


	42. Chapter 42

_General Hospital, Port Charles_

"It's not like it is a competition or anything, his future looks bright, but I don't think it's nearly as bright as ours."

Anna's face brightened, and a smile lit her face. She set thoughts of Peter aside. She was happily conscious that their future prosperity was pronounced so settled by Finn.

"No, that would be impossible," she said; her velvet-brown eyes were soft.

At that moment, Finn loved all the world.

"I'm glad you feel that way." Finn leaned in and placed his lips on hers. She accepted and then leaned in with gentle pressure at first, but then she returned his kiss with a fervor that Finn felt all the way to his toes. His arm hooked around her waist, and his hand traced her jaw and gripped her hair while her arms lifted to rest on his shoulders. Then she opened her mouth to him, and they were both lost.

Anna's breathing increased, and sighs of satisfaction were coming from her, and Finn was thankful that the door to his office was closed, and he wondered briefly if it was possible to reach behind and turn the lock without taking his mouth away from hers.

Knowing their future was in front of them with no obstacles made Finn feel bold in his feelings towards this woman who he would soon call his wife. Her fingers had moved to his hair and a sure sign that she was pliable in his hands. He had her out of her jacket as quickly as he had helped her into it. He pulled her to him tighter and took a small step backward. He let his desire for her take over, and he had every intention of making love to her right then and there but only if he could get that damned door locked so he could do as he pleased.

He was aware of Anna's right leg as it lifted sensuously up the outside of his, and he caught and held it at his waist while reaching back to finally twist the lock shut, thankful he didn't have to worry about the blinds as they were already closed.

Her eyes danced with his as she realized what his intentions were. He reached and pulled her blouse from her waistband, pleased to hear her gasp out loud and seeing her chest heaving with excitement. He reached behind and lifted her off the ground, her legs instinctively encircling his waist. He looked deeply into her eyes for approval to continue, and he felt her squeeze tighter around him in encouragement. Her hands moved to loosen his tie, and their mouths met again, hot and passionate.

 _Bzzzzzzzzzz Bzzzzzzzzzz Bzzzzzzzzz_

Anna stiffened, and her lips broke from his. "Dr. Finn, is that your phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

Finn gripped her tighter with one arm while pulling his phone from his pocket and looking at the screen.

"It's Elizabeth. She just wants us to know that the movie is over, and we can pick up Violet whenever it is convenient for us."

Anna laughed into the side of his neck, and it felt delicious. But she deftly pushed off his shoulders and slid down his body until her feet touched the floor.

"It was very good of her and Franco to invite Violet to play with her cousins. I'm so glad she has so much family here in Port Charles. Raincheck Doctor?" she asked.

"A rain check is not ideal." Finn bantered back.

"Nothing ever is. But maybe you will make it up to me later?" she said coquettishly.

"Oh, you have no idea what I'm planning for later." he looked at her in a way that made her pulse race once again.

"You know I will hold you to whatever it is." she teased.

"Yes, it will involve you and me and as for holding? Let's just say I'm going to rely on your grip later." He ran his index finger down the side of her neck and felt her swallow thickly at his words and touch. "Is that a deal?"

"Done." She stepped back and tucked her shirt back in and then placed her hand on his cheek and then laid a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth.

"It's a pact then, future Mrs. Hamilton Finn. Let's go."

"Mrs. Hamilton Finn you say. We probably should actually talk about the last name situation then-"

"I'm sure we will," he said positively and then chuckled and kissed her deeply. When he pulled back, Anna couldn't hold back her own smile as she rolled her eyes at him. He looped his arm around her waist and kissed her temple as they walked out and towards the hospital elevators.

Her arms squeezed him so tight he could barely breathe.

 _Elizabeth and Franco's House, Port Charles_

Anna knocked on the door then moved to take Finn's arm and leaned her head on his shoulder as he stood stiffly beside her. There was a light in every window, the glow breaking out through the darkness like the warmth of a hearth against the dark background of night. The raw wind of an early spring evening was puffing in and out the front door landing, the air was still moist and chill. Anna held tightly to Finn for warmth and for comfort.

"Try to talk to Franco while we are here. I know that Liz would like us all to spend more time together as a family."

"I'll try. I'm just not sure what we have in common outside of General Hospital."

"And that's exactly the reason you should get to know him _outside_ of the hospital. You need to make more friends."

"I have plenty of friends," Finn said resolutely.

"Oh, really? Who?"

Finn thought for a moment. "Alexis is one. And Curtis...uh you and...Chase isn't so bad. Felicia is very nice. Robert and I are cordial, that counts for something."

"I think you have proved my point," she said dryly. "Liz has been a dear friend for years, and I trust her judgment, which has allowed me to be open-minded towards Franco. We all deserve a second chance, right? Anyway, just MAKE friends—you can do it—you may feel stiff sometimes, but underneath it all, you are one of those who has the knack to be charming when you want to be. And I know because I couldn't resist you."

"Hey, come on in." Franco smiled and waved them inside. "Heads up!" He lobbed the football, and Jake dove over the couch to make the catch. "Good hands!" Franco exclaimed enthusiastically, and he pointed to the breathless boy who held the ball aloft in triumph. "Hey dude, can you get Violet? Her dad's here to get her."

"Uh...I think she was doing a project with Aiden?"

"Then head upstairs and get her. Chop chop!"

Elizabeth seized Anna's arm and beckoned her into the kitchen. Anna leaned to follow, but not before she let her hand run down Finn's arm and squeezed his hand in a supportive fashion before breaking away from his side and leaving him to face-to-face with Franco, who continued to gesture to him amiably to come further up and further into their home.

The Webber-Baldwin house was much like themselves- a whirlwind of informality. Not very large, but large enough for a family that obviously loved each other's company. Every article of furniture was slightly askew; the evidence of family life was everywhere, a guitar in the corner, and a stack of half-opened mail on an end table, backpacks, and shoes next to the door.

Finn ventured farther into the living room and stood moodily with his hands in his pockets, trying to look anywhere other than the face of his host and feeling increasingly awkward when he knew he had no reason to. To be honest, Hamilton Finn never really knew what to make of Franco Baldwin. He had gregarious ease of manner that was both admirable and perplexing. Perhaps it was because that amount of surety and confidence of personality was a mystery to Finn. As a doctor who was at the top of his field, his confidence flowed freely but ebbed in the other parts of his life. Even now, he still was not fully comfortable when called upon to make small talk even with people he knew well. This was not the case for Franco; it seemed. His face was mobile and charming, and he seems to welcome and invite conversation at every opportunity.

Finn tried to put his finger on what made Franco so different from other people he knew who had overcome difficult and sordid pasts. Perhaps it was that he had learned the rare secret that you must take happiness when you find it—that there is no use in marking the place and coming back to it at a more convenient time because it will not be there then. It's as if he thoroughly knew how to find pleasure in little things. He enjoyed life and helped others to enjoy it.

In the kitchen, he could hear voices laughing and talking with ease. Finn looked over towards Anna, whose bright brown eyes shined with glee as she showed Elizabeth something on her phone, perhaps photos of Violet or Robin or Emma. Finn was suddenly struck by the amount of history these two women shared. Nothing, after all, could compare with the comfort of old ties, old friends.

Finn rubbed the back of his head as he was apt to do when he was at a loss on how best to proceed with social conventions. He finally looked at Franco, who was standing in the middle of the living room, smiling at him with his arms folded in front of him. He opened his mouth to inquire about how Franco's shift went, but his mouth clamped shut again when he remembered Anna's words, he should find something- anything- other than work to talk about. Finn knew he needed to say something to bridge the silence, so he took a deep breath, made eye contact. He nodded his head at Franco, who nodded back with a grin. Finn plastered what he hoped was a pleasant look on his face and said the first thing that came to mind.

"You have something in your hair."

"What?" Franco said, confused.

"In your hair…" Finn blurted out with flustered effort. He pointed with his index finger toward Franco's forehead.

Franco reached to touch his hair and felt around the light brown strands. "Oh!" he beamed. "Hey! I guess I do. That must have been from the slime we made earlier."

"Slime?"

"Oh yeah, she had a blast."

At that moment, Cam seized the opportunity to dash from the kitchen up to his room, looking at the screen of his phone with eagles eyes and his thumb flying across the surface.

"Hey, dude! I need your help." Franco pointed to Cam, unconcerned when he huffed at the interference of whatever thought he was trying to capture in 280 characters or less on his phone.

"See if you can find Violet's shoes. I think one is by the door, not sure where the other one ended up. But don't worry, if we can't find it tonight, I'm sure it'll turn up at some point- actually look outside but check it for caterpillars before you bring it in ok."

"Caterpillars-?"

"Oh yeah, the tree out back is full of them."

"Wait-wait!" Finn tried to keep panic out of his voice, "The white hickory tussock moth caterpillar was just found for the first time in upstate New York. Their hairs are barbed and cause contact dermatitis in people, particularly those prone to allergies. What if Violet touched one?"

"Does she have any allergies?" Franco asked calmly

"Uh...Not...not that I know of?" Finn said haltingly, drawing his dark brows together in a perplexed frown.

"Well, she doesn't have a rash. We all had a great time. She's a great kid."

"You seem tense, and that reminds me. So you know Finn, I've been doing this parenting thing for a while now, and I'd say I'm getting pretty good at it, so I wanted you to know if you ever need any advice I'm here for you." Franco slapped Finn on the shoulder, then picked up a half-full bowl of popcorn and threw a handful in his mouth and offered the bowl to Finn in a congenial manner, but Finn demurred. "You know, man to man."

"Wow. Franco that is _very_ generous of you, but I think I'm figuring it out on my own just fine."

"The main thing is to not worry about being perfect. Kids just want someone to love and listen to them; that's what they will remember the most. But it's not just parenting advice I can give. Sometimes you have to get creative in how to have _alone time_ if you know what I'm saying. Keeping the fire alive if you know what I mean."

"God," Finn muttered under his breath, "I don't think that's necessary."

"What did you say?" inquired Franco.

"Nothing—never mind—."

"You and Anna have been used to being on your own, free to do _what_ you want _whenever_ you want. Sometimes it's hard to be..." Franco looked over at Anna and Liz and then lowered his voice " _quiet_. So the key to a place where there is ambient noise. The shower is your best bet or the laundry room. Two words: Spin cycle."

Finn opened his mouth and then shut it again, he didn't even know how to bring this subject to a close while also trying to keep the tantalizing idea of swapping the laundry basket that usually sat on the washing machine and setting Anna in its place. That made the idea of such a quotidian task as laundry immensely more appealing.

"Ok. Thanks for the tip, I guess?" He racked his brain for a new topic, any topic other than his and Anna's sex life.

"So uh, thanks, Franco. Thank you for inviting Violet over tonight. I think it's important that she knows that she has a lot of family that cares about her since her mom can't be around right now."

"That has to be difficult on all of you. It's hard on a kid when they don't know what is going on, and you don't have many answers. When they are still small like Violet, you can hold off on some of the more difficult conversations. Now that Aidan is getting older, Liz has had to field a lot of questions about his dad and why he isn't around more.

"We take one day at a time and are just operating under the assumption that Hayden could be back any day because as far as Anna and I know she will. We have no reason to believe otherwise. Although every week that passes, uncertainty grows. So we want her to know that she's not alone that she has plenty of people that care about her.

"That's got to be different for her."

"Different?"

"Well yeah, you know…" Franco's voice trailed off.

Finn looked at him expectantly and inclined his head a fraction to encourage him to continue.

"It's just she's been used to being on her own with Hayden or whoever Hayden arranged to look after her while she moved around. This is probably the first permanent home that she has had. Believe me, as someone who knows what it is like to be deprived of it, but stability is a gift for a kid. Violet is lucky to have you giving her that. And for Hayden, whether she meant to or not, that was probably the least selfish decision she ever made."

"I guess I never really thought about it that way."

"It's what I've wanted for Liz and the boys; I want to be someone that they can count on. They can depend on me being here for them no matter what."

"I'm lucky that I have Anna. She's been so great about all of this. Violet really loves her."

"Picking the right partner is key." Franco's eyes seemed to look through Finn, who he turned to follow and see what captured his attention, and he found himself captured by sight as well. His gaze fell on Anna, who was smiling broadly, the corner of her eyes crinkling, and her dark eyes sparkling at Elizabeth, who was laughing at some private joke. Finn felt a pull at his heart. He turned back and spoke half to himself and half to Franco.

"Yeah, I guess what I don't understand is why one love can be enough," said Finn as he looked over at Anna. "And another isn't."

"Emotional safety," Franco said plainly, and he put another handful of popcorn into his mouth and began to chew thoughtfully.

Finn looked at him in surprise. "What?"

"You know, when we feel emotionally safe, we feel internally relaxed with another person. Our guard is down, and our shields don't go up when we interact. We feel free to be ourselves, which includes expressing our hurts, discontents, and longings without fearing that we'll be criticized or shamed. Emotional safety is an essential foundation for any intimate relationship, and its how it can succeed."

Finn stood dumbfounded. "Have you been eavesdropping at the AA meetings at the hospital?" he asked incredulously.

"No. Why?" Franco said nonplussed.

"That's just the kind of thing I expect to hear at meetings."

"I'm an art therapist, Finn. The process of self-expression and the resulting artwork is how I help clients understand their emotional conflicts, develop social skills, improve self-esteem, reduce anxiety, and restore normal function to their lives. That's what I do for a living. It's more than just finger painting and air-dry clay sculpture."

Finn winced slightly. He hadn't meant to disparage Franco or his professional capabilities. "I'm sorry, of course. You have a really important job, and the work you do should be commended."

"Thank you, Finn. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, so the connection we want with another person can seem so close, so we keep trying, yet we can't get it. It will drive you crazy when you love someone but don't have the trust and safety that are needed for the relationship to thrive."

"You are talking about Hayden and me?"

"No, actually, I was thinking of the relationships I had before I found Elizabeth. But it sounds like you see parallels too."

"Yeah, maybe. Yes, there are parallels." What he wanted to say was _stop probing into my soul, where you have no business being._

"Hayden might not be ready to change her stripes or not even aware she needs to. It's hard to change who you are as a person, especially when you don't know where to begin."

"But you did," Finn said pointedly.

"That's because I already knew what kind of person I wanted to be, and Elizabeth just reinforced that decision. Sometimes love has the power to transform us, but we don't recognize it till we have something to compare it to. Sometimes love can make your soul understand it's worth. You know what I mean? And even though you make mistakes and you know you can't completely make it right, you know you can be better for yourself. Does that help you make sense of things?"

"Actually, yes it does, Franco. Thanks, this conversation was helpful- strange and unexpected- but surprisingly helpful."

Suddenly there was a sound of laughter on the staircase-which meant that Violet, who had lived five years and 360 days and thought the world at the moment was a very enchanting place, was dancing her way downstairs with her big cousins following after her. You generally heard Violet before you saw her. She seldom walked. A little sprite of joy, she ran, skipped, or danced. Violet was always making some sort of magic for herself and Finn, and Anna thought that the constant trill of laughter echoing through what had been the somewhat prim and stately rooms of their house the loveliest sound in the world.

"Daddy! Anna!" Violet ran straight towards Finn, and he scooped her in his arms and hugged her close, this tiny thing, his dancing, starry-eyed girl. He ran his hand over her golden hair, and then his fingers recoiled from the feel of something damp and sticky. He realized that her hair was streaked with purple, and glitter was stuck to every strand.

"Daddy! We made slime!" she said joyously, wanting her father to share in her delight.

"Wow! I can see that sweetheart." her father said, trying hard to disguise his aversion to finding Newtonian fluids in unexpected places, like his daughter's long hair, for instance.

"Don't worry." Franco offered in a conciliatory tone, "It'll wash out. I learned that with Jake. You can use white vinegar to break it up if soap doesn't do the job. Easy."

"And if that doesn't work you can always grab the scissors and cut it out-"

"Wait! Hold on! What about scissors?" Anna's attention moved to the two men.

"Violet has slime in her hair." Aidan chimed in.

"Oh, slime? No one needs to cut anything. We can get that out. Robin used to fall asleep with gum in her mouth to get gum in her hair, and I held her down to get it out. And for a long time, I had hair longer than violets, and I would get nitroglycerin and adhesive in my hair all the time. And bomb residue was a pain to get out."

"Bomb residue?" Asked Cam incredulously.

"Um, nevermind. That's not important." Anna said quickly as she crimsoned and ducked her head.

"Daddy, we played outside today!" Violet took command once again.

"Is that why your pants are covered in mud?" He asked.

"I'm sorry, Daddy. The neighbor over the fence asked me an' Aidan to get her pet Smokey to go to her yard. It was hard chasing that _bloody_ _cat_."

The frozen horror on the faces of her family told her she had said something wrong. Finn looked aghast and turned his eyes immediately to Anna who also registered shock, Cam almost dropped his phone, Liz hid a grin behind her hand and Franco couldn't help letting out a deep, hearty laugh.

"Darling," said Anna gently once her powers of speech returned, "where did you learn to use that word? It's not a very...polite one."

"But Wobert said it on the phone," she said, smiling in wide blue-eyed innocence. "Wobert said he'd like to break every bloody bone in that bloody sod's body. It's not a bad word, is it daddy? Is it? If it is why?" she lisped questioningly and fixed her eyes on her father, smiling as she waited expectantly for an answer.

No one had an easy answer for why bloody was swearing. Even Franco-who was laughing himself sick over the incident-couldn't explain that. Anna looked at Finn, and he could hear her curse Robert's name under her breath "I'll knock his bloody head off next time I see him is what is going to happen," she said with murder in her eyes.

But Violet's mind was already on her next scheme; such a light heart could not be troubled long by the quizzical looks of the grownups around her. After all, who could ever really understand grownups anyway?

"Daddy. Do you have my invitations to my party?"

"Yes, sweetheart. As a matter of fact, I do."

"Can I have them please?" She asked sweetly, and Finn reached into the breast pocket of his jacket and pulled out a handful of purple envelopes. Violet had insisted on giving everyone their own invitation so no one would have to share. He set her down on the ground and watched as she ran through the house, yelling her cousin's names at the top of her lungs.

"Maybe slow down a bit!" he called after.

"It's ok. Running is fine. Everything in this house has been knocked over more than once and usually by me."

"Daddy. Is it time to go? It's past Bella and Otto's bedtime, and I have to put them to bed, or they will be cranky tomorrow."

"Yes, sweetheart. It's time to go."

"Goodnight! She's welcome any time. Wait! Before you both leave, I want to show you something that Violet made."

Liz handed a large piece of paper to Anna, who held it in her hands and looked at it carefully. It was a large heart, and inside were three figures. At the top, the words "My Family" were written in large printed letters, the y's were drawn backward, but the message was clear. Anna looked at Finn, her eyes suddenly glassy in the light.

"Violet, can you explain this picture to your Daddy and Anna like you did for me?" Liz asked gently.

"This is my heart, and inside is my family. Mommy, Anna, and Daddy and you all fit, and it doesn't even hurt."

"It's beautiful, Violet." Anna and Finn said in unison then stopped to smile softly at each other.

"Oh no! I forgot Roxy and Bella and Otto!" Violet exclaimed in distress, and no one could hide their smiles despite the seriousness of youth.

"You can fix it tomorrow, now come on let's get home."

The laughter of the goodnights died away, and Elizabeth watched as Anna and Finn walked to their car with Violet between them, her small hands clasped in theirs. She closed the door and clapped her hands.

"Ok, boys, it's late. Get upstairs, and I want teeth brushed and pajamas on." Jake and Aiden scrambled up the stairs, and Liz stopped her eldest with a hand on his arm. "And Cam, I don't want you on your phone too late, so one more hour, then I expect you to put it away. Alright?"

"I got it, mom." he ducked his head.

"Good." She pulled him into a hug and gave him a squeeze and then moved back to the kitchen, determined to restore order before retiring for the night. She heard a step behind her. When she turned her head, Franco was standing beside her, looking down at her with big, merry, hazel eyes. Liz wrapped her arms around him and felt herself relax. It was as if her entire body was exhaling and laid her head against his chest. She felt his arms tighten about her. The eyes looking into hers grew misty and very tender. She did not say anything, but she laid her head down on his shoulder and felt great happiness, like someone who was welcomed into some longed-for haven.

"What were you and Finn talking about earlier?"

"I was just giving him some advice."

"Advice on what?" She asked warily.

"It's ok. I just gave him some advice you know from one dad to another?" He said slowly, gauging her reaction.

She smiled and "Really? And what did you tell him?"

"Just that it's ok not to be perfect. That love can transform a person. Oh, and that the shower is a really good place to retreat to when you need some alone time as adults."

Liz's eyes quirked, and she smiled at him. But her eyes were as blue and brilliant, her cheeks rosy, and her lips enchanting.

"Alone time? As Adults?"

"Yes." Franco gathered her to him and placed a kiss at her temple.

"You know what I think you need to head to the shower to wash the slime out of your hair."

"I'll probably need some help."

"Yes, I think you do."

Elizabeth's laugh, blithe and irresistible rang out, and he joined her. Franco looked at her and remembered all of the thoughts and insecurities that had roiled through him when she had shown up unexpectedly at his jail cell with rings and a witness. Was he worthy of her? Could he make her as happy as he hoped? If he failed her—if he could not measure up to her standard of personhood what would he do—then, as she held out her hand, their eyes met, and all doubt was swept away in a joyous certainty despite the circumstances. They belonged to each other; and, no matter what life would hold for them, it could never alter that. Their happiness was in each other's keeping, and both were unafraid.

"Elizabeth, I love you," he said, suddenly serious.

"You are always such a romantic, you know," said Liz teasingly. His smile returned.

"Well, I was told that married life would most likely cure me of that," Franco teased in turn.

Elizabeth laughed again, and slipped away from his embrace and headed upstairs, looking behind her with bright, appreciative eyes as her gaze traveled over him, beckoning him to follow. Franco, as a passionate worshipper of beauty, had no choice but to follow. As an artist, every lovely thing heard or seen gave him a deep, subtle, inner joy that radiated his life. He was quite keenly aware that his wife embodied every quality of beauty he had ever acknowledged in the world with her spirit and pride and cleverness.

And he had no choice but to follow her. He'd follow her to the ends of the earth- as soon as the living room lights were turned out and the basket of laundry moved from the foot of the stairs to top of the landing. The pleasures of home and hearth that he never thought he would find so much satisfaction in.

Franco found her clothed in nothing but steam and warm water, and as he took her into his arms, skin sleek and shining, neither of them seemed to entertain much fear, or concern, that their married life would cure them of romance.

"So you decided to join me?" she asked eyes shining with a half-smile to accompany them.

And Franco's answer was not in words. She made him think of all sorts of wonderful things, such as sympathy, kindness, generosity, and women who were not afraid to grow old.

"Elizabeth." It was Franco's voice in her ear—a voice full of tenderness and longing.

"Yes" was all the reply she could give, further words were lost on her husband's lips. He lifted her up and heard her sigh with satisfaction as her legs hugged tight around him. The love of this woman, his wife, surrounded him and enfolded him with its infinite sweetness. Their shadows were dancing over the tiled walls, and they both took refuge in each other.

Their calm in the storm.


	43. Chapter 43

**_Anna, Finn & Violet's Manor, Port Charles_**

Confident fingers pressed the sterile cotton pad against the skin firmly, cleaning the cut with diligence and skillfulness. She carefully began to wrap the pad with a length of gauze. Anna leaned back and looked through the glasses that were set on the edge of her nose and eyed her work critically.

"I think I need one more, Dr. Barnes. Can you get me more gauze from over there?"

"W'ight away," she lisped.

Putting the blood-soiled towels aside, Anna took the clean strip of fabric from Violet's hands, continuing her task while her brow furrowed in silent scrutiny of Finn's carelessness. She said nothing, but she didn't need to, she's more than able to convey her exasperation with a mere glance.

Her assistant did not share her verbal restraint.

"You have to be more careful, Daddy," Violet shook her head slowly and stated with all seriousness. She stood next to Anna and watched with great interest as she finished bandaging the gash on her father's forearm.

"Yes, I know," he responded in the same solemn manner, trying hard to remain serious and suppress a smile from forming on his lips as he looks at his daughter.

Violet's eyes narrowed in a perfect reflection of her father's, and Anna knew she would soon be capable of expressing any sentiments with nothing more but a single expression just like her father. She loved that she was able to read each of them easily. Their blue eyes communicated so much.

Anna turned away for a moment, so clean up, And Violet turned in tandem, ready to assist.

"Alright Dr. Barnes, we need to apply a pressure bandage."

"Ok, Dr. Anna." She was at the ready, kitted out in her favorite Doc McStuffins lab coat and her daddy's stethoscope around her neck. Already she was looking with avid eyes for the drama of life. All Violet could ask for was that life was "int' resting," and today was proving to be just that.

Finn felt a sudden rise of emotions in his chest, entwining warmly in his swelling heart, but the sensation was marred by a string of unexpected pain that radiated from his arm just as the knot of the bandage tightened on the center of the cut.

He winced, and hiss escaped, and his arm flinched a little, and the corner of Anna's mouth twisted in a wordless _I told you so_ expression. She had a reason. She did warn him not to attempt to put up the tire swing in the backyard tree on his own and to ask Chase or at least wait for her or anyone else that could assist. But he persisted, as per usual, wanting to see Violet's excitement as soon as she got home from school. Yet Anna was right, he should have waited, and the only person who ended up getting hurt was himself, and he still was going to need to call his brother for help tomorrow anyway, for Violet must have her swing come hell or high water. He could have hidden his wound, but Anna came home early to surprise him, so he sat still, sitting patiently as she removed the dirt and dried blood from the wound. When Violet arrived home minutes later, she leaned in, fascinated by Anna's ministrations. Finn couldn't be more proud.

"Will he make it?" Violet asked anxiously. Anna could see her little mind working. Violet did an inordinate amount of thinking for someone so small.

"As they say 'Where there is life there is hope'," Anna said solemnly. Then she winked and smiled widely and immediately the worry evaporated from the little girl's eyes. Generally, Violet thought she wanted to be like her daddy in all things-but she loved to hear Anna talk. She had a little way of saying things. Nobody else could have said them like she did. And when Anna would say something simple like, "It's a beautiful day," her voice had a nice confidential tone that made Violet feel nobody else knew it was a beautiful day-that it was a lovely secret shared between them.

"Fortunately, it is a shallow cut, see Doctor?" Anna said. Violet peered at the bandage and nodded wisely. "No stitches are needed," Anna declared. "But I will require one more cotton pad, darling," she added, now glancing at Violet, who instantly moved from her place and reached for Finn's medical bag opened out on the side table. She took a pad and gave it to Anna with barely contained eagerness.

"Thank you," Anna took the offering, the satiric expression on her face now melting ever so slightly as a wave of affection planted a smile on her lips. Finn noticed and tried not to smile.

"You were lucky, Daddy," Violet pronounced matter-of-factly as Anna finished her task.

"This is not the first time he was lucky," Anna remarked, the amusement now flickering brighter in her eyes. "He has been known to be reckless on quite a few occasions," the gleam of affection turned to concern for a fleeting moment before settling back to its warm shine. Finn couldn't miss it and would have squeezed her hand in assurance if she had been in reach. She seemed to sense this and let her eyes shine at him in absolution.

With her assistance no longer required, Violet walked around Anna and stood by Finn's side.

"Why does he keep getting hurt?" she demanded, her little arms crossed and an expression so like her father's on her little face.

"Because he needs to take care, but here we are" it was a firm statement, and this time Finn could no longer hide the smile tugging at his lips. Anna's smile flourished as well; she didn't comment further, moving to appraise the dressing around the wound.

Violet's tiny hands braced themselves on Finn's leg, and one little knee lifted as she made an attempt to climb onto his lap in an entirely ineffective way. He came to her aid at once, his unhurt arm wrapped around her minute frame and pulling her up with ease. She settled herself with a satisfied smile, making Finn's grin expand in turn.

"Do you not always take care of yourself, Daddy?"

"Yes, that is correct. Anna's right, I should take better care of myself," he admitted without hesitation, his words eliciting another raise of Anna's brow, but paired with a delighted grin this time around. "I'm glad I have you two to remind me."

Once again, Anna opted for meaningful silence, focusing on cleaning up.

"And I know better now. I should always ask for help," he lifted his gaze to meet Anna's, watching it soften as she looked back at him with care. The cut all clean and secured; she set to repack his medical bag.

"Does it hurt, Daddy?" Violet inquired as he extended his bandaged arm and then let it rest on the back of the sofa.

"Only a little," he reassured her, his heart giving another fervent jolt while she glances at his arm with apprehension. "But a kiss might make it hurt less," he added with a grin.

Her face lit up at once, Violet threw her arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his cheek. Finn chuckled and wrapped his arm around her. He could see Anna trying to hide a smile of her own as she closed the bag.

"I am certain I will be better in no time now," he declared, "But perhaps, one more kiss would help, just for good measure," his grin surged playfully as he stared directly at Anna.

Violet turned to her expectantly. "Anna! Daddy needs another kiss to get better!"

Having finished tidying up, Anna turned to face him fully, head tilting to the side wryly. She looked at him, and he didn't expect her to fall for the same pretense as a 6-year-old. But Finn was not discouraged, it was worth a try. His gaze became softer as he continued to look at her. He didn't need to say anything. After all, his blue eyes too had a few tricks at their disposal.

Anna sighed but smiled nonetheless, stepping closer and leaning forward. She cradled his face in her hands and pressed a soft, lingering kiss on his lips. She pulled back and looked at him with a smile. Finn brought his hands to her face with his injury forgotten and put his lips to hers once more with intention. When he pulled back, he gazed at her and hugged his daughter closer still. Anna placed a quick kiss on the top of Violet's golden head, then stood up and picked up Finn's medical bag to return it to its place in the hall closet.

"I'm going to the kitchen to put some water on. When I'm done, why don't we all have a tea party with your new tea set?"

"Can I get the scones?" Violet clapped her hands with glee.

"It wouldn't be tea without them," Anna replied and held out her hand for Violet to take.

Finn looked at his fiancée and his daughter as they walked out of the room together.

 _Lucky._

The word did not even begin to describe it.


	44. Chapter 44

**_Stockholm, Sweden_**

Stockholm was a stately old city, harking back to early medieval days, and wrapped in its ancient atmosphere, as some fine old dame in garments. Here and there, it sprouted out into modernity, but at heart, it is still unspoiled; it was a mixture of past and present, and its citizens quite undisturbed by the clamor of traffic just beyond the relics of bygone eras. It was oddly fitting that this was the place where Anna was trying to fit together the pieces of her past to understand her present. The fact that it was a bleak, wet, and cruel evening seemed fitting as well.

All three of them remained silent on the ride from the clinic to their hotel. Robert drove, and Anna didn't object, which unnerved him if he was, to be honest. He peered at her from the rearview mirror, trying to read her thoughts but knew better than to try and draw her out. Finn, who was used to the ebb and flow of Robert and Anna's squabbling, also found the quietude disturbing. The silence continued in the hotel, and Finn left the two WSB agents in the bar nursing scotch while he headed to the front desk to check-in. When he returned, he found them as he had left them, sitting in silence, and Anna's scotch was practically untouched, Robert however, was on his second drink. Finn sat down next to her and placed his hand over hers.

They had arrived in Stockholm with hopes of a productive day. And now, this thrilling experience had turned out to be merely grotesque. Finn wanted to comfort her; he could somehow feel she needed help—craved it—and he wanted to give it to her and couldn't figure out how to begin. All the time he was with her, he felt as if he were watching her struggle with an invisible foe—trying to push it back with such resistance as she had. It was difficult for Finn to speak to anyone of the deepest thoughts of his heart, or the new ideas that had vaguely begun to shape themselves in his mind, concerning the great mysteries that lay before them; who made her ill, why, for what purpose?

Finn felt Anna's other hand rest on top of his, encasing it. The feel of her hand on his made up his mind. He stood up and tugged slightly, and she followed, raising herself from her seat.

"I think it's time to turn in," Finn said. Robert grunted his assent, looked up briefly, and waved them off. Anna squeezed his shoulder to say goodnight and followed Finn to the elevator and up to their room.

She looked around her. It was a beautiful example of Scandinavian modernism, and Anna felt sorry that her heavy thoughts didn't match the bright cheerfulness of the room. She suddenly realized what poor company she was.

"This didn't turn out to be the first Valentine's day that I had envisioned for us," she said apologetically.

"True." Finn nodded," My plans originally involved dinner, flowers, candles...and the fireplace did feature prominently. But considering that up until," he looked at his watch, "five hours ago I thought my Valentine's Day would involve listening to spy stories and then settling Robert's bar tab, I'd say this is a major improvement."

Anna ran her hands over the smooth, light wood of the bureau that stood on one side of the room, a weak smile on her lips at his comment. Finn's concern took root and blossomed into worry.

"What's bothering you? I mean, I know that it is _all_ bothering you, but there is something in particular that your brain won't let go of." He asked, hoping that she was ready to talk.

Anna looked at him then shrugged apologetically. "I was thinking of my sister and how everything has gone wrong between us."

Finn smiled, hoping to draw her out. "Oh, I understand that. I have had my own share of sibling strife."

"I think Chase is an angel, especially compared to veritable succubus that Alex has become."

"Don't let him off the hook that easily, he puts sugar in his coffee, and drinks milk out of the carton. I'm pretty sure that is a crime against nature."

She was thankful for the moment of banter. Their regular transmission. What they did best. Their intrinsic understanding of one another. Anna laughed; she was grateful for Finn's ability to smooth her feathers with a well-placed joke. But the dark thoughts returned, and she grew sober once more.

"What happened to me, Finn?" Anna turned away, and her voice lowered to almost a whisper, and Finn strained to hear her. " _Why_ did this happen to me?"

Finn walked over and wrapped his arms around her.

"We will figure it out. I'm here with you. We will solve this problem together. I promise you, Anna."

"Thank you. I know that you weren't expecting to see me here, but I hope you understand why I came."

"I do understand, Anna. I just wanted to be the one to bring you answers. And now we just have more questions. Hopefully, getting Cabot to Port Charles will get us closer to the truth."

"Right now, I want to be closer to you." She looked into his eyes, and they swayed slowly and evenly towards one another, like a magnet's pull towards true north. Their lips touched, gentle, undemanding, almost chaste.

 _Almost._

"Anna," Finn whispered, almost groaned and then pulled back. He didn't want to press her. "You are processing a lot right now. We don't-"

"Shh," Anna hushed him with a finger on his lips. "Right now, I want to feel like myself, not like someone who has been tampered with or damaged. And if I'm myself, then I am a woman in love with you. That is the thing I'm surest about right now. Surer of you than anything else in this moment." She leaned into him, breathing in the smell of his aftershave that still lingered on his collar. Then she stepped back and looked into his eyes. Her voice was low and flowed over Finn like warm honey. "I love you. It's Valentine's day. Please, take me to bed."

It was an invitation. A dare. A plea. And he couldn't resist. Without hesitation, Finn picked her up in his arms and cradled her to his chest, and she was content to let him.

"Finn," Anna sighed as he kissed the curve of her neck, she could feel the stubble of his chin rough against her skin. But he walked past the bed and carried her into the bathroom. Finn set her on her feet and immediately moved to adjust the taps on the shower and tested the water against his hand. Once he was satisfied with the water pressure, he turned. Anna stood her hands braced against the marble countertop staring at herself like a stranger in the mirror. Under the glow of the overhead fluorescent lights, the haunted look staining her face was all too evident. She tipped her head back, then to the side, then forward again as if she was trying to find herself in her reflection.

Finn reached out and slid her white jacket down off her shoulders, letting it fall to the black tiled floor.

"I think we both need to wash off the day," he explained, his voice barely able to find sound, so lost in her he was. He pursed his lips into a smile for a moment as he carefully tugged her shirt free of her waistband.

She nodded her understanding and assent, and Anna stepped closer and took over the task of undressing him. When he was completely bare, she stepped back and undressed, watching him as he watched her. His eyes roamed her body, not seeming to know where he wanted to look most. She took him by the hand, and together they stepped into the spray.

The water poured over them just on the edge of too hot and pinked their skin. Finn placed his hands on his shoulders and turned Anna away from him. The steaming water cascaded down her chest and stomach, and she let the soap run down her body as Finn drew a soapy cloth across her shoulders and down the center of her back and over the curve of her hips She leaned back against him and exhaled deeply. He continued to run the washcloth up and over her skin; her stomach, breasts, shoulders were all attended to. She turned in his arms, took the cloth from his hands, and began reciprocating his ministrations. Once finished, she lathered his hair and worked her fingers against his scalp until he was shivering from it. She stood on her tiptoes to reach the crown of his head, and in doing so, Anna stepped close enough that her breasts brushed against Finn's chest. In his state of arousal, he couldn't resist, and he notched his thigh between hers, pressing upward.

"Finn," Anna gasped, eyes closing as she gave in to the need to rock against the wonderful pressure. "Don't stop." He kissed her again, assured and passionate. She returned the kiss, feeling the building need of them both. She wanted him hard and fast; she wanted him slow and gentle. She just wanted him so badly.

Finn's ragged breath puffed warm and soft against her cheek, his fingers clenched against the swell of her hip, and she could feel his desire rising still. With this as encouragement Anna quickly finished washing his body and cleaned the lingering soap from Finn's body.

"I'm ready to take you to bed now, Anna," Finn said huskily when she was done, his frame practically shaking with need. The corner of his mouth quirked up, he shut off the water and stepped onto the bathroom floor, water pooling around her feet., He took a towel up, unfolded it, rubbing it briskly against her skin.

Together, they dried off and walked naked hand in hand to the bed. The sheets were crisp and cool when they slid between them, and Finn's body was warm and solid when he pulled Anna to him. He reached to turn off the light next to the bed, snuffing out the last light in the room. It was comforting to feel him steady and solid against her. She was gratified to be reminded that she wasn't alone in bed or in the world. The line of Finn's body curved against her back, his flesh bare and warm against her everywhere they touched; his arm was angled across her hip. Anna gave a gentle tug against his wrist, drawing his arm up until it curved against her ribs, his hand just beneath her breast. She pressed back into him. She held her breath when she felt the hot press of an open kiss against the join of her shoulder and neck.

"Finn," Anna gasped, pushing back and feeling the hard heat of him against her.

The room was completely dark, and to Anna, it was suddenly oppressively so. She had a moment of panic in the blackness of the room, her blindness still too recent. She stiffened, and Finn felt her distress.

"What do you want?" Finn asked softly. "Tell me."

Anna twisted away and reached for the light on the side table. The lamplight glowed harshly, but Anna didn't care.

"I want," she started, then paused, the words there but almost heavy in her throat. "I want to be able to see the face of the man I love."

Finn went still beside her. "Anna-?"

"Don't," Anna said. "Don't pretend you don't know why I followed you here. I followed you because I didn't want to be left alone to learn my fate second hand or to stay in our house alone, hoping that the world won't go dark again. The man we met today, Cabot, talked like he knew me, and yet he seemed to have no remorse at all for what happened to me. You understand why I am here."

"I understand, Anna."

Finn let her go for a moment, adjusting his position and then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back to the center of the bed, and she went willingly. He ran his hands, slow and steady over her, kissing her all the while, thighs to hips, hips to waist, up her belly to cup her breasts and brush teasing fingers over her skin. And wherever she begged for attention, he kissed her there too. Long lingering kisses that made her want more and never felt like there would be enough. He slid down her body in what felt like endless torment. Finally, he urged her to open for him, knowing how she liked to be touched. She tangled his hair between her fingers as he drew out her cries with hand and mouth.

Anna pulled his face to hers, pressing the full length of her body against his and kissing him deep and hard. His arms came around her back, and he moaned, mouth opening against hers. The kiss lasted long moments, until they were both breathless with it, and had to drawback. She then shifted from under him to over him and pushed him back against the bed as he had her and returned every kiss and touch, every careful exploration. And when Finn begged as she had, she straddled his hips and took what they both wanted, sinking down and feeling him press deep inside. They moved together, and she kissed him when pleasure took her, and he followed right after.

As they came back down to earth, Anna lay on her stomach, barely awake, and Finn was still slowly nuzzling the back of her neck. "Oh, Finn…" she sighed, "Thank you. I love you."

Finn worked his way to the left shoulder now. His lips were giving small pecks, millimeters apart. "And I…," he said between kisses, "love…" continuing on "you…" He gave one final kiss, this time longer, "too." As Anna opened her left eye, half of her face was still collapsed against her pillow; she saw her partner's gentle eyes contemplating her.

She had gotten used to this. She could no longer imagine waking up without him next to her. Anna still felt a pitch to her stomach when she thought long and hard about such things. It still terrified her. But moments like these calmed the turbulence spurring within her.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he whispered into her hair.

She turned and settled against his chest, her breathing slowing as sleep approached.

"Happy Valentine's Day."


End file.
